Monthly Archives: September 2010

Some New Studies About ADD/ADHD

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Many of you know one of my favorite things to do in my free time (uh, hah!) is to go to PubMed and look up medical studies on whatever catches my fancy of the moment.  Lately, I have been trying to understand even more about ADD/ADHD.  Even though I have treated many children with this challenge from a physical therapy perspective, even though I have had adult friends diagnosed with this condition, I really wanted to understand what was going on in the medical research world about it all.

Here are some studies that caught my eye, and I wanted to share them with you all. 

Here is the first one, entitled “The Delinquency Outcomes of Boys with ADHD with and Without Comorbidity”.

This study was done out of the Center for Children and Families at Florida International University.  It essentially examined the “the association between childhood ADHD and juvenile delinquency by examining data from the Pittsburgh ADHD Longitudinal Study (PALS), a follow-up study of individuals diagnosed with ADHD in childhood (ages 5-12) and re-contacted in adolescence and young adulthood for yearly follow-up .”  There were 288 participants with childhood ADHD and 209 control subjects.  The study’s findings suggested that “ boys with ADHD-only and ADHD + ODD also appear at a higher risk for later offending.” 

The second study I found was  entitled “Bipolar disorder co-morbidity in children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.” and came out of the neuropsychiatry department of La Scarpetta Hospital in Rome, Italy.  The study of 173 participants plus 100 healthy control subjects found that children with ADHD present a higher risk for developing a “superimposed bipolar disorder.”

The third study I found was this one:  “Self-Regulation of Emotion, Functional Impairment, and Comorbidity Among Children With ADHD” out of the University of North Caroline Greensboro.  According to the authors of this study, this study “investigated the role of self-regulation of emotion in relation to functional impairment and comorbidity among children with and without ADD/HD.”  This study  found that nearly half of the children “affected by AD/HD displayed significantly elevated levels of emotional lability versus 15% of those without this disorder.”  The authors stated that these findings “lent support to the notion that deficits in the self-regulation of emotion are evident in a substantial number of children with AD/HD and that these deficits play an important role in determining functional impairment and comorbidity outcomes.”

So, whilst these studies are dire-sounding, I  think the medical community is researching some important links between ADD/ADHD and the challenges these children face in social interaction and in dealing with emotions and mental health.  These could be things that parents of children with ADD/ADHD would want to be aware of in order to discuss them further with their health care team.

But, I certainly couldn’t just this topic with these studies without remarking on any possible hope……In my next post, I want to share some of the studies I found regarding more natural treatments of ADD/ADHD. 

Do any of you out there have children that have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD?  Would you like to share any comments in the comment boxes below?

Hold those children close and love them,

Carrie

Running Yourself Ragged?

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I see many mothers this time of year really running themselves ragged with taking their small, preschool-aged children to “things” – museums, group play dates, the zoo, music and gymnastics and dance classes…And the mothers are exhausted and stressed out trying to get their children out the door!

I know this is not popular opinion, so please do take this and meditate on it (even if this idea totally irritates you for this moment!) and see if anything about it resonates with you! I think small children under the age of 7 need rhythm and being home, especially if this under -7 child is your oldest child.  Those of us with babies and older children lament that the little ones have to come along to things – when your preschool aged child is your oldest, you have options!   Trust me, there will be plenty of time for “field trips”, classes, lessons and other things as your child matures, and these things will mean much more to them at that time.   I have written many back posts on this!

Here are some things I think are important for small children:

  • A strong rhythm of in-breath and out-breath, ie, quiet times and more active times.
  • Learning how to do lots of practical things around the house with cooking, cleaning, washing, gardening, baking.
  • Having lots of time in nature.
  • Having lots of time to help prepare for festivals, holidays, religious celebrations. Surrounding yourself and your child with your deep spiritual beliefs.  If you don’t know what those are, now is the time to figure it out! 🙂
  • Having unhurried time.  Time to sleep and to rest, which a child cannot do if they are rushing around.
  • Doing activities that stimulate the imagination and limiting adult stresses.
  • Parents who are doing inner work in the five things that every parent needs:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/03/29/five-things-every-parent-needs/
  • The Laws of Childhood: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/23/carries-laws-of-childhood/

These are the years that you will not be able to get back, and it is important to meditate mindfully upon what is best for your family.  Please do!

