“Warmth, Strength and Freedom” by Mary Kelly Sutton

This was a wonderful article by anthroposophic physician Mary Kelly Sutton.  I have permission to re-print it here from the owner of the Greentaramama group where I first saw it –  the list owner has a wonderful store to buy children’s woolens and silks by the way.  Here is the link to that store: http://www.greenmountainorganics.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=6
Thank you Michelle for this article and your store!
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WARMTH, STRENGTH, AND FREEDOM
There are times when I sound more like a grandmother than a doctor in
advising families how to be healthy. ‘Dress warmly!’ ‘Eat a good
breakfast!’ ‘Get to bed early!’ ‘Let your body fight its own colds!’
But each of this advisories is powerful, no matter how simple it
sounds.
WARMTH
Warmth is related to the element fire. All the other elements —
earth, air, water — are easily bounded. Warmth goes through
boundaries. This is no surprise when you think of the love (emotional
warmth/fire) you feel for your children. Nothing stops it. (That is
why you are reading this.)
Healthy human beings have a rhythmic body temperature of approximately
98.6, slightly lower in morning than evening. Cold is a stress for the
body. Touch your child’s fingers and toes — with your own warm hand.
(If your hand is cool/cold, first warm it up.) Then feel other parts:
the trunk, front and back, abdomen, forehead, chest. The fingers and
toes should be as warm as the warmest part of the body. If they are
not, the child is dealing with cold stress, and you can help him/her a
great deal by changing the clothing so that fingers and toes become as
warm as they should be. Shunting blood away from the extremities is a
survival mechanism in the body. It protects the vital organs (heart,
lungs, liver, kidneys).
Cold stress can make children overactive, in an effort to warm up.
Warm clothing allows them to settle down, join in group activity,
focus and learn.
In some children coldness interferes with normal weight gain. I have
seen one wiry 5-year-old in New Hampshire who gained two pounds in the
first week her mother put her in wool underwear.
Runny noses commonly are related to coldness. And coldness is a
significant factor in more important immune suppression in a very
significant way. ‘The skin is the proper place for disease to happen,’
states an old holistic medicine pearl. If the skin is cool, the battle
with a common germ cannot be waged on the skin. The blood has gone
into
the deeper organs, and with it, the battle is carried to deeper
organs. This is an important way that complications happen from
common illnesses, such as a cold or chicken pox. In medical school, I
first saw in my Internal Medicine textbook, that chickenpox
encephalitis commonly occurs when there are very few pox on the body.
The
inflammation does little damage on the skin, but can do a great deal
of damage in a deeper organ. Keeping the skin warm keeps the battle
with a germ where it is safe for the body. I have heard a German
pediatrician describe how he recommends to parents of children with
measles that the parent rub the calves with dry terry cloth until the
calves are pink. This over-warming action draws the circulation to the
surface, and pulls
the battle with the germ to a safe place, outward and downward, away
from vital organs.
This principle can be applied in daily life simply by dressing warmly,
and being attentive to the warmth of our children’s extremities. We
both prevent illnesses, and keep their course uncomplicated if they
occur, by having warm extremities.
Physical warmth is an early sense for the newborn baby, along with
smell, taste, and hearing. But the child does not sense temperature
accurately until about age 9. You are not surprised when a toddler
runs around the house naked, and older kids and adults are reaching
for shoes and sweaters. We have all seen this. In New Hampshire, the
kindergarteners rush into the lakes on Memorial Day, and the third
graders look at them like ‘what’s wrong with you!?’
So you, the parent, must decide what is the right clothing for the
young person you are responsible for. Don’t ASK the young child ‘what
do you want to wear?’ This question is appropriate at times for an
older child, but it is scary for a young child to be the one making a
decision in the presence of an adult. It is hard in our culture NOT to
ask our
children what they want, because we hear it so commonly. I remember
falling into this and asking my 5 yr old son what t-shirt he wanted,
and he looked at me and said ‘I don’t know. You’re the mommy!’ So
often our kids show us what we should have known. Be willing to BE the
Mommy or the Daddy. Make the decision about the clothes you feel are
right for the climate, and say with surety: ‘Here’s your undershirt
and top, your tights and skirt. Let’s get dressed. You’re set for a
wonderful day!’ Your authority is their security. Their strength is
modeled after yours, so give them a strong, insightful, kind authority
figure.
But what to wear, if hands and feet are cold? The rule I’ve used in
New Hampshire is to begin with is three layers on the top with one
tucked in, and two layers on the bottom. One of these should be like a
second skin, closely investing the body, not baggy. This means long
underwear, or tights, or at the very least an undershirt. If the child
is sweaty,
take off a layer. If the child is still cool to touch, change to a
warmer fabric. Natural fabrics breathe best: cotton, silk, and wool.
Down does not breathe, nor do synthetics generally, so body heat is
trapped if the person is overdressed. Cotton can be both cooling and
warming, and is good for hot countries and Arizona summers. Silk is
more warming, then wool-silk, and wool is warmest. A source for
children’s long underwear is: www.greenmountainorganics.com
A helpful image to use is that foxes and rabbits grow fur, thicker in
the winter than the summer. We didn’t — so we have to put on our fur
to be able to run around outside like foxes and rabbits in the winter.
Hats, gloves, sox are all part of the fur we didn’t grow. Clothed
well, we have new freedom to move outdoors. Long underwear in some
seasons
eliminates the need for bulky outerwear, and movement is less
restrained.
So you have the knowledge of WHAT to do, and are confident in your
authority as a parent being the best thing for them. Then life
happens. The child is simultaneously developing his will, so a
wonderful opportunity comes for the child to say ‘NO!!’ to any
parental statement, including clothes. This requires tact, cleverness,
determination —
every adult attribute in the book. Don’t rush into action. Wait,
watch, assess, and plan HOW to do this thing you know is good for your
kids. A young girl may need stylish (warm) tights or long johns that
you have seen ballerinas wear, because, after all, their leg muscles
dance more beautifully if they are warm. A fierce 4-year-old warrior
