Joy In Parenting

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Happy Tuesday of Easter Week!  Today’s post is based on inspiration from The Collect for today found in The Book of Common Prayer, “that we…may be found worthy to attain everlasting joys”.

Do you have everlasting joys right now in this place and in this time?

Almost every day I get asked through email or in consulting about “how can I enjoy being with my children?”  We live in such a fast-paced world, and one in which many parents are entering parenthood at older ages and many are coming to parenthood with an approach akin to starting work at a large company. 

The only problem with this is that you don’t really see the results of your “project” for many years.  Oh, and your “project” has their own ideas about the project, LOL.  It quickly becomes obvious to those parents open to this possibility that parenting is not like working at a company.

Parenting is 24/7.  It involves you coming face to face with whatever baggage you have been carrying around from life. How scary and how exhilarating!  It involves you personally growing.  It involves you making decisions, being an authority in your own home, and it involves you being able to discern your most essential priorities.  These things can be challenging for many parents!

It also can be joyous.  With all the things mentioned above comes freedom and the shaping of how you want things to be.  Small children (and many of us!) do best in a rhythmic, unhurried environment with lots of time outside.  That can be so freeing and joyous, to marvel together at the smallest wonders of life, to laugh like only a small child can.

If you are missing the joy in your life, how can you capture it?

Joy is an attitude of the innermost heart.  It is something you can ask for in your prayers and meditation, it is something you can do as you go through your day.  Can I slow down enough whilst I am washing the dishes to really feel the soap bubbles on my hands and the warm water and hum?  That is joyous.  Can I stop in the middle of the day and hold my child close and smell his or her hair and look at that child’s chubby little thighs and just love them and feel joyous that they are here, that I am the parent?

Can I discern what I need to feel joyous, but also can I just “do it” even if the things going on around me are not what I think I need to be joyful?  Can I grow and stretch in this way as I become a more mature parent?  Can I be joyful at three A.M. when I have had a night of waking up all night long with a reflux-ridden infant or a teething toddler?  Can I be joyous as I clean or cook or attend to my child’s needs?  Can I be joyous?

Joy can not only replace fear, but it can also provide a gateway to a peaceful and calm heart.  If raising children who are peaceful and who can grow up to be peacemakers is important to you, then you finding your own joy in your life and showing this in your every task and in your being is the place to begin.

 

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Sacred In The Ordinary

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Happy Easter Monday to you all!  In the Collect for today from The Book of Common Prayer, there was a part that said, “…that we may behold thee in all thy works….”

I started thinking about seeing the sacred in the ordinary.  Do we really do that?  I like to think that as mindful parents we really do; that we take that time to really look at our children and their joyful faces or to see the sunrise or to look at that ant or that flower.

But sometimes, life with small children can become one giant to-do list if we let it.  A list of places to go each day, chores to do each day, days of doing the same things over and over and over – diaper changes, feeding children, cleaning up.  And starting all over again.

I wondered for myself,  if just for today, I could pause long enough to see the sacred in the ordinary.  Could I really counteract that feeling of irritation or frustration of having to “do that again” with joy and gratitude? 

I have a beautiful family;  I have a lovely home.  Things are not perfect in my world, and I bet they are not perfect in yours.  But why should that stop our gratitude in the moment?  Why should that stop us from taking our work and offering it with love to our families?

Just for today, let us see the beauty and joy in our world with love and with reverence.  Our children will surely notice and follow our hearts and attitudes.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Easter in The Waldorf Home

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These were words written by Mrs. Marsha Johnson, a Master Waldorf Teacher, last year about Easter but they are so worth hearing again.  To Join Mrs. Johnson’s list, and hear more of her wisdom regarding parenting and home education, please see waldorfhomeeducators@yahoogroups.com

Here is what Mrs. Johnson wrote (and look for a special message from me at the bottom of this post)

Easter is approaching and in Waldorf schools we recognize this very important festival with a week before and a week after….on a break from school.
 
Two whole weeks. The first week is often a transition week, settling in, often traveling, kind of debriefing, doing all the house chores we have been putting off for months. 

