5 Things You Can Learn From Veteran Homeschoolers For Your Pandemic Homeschooling

Posted on by
Reply

I truly hope that the millions of people forced into helping their children learn at home right now don’t think this is normal homeschooling. It’s so far from it! Homeschoolers are generally out in the community for learning and to be with each other. Some homeschoolers do choose to learn on line, but most of us create lesson plans or follow something so that we are homeschooling for up to 4 hours a day and on to the rest of our lives after that. Some of us do work around homeschooling, but this is something that is planned, and we aren’t thrown into it. So needless to say, pandemic homeschooling can be so stressful!

However, I do think there are five things you can learn from your veteran homeschooling friends (besides how to hide in the closet with the secret chocolate stash). Hopefully these will help you as now most states are finishing out the school year at home, many with shelter in place orders:

  1. Get dressed. Yes, you can homeschool in your pajamas and we frequently do in the winter, but trying to set a new rhythm for learning at home sometimes can seem more serious and worthy if everyone is up and dressed.
  2. Figure out how to get movement into your school day. Many of the schools are on-line at this point, including some with live classes running all day. That’s a lot of sitting and can be a lot of eye strain! So starting the day with a walk, taking breaks between classes, moving a laptop or tablet from room to room for different classes or even outside can all be helpful. You can also plan movement breaks after school. Some people have large yards or land, which is great, but some of us are sheltered in apartments or have a small yard. You can try Cosmic Kids Yoga online, lead a game of tag or sardines or a dance party or a pillow fight.
  3. Plan your work day around when your children need you most. If you have small children, they are going to need more help than a high schooler. You can adjust your work day by working earlier or later, switching with your partner if you have a partner in the home, or just planning work and school increments. Veteran homeschoolers are often working with multiple children coming at them with varying questions and projects along with all the household chores. Folding laundry and doing math problems together, for example, is common. Veteran homeschoolers are used to interruptions and rolling with it, and you can do that with all household things but not so easy with online meetings and online work – so try to plan the best you can in increments to alternate meetings/work and schoolwork and helping your children. Increments are okay, things will get done!
  4. Put your children in charge of doing things around the house. Everything cannot be on one adult trying to work and direct learning from home. Everyone needs to pitch in for laundry, meals, and nourishing care of the home. Try a crockpot or instapot to cut down on some of the meal preparation time.
  5. Pull out toys and things to do so your children find something to do when they are waiting for you to check their schoolwork or to help them. Learning how to wait is something that traditionally homeschooled children have to learn as well. You can rotate small boxes of toys and pull thing out so something new and fresh is out every few days. Invest in some art supplies, crafts, puzzles, yard toys, or things for inside your apartment for movement as it will help save your sanity in the long run.

Last of all, have as much fun as you can. These times are hard and uncertain, but it’s a gift to be with our children and safe if we are able (I know not everyone is able, and some parents come home to being on quarantine due to their high risk jobs). Give yourself some slack, and know you are doing the very best you can do right now in this moment.

Many blessings,
Carrie

Preparing For Shelter In Place With Children: What Do We Need?

Posted on by
8

In my mind, I divide supplies into three general categories: emergency disaster supplies; food/shelter in place supplies; supplies for living with children and being sane (LOL).  Here is my list, which is by no means inclusive, but  if you feel shelter in place might be coming to your city or state next, it could be a jumping off point for your own family.  Thank you to Annie @thechildisthecurriculum for reviewing my list prior to publication!

General Emergency/Disaster Supplies (staying at home, not talking about bug out bags and sheltering in the woods or car):

  • Every source says water – but I don’t feel our water will be shut off for a shelter in place order.  Decide for yourself.
  • Flashlights and batteries, camping lanterns, emergency radio – again, decide for yourself if you think your power may be shut off.
  • Cell phones and chargers
  • First Aid Supplies
  • Prescription Medicines and Supplements, allergy medicines if you are allergy prone because it is also allergy season
  • Medicine for tackling cold and flu in whatever form that looks like for your family – no ibuprofen or elderberry for #covid19 ; we typically have herbal, homeopathic, and natural alternatives on hand along with acetaminophin if needed, zinc lozenges, vitamin C, etc.
  • Thermometer – we never seem to have one so this is on my list
  • Medications for pets
  • Supplies for any females menstruating
  • Diapers if your children don’t use cloth