may need a swashbuckling (warm) pirate muscle shirt, leggings, and
sash, with a story of how to stand and walk like a pirate as they are
put on. A two year old may just need a chase around the room, a
friendly capture, and a lot of loving contact as he/she is poured into
warm layers. Some children will need to know you consider this so
important that favorite activities are actually dependent on dressing
correctly, or that some other consequence is incurred. And then, you
must stick to your word. Because if you don’t really stay home from
sledding because the long underwear couldn’t go on when you said it
must, then maybe you won’t really follow through on all the promises
of love you have made. The child’s mind is consistent even though it
is not fully conscious. It is better not to threaten a consequence
unless you are one hundred per cent ready to carry it out. Your word
is your word, whether it is spoken as lawgiver, or pledging love
forever.
There is no virtue to overdressing. July in southern Arizona is not
the time to insist on the 3-on-top and 2-on-the bottom. The way to
make the decision at any time is to feel the child’s fingers and toes,
rather than to abstractly apply a rule.
BREAKFAST
Eat protein generously at breakfast. (Breakfast like a king, lunch
like a prince, supper like a pauper, the saying goes — and it can be
changed to the other gender: queen, princess, bag lady.) Protein at
breakfast stabilizes the blood sugar for the whole day. (Lunch protein
cannot do the same job; the window of opportunity is past.) EVERYONE
has better co-ordination, endurance, moods, and ability to learn.
Options: eggs of any sort, cottage cheese blintzes, smoothies with
protein powder (preferably not soy), grilled cheese sandwiches,
cheeseburgers, chicken tenders, fish fillets.
(I had great success with my teenage boys telling them they would not
get a ride to school unless they ate breakfast. We lived 4 blocks from
school. They complained, they ate, I drove. As they got older and were
driving themselves, occasionally, they would wake up so late, they
would eat very little. I would just say ‘do the best you can,’ letting
them know what I think is important, but that I trust them. No rule
can substitute for human judgment, and older kids need some freedom to
vary from house rules and learn from life and how they feel; trust
your instinct and love for them in choosing an approach.)
REST AND RHYTHM
Machines are either on or off independent of environment usually,
while living beings have rhythms, gentle alternations of activity and
rest, breathing in and breathing out, that are fundamentally tied to
the Sun. Every Waldorf kindergarden teacher works very consciously to
provide focused activity, then free play or outdoors time. In this
way, the
child is carried through the day harmoniously, with the least
exhaustion, the least likelihood of overload or eventual illness. And
the greatest chance for unfolding his/her human potential creatively.
Our physical make-up is tied to the sun’s movement, light and dark.
The biorhythms of enzymes and hormones follow the diurnal (daily light
and dark) rhythm, even if we work night shift. Bigger rhythms of month
and year and lifetime are present, and more being discovered.
If we live in sync with the way our body is designed, we will have the
greatest health. For children, whose task is to grow and to learn,
this means regular waking, rest, and sleeping times, and regular
mealtimes. Like the gradual change of seasons brings gradual change of
light, we need not be rigid, but in general have a few anchors in the
day that are
constant. Most important are bedtime and breakfast time, in my
experience.
The hours before midnight are the most restorative. So for an adult,
eight hours sleep beginning at 9 pm is more valuable than eight hours
beginning at midnight. A child needs more sleep, in varying amounts at
different ages, and sometimes differing from one child to the next.
The younger the child, the earlier the bedtime. poem A well-slept
child
generally will awaken spontaneously and be happy. If the child is very
difficult to arouse or repeatedly grumpy, the bedtime should be nudged
earlier until a better morning experience is seen. In adolescence, the
cycle shifts later, and the average sleep need is nine hours and
fifteen minutes daily. Since high schools often start very early in
the
morning, a significant stress is unavoidably part of the school week
for adolescents.
Lavender oil as massage, or fragrance on bedclothing, or as warm bath
as part of bedtime ritual, is very helpful for those children who tend
to be alert at bedtime. The bedtime ritual is wonderful to begin with
very young children, as a habit of letting go develops, leading to
sound sleep, and being secure enough to sleep alone. The ritual can
include
bath, story, tuck-in, prayer, kiss with calm ‘sleep tight. love you.
see you in the morning.’ The young child’s ritualistic approach to
life is hierarchical by nature, with Mommy and Daddy all-powerful in
his/her young eyes. The natural order of the world at this age can
readily include God or Higher Power and Angels or Guardian spirits and
be of value to the child’s sense of order and security in the world.
Later, when the nine-year-change comes, and a child senses deeply his
separateness from his parents, the early images of God and higher
beings protecting and guiding his daily actions and sleep can be
reassuring in facing this first big realization of separateness.
A light supper, with little protein or completely vegetarian, helps
sleep come easily. Remember, we want to wake up with an appetite for
breakfast, the foundation meal of the day’s activities, so it’s best
not to overload at night. Time-honored warm milk is a fine
sleep-inducer. Carbohydrates are sleepy foods, while protein, fat,
salt, and caffeine
tend to wake us up.
Almost all children are born with some tendency to one-sidedness, and
our task as parents is to help them find balance. The rhythm of the
day shows whether it is hard for our youngster to settle down, or hard
to get up and move about, and we can help bring about comfort with
both sides of movement, etc.
Should a child have difficulty waking up in the morning, even after
enough hours of sleep, rosemary lotion in cool water is an
invigorating fragrance and can be applied to the face (forehead, then
cheeks) carefully with a damp cloth to bring alertness. A positive
statement about the day ahead is an important medicine in this
treatment: ‘good morning! what has that robin done outside your window
since yesterday? I have a wonderful breakfast ready for you! rise and
shine! what a wonderful day it is!’
THE COMMON COLD, THE USUAL CHILDHOOD ILLNESSES
Recognize acute illness as an exercise class for the immune system,
and treat in a non-suppressive way. It is not a sign of immune
breakdown, it is a chance for strengthening. The big three to help the