Then the 2nd week, we really do finally relax for at least part of the week and then of course like good teachers, we spend the last few days getting ready for the back to school time.
 
Easter represents a true division in the time of the human on earth, it is a critical juxtaposition of the spirit world and the earthly world, when the being of Christ transformed the boundary of death into a living real experience. He transcended the boundaries of the finality of death. 

Steiner has many interesting things to say about the time of Easter and the Christ Being and many groups do schedule a time of 3-4 social study groups to read aloud some of the Easter texts and marvel at the new insights (always new) on this event in history.
 
In the olden days, the Easter time was the start of the new year, putting away the past history and moving into a new epoch. Families still can sense this great moment and often traditional celebrations of Easter are carried forward into the present day, with ancient symbols of rabbits, chicks, eggs, and certain cultural foods….often spring vegetables like asparagus and fresh green peas.
 
I hope you will find time in the next few days to create traditions with your own family that will enhance your Easter experience, sacred shrine creations, nature table additions, dyeing of eggs, and setting of the Easter Table, the Easter procession, the quiet sober Maundy Thursday night, with Passover traditions too, we can find our own sorrow over the human state of being and then the fantastic realization that the end is not….the end! 

Favorite recipes, home made eggs and treats, sweets like delicious fruit and nut studded Hot Cross Buns….what a wonderful way to greet the new season and celebrate our own victory as communal beings…

KID FAVORITE HOT CROSS BUNS

1 cup soy or animal milk, heated to blood warm
1 T. dried yeast, stirred in
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup brown sugar, organic
1 egg

Add yeast to warm milk, stir well and add syrup and sugar. Let sit until bubbly and foamy. Beat in 1 egg.
 
Add:
 
1 1/2 cups wheat flour
1/2 cup spelt flour
1 t. salt
1 t. cinnamon
handful of dried cranberries, another of diced chopped nuts, and another of organic chocolate chips

Stir well and then turn out onto floured board and add more flour as needed until the dough is well kneaded and smooth, stretchy and not too sticky.

Roll into an oiled bowl and cover in a warm place and let rise until doubled. Punch down and form into 9 rolls and place into an oiled baking pan. Let rise again, about 20 minutes.
 
Bake at 375 degrees for about 25 minutes until well browned.

Cool. Mix 1/2 cream cheese in a little baggie with a dollop of honey until blended. Use a zip lock baggie. Snip the corner of the baggie to make a small hole and then use the cream cheese to make x’s on top of each bun. Serve with scrambled or hard boiled eggs…..makes a great Easter Breakfast or Easter Tea treat!

Carrie here:  Always such inspiring words of wisdom.  For more Easter inspiration, please do see these back posts:

More From Mrs. Johnson regarding Easter: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/04/03/more-about-easter-in-the-waldorf-home/

For balancing the forty days of Lent with forty days after Easter: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/03/24/easter-and-its-forty-days-in-the-waldorf-home/ 

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/03/09/holy-week-and-easter-in-the-waldorf-home/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/04/26/may-festivals-in-the-waldorf-home-may-day-ascension-and-whitsun/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/03/03/celebrations-of-spring-in-the-waldorf-home/

If you are looking specifically ahead to Ascension:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/05/12/ascension-day-in-the-waldorf-home/

Today is Holy Saturday and we are preparing for Easter Vigil tonight, a most holy and beautiful time.  For the week of Easter, I will be providing meditations on parenting based on the collects found in The Book Of Common Prayer.  I hope you can join me for this special one-week series!  We will also be covering more chapter in our book, “Love And Anger:  The Parental Dilemma”.

Happy and Holy Easter to you, and Happy Passover to my Jewish friends,

Carrie

Buying Supplies For Your Waldorf Homeschool

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There has been an explosion, it seems, of web-based businesses catering to providing supplies (these are not curriculum companies) for  Waldorf-inspired families and Waldorf homeschoolers.  It can be hard to sort through and I wanted to provide some suggestions for my readers.  The suggestions below are by no means complete, and I have tried to provide a selection for you all to pick from, but by all means please leave your favorites in the comment box below.   