Food/Other General Shelter in Place Supplies

  • Produce that you can freeze for smoothies later
  • Citrus fruits generally can stay stable for awhile and are helpful for the immune system
  • Garlic, onion, ginger root, turmeric root – also stay stable for awhile
  • You can freeze butter and milk; shelf stable milk like almond, coconut, etc are wonderful – you can obviously also buy nuts yourselves and make your own
  • Bags of flour, sugar,  etc for bread making – don’t forget yeast although there are flatbreads you can make; baking soda, baking powder
  • Rice and beans
  • Tomato Sauce, pasta, other pantry meals you would actually eat
  • Bone broth
  • Cans of tuna or other meat
  • Nut butters
  • Pet food
  • Microgreen growing and seeds to grow produce in pots is most welcome
  • Toilet paper or family cloth
  • Paper towels or cloth
  • Cleaning supplies including laundry detergent, dishwashing soap or you can make your own to save money
  • Hand soap and soap; castille soap can last a long time if you get the gallon sized!
  • Vinegar has many uses and good to have on hand
  • Salt, spices

Supplies for Children:

  • Games
  • Art Supplies
  • Deck of Cards
  • If you have a yard, there are many things you could get to play with in the yard – goal nets, volleyball, whiffleball, cones
  • Doorway gym for littles or doorway swing
  • Household items for science experiments you can find on line
  • If they were in school and now have classes online, appropriate devices and/or textbooks that are required

Please add to this list and share!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Dealing With #allthefeelings During Social Distancing/Shelter in Place

Posted on by
3

In our last blog post, I tackled some super practical ideas and encouragement for being thrust into working and learning at home (you can see that blog post here), but one thing I want to talk about today is dealing with #allthefeelings amidst social distancing and quarantine.

This is a true and real thing.  We all have different personalities and temperaments, our children and ourselves included, and we all react to stressors differently.  Some children will be almost ecstatic to be at home with their dogs or cats and  activities cancelled, and some children will be absolutely bewildered and falling apart with the change in routine and rhythm.  Some parents will feel rather elated at not having to go places and will feel comfortable enough jumping between work calls and helping with lessons set forth from the school, and some parents really are feeling the complete stress of trying to handle it all.  Some parents are worried so much about the financial end of #covid19 which is so real, that it overshadows trying to work and do school.

Self care is a real need right now.   This really isn’t  just business as usual just transferred to the home.  It’s so important to include self-care as a necessity during this time, because if you can set good priorities and boundaries, you can be a calming force in your home when your child might be feeling overwhelmed.  Self-care looks like different things to different people.  Maybe it’s a nap, maybe it’s taking a walk outside if you are allowed to do that or sitting on your apartment balacony. Maybe it is a warm bath or exercising or soothing music.  Whatever that is , build it into your schedule.

Help your children. Smaller children love to hear stories, so telling stories about little animals that had to stay home  but the fun family time they had can be helpful and soothing.  Be calming and help them find stability in a rhythm that you create.  Too much time to just “hang out” often completely backfires into grumpy children and younger teens.  Having any semblance of a rhythm and balance will help normalcy.

But most of all, just listen. Listen to your children’s fears, listen to their disappointment.  This is such a huge change for everyone.  You don’t need to have the answers!  Things like, “This is hard” or “I wonder that too” or “That is disappointing” is validating along with the love language that fills your child’s cup can be very helpful.    Because it is hard, it is scary, it is disappointing to miss things.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Suddenly Working and Learning At Home During #covid19? Easy Tips to Help!

Posted on by
3

This is an unprecedented time. I was raised by my grandparents who survived the Great Depression and World War II, and I keep thinking if they were here they would have brillant things to say about how to handle the sudden closures, curfews, and quarantines of #covid19.  It’s a hard situation for working parents, for the school system and the teachers working hard to provide online lessons on platforms they may not be familar with, for the online learning platforms that probably never thought entire countries would be logging on at one time, and for parents still trying to work or take care of elderly parents or both on top of all of this during this time.