body do its best in fighting acute illness are: WARMTH, REST, and
CLEANSING. Add a few low potency homeopathic remedies and herbs, and
you can support the body in this important immune work, not simply
suppress symptoms. See
separate writing for detailed treatments. person as medicine
CHILD DEVELOPMENT
All of these advisories support VEGETATIVE functions, the unconscious
health-giving parts of a human being that are the bank account we draw
on for growth, learning, and later, our work in life. (This vegetative
bank account is also called the etheric forces in anthroposophic
medical terminology. As adults, the strength of our etheric body
manifests as our vitality, our ability to recover, to have energy, or
to endure.) A child’s job is to grow, and to learn things appropriate
to his/her age. With a strong foundation of warmth, nutrition, rest,
rhythm, immune exercise from ordinary acute illness if the body in its
wisdom allows it — the child’s optimal development proceeds, and a
strong physical
foundation is laid for the entire adult life. The vegetative functions
are sometimes characterized by the cow, who is mostly a metabolic
creature, chewing, making milk, sitting and walking and lying down. No
executive tendencies here, nor highly developed sense organs. A
masterful vegetative existence.
The other pole of the human being, opposite the vegetative, is the
CONSCIOUS pole. The parent (or teacher) does this work in the child’s
life, so the child does not have to draw on the bank account of
vegetative forces by making decisions too early. Judgment, analysis,
logic, decision-making are characterized by the far-seeing eagle,
whose highly developed sense capacity is combined with the cunning and
decisive movement of a predator, a majestic lord of the skies.
As parents of young children (1-7 yr old), you are protectors of the
cow-nature, the vegetative foundation, which your child will use
throughout his/her life. As enormous physical growth takes place, the
child uses limbs and explores movement thoroughly. The child is
imitative, copying the way Daddy sits with the newspaper, or insisting
Mommy sit at only her right place at the table, like a learned ritual
the child has mastered. This physical life is accompanied by a mental
connection with images, not reason. Thus the love of bedtime stories,
preferably told, not read, and repeated till every beloved detail is
memorized. Also you find the young child’s questions more
satisfactorily met by a picture than an analytic explanation. Some
questions can even be better avoided, if they are asking for adult
information. But you can always comment ‘What a wonderful mind you
have! You ask such wonderful questions! Let’s get your teddy bear next
to you for nap/lunch.’ The child has made contact, you have responded
lovingly and appropriately.
You see that spark, the flashes of individuality that is waiting to
show itself fully. Your wisdom holds the child’s day steady, rhythmic,
fed and bedded, building the strength of the vegetative side of your
eagle-to-be. It requires trust and patience to let the child unfold in
his/her own time, and not call on adolescent or adult qualities too
early. This time of life can be boring for parents, who have full
adult capacities and thrive on change and excitement, not routine.
Your sacrifice is commendable. Parenting is among the hardest jobs
there are, and each stage of childhood gives parents an opportunity
for a
different form of selflessness.
The heart of childhood is 7-14 yr old, when a respect for worthy
authority is natural, and feeling opens for beauty itself in the world
around. More than vegetative support is required now. The lion’s heart
of courage and strength must be met, with stories of the same, and
exposure to real artistic expression so the beginning of the moral
nature is fed with the beauty and strength it is seeking. This is
often the age of the least illness, and the most harmonious time of
childhood.
But change comes, and the young Philadelphia lawyer casts a disgusted
glance at the parents who have brought him/her thus far — usually
some time around 8th grade. The eagle’s predatory power is evident. No
more contented baby learning movement and the physical world, nor
sweet-natured heartfelt child growing before your eyes. The intellect
is unfolding, and the first object of critical analysis is often the
parents. It’s good timing that powers of judgment and analysis begin
to unfold just as puberty begins. Let the intellect’s sharp powers
master the hormones that rage. From 14-21, the individuality is more
pronounced, decision making should be shared and guided in preparation
for independence. Privacy is important. Learning results of choices,
such as wise consequences in the home, helps put control of behavior
inside the individual.
The wise ‘governance’ of a child goes in stages somewhat like human
history has evolved. The young child is benefited by a benign despot,
the loving parental authority; in the middle years, the child natively
respects authority, but has a developing sense of contributing his/her
wants and needs though not ready for independent decision making;
democracy is built into the adolescent, and the parent gives the
structure of what is or isn’t tolerated by virtue of a structure of
consequences.
The stages of development are given at their usual ages, but there
will be early hints of what is to come and echoes of prior times
varying with each individual. Behaviors I described may be different
due to the family dynamic, or the particular learning path the
individual child carries as part of his/her destiny, or our culture.
The culture we live in pushes adult information into even the very
young child’s life — computers and IQ testing are part of some
preschool programs. Adult decisions are often part of the oldest or
the only child’s daily diet of conversation. Sexualized clothing and
media surround children of every age, and give parents a challenge to
minimize this early maturation influence. Early intellectualizing and
early sexual information pulls the young child out of the vegetative
physical mode that is home for him or her, and spends the child’s
etheric forces on coping and understanding rather than physical
growth.
****************************************
As nuclear families rear children alone in today’s culture,
grandmothers are hard to come by. The pediatrician and family doctor
assume the role that aunts and grandmothers had in helping with
illness and childrearing. But the swap medicalizes common events, and
we take a further step down the pharmaceutical-answer-for-everything
road.
I hope this work can reawaken faith in the capacity of the human body,
enlarged with the scientific understanding that shows why this faith
is reasonable, reconnect us with the healing gifts of nature as they
are enhanced with human insight and become remedies,
and show through the caring for our children, the presence and power
of the human spirit.
Mary Kelley Sutton