First of all, as you sit down and plan for your fall homeschooling experience, I encourage you to make a list of all the things you need. I highly suggest you have a look-through the supply list Mrs. Marsha Johnson, Waldorf teacher, has put together for each grade over in the FILES section of her Yahoo!Group (waldorfhomeeducators@yahoogroups.com).   

Do you need a table and chairs if you are lucky enough to have a dedicated homeschool space?  My favorite place to get tables and chairs is here:  http://www.communityplaythings.com/products/tables/multitables/ 

Do you need a blackboard/chalkboard?  I know some people make their own.    I got mine through a big box retailer on-line simply because it was the cheapest price I could find and they were not cheap, but perhaps someone has a favorite supplier for this item?  Weigh in the comment box and tell me if you made one or bought one somewhere.   If you can’t afford either route for a chalkboard, you can always draw on paper as well.  I know many families who do that!

Do you need chalk if you have a chalkboard?  Meredith over at www.waldorfreviews.com recommends Prang chalk.  You can read her whole post regarding chalkboard accessories here: http://www.waldorfreviews.com/archives/19  Meredith has many other good reviews!

How about Main Lesson books, painting supplies, modeling supplies?  Some things I order on-line and some things I buy using an educators’ card through Blick Art Supplies.

Here are a few general supply-oriented companies different Waldorf-inspired families have used:

Paper, Scissors, Stone:  http://waldorfsupplies.com/

Meadowsweet Naturals:  http://www.meadowsweetnaturals.com/

Cedar Ring Circle:  http://stores.cedarringcircle.com/StoreFront.bok  Becca is one of my readers!

One of my local suppliers who I know in person:  http://www.asmallgreenfootprint.com/

A Child’s Dream Come True also has some unique supplies:  http://www.achildsdream.com/  and Art Makes Sense:  http://art-makes-sense.com/

For Main Lesson Books in addition to the companies above that carry Main Lesson Books:  http://raand.com/

There are also many Etsy shops that have plant-dyed handwork supplies.  Ms.  Judy Forster is the handwork teacher for our my Waldorf homeschooling group and has an Etsy shop:   http://www.etsy.com/shop/mamajudes 

I also like many of the  creations from Rick and Jennifer Tan at Syrendell:  http://syrendell.blogspot.com/ .  Also, if you join Michelle Morton’s Green Tara Mamas group over at Yahoo!Groups, she sometimes runs special databases for things Waldorf families like. 

I know there are many more, and I am sorry if I missed YOU!   It is not my intent to exclude anyone, and it was hard to make a list, but I wanted to give some direction to families who are new to Waldorf homeschooling.  Please leave a link to where you like to order things below.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Finishing Up The School Year

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This is the time of year when many mothers in the Northern Hemisphere are finishing up school and starting to think about summer and planning for next year.  Perhaps you only have one or two blocks left before your school ends for the year! How exciting!

I would love to hear what everyone is working on right now and what you have left.  Did this school year go the way you wanted?

Sometimes at this point in the year mothers can be really hard on themselves.  Learning really occurs all the time, so even if you didn’t get to everything (and that happens in school as well!), it is okay.  Children in grades one through three are still pretty little, and many of the concepts touched on in these grades are worked with and deepened in fourth grade, and other concepts are really honed in grades five through eight.  There is time, and I think when we homeschool with Waldorf Education, we can be assured everything is in there in due time.

Are you already thinking about summer?  Summer vacation is seen as really, really important in Waldorf Education.  To read more about this and some ideas of what to focus on this summer, please see this popular post: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/06/03/a-plea-for-summer-vacation/

I encourage YOU, especially if you are a homeschooling parent, to use the summer to get your homeschool planning and household organizing done.  

In our family in the summer, pretty much I work on the house in the morning in small spurts between fun with the children, in the afternoon we go to our neighborhood pool and swim until we are ready to drop, and at night, at least for four nights a week I do homeschool lesson planning or my own work for a little bit before my husband and I spend time together.  We also plan “fun days” of going to the lake, or taking in a puppet show, or berry-picking and canning, but we also spend a good amount of time at home.  I tend to have my husband run the errands, or I do them around dinner time for an hour here or there.  I try to limit errand-running as much as possible!  That is my typical summer in a nutshell; I don’t know if that structure would be helpful to you, but in this summer I encourage you to think how you could get organized and prepared for  fall.  You will be so pleased how everything will be ready come fall!