First of all, I want to be clear.  This is learning at home, but in a different way than many homeschoolers traditionally do it.  The families I have spoken with in my area who have children in public school now and who have homeschooled in the past have commented that the volume of work is high  and here at least it is  mainly on line.  Probably the first advice seasoned homeschoolers would give is not to do “school at home” but this kind of is what is  mandated by the school district for many families as the lessons and classes are online. If we pulled children out of the public school environment, we would take the time to deschool.  Homeschoolers don’t remain isolated in their homes.  And so that’s okay that this is different! It’s different for a reason!  So just breathe; you are not imagining things; it is a lot of work.  Sometimes just hearing that can make you feel a little less crazy – what you are perceiving is true.  It’s a lot, and the fact that it’s a new normal that happened very quickly makes it difficult.

However, we have to move forward into the new normal – baby steps.  I have spoken with parents who are completely worried that their children will be behind and not move to the next grade because they still have to work and maybe even leave the house to work, therefore there really is no one available to help. I know some parents I have talked to said school has taken them all day like 8-4:30 yesterday when they finally stopped, so I think communicating with your child’s teacher can be really helpful – Again, I am sure everyone is learning what the workload can be at these days at home and it’s a learning curve.  The teachers want your children to be successful! Please, please keep communicating with your child’s teachers and the school staff.  Again, I  know they want your children to be successful, and they are learning about the amount of work for home too.  Just breathe. Things are going to continue to evolve.

Expectations and framework are the most important keys to holding the space in a successful way.  Many families aren’t used to being together for long periods AND having to really get things done.  So the expectations for school and work hours need to be set.  When can children expect you to be there right with them helping them? Is there anything they can do by themselves?   When can they expect you to check their work?  What should they be doing when you are on a call?    When can they interrupt you and when can they not?  What happens if they are wrestling with their brother on the floor during your call or when they are supposed to be doing their work?  When are their breaks? If you only have one device and three children, when is each child’s turn?  It is really helpful to have the expectations written down clearly and posted up somewhere so you can just refer to that chart when things are not going well.

For example, younger children will need more of a steady rhythm and most likely more support throughout the day, especially for certain subjects. So, hopefully you know a day ahead of time what is due, if the class is online at a specific time or more self-paced work – because if you know that, you can make a schedule around that and coincide it with your work schedule if you know where your child might need more help or if you can just check after working for half an hour. Homeschoolers in general often do school during unconventional hours, so if it is more self-paced, I wouldn’t be afraid to work after work hours on the subjects that need more hand holding if that is possible with the school and the teacher.

The framework that holds all of this is important.  A rhythm that includes walks, movement, set meal times, and  breaks are really important.  Healthy snacks and water being available throughout school is also important and helps many children. Staring at a screen for long periods is hard on children’s eyes, so providing those built in breaks are important. Some children will do better trying to do online things if they are sitting on a yoga ball and getting more sensory input or a disc on their chair.

The other thing that learning at home entails is taking nurturing care of the home.  Children should be helping with laundry, meals, the pets.  It is okay if you are folding laundry during a school lesson!  It is fine to do school at the kitchen table while chopping food for dinner.  Homeschoolers multitask like this all the time.  Also please plan some fun at night together – after dinner walks outside or a lovely game night.

Some parents have asked about troubleshooting problems.  So, for example, if you have children who are fighting during school time, sometimes you can separate children if they are really bothering each other. Also, you can learn how to pace yourself and be available – it’s hard to do math with everyone at once if the age spread is wide or one child really outpaces another or if everyone is vying for your attention with questions about different subjects. You may need to seat them around a table and answer their questions in order. Sometimes older children can help younger children;  for example my high school senior is a big help with my freshman’s math.

I also usually have things out like puzzles, science kits, and art supplies for younger children when it is not their turn to be worked with. They need the direction to do something not destructive during those times of not being held in a rhythm whether its due to your work or you working with another child.

I hope some of this is helpful and applicable to your situation.   I will be running a live call to help some employees at my husband’s work troubleshoot, so if you also have questions I am happy to answer here or to try to get a call together for those interested.

This is hard, and again, quite unprecedented.  I am wishing strong self-care for everyone trying to hold the space for children right now in the middle of being stressed out!   I keep thinking that perhaps the only good thing to come out of this may be the realization of need for more funding for the schools, more appreciation for the roles that schools play for food and shelter and support for children, the importance of health care and public health initiatives,  perhaps the importance of society learning once again that families can learn to work together to reach goals.  It’s a large task and feels overwhelming right now, but I think these might be the lessons to come out of this.  And perhaps the need for society to slow down in general!