__._,_.___

Coming to Waldorf Late?

Here are some back posts to assist you:

Why Waldorf?:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/06/wonderful-waldorf/

Rhythm: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/03/13/baby-steps-to-waldorf-rhythm/

Rhythm and Sleep: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/13/a-waldorf-inspired-view-of-sleep/  and here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/14/part-two-of-a-waldorf-inspired-view-of-sleep/

 🙂  General Waldorf Guilt: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/03/12/hopeless-with-waldorf/

Grades One Through Three: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/04/the-wonder-years-waldorf-homeschooling-grades-one-through-three/

Suggestions for if you are worried it is too late to come to Waldorfhttps://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/14/is-it-too-late/

Multiple Children and Waldorfhttps://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/05/homeschooling-multiple-children-with-waldorf/

General Waldorf, sadly Lovey has taken down her blog so the link in this post doesn’t work, but still a good post I think:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/04/the-heart-of-waldorf-homeschooling/

At least that is a start; you can also try the tags section for specific grades, rhythm, festivals and more.

Thanks for reading,

Carrie

This Week in our December Waldorf Homeschool

This is the quick snapshot peek into our recent days with our Second Grader, Kindergartner and seven-week-old:

On Monday, we got up and went for a walk.  My almost five year old can now ride a two-wheeled bike all by herself and is excited about trying this out each and every day!  We came home to jump rope to jumping rhymes and snack.  Then I took out my flute and we did a little circle for Advent tailored to my Kindergartner and I told the story, “The White Bird”.  Then we launched into my second grader’s Main Lesson, which really was a combination of Math from November that we are a bit behind on with a new baby in the house and Language Arts for December. The Math Lesson we did was review of some times tables through movement, and then we did the story and freehand drawing for the sixes times table from Dorothy Harrer’s  math lessons book.  This lesson is about a King and his six sons  living in a six-sided kingdom and the drawing progresses from a hexagon to a six-pointed star to finding the triangles within the hexagon-star.  Each of the colors used in this drawing relates back to certain soul qualities and was exceptionally lovely (This lesson is copyrighted or I would share more, but it was beautiful!).  Then my second grader copied a poem about Winter into her Poetry Main Lesson Book after we stood up and recited it together.  After that, we started our Saints block with a story about Saint Nicholas.  Then our German tutor arrived for some much-needed help and we made plans for Advent crafts and baking as part of our German lessons.  During my oldest child’s Main Lesson, my younger one was eating more snacks, playing with a wooden dollhouse and then I gave her butcher block paper and markers to draw roads for her wooden mini- rollie car.  After our German tutor left, we ate lunch, had some quiet time and did some Advent crafting! 