Here is one of my favorite back posts about summer and tips to survive increased sibling fighting that sometimes occurs in  the summer months:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/07/21/summertime-bickering/

My official view of The July Doldrums (yes, I coined that phrase myself since it seems to happen in my world in July): https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/07/05/the-july-doldrums-again/

And last but not least, a project for parenting, just for you this summer:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/06/07/a-summer-parenting-project-for-you/

Many blessings,

Carrie

“Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma”–Chapter Two

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This chapter is entitled, “Everyday Madness” and opens by talking about the anger that can occur in parents over everyday, ordinary things such as children not brushing their teeth or cleaning their rooms, whining, dawdling, fighting with siblings and how guilty parents feel about feeling that way.

But why do parents feel so guilty about this?  From page 25:  “Having skills in the way we respond can make a difference and make us feel less at the mercy of our impulses.  Most parents think they should be able to handle the every day stuff automatically, but why should they think that, since no one ever taught them how?  On the contrary, I can imagine that most of us were raised in households where the dynamics were very similar to the ones described here, in which we were told repeatedly that the things we wanted were not worth making a fuss over.”

The author talks about her experiment regarding leaving a “tape recorder on during breakfast or dinner, to record what you say and how you say it.  When my children were younger, I tried it, and I got a terrible shock…”

What would your tone sound like to your children if you did that experiment in your household?  If it would not be what you would want to hear, how could you change this?

The authors talk about changing our parenting language, something I have written frequently about on this blog.  The follow-up to this, for older children, is to have them take responsibility for themselves.

The authors say on page 28:  “When, after these well-meaning reminders, our children fail to respond or continue to be forgetful anyway, we’re angry:  “I reminded you!  How could you forget?  Are you deaf?  Stupid?  Trying to drive me crazy?”  But often after we have vented our disgust and anger, we may then rush to bail them out, so that they won’t have to suffer or be unhappy for having been forgetful, irresponsible, or careless.  We want our children to become more responsible, but how often do we really give them the chance?  We forget that the best way children learn is by experiencing the consequences of their actions.”

Part of what we need to do as parents with our older children is to not blame or attack,  but to be gracious and kind without bailing the child out.  The child may be angry or wail or cry, but that is really okay.  All feelings are okay!  And children come to us with their own destinies, their own work, and sometimes they have to rise up and do this work without you getting in the way.

This chapter also points out scenarios where the parents were proactive and set the rule in their home – see the scenario on page 33 for an example.  If we don’t set down the rules, the children will not know.  You cannot get angry at your children for not knowing!  Rhythm is your most powerful ally in this regard.  Rhythm is strength and helps with discipline!

The authors also point out normal developmental stages – see page 34 – where between ages three and six, children do interrupt and whine, seven and eight year olds daydream and don’t do chores, etc.  The point is NOT that this is acceptable, but it is normal.  If you know what is developmentally appropriate, that can be the first point in planning what you will do when this behavior will inevitably occur. 

And most of dealing with normal developmental challenges is LESS WORDS, MORE DOING. Help your child move away from a sibling that is putting their feet in their face before they start hitting each other.  Hand your child a sponge to clean  up the milk he spilled.  State rules clearly and impartially:  “This is what happens” for older children; for younger children it should all be part of the daily rhythm.  Use verses, rhymes, singing and movement whilst you are singing to get the job done.  Humor can go a long way!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter if you have the book.

Many blessings,
Carrie

Crafting a Homeschool Rhythm To Work With Multiple Grades and Ages

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I think this is really important, because homeschooling is first and foremost about family.  All of the children have needs to be met, and the schedule cannot revolve just around the oldest child.  This emphasis on only the older child is a clear and inherent danger in coming up with a rhythm that works for the whole family.