If you need some back post help, here are a few that you may want to read or re-read and think about:

Many blessings to all of you!

Carrie

A Rant: In Pursuit of Perfectionism

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I told a dear friend the other day that I don’t want to be perfect; I want to be ME!  There really is no perfection in parenting, in life, in homemaking; there is only the journey.  I am so tired of seeing wonderful mothers beat themselves up day in and day out over not being perfect.  Not only do we not have to be perfect, but why do we WANT to be perfect and pass this striving for “perfection only” onto  our children, especially onto our daughters?

Yes, there are certain truths in parenting and in life to work with.  I believe that.  Some of you have asked if  I am perfect! Hah! No!  The people who know me in real life can only attest to my utter lack of perfection!  And, if you look at the “About” section you will see I started this blog because there were so many things I needed to learn regarding parenting that I didn’t want anyone else to also feel like they had to re-create the parenting wheel.  So I share what I have learned, what I think, what I value here and you can decide if it resonates with you or not.  Decide if it fits with your family or not.  Be mindful and make your choices wisely, but please do not punish yourself for the learning process that the journey holds. 

This blog entails the journeys of so many different families.  I have said this before, that honestly this blog is about less than my own personal parenting journey; it is about the journeys of the  thousands of families I have worked with , observed, counseled, assisted and loved.  I love children.  All of them.  I have worked with so many as a neonatal physical therapist, as a pediatric physical therapist, as a lactation consultant, as a homeschooling consultant, as a worker in church programs, as a friend, a neighbor.  I have worked in the inner city, I have worked in the suburbs.  Those difficult children no one else likes?  Those are the ones I like.  The ones no one wants to deal with because of their special needs, their challenges, their attitudes?  I love those children the best.    I can tell you what I have seen work for so many different families with so many different types of children from birth through age twenty-one.  And yes, those teenagers were also some of my favorites!  I see the precious gift that all of them are.

So why, as parents, as mothers, as the people who set the tone in our homes, do we waste precious time with these beautiful children  feeling guilty, feeling inadequate and stewing about things gone?    I have literally seen wonderful mothers who have taken the  one “wrong” thing they think they did and let it color their past parenting history, ruin the present moment and tarnish the future that has not even arrived.  One bad moment does not a terrible mother make! 

I am not suggesting you throw peaceful parenting out the window – not at all!  I am suggesting you have ideals, I am suggesting you continually strive and work to be the best parent you can be!  But most of all, I am suggesting that you accept yourself as human.   I am suggesting that you have more fun in your family and worry a whole lot less.

Sometimes I feel as if I am running; so much to do and not enough time here on earth to do it all…… If I could do one thing in my life outside of my own journey with my husband and children,  it would be to change on a major scale across this country HOW families view their children.  I want to help mothers especially.  I want to help mothers create a mindful family life, to convince them to have realistic expectations for their children and to help them understand what those might be, to help them in their striving to be gentle parents, to help them  understand the preciousness of this time and how to really connect with their children.  I want them to understand how to set the tone in their own homes, how to hold the space for these tiny beings who are learning, and how to do it with joy!

Hold an image of yourself in your mind’s eye as being the mother you want to be; imperfections, flaws and all!  Those things, all of it, is what makes us who we are!  Hold your children close!  Tell them you are glad the storm of anger passed and let’s all get our hands busy and nurture each other and our homes!   Let’s show compassion for one another when we are just human!  Let’s laugh and have joy and have fun together!  No wallowing in the weaknesses, just do better next time!  Life is so short, it is so fleeting, just love one another!

Many blessings on you all tonight,

Carrie

Bullying!