On Tuesday, we jumped rope to begin and we have also been drawing with our feet once a week for my oldest (although my Kindergartner likes to watch this!)  We did our Kindergarten things and then we pursued more math by reviewing all times tables we have covered so far (with special emphasis of those 6’s from yesterday and the relationship between the products of the 3’s times table and the products of the 6’s times table) with jumping and stomping, snapping and clapping, bean bag tossing.  We also went back and reviewed time and copied a poem in our Main Lesson Book for remembering seconds, minutes, hours, days. My oldest then had another poem to copy in her Poetry Main Lesson Book about Winter and we re-visited the story of Saint Nicholas with some vocabulary/spelling words that I wrote on the board.  Then we made cookie dough and put it in the refrigerator and played indoors and outdoors the rest of the day!  We also made a no-cook salt dough recipe, but it was not nearly as nice as the cooked kind.  I had a little story to go with the making of the salt dough.

On Wednesday, we started with Kindergarten things again and making a peace dove for our Christmas tree with a star on the forehead just like White Bird in the story.  We went into math, reviewing place value that we already covered with the help of Donna Simmons’ squirrels and moving into adding two and three digit numbers with carrying (my daughter’s request to practice, so we did several blackboards full of problems I made up of the top pf my head) and ended by introducing the 11 times table.  Then my oldest copied the 6’s times table into her Main Lesson Book  (Not the best three day rhythm for math at this point, but playing catch-up has kind of thrown me off!).  We re-visited the story of Saint Nicholas and drew a picture with a summary in the Main Lesson Book and reviewed all the spelling/vocabulary words from the previous day.  Then our Spanish tutor arrived for some reading.  After  lunch I read a chapter from the new Gnome book by Sieglinde de Francesca called “A Donsy of Gnomes”. (http://www.teachwonderment.wahmweb.com/store/ – I promise I will do a review of this book at some point on this blog!)  The first story is about Pebble, who gathers bits of fallen stars and grows them into crystals as a crystal gardener.  It was pouring down rain, and I happened to have one of those “grow your own crystal” kits in my closet so we pulled that out so we could be crystal gardeners too!   After that we cut out cookies from the cookie dough we made yesterday in star shapes and I told the story of “The Smallest Star” from Seasons of Joy’s Advent Ebook.  The rest of the day was for playing and building forts and giant train tracks all over!

And somewhere in all this was not only the sweetest little baby 🙂 but also two needy dogs and the household chores. 

Just a quick peek at part of our week,

Carrie

Cultivating Boundaries: The Inner Work of Advent

Like so many of my posts, they just come to me in a spurt of doing something else and I am drawn to sit down and write.  What came to me today is this notion of working on boundaries, and today I would like to talk about boundaries for ourselves.

I see so many mothers who seem to feel almost defeated by parenting and homeschooling, or often feel apologetic for “not doing more”.  I think we need to set a boundary on our own negative thoughts!  Why we are kinder to strangers than to ourselves??

When a child is learning to walk or ride a bike, we provide support and encouragement, not a bunch of comments that will tear that child down.  Let’s vow to give ourselves that same kind of  support and encouragement as we learn and grow.

I have spoken with mothers who literally cannot find one nice thing to say about themselves.  If this is you, ask the people who know you best what nice things they would say about you, your best traits and your best talents.  Write it down if you have to!  Affirm yourself, and have confidence!  You are a wonderful human being and a wonderful parent!  Your child picked you to be their parent for a reason!

Let us also learn to set boundaries with those who are negative toward us.  People who quiz our children on what they are learning in homeschool, people who have only negative things to say about the way we do things or our opinions need the boundaries that we provide them!

Stop expecting perfection out of yourself, your family and your homeschooling.  No one is perfect, yet how often do we act as if the world is coming to an end when things don’t go as we planned?  We all do the best we can do at that moment with the information we have at the time.

And do not compare! It is very easy to look at more experienced homeschooling families who have older children and think they must do everything perfectly.  Every family and every homeschool has its own strengths and weaknesses; just like teachers in a public or private school have their own strengths and weaknesses.  Be content that your children are right where they should be!

Cultivate a few good, trustworthy friends; the kind of friends who will tell you if you are doing something that really does need a second opinion!  But most of all, learn to trust yourself.  Pray and meditate, learn to trust what God is telling you and learn to trust your own gut responses.  How often we negate our own responses to things instead of being confident in our own intuition!

Let your quiet confidence lead you!

Carrie

Cultivating Rhythm: The Inner Work of Advent

I hear from many mothers of small children who are concerned about their ability to homeschool because their lives are “chaotic” without much rhythm.  They wonder, can I homeschool if I am hopelessly disorganized and lacking in rhythm?

