These are five things every parent needs to have right now; these are the keys to parenting!
Compassionate Connection : Connection is the number one tool to parenting and to discipline, to that guiding of a child throughout these years at home. You get it by choosing to connect with your child, by choosing to view you and your child as being on the same team instead of being against each other. You get it by choosing to love your child as you guide them over the bumps of life and development instead of being mad at them for being immature and making mistakes, which is what small children are and what small children do.
Kindness : Kindness in the home is of utmost importance. Your small child is watching everything you do and say and how you treat other people, including how you treat yourself. How do you promote kindness in your home? How do you model forgiveness for yourself for being human? Try this one for ideas: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/03/kindness-in-your-home/
Gentleness: Your child always deserves to have gentle hands. If you cannot be gentle with them, you must take a parent time-out. You can set a boundary, stick to a boundary, and still be gentle. It is possible! You can parent peacefully! See here for one of the many posts about this on this blog: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/01/05/an-emergency-how-to-how-to-parent-peacefully-with-children-under-age-9/
and here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/17/raising-peaceful-children/
Patience: Many parents will ruefully sigh and say, “I am not patient enough with my child.” I agree it is important to have patience regarding the day to day and minute to minute interactions with your child; I have many posts about that, but the kind of patience I am really talking about right now is being patient with the process of DEVELOPMENT. This means not rushing a child out of childhood, and being willing to set boundaries to preserve that child’s innocence in early childhood and in the grades of school as well. Understanding developmental stages and having realistic expectations for each age is vital. There are many posts on this blog about this, all the developmental stages are currently covered from the age of twelve months through age nine. There are also many posts regarding babies under the “Baby and Toddler” header. Here is one post regarding patience for your reading pleasure:
Maturity: Having a baby and a small child in the home SHOULD cause a change in your lifestyle. Please do not use the fact you are breastfeeding and can carry your child in a sling as an excuse to drag your child to all kinds of adult places. Why should your toddler behave while you have coffee with a friend? Why should your small baby sleep through the night when biologically they are not there yet? Why should your toddler or preschooler willingly separate from you when they consider themselves to be a part of you? Have the maturity to know that this is a season, this too shall pass, and that these early years of childhood are remarkably short.
A Positive Attitude! I have written about this repeatedly. Here are a few back posts for your reading pleasure: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/09/19/day-number-three-of-20-days-toward-being-a-more-mindful-mother/
and here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/06/17/the-power-of-being-a-positive-mother/
Simple Parenting at its best! Peaceful March with Simple Parenting!
I really appreciate your posts, Carrie. Being a mother is the most awesome thing I’ve ever done, but especially right now with a baby and a toddler it is also the most challenging! I really appreciate the inspiration you provide me to keep growing towards being the mother I want to be.
You also pointed me toward the Unconditional Parenting book, which reaffirmed so many things that my husband and I have talked about but also delved deeper in some areas than we ever have. Thank you!
Thank you Ilex, for being here!
I love this message! You are such a blessing to me. thank you for sharing all of this.
Thank you Noelle – God Bless!
so wonderful 🙂
I found your blog back in December and I find myself coming here more frequently than I imagined. Your posts are wonderfully written….never condescending or judgmental. We are not a Waldorf family, but I espouse many of the practices. Thank you for providing much-needed guidance and support for parents.
Thanks Terri, at heart I am about attachment and connection, so I think that does resonate with many people..
Thank you for reading!
Thank you Terri for being here and for your voice in this space!
CArrie, I just love this. I am going to share it with my husband. Thank you so much for engendering peace in the home. I know it’s been said, but you truly are a blessing!
Thank you so much Angie! That is sweet of you!
Thank You Angie!
Blessings to you!
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