So, what to do?  Here are some of my suggestions by age:

What does the baby need?  Can the baby stay in a sling or take a nap or have a snack during part of school?  Can you bring a high chair into the school room? Do school in the kitchen?   Can the older children take turns entertaining a sitting or mobile baby?  When will songs and nursery rhymes for the baby take place?  Do you have those songs and rhymes picked out for the baby and penciled in your school rhythm?  Use the same ones for a month, but do pick them out.  Are you going too much for the older ones when the baby just needs to be home?

What does the toddler need?  Toddlers are developing their gross motor skills and language.  They need to be outside to run around and just explore nature, and they also need time to be on your back in a sling and observe what is going on in the home. Can you homeschool outside in your back yard?  Can you homeschool in your garage or on a driveway?  What stories and nursery rhymes will you be using with your toddler each month?  Are they written in your schedule?  What songs will you be singing?  What practical work are you showing your toddler each day and how can your toddler help?  When will you head to the beach, the forest, the meadow?    Some families like to do  concentrated things with their older children when their toddlers sleep; I personally find myself tired by the middle of the day when my toddler naps and want the whole family to be resting.  Experiment and find what works best for you!

What does the three, four and five year old need?  In two short phrases:  WORK and MOVEMENT OUTSIDE.  When will they be outside riding their bike, their scooter, playing with a stick in the mud and the sandbox, swimming, picking berries, helping you in the house and cleaning? If you do a circle time, do you have that laid out for the month or the season? (Some families take one circle and build on it over a whole season; again this is family preference!) What story will you be doing with  your child each month?   Is your child of this age still napping?  If not, when is their quiet time and what will they do?  Do they need a spot at the table so they can draw when big brother or sister is drawing?  Where can they be when their interest quickly fades and they want to play? 

What does the six year old need?  Strong boundaries, a sense of purpose through work and contribution to the family and involvement with friends.  The things for the three,  four  and five year old still apply as well.  When will your six-year-old get out in nature? Can you homeschool outside?  What will they do inside whilst big brother or sister is working on something?  Do you have stories, songs, wet on wet paintings, longer craft projects, preparation for festivals picked out?  What will the baby and toddler do when this is happening?   Can your six year old ride a bike with no training wheels, swim, roller blade, roller skate, ice skate, ski, toss and catch a ball?  When will your six year old play with friends?

What do your grades aged children need?  Main lessons, perhaps lessons outside the home in what you feel is necessary, time and space to create and dream and play.  What will your younger children be doing during main lesson? If you have multiple children in the grades will you rotate through work (ie, math with child number one, help child number two, go back to child number one) or will you present separate main lessons?  Where are the breaks for movement and practical work?  Does the active precede the sitting down part?  How long are these lessons?  If you have children in grades 1-3, are you expecting way too much?  Are you requiring too much work? 

For the ten year old and up, what is their responsibility for independent work?  For helping the family through work in the home? 

Just a few thoughts….

Many blessings,

Carrie

Strong-Willed At Three and Four Years of Age

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This is a question that comes up frequently in my local groups and in my email inbox: what to do with children of three and a half or four who have very strong wills, where everything is a struggle?

One thing I find interesting is that this question typically comes from parents about their first-born child.  It also comes from parents who have had all one gender of children and now have a child of the other gender approaching three and a half or four.  Just an interesting side-note I have observed over the years.

First of all, take a deep breath and step back for a minute and evaluate.  I have often talked about the shift in parenting that occurs (or should occur) at this age, which can be very challenging to attached parents who felt they were essentially one with their very small child.  Suddenly, the child has their own ideas and their own will, and for perhaps one of the first times the parent really has to figure out how to set boundaries as the child begins to exert some will and push against the forms of the day and the rhythms you have crafted.  This can be a hard task!

It very well may feel as if  your child is pushing against everything and anything.  So please take out a piece of paper and answer these questions before you read the rest of this post. I think one of the essential questions is:  is it really and truly everything, or what is it specifically?  Is it transitions?  Coming in from outside?  Or eating?  Or clothing?  What is your rhythm like, and what are you doing to take care of yourself?  If you are not a single parent, is your partner or spouse stepping in to help as well?  Does that change up the energy in a good way?  How does your spouse or partner feel about your child’s behavior?    How is your environment structured so you have thought about things ahead of time and your child can’t get into things you don’t want him or her into when you are not right there supervising?