My first answer to this is to be easy with yourself.  If you have three or four small children under the age of 5, know that your life will look so much different than when those same children are much older.  Be easy, forgive yourself.  Sometimes it really does deserve a medal just to get through the day with everyone fed!

However, my second answer to this is yes, think how one can cultivate order and rhythm out of chaos.  Please don’t just throw up your hands and give up and not try.    Children by their nature are often irregular and need your help to obtain some kind of rhythm to their days and weeks.  And yes, Waldorf homeschooling in the grades will certainly be much more successful if you have basic rhythms for rest, food, outside time in place!

In Waldorf, rhythm is extremely important. Steiner recognized 12 senses (if you need a remedial on this, please hit the “12 senses” tag in the tag box).  We look for development for the lower four of these senses during the first seven year cycle in particular and rhythm is important in developing three out of these four senses – The Sense of Life, The Sense of Movement, and The Sense of Balance.   The Sense of Life is the Sense of Well-Being, of feeling “all is well with the world”, a sense of wonder and awe, an inner flexibility.   On The Association for A Healing Education website, Nettie Fabrie, who I believe is a Waldorf Remedial teacher on the West Coast, was quoted as saying that children who do not have this Sense of Life/Sense of Well-Being often have feelings of being unsafe, of fear and of guilt, sometimes with heightened addictive tendencies.  The Sense of Life/Well-Being has direct correlation and development to the Sense of Thought later on.  The Sense of Movement provides qualities of industry, purpose, healthy purposeful movements, connectedness to the body and knowing where one’s space is and ends. I am a physical therapist, and in one sense we would call this the proprioceptive system, but it also is so much more! The lack of  Sense of Movement can manifest itself in children as failure to pick up nonverbal or societal subtleties, depression and inwardness, inattentiveness and fidgety movements.  The Sense of Movement is intimately connected to language later on.   The Sense of Balance provides a feeling of inner balance, an ability to move between tension and rest, a sense of appropriateness, the ability to calm oneself, the ability to give focused attention.  An obvious lack of development of this sense would include impulsivity, inability to slow down, inner agitation.  The sense is connected to the Sense of Hearing later on.  Obviously, this is a glance at this topic, but something to consider and think about.   A sense of rhythm is one thing that is very important to developing all three of the four of these lower senses! 

In practical terms, the foundations we lay are the foundations that our children may keep later on and come back to, even if they are rejected at points as the child grows.  I liken this to this small example:  I had one child who dealt with sleeping in a sling a lot with no set nap schedule, and one child who had a consistent nap schedule.  Guess which child took naps longest?  The one where it was part of the routine.   I am not saying rhythm is the only reason why this was so, but rhythm certainly can be your helpmate.

Rhythm can provide you with a balance.  If you never take time to care for yourself, always going from one thing to the next until you fall over at night, how will your children learn balance?  They are watching and imitating you!  Remember, rhythm is not about a Schedule with Checkboxes.  But it is about a general order, a general flow and that balance of rest and energy, tension and ease.

Here are some open-ended questions regarding rhythm:

  • Do you have rhythms set around mealtimes and rest and bed times?
  • What is your rhythm for  your own inner work, your own work you may do for pay, and other roles you may play besides Wife and Mother?
  • What kind of rhythm do you have for spending time with your partner? 
  • Do you have a general rhythm for taking care of your own health?
  • What is your rhythm for homeschooling?
  • What is the rhythm for balancing being home and being outside of your home?  Are you always going, going, going?  Do you find it difficult to say no to outside things?
  • Do you have seasonal rhythms?  What festivals speak to you –why and why not?

Perhaps as part of your work during this Advent, you can meditate on the concept of rhythm and what that means to you, what it means to your children, and how what rhythm means to you and your children may change as your children age.

Many blessings and peace on this wonderful Advent night,

Carrie

Cultivating Gratitude: The Inner Work Of Advent

There is a lot of buzz these days around the word gratitude.  Gratitude journals, counting things to be thankful for, making lists of things we are grateful for before meals, an Attitude of Gratitude,  have all been popularized.

Gratitude is an important piece of this time of year, and a work for exploring the inner soul of Advent.  As a Christian at this time of year, I have gratitude for  a Creator who  experienced  life as a mere man.  He is always accessible and ever-present within me, as He has walked this path and experienced the heart ache, the challenges, the temptation, the joy and the sadness of being human.  Such openness and intimacy in that relationship.

John F. Kennedy reportedly said this:  “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

How often do we fail to live up to that highest challenge?  How often do we complain to our girlfriends about what our husbands don’t do?  About the challenging spots our children are in developmentally?  About the never-ending chores of maintaining a home?  The never-ending planning for homeschooling and the actual hours spent in lessons, sometimes with children who seem far from appreciative?

How can we live in gratitude?  If we can model this, then our children will surely imitate what is in our hearts.  Our home will have a different tone as we do this. 

To me the key is this:  if I can radiate a positive attitude within  myself  no matter what the circumstance, then I am expressing gratitude.