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I read an interesting mainstream article the other day (and which mainstream magazine it was in, I cannot remember), but the article was talking about the massive rise in incidents of bullying across the United States and possible reasons for this increase.

One thing that was mentioned in the article that I found very interesting from both a Waldorf perspective and a homeschooling perspective is that researchers believe a contributing factor to bullying is that children no longer spend their free time playing in groups.  Instead, children have nearly all of  their free time scheduled in team sports, classes.  Recess has been all but eliminated at many schools.  In essence, there are no chances for children to get together and play and learn how to interact acceptably within mixed aged groups in creative, free play.  

I have been privileged to work with thousands of families over the years and observe children in a variety of situations surrounding school, places of worship, groups in hospitals, homeschooling groups.  Have you ever watched a truly mixed-age group of children play?  If you have the wonderful and unique opportunity to observe a group of children of vastly different ages all playing, you can see how the younger children are on the outskirts and fringes of play mainly just  watching, how the range of older children help organize the play, and how the children all work together to solve conflict.  Unfortunately, there is not too much of this going on these days.  In this day and age, it tends to be all children of one age playing together.

However, in this day and age there is another skill and piece of this group/free play to consider.  Children these days really get very little constructive practice with conflict resolution at the family level.  They are busy running around with activities and lessons and carpools.  Many children no longer have large families with multiple siblings or huge extended families with many cousins to take these first steps toward group play and conflict resolution.  

So, it is my opinion that naturally small children under the age of 7 do not know how to  “work it out” unless this has been modeling and demonstrated over time for them and that in the past there is no way a group of small children would be playing without the older children of the family or village involved.   There is no way these tiny children would be so responsible for their own play!  And now, these tiny children grow up and become older, larger, bigger children who still have no idea how to interact socially without things being dictated by a coach or someone else.  They missed the beginning foundation!

So, these play dates where  mothers are huddled in a corner talking and the children are running wild and free often do not work out well.  Parents need to be around to show how to take turns, how to show compassion, and how to solve conflict.  I have talked about this frequently on this blog; you can use the search engine to search back posts. 

The other piece is that if children are constantly rushing around, there is no time for the parent to demonstrate how to look carefully at an animal or insect close-up, there is no time to help the neighbor down the street who needs it, there is no time to drive the four hours to grandma after she fell and help take care of her house (since grandma does not live in town near her children in our society anymore).  These are the experiences that build compassion and understanding for the growing child.

I think there is another that the mainstream article did not mention that is contributing to the rise of bullying:  the rise of children who have sensory processing problems and challenges such as  ADD/ADHD.  These children may be bullied simply because they cannot read another child’s social behavior.  You can see the US Government Fact Sheet regarding bullying and children with special needs here:  http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/adults/tip-sheets/tip-sheet-24.aspx

One thing this fact sheet points out is that children with ADD/ADHD are not only more likely to be bullied themselves,  but that they are slightly more likely to bully their peers.  The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has a fact sheet here:   http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/bullying  If your child is a bully, professional help is needed.  Children who identify themselves as a bully in the middle school years are four times more likely to have a criminal conviction by age 24, according to a study cited in this article here:  http://www.education.com/magazine/article/what-to-do-if-your-child-is-a-bully/

Two other factors that also seem to me contributing causes for bullying include lack of rites of passages and the inability of children these days to have flexibility and resiliency.  Kim John Payne has tied lack of cultural rites of passage to bullying for older children in this interesting article here:  http://kimjohnpayne.com/files/SocialInclusionArticleCalgary  I talked about the importance of rites of passage when I reviewed this book:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/06/30/rite-of-passage-parenting-four-essential-experiences-to-equip-your-kids-for-life-heading-up-to-the-nine-year-change-and-beyond/