What are the boundaries, how are you guiding this child toward those boundaries and what happens if the child is not working within the boundaries?  A strong, strong rhythm and unhurried life is really key with the three and four year old.  Even a five and six year old will get completely out of character when their rhythm is off and the family is doing too many things and going too many places and being outside of the home too much.   Try this post:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/10/07/back-to-basics-how-to-do-gentle-discipline/  and this post for help:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/12/15/gentle-discipline-connection-plus-boundaries/

The second thing I want you to do is to write down what language you are using when you are talking or thinking about this child on your piece of paper.   Are these words that are making you feel loving and connected to your child, words that make you feel like you can set boundaries for this child and guide this child toward those boundaries or are they words where you are creating a battlefield where you are one side of the line and your child is on the other side?   Many of you long-time readers know I have a particular aversion to the term, “high needs child” for older children…You can read my small rant about that here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/05/parenting-the-high-needs-older-child/

But, perhaps for you to really take a hand in this situation, your language must change.  Here is a back post on that:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/05/23/changing-our-parenting-language/

Okay, now that you have some thoughts down on paper, let’s go on to some of the developmental hallmarks of three and a half or so….Three and a half is very, very little…I wrote a post about the three and a half year old awhile back and am including part of it for you here, take what resonates with you:

“AGE THREE: Three is very, very little. According to Waldorf parenting and pedagogy, the first three years are for the establishment for walking (which takes about two and a half years to be a very mature walker without needing the arms for balance, being able to run, etc); the development of speech and the development of thinking as first seen by use of the term “I”.

Typical developmental things about the three and a half -year-olds include (this is according to the Gesell Institute, not necessarily my personal opinion!):

  • Turbulent, troubled period of disequilibrium, the simplest event or occasion can elicit total rebellion; strong and secure gross motor abilities may turn more into stumbling, falling, at this age; new- found verbal ability such as “I’ll cut you in pieces!” and lots of whining
  • May refuse to do things a lot, or howl and scream, or say a lot of “I can’t” I won’t” kinds of things
  • Three and a half to four may be the height for the most “WHY?” “WHERE?” “WHAT?” kinds of questions
  • Demanding, bossy, turbulent, troubled but mainly due to emotional insecurity
  • May refuse to take part in daily routine – expect some pushing against what you do daily, and have some distraction plans at hand.

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS:  I think one important things, especially for parents where this child is the first-born or an only child, please make sure the expectations for this age are reasonable.  Many times parents whose three or four year old is the oldest child in the house are expecting an awful lot.  Here are some realistic expectations from a traditional physical therapy/occupational therapy perspective -a three-year-old may most likely be able to:

**At three and a half to age four, may use a spoon for liquids; may use a fork with some spilling; may refill his or her glass from a container that holds less than the glass does; can drink from a water fountain an adult turns on.
**Can distinguish between a bowel movement and urination; around three and a half may or may not go to the bathroom at regular intervals
**Can turn off water in bathroom when you ask; may be able to put toothpaste on toothbrush and wet the toothbrush; can put comb or brush in hair; can pull pants up; can get clothing out and put it on by around three and a half, although the average age for complete dressing is age 5. Can pull off shoes and unzip and unsnap clothing.
**Probably knows own name and names of siblings, may know if they or their family members are male or female.
**Can string large beads; roll clay or other modeling material into a snake shape, probably can match objects, cut paper with scissors, may know primary colors, may be able to roll clay into a ball.
**May be able to play a game with another person, such as rolling a ball back and forth; they can usually talk about a game that just finished and start a new game; can take turns in a game at least 25 percent of the time
**Can sit quietly for at least one minute; this moves up to five minutes at three and a half
**Can say please and thank you; request help when needed
**COMPLETES 10 PERCENT OF A TASK WITH ATTENTION AND REINFORCING BY AN ADULT; will start a task only when reminded at around three and a half and at that point may be able to complete 10 percent of the task with little input from an adult. Carrie’s note: Waldorf expectations and ways of working with a child’s will is often more in line with this than mainstream methods we see out there!
**May sing parts and phrases of familiar songs.
(These milestones came from the Hawaii Early Learning Profile for Children ages 3-6).