A mother within Melisa Nielsen’s “Be A Beacon” program had a wonderful idea regarding stopping negativity. She said one thing to consider would be to wear a bracelet, rubber band, etc on your wrist and if you had a negative thought, just take it off and switch it to the other wrist.  No judging, just move the bracelet. The goal, of course, would be to see how many minutes, hours or days one could keep the bracelet on the original wrist.

Back to JJFK’s statement!  This week, can you show your family how much you appreciate them?  Even better if you can do this with joyous action, not only  words.  Show your spouse how much you love and respect them.   Show your children your respect and love for them.  Enjoy cleaning your home and making it nice for your family!  By taking care of the people, pets and things that we love, we are showing our gratitude that they are in our lives.

Is there someone that helps bring back the spark within you after it has been extinguished?  Your spouse, for certain, but perhaps also a close friend?  Does that person know that?  It is never to late to tell them! 

With your children, can you start to cultivate gratitude in them?  An excellent start is by modeling a positive attitude and taking care of your family and  environment in a joyful manner.  Then, can you reach out to help others in your neighborhood, within your circle of friends or within your community?  This helps to build gratitude and appreciate for what gifts we have and can use to help others.  Every day, bit by bit, year by year, we build our children’s hearts.  Let us be thankful for the opportunity!

Many blessings,

Carrie

PS – Please see Melisa Nielsen’s excellent comment below!  It is not too late to join her program if you are interested!!

The First Week Of Advent

The day before the first Sunday in Advent, I set up two Nativity scenes: one on the Nature Table in our schoolroom, and one “adult” nativity scene in a different room. I am very lucky in that my husband’s grandmother made our Nativity scenes in her ceramic shop a long time ago.  She died right before our first child was born, and it gives me such pleasure to look at her beautiful handwork.

The Nativity Scene in the schoolroom is on a light blue silk and so far consists of Mary and Joseph on the right flanked by some very large conch shells  with a path of seashells laid out before them leading to the manger.    This Nativity Scene is actually a child’s Nativity with all chubby-faced children and fits in well with our schoolroom.  The shells are keeping in line with our first week of Advent that celebrates the mineral kingdom preparing to receive their Creator and King.

“The first light of Advent is the light of stone-

Stones that live in crystals, seashells and bone.” – attributed to Steiner

Over the week we hope to add some crystals to our Nature Table Nativity Scene.

The adult Nativity Scene is set up on a dark blue felt and is set up with everything with the exception of the infant Jesus.  Our Advent wreath is also in this area as well.  Little by little we will be decorating for Christmas.

Our plans for this week include daily readings from the Bible, making two kinds of cookies, starting a green and red construction paper chain with Bible verses on it to mark each day until Christmas,  and several Advent  crafts revolving around Saint Nicholas.  We are reading Jakob Streit’s “Saint Nicholas” each night in preparation for Saint Nicholas Day and also reading a story from “A Light In The Lantern” each night as well.

Our biggest plan for the week entails surprising our neighbors with Christmas cookies on Saint Nicholas Eve.  We are looking forward to that!

I hope you have a wonderful week as well,

Carrie

“I Am New To Waldorf: How Can I Find Out More?”

This comes up quite a bit.  Honestly, I think the best place to start is Steiner himself and then delve into other people’s works.  Here are my suggestions: 

Introductory Works To Waldorf Education:

  • The Kingdom of Childhood  – Steiner
  • The Education of The Child  – Steiner
  • The Spirit of The Waldorf School  – Steiner
  • Soul Economy  – Steiner (Maybe more an intermediate level, but probably my favorite in many ways).
  • These books can be bought here:  http://www.waldorfbooks.com/edu/steiner_waldorf.htm

For Children Under The Age of 7:   one of the Following:

  • You Are Your Child’s First Teacher (check your library for this title) (Dancy Baldwin)
  • Heaven on Earth (Oppenheimer)
  • Beyond the Rainbow Bridge (Patterson and Bradley)

For the Big Overall Picture Of Waldorf Education – Otherwise Known As “The Kindergarten Years Are Very Short”:

  • The Waldorf Parenting Handbook (Cusick)
  • Waldorf Education:  A Family Guide (Fenner and Rivers)
  • School As A Journey (Finser)
  • The Christopherus Waldorf Curriculum Overview for Homeschoolers (Simmons)

 I hope that is helpful to some of you.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Using Main Lesson Dot Com

Some mothers have been asking me how I personally use www.mainlesson.com

I use it to find seasonal stories to tell on  baking and gardening day, and I have also found several Saint stories on there I have used as well for my Second Grader.