Many blessings, would love to hear your thoughts,

Carrie

 

Thriving During Challenging Times

Posted on by
9

My oldest child was born right before 9/11 and now will be graduating high school during #covid19.  One thing I have thought of  is the anxiety  I had surrounding those early days of breastfeeding as I  watched too many hours of television news, waiting to see if any survivors would be pulled from underneath the rubble of the Twin Towers in my homestate.  I see some folks feeling the same way about this time and age, only perhaps doing it through social media instead of television. Times such as these can lead us to feel helpless, anxious, isolated, depressed.

You are not alone.

If you are struggling to adjust to a new normal, you are not alone.

If you aren’t used to being home and it seems really difficult, I promise it will get easier.

If you now have to juggle being at your job more hours on top of finding a new home life, hopefully it will feel more at ease soon.

I think we could be in for a long haul.  If places have been doing social distancing, depending upon the state, the uptick in cases will hit two weeks from now, plus the time after that to see who needs to be hospitalized to recover.  So, I think this time of distancing may be longer than originally hoped or planned for, which can feel overwhelming.

My favorite ways to thrive during these times of uncertainty….

Get grounded.  We aren’t having church at our place of worship, but I can still have my own little home church daily.  I can still use  apps for meditation, and I can still do it outside where I feel most connected to nature.

Form a rhythm for your family that includes outside time , rest and sleep. I think turning off social media and finding soothing and connecting things to do can be so helpful.

Keep the living space ordered – ordered an outside space can really bring an inner calm.

Have warming foods that are nutritionally supportive.  Eating healthy supports the body.

Include music making as a family, handwork, and creative projects along with puzzles and games to be together.

Love to you all,

Carrie

 

 

March

Posted on by
2

March is already upon us, with its fluctuating weather and promise of flowers and spring to come! March lives in my head as this beautiful, peaceful month of new foliage peeking out along with little spring flowers.   A month of wind and gardens to be planted.  A month of sunshine tossed with splattering rain and a little wind…but a good month full of shining new possibilities just as spring is beginning to emerge!

This month we are celebrating:

  • Lent
  • March 1st- The Feast of St. David
  • March 19th- Spring
  • March 25th – The Feast of the Annuciation, which we will celebrate at church
  • March 30th- The Feast of St. Innocent of Alaska

What I am loving right now:

  • Tulips
  • Sunny skies peeking through
  • The promise of spring break coming!
  • Great friends and coffee dates
  • Learning new things
  • Creating art

Homeschooling –

Homeschooling is going strong!  Our oldest is in the home stretch of senior year as we finish up microeconomics at home and head towards graduation.  We should have a college decisision soon!  Our middle child is at a wonderful hybrid high school, and our youngest is still fully immersed in fourth grade at home.  It’s an exciting time with many changes ahead!

Parenting – 

I find March can be an incredible month to re-read some of our favorite parenting books!  Some of my personal favorites are:

  • The 5 Love Languages of Children:  The Secret to Loving Children Effectively – Gary Chapman
  • Playful Parenting -Lawrence Cohen
  • Simplicity Parenting – Kim John Payne
  • Mitten Strings for God:  Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry – Katrina Kenison

Please leave a comment and share your favorite parenting books!

How is your March?

Blessings,
carrie

Launching Into Life

Posted on by
5

I am Christian, and today is the first day of Lent.  Many people are familiar with the custom of receiving ashes on this day, Ash Wednesday.  It is a day where we hear the refrain, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

But Ash Wednesday is more than that, it is a promise of light coming to shine out of darkness.  It is a promise of joy to come.  It is a promise of things that we cannot see, but that will move us and change us for the better forever.

I find this season of waiting during the last semester of senior year much like this.  Senioritis, slogging through that last bit of school, waiting for college acceptances, can all feel a little uninspiring or like a very long path without a lot of variation in the days.  But there is promise and joy to come.

Our oldest has an amazing brightness ahead of her, and we are thrilled for her new journey and adventures.  But that hasn’t blinded me to the gamut that mothers feel around this time with their seniors because sometimes it can feel dark or at the very least like a gray path that no one else is taking in the rush of the “lasts” of senior year.

If your child is going on to trade school or the military, I see you.

If your child is in the throes of addiction and trying to get healthy, I see you.

If the bad choices and lack of responsibility of your teenager have been difficult this year, I see you.