Kim John Payne also talks about the importance of slowing down, reducing clutter in the environment and other ways to help children lay good foundations for health but to increase resiliency.  You can refer to his book “Simplicity Parenting” for more information as to how to build resiliency in children.  You can see my review of Kim John Payne’s book here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/26/favorite-waldorf-resource-2-simplicity-parenting-using-the-extraordinary-power-of-less-to-raise-calmer-happier-and-more-secure-kids-by-kim-john-payne-and-lisa-ross/

Some parents believe that homeschooling will eliminate bullying from their children’s lives.  I do not think this is the case.  Bullying can occur even in homeschool groups!  Homeschooling children are not immune, and parents still  must be vigilant and involved.  Homeschooling involves being with your children 24/7 and sometimes parents really want to take a break at a homeschooling event – but this may not be the place!  Your children still need your help!  Parents must show their children how to slow down and have compassion for other people and animals.  Parents have a big job.

I would love to hear your experiences regarding bullying, social inclusion and issues related to this – leave me a comment in the box!  This post has many links, and a lot to think about, so I am going to leave this post up for a few days.  Thank you all!

Many blessings,

Carrie

A Review: Autumn Tales by Suzanne Down

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The funny thing about doing reviews is that I can tell you what I like or don’t like about something, but those may not be the things YOU like or dislike.  So, like everything else on this blog, please filter it through the fact that you are the expert on your own family and you will find in your heart what works best or does not work best.  Find what resonates with you!

Onto the review!  This is a paperback, spiral-bound little book of about 38 pages or so entitled “Autumn Tales:  A seasonal collection of poems and stories to be a helpful resource for teachers and parents.”

This book begins with 11 pages of verses that cover all the things one would see or associate with fall:  leaves, wind, farm animals and worker archetypal characters, geese, Harvest moons, pumpkins, spiders, witches for Halloween, apples, acorn fairies, ponies, Michaelmas swords and taming dragons, lanterns, Jack Frost, scarecrows and more!  The verses would be especially wonderful for ages 3-6, and perhaps you could even stretch them into using them for the grades or using the suggestion of movement from a verse for Form Drawing or  poetry or handwriting practice for the grades after the children learn the verses orally.  (yes, there is that oral work to handwriting to reading practice again!) .  I also like the idea of taking these verses and using them as a basis for your Nature Table or even taking the verses and crafting a fine story out of them.  For example, there is a sweet verse about a spider and a mouse living in a warm, snug little pumpkin house all winter that would be easy to make into a longer story.

The stories themselves are: Harvest Moon Magic, Piper’s Wild Plum Pie, How Witchamaroo Became the Pocket Witch (this story is a Halloween tradition in our house!  Who does not like Witchamaroo?), The Star House (great for visits to the apple orchard to pick apples), The Apple Elves, Star Kisses, Mother Earth’s Children, Little Boy Knight (a Michaelmas tale for young children), Why Trees Turn Color in Autumn, How Corn Came to the World, The Wise Ant  and Autumn Bear.

The stories themselves would most likely appeal to the four to six year old crowd, although a three-year-old could follow “Autumn Bear”.   I find many of the stories delightful myself as an adult, so again, I think it would all depend how you decide to work with them and bring them into gardening or seasonal traditions. 

There is one page at the back of the book with some simple patterns for a maple leaf, a pumpkin, a red apple and a mouse in order to make some finger puppets.

If you are interested in learning more about this book, please see this link over at Juniper Tree School of Story and Puppetry Arts:  http://junipertreepuppets.com/books/

I had the great fortune of once attending a workshop with Suzanne Down; my secret dream is to one day go through her puppetry arts training.  Ah, the big dreams of life!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Posts I Am Enjoying

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Hi All!

Here are a few things I am enjoying from around the Web:

  • NobleMother’s series on John Gottman’s book, “Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work”:

Take a peek at this post and follow along: http://www.noblemother.com/2010/08/day-1-creating-a-marriage-that-rocks/

What are you all looking at on the Web?

Many blessings,

Carrie

Aww, Shucks.

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This has been a week of people acknowledging the work that goes into “The Parenting Passageway” blog and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone.

