Today’s focus is on being POSITIVE! This is a very important trait to pass on to your children – did you know that negativity can be “inherited” by your children? They really do model your outlook on life!
There can be PHYSICAL reasons and PSYCHOLOGICAL reasons for not being positive – I urge you to talk to your medical provider, and a mental health care professional if you are depressed! This post is more about just the day-by day ways we look at our lives! Not to be confused with situations that need medical help!
So, you may be reading this and thinking, yes, I have been rather negative lately…So I ask you, what kind of negative person are you? I think there are different kinds of negative people, and I have listed a few types here I thought of off the top of my head:
THE WOE-IS-ME type: Nothing ever goes right, no matter how hard I try! Life has dealt me so many bad things and I can’t overcome it! In parenting, I think this often manifests itself as talking about oneself, how “horrible” one’s child and spouse are even when things are not that bad (and I am not talking here about spousal abuse and other dire situations of emotional and physical abuse!) This is more a type of magnifying the day-to-day things that happen.
THE DRAMA QUEEN: Every small thing that happens is fodder to be talked about, discussed, dissected for days and days. The Drama Queen has a vortex-like pull and pulls everyone down around her.
THE GRUMP: Chronically angry, chronically sad and may not even realize that this is how they view things. They may even say things like, “I am just realistic, that’s all!” Personally, I don’t want to live in your reality! I think people who just complain but then don’t do anything to change their situation would also fit here in this category.
What other types can you think of? I am sure we could come up with some great “category names” for types of negative people! But how sad when our children have to live with this negativity and lack of confidence and joy day after day!
If you have been in a “negative slump” what can you do to change it?
What would you need in your life to be “happy” and if you got this, would you truly be happy or not? Think about this one carefully!
That is for you to answer, because you and you alone hold the power to this, but here are a few things that have helped other mothers that I have heard:
- -Positive self-talk – in other words, learning how to use our words to NOT magnify a situation. Focusing on solving the problem rather than just the complaint of it all. Keep track and see how many times I day you say, “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t have done that”.
- -Inner work – Many positive mothers do have a strong spiritual life.
- -Encouragement! When our children are learning to crawl and their little arms collapse and they bonk themselves in the head, we don’t say, “Well, you did great but next time keep your arms straight!” which is what we tend to say to older children trying something for the first time. How many words of encouragement are you giving your children each day? How many times do you encourage your spouse or do you just nag and tell him all the negative things when he walks in the door?
- -Taking care of oneself – Are you overweight? Do you exercise? How do you eat? And most importantly, are you getting enough rest at night and are you taking a daily quiet time?
- -A Support System – this is so important; many mothers are very isolated! Sometimes this isn’t bad and the mom functions just fine within her nuclear family, but if you are an outgoing person like me, you may need some outside contact….which leads me to:
- -Do you have any community at all? A religious community, a spiritual community, a neighborhood community, a homeschooling community?
- Lastly, this is one of my favorite Christian resources for positive mothering, dealing with anger and other issues: http://www.positivemom.com/ It may not speak to everyone, but for some of you it may provide encouragement!
Leave your thoughts and inspiration for other mothers in the comment section!