Here is an example of what I used off of this site during November for my Second Grader and Kindergartener:

  • “Saint Martin” for my Second Grader on Martinmas
  • “The Story of the First Corn” on Gardening Day before Thanksgiving
  • “Saint Gerasimus and the Lion” for my Second Grader for a story during Handwork

In December, I will be using:

  • “How the Fir Tree Became the Christmas Tree” for whilst cookies are baking
  • “A Christmas Legend” as a Gardening Story
  • “Mrs. Santa Claus” on Baking Day
  • A story about Holly and Saint Nicholas on Saint Nicholas Day
  • “Silvercap, King of the Frost Fairies” on Gardening Day

Hope that helps some of you see the potential use of this site,

Carrie

Favorite Books For Gentle Discipline

Specifically Regarding Anger:

  • “When Anger Hurts Your Kids” by Mckay, Fanning, Paleg and Landis
  • “love and anger the parental dilemma” by Nancy Samalin with Catherine Whitney

Under Age 9:

  • WALDORF:  “You Are Your Child’s First Teacher” by Rahima Baldwin Dancy
  • WALDORF:  “Beyond the Rainbow Bridge
  • WALDORF:  “Heaven On Earth” by Sharifa Oppenheimer, although I cannot recommend the references to time-out.  Those of you who read this blog know I oppose time-out.  Many parents do love this book though!
  • WALDORF:  “You’re Not The Boss of Me!  Understanding the Six/Seven Year Transformation” available through www.waldorfbooks.org
  • WALDORF:  Donna Simmons’ Audio Downloads  on “The Changing Face Of Discipline” and also “Talking Pictorially and Living Actively with Your Young Child” – can be found here: http://www.christopherushomeschool.org/bookstore-for-waldorf-homeschooling/audio-downloads.html
  • WALDORF“The Challenge of The Will” by Margret Meyerkort and Rudi Lissau
  • DEVELOPMENTAL:  For understanding realistic expectations for each age, I still like The Gesell Institute books “Your One-Year-Old” “Your Two-Year-Old” etc.  They are available at many libraries and are also easily picked up used.
  • DEVELOPMENTAL/LOVING GUIDANCE:  “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler”  by Norma Bumgarner
  • ATTACHMENT PARENTING:  “Attached At The Heart”  by Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker (one chapter of discipline)
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  La Leche League’s “Adventures in Gentle Discipline” –this also has a part about time out as mentioned by parents, which I oppose.    The voices of many mothers are throughout this book, so you will have to pick through what resonates with you.  Particularly if you are also a Waldorf family, the “talk talk talk” of some of the families with their tiny children  may not resonate with you!  There is however, a good section as to what “gentle discipline” is and isn’t in the beginning of the book.  A good place to start if you are new to gentle discipline and equate it in your head with children having no boundaries (which is NOT what it is!)
  • ATTACHMENT PARENTING:  “Connection Parenting”  by Pam Leo
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline”  by Becky Bailey
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Playful Parenting” by Lawrence Cohen
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Discipline Without Distress” by Judy Arnall – you can search through this blog for chapter summaries of this book, not all strategies in this book are compatible with a Waldorf approach but overall a helpful book
  • And may I ever so humbly recommend this blog?:)

Over Age 9:

  • WALDORF:  Specific to the Nine-Year-Old Change:  Donna Simmons’s Audio Downloads on Third Grade and also “The Changing Face of Discipline for ages 9 and up”
  • WALDORF:  Specific to the Nine-Year-Old Change:  “Encountering the Self” by Hermann Koepke
  • GENERAL PARENTING:  “Hold On to Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Kids Are Worth It!” by Barbara Coloroso.  Has some good examples of how to “hold the space” in it. 
  •  GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Loving Your Child Is Not Enough:  Positive Discipline That Works” by Nancy Samalin with Martha Moraghan Jablow
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Raising Your Spirited Child” and “Kids, Parents and Power Struggles” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka  (I put these here because the strategies essentially involve emotion coaching and I feel that is better for an older child).

 

Over Age 12:

  • WALDORF:  Specific to the 12- Year -Old Change:  Hermann Koepke’s “On the Threshold of Adolescence”
  • WALDORF:  Also, several of Steiner’s works are now available for education and observation of the adolescent:   http://www.waldorfbooks.com/edu/adolescence.htm
  • WALDORF:  “Between Form and Freedom” by Betty Staley
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Kids Are Worth It!”  by Barbara Coloroso
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Kids, Parents and Power Struggles” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and “Raising Your Spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Peaceful Parents, Peaceful Kids” by Naomi Drew
  • COMMUNCICATION:  “NonViolent Communication”  by Marshall Rosenberg (and to me, once your child hits 15 or so, why not attend a NVC Group together and practice?)
  • COMMUNICATION:  “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk” and “Liberated Parents, Liberated Children:  Your Guide To A Happier Family” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

 

Let me be clear, one can certainly read the gentle discipline books for the older children when one’s child is younger and gleam things from them, but some of  the approaches are best saved for when your child is older!

And finally, some gentle books for the mother:

CHRISTIAN:  “The Power of A Positive Mother” by Karol Ladd

GENERAL/BUDDHIST: “Everyday Blessings:  The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting” by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn

WALDORF/GENERAL:  “Mitten Strings for God:  Reflections For Mothers In A Hurry” by Katrina Kenison

Blessings,

Carrie