This blog, specifically this post on Children and Chores (https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/08/15/more-regarding-children-and-chores-in-the-waldorf-home/), was mentioned in the September 2010 E-zine by Simplicity Parenting author and expert Kim John Payne.  You can sign up to receive the free monthly E-zines here:  http://simplicityparenting.com/forsimplicityparents.html

I also was one of the blogs voted on and recognized over at The Waldorf Connection as Number Two of “The Best Waldorf Blogs” here:  http://thewaldorfconnection.com/uncategorized/waldorf-homeschooling-best-waldorf-blogs/

It is my fervent hope whether you are a parent seeking simplicity, a parent of small children or older children, a homeschooling parent or a parent whose children go to school, that you will all find something helpful here in this space.

Thank you all again so very much.

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Story Apron

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My dear friend and fellow Waldorf Homeschooling mother, Natalie, has been busy making and dreaming about making several  “story aprons” of different types.  She has so inspired me, and I wanted to share that with you all.

One type of apron reminds me of “The Pocket Lady” from our local Waldorf School’s Holiday Faire.  Essentially, the Pocket Lady at the Faire has a long coat made with many pockets filled with little crafted treats that the children can pick.  My friend is making a simpler version of this – taking an apron with pockets, embellishing the pockets with a beautiful design and filling each pocket with a needle-felted creation or nature item that represents a verse or song for her Kindergarten-aged child.  The child gets to pick the pocket and hear the verse or song that goes with the object.  What a cute idea!  A type of apron that may work for something like this would be this one at Dharma Trading Company:  http://www.dharmatrading.com/html/eng/7559578-AA.shtml  or to make your own!

The second kind of apron that we are both dreaming of making is one my friend saw over at Suzanne Down’s beautiful puppetry blog in the following post:  http://junipertreepuppets.com/story-apron-wool-magic-article/ .  You can see a photo of The Story Apron in action here:  http://junipertreepuppets.com/the-power-of-language/   and more pictures here:  http://junipertreepuppets.com/puppet-story-apron-class/

Essentially, my thought was to wet felt a circular, pizza -dish sized wool for the top, to embellish that with dry needle felting and then to sew it onto a silk I have dyed.    My plan is to make an apron  for Fall, Winter and Spring (ie, our school year) and use those seasonal backdrops for a variety of needle-felted puppets.

Has anyone done this and have experience to share?
This is such a lovely idea, thank you so much to my dear friend and to Suzanne Down for the inspiration!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Plans for Waldorf Homeschooling Second Grade

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For those of you finishing up Second Grade planning, Eva over at Untrodden Paths has just posted her Second Grade layout of blocks and I thought you all might be interested in how she did it here:  http://untroddenpaths.blogspot.com/2010/08/one-of-veronikas-birthday-presents-was.html

Her blog is beautiful, head on over and say hello!

Jen over at Ancient Hearth also just posted her Second Grade plans here:  http://ancienthearth2.blogspot.com/2010/08/general-plan-for-grade-2.html  She has some great read-alouds that are traditional for Waldorf Grade 2 along with some of my favorites…Peter and Annali and Min!  Yay!

For those of you looking for how I laid out Second Grade, here is a back post to get you started:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/05/21/how-to-plan-waldorf-homeschool-second-grade-part-two/

For those of you who are not aware, there is a Yahoo!Group for mothers planning their Second Grade experiences here:  SecondGradeWaldorf@yahoogroups.com

We have been having a discussion on the Second Grade Yahoo!Group regarding trickster tales…..The next time I do Second Grade, I think I am going to do an entire block of Anansi the Spider tales from the book by Philip Sherlock.  I think I would also add a block of Celtic Fairy Tales (we did Russian Fairy Tales which is also enjoyable!)…   I have some other thoughts as well for the next time around because the child coming up to Second Grade is different than the child who just finished Second Grade.  That is the joy of homeschooling, that we can tailor things to each individual child!

Many blessings,

Carrie