I think the main thing to remember is that the consciousness of the tiny three and a half year old is completely different than older children or adults. They do not mutter under their breath, make faces or say things you perceive to be rude to be disrespectful or defiant….

Some things that may help:

  • Sit down and make a list of animals and how they move, so you can pull out some creative animal games to “hop over here like a kangaroo” or other animal movements you will need to get something accomplished. Think about what appeals to your boy or girl with moving objects or occupations so you can round up blocks like a shepherd rounding up sheep (clean-up) and other tasks.
  • Think about how to structure your environment so less toys are immediately available without your help; this avoids much clean-up.
  • Think about setting up play scenarios; at three they are just learning how to start fantasy play and making believe and they may need your help to get started!
  • Expect some struggles around bedtime perhaps; think about how to shorten your bedtime routine and how you will handle things when they are not going well and everyone is just tired.
  • Think about less choices and less words all the way around for this age.
    There are many posts on this blog regarding how to stop talking and less choices.
  • Figure out how to be strong and carry the work and rhythms of the day even if your child does not participate!
  • Most of all, you have to be strong, peaceful and centered.  Breathe, give the child a moment before you jump in, do things WITH the small three and four year old and don’t have the expectation they will do things with only a verbal command.  Three and four year olds are really tiny; they need constant supervision and structure.
  • Double check nutrition, media, sleep and food allergies…All of these can contribute toward making behavior better or worse.  Many children whose parents have reported were “out of control” ended up being diagnosed with food allergies.  Media is another culprit, as is lack of sleep.  Double check, double check, double check.
  • Boundaries are so important; there are so many posts on boundaries and respect and authority in parenting on this blog.  Please go back to those and re-read and see where you are and where your spouse or partner is and where your child is.  That could be a key piece to the whole thing.

Many blessings,

Carrie

A Round-Up Of Blog Posts and Blogs To Enjoy

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Oh, I am so enjoying this:  a “craft-a-long” blog to go with the book “The Children’s Year”:  http://wwwthechildrensyearcraftalong.blogspot.com/ 

Here is a lovely blog post by Sarah Baldwin over at Bella Luna Toys regarding rhythm in the Waldorf Kindergarten:  http://blog.bellalunatoys.com/2011/waldorf-kindergarten.html#comments

Here is a post with beautiful pictures and words of wisdom from one of my very own readers and her experience with being mentored by a Waldorf Early Years  teacher:  http://bendingbirches2010.blogspot.com/2011/04/waldorf-nursery-observations.html

This article is by Elizabeth Foss, whom many of you know from her wonderful Serendipity website and her Kind Conversation network.  Here is an article from her about ending her school day with tea-time.  I love this and plan to incorporate it into our school day:  http://charlottemason.tripod.com/tea.html

And finally, Ann Voskamp’s “10 Points of Joyful Parenting”:  http://www.aholyexperience.com/10-points-of-joyful-parenting-printable/  I am sure many of you are familiar with Ann’s bestselling book!

As for me, I have been spending my nights reading about St. Benedict and slowly starting to homeschool plan for fall.  My oldest just took her standardized test for the year (required in my state), so we have a few blocks of school and feel relieved that is out of the way.

What are you engrossed  in recently?  I would love to hear from you in the comment box!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Homeschooling Children In Multiple Grades

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Ah, this is the million dollar question, isn’t it?  Waldorf Main Lessons are wonderful, but doesn’t the rub occur when you have MANY of those to do?  How does one get everything done and keep true to the spirit of Waldorf Education?

