Some days patience is hard to come by. It is not always easy to remember that we most likely have to do things with our children 500 times calmly to “make them stick”. It is easy to get frustrated, and in our worst moments to imagine and envision that our children would be better off in school, better off with the neighbor down the street, better off with anyone but us as their parent!
Take a deep breath. I firmly believe that your children have picked you to be their parent. Your children are right where they are supposed to be. You are working hard on becoming more mindful, on understanding normal developmental stages, on having realistic expectations, on setting the tone in your home.
Baby steps. Be content with the baby steps. Becoming a peaceful, mindful parent does not happen overnight. It does not mean that you will never get angry again. It does not mean you will never parent in a moment in a way you may regret later on. We are human, we are not robots!
What it does mean though is that you have an ideal, you have a framework, you have a goal in mind and when you or your family are off-track, you look to that framework to get back on-track.
Patience is important in this process of raising children. Patience with them as they develop. Patience with them as they go through challenging developmental stages or as you work with your child to help shape and guide some of his or her more challenging character qualities. Patience as you work with yourself and your own shortcomings.
My personal suggestions for developing patience include the following:
Realizing that the behavior of a child under the age of 7 does not have to change your behavior toward the negative. That is an awful lot of power to give to a small child! Be patient enough to be the one able to hold the course, set the tone, be the wall and hold the space. They are three, four, five, six and you have many more years of living than they do!
But by the same token, be patient enough to have flexibility and not rigidity. Steiner felt children were here as our teachers. Be patient enough to take a deep breath in the moment and ask what is yours to learn here.
Be patient enough for silence, for waiting, for your child to create an idea. Give less words and movement a moment to work!
Be patient with your spouse. You are modeling this for your children to see. Love one another and show your child this wonderful relationship.
Be patient for allowing time for things to take effect. If you are working on new things with your children in your home, it may take time to get it flowing smoothly.
Lots of love,