If you are worried that your child is socially immature or easily swayed by peers and now headed away from home, I see you.

If you are worried because your child is fighting anxiety, depression or anything else, I see you.

If you feel like you are losing your best friend and you aren’t sure what you are doing after this because you have put so much into parenting, I see you.  Graduation is a change for parents too.

I see you all and I love you.  Change is inevitable; some seasons are easier than others.  Children do grow into adults that also have responsibility and choices to make in how they live their lives and we cannot do that for them but that transition between their responsibility and how much to step in can be a blurry line at times.

May we all look forward to the promise of spring, the promise of renewal, the promise of good days to come.

Many blessings on this Ash Wednesday,
Carrie

Observing Lent

Posted on by
9

This time of year in the Northern Hemisphere can bring to mind eating cleansing greens such as nettles, dandelion, leeks, chevril and fasting.  It can also bring to mind spring cleaning.  For those observing Lent, which runs from Ash Wednesday through the Thursday before Easter,  this season can also make one think of:

  • Stillness
  • Focus
  • Promise
  • Transformation
  • Self-Reflection

I think this can be tricky with children, especially small children as much of the true Lenten work can be a  time of true adult inner growth and spiritual work.  However, I do think there are ways to observe Lent as adults and to include the entire family.

My church and I think of Lent in three parts, with a few ideas for each area gathered from my spiritual advisor and myself:

Self-Reflection, Repentance

  • Keeping a daily journal of thoughts and feelings
  • Praying
  • Hiking in Nature (yes, this may seem an odd one but what better place to feel connected to the world and to connected to onself for reflection than being out in nature?)
  • Schedule a meeting with your spiritual advisor

How to observe with children – setting a Lenten mood can be as easy as watching the sun rise or set every day, or observing the same tree every day at a particular time, or hiking and seeing the wonder in the world, make a Lenten calendar

Reading and Meditating on Spiritual Matters:

  • I will be using Saying Yes to Life as a daily meditation
  • Read a poem a day, create poems
  • Re-read a profound children’s book such as Chronicles of Narnia, The Hobbit, Wrinkle in Time
  • Create music and art

How to observe with children:  Attend church together, read together, start a gratitude jar for Lent, share music and art creations

Prayer, Fasting, Self-Denial

  • Turn your screens off on Sunday
  • Get off social media for Lent
  • Create a prayer list for those you don’t know and those you do
  • Skip a meal a day

How to Observe With Children – sit for one to five minutes in silence, create a ritual of praying for others, do secret acts of kindness, writing a thank you a day or a week to someone special, creating a true day of rest for the family with lots of family games and family time

More ideas from past posts regarding Lent:

2019 Lent: Pilgrimage of the Soul

2018: What I Want My Children to Learn During Lent

2018: The Wonder of A Simple Lent

2014: Celebrating Lent and Holy Week With Children

2013: Favorite Books For Lent

2011 Lenten Ideas

I would love to hear your amazing ideas for Lent!

Blessings,
Carrie

 

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles

Posted on by
2

I love Chapter 14 of this book because it is about balancing boundaries and independence, which is something I think as parents we are always riding the line between, no matter what the age of our children.

Part of boundaries and setting limits, particularly for toddlers and onward could be to offer two small choices (either one acceptable), follow through on the choices (I can hold you if you sit quietly or I can put you down), and then be able to not be afraid of the child’s protest, outburst, anger, or sadness. We follow up with the ability to try again.  I like what Mary Sheedy Kurcinka says on page 245: ” When you say yes, you give her a sense of autonomy, a chest-pumping pride of acheivement, a glowing sense of capablity.  When you say no, you are teaching her when and how to stop herself.”

The challenge, of course, is to get the balance right – so many parents say no to each and every thing until the child doubts his or her own capablity, and so many parents never say no to anything at all, meaning the child never learns how to stop him or herself.  It is much harder for older teens and young adults to figure out how to stop themselves and give themselves limits if this was never ever modeled or taught earlier.

Finding that balance can be individual for each child – age, circumstance, but also temperament,  developmental age and maturity, along with  your family’s values. We all want our children to be capable, so sometimes it bothers parents that in order for this to happen we have to model our best decision making for our children, and yes, gradually  helping our child learn to control him or herself.  We teach and we guide.

Manners and safety become good places to start with boundaries and then increasing independence.  Manners are actually important, because it is