Here a few of my favorite tips:

  • Plan ahead, and remind yourself that unless you are creating things from scratch that the curriculum you bought will need to be tailored to your family, and that many times the authors of curriculum write it to be “very full.”  You may not be able to do everything that is in there, even if you had only one child!  So release that guilt!  This happens in almost every “kind” of homeschooling – for example, I have many Christian friends who use Sonlight (not Waldorf) …Sonlight is famous for having Instructor Guides with all these little boxes to check off and lots of material.  As a homeschooling mother, only can decide what “boxes” to check off in your homeschooling, and only you can free yourself from guilt if you don’t do everything in a certain curriculum.
  • Also remind yourself that sometimes in the home environment the lessons can really be on fire and go quickly, and the child is enthused and “gets” it all, and sometimes the child does not. Leave some breathing room for those times in your planning.  Extra days planned in your schedule here and there in case you need catch-up are important.
  • Waldorf homeschooling is not like a workbook that one opens up and just does lesson A, B, C, etc from beginning to end.  It is more like a range of  possible topics and artistic and academic skills for the age and development of the child.  So, don’t be afraid to pick and choose.
  • If you read Steiner, understand the seven year cycles, then you can tailor things faster and easier because you understand child development.  Waldorf homeschooling in a big family of five or more children will look different than school – and that’s okay!  Just knowing what speaks to the soul of each age will help you combine and tailor things though.
  • Things go “faster” at home than in a school setting.  For example, a main lesson for a first grader will most likely take under an hour on most days. 
  • Don’t forget the movement!  Lots of movement to start school, lots of movement before you actually put something on paper.  Form Drawing starts with walking forms, drawing them with your toe in the sandbox, all different ways…and then the writing.  The activity of writing always proceeds the reading.  Active math games and bean bag tossing and jumping rope and clapping games before math.    Movement can span multiple grades, with every child working on their own level.  Handwork, crafts, music  can also be places where everyone is working on these things at the same time either rotating turns if they need assistance or working together. 
  • Don’t forget the advantages of home – cooking and gardening, morning walks, days spent berry picking, going ice skating and roller skating, hiking.  These activities also promote learning and span multiple ages.  Practical skills, and having everyone in the homeschooling family is so important.  It cannot be just mom as the teacher on top of every household chores.  The children must work with you for the good of the family and mom’s sanity. Smile
  • Do have your homeschool space set up so your younger children can play and still be in sight, even if you  have to gate things off or have a rule that during school everyone stays on the first floor of a two-story house or whathave you.  Also, consider homeschooling outside so the younger children can practice moving and play. I think I did the vast majority of my oldest child’s first grade in the garage and driveway so my younger one at the time could practice riding a bike and scooter.  This year we will be in the backyard quite a bit with a sandbox and a play set and garden.  Thank goodness for chalkboards with wheels!
  • Your third graders and up can start to do some independent work.  You can throw in a load of laundry whilst they start on a math problem or copy something in a main lesson book.  Fourth graders and up should have something to do independently every week to practice that skill of working independently – it may be something small, but we start there and build up for later ages.
  • Your older children can help entertain toddlers and mobile babies whilst you are working with another child.
  • You can find lessons that span multiple ages, and put everyone in doing at least the same kind of main lesson at the same time – everyone is doing math, now everyone is doing language arts.
  • Draw your chalkboard pictures the night before.  Write out your spelling words on the board.  Put up what form you are doing the next day.  This makes life go so much more smoothly.
  • Don’t forget your toddlers and babies.  Put a few songs and  nursery rhymes each month on the homeschooling schedule and teach your older children these.
  • Constantly turn to prayer, to inner work, to personal development.  Some of the most important lessons of homeschooling are not to be found in main lesson books at all, but in the way the children treat each other, in how they respond to stress and when things are not going their way, in the common sense they display in situations.  Anchoring your children in faith, in something bigger than themselves, in morality, is the biggest part of  Waldorf  homeschooling.  In Waldorf homeschooling, care is taken in every subject to present “man” as an upright, moral human being.
  • Own your authority as the leader and teacher in your home; maintain your calm center through prayer and inner work, cultivate that when the children need this most. Working in the moment is an important part of teaching and life.  Can you adapt a bit on the fly if you need to go down a rabbit trail?  Can you reign it all back in  if it needs to be reigned in?

If you are Waldorf homeschooling children in multiple grades, please share your greatest tips for success in the comment box below!

Many blessings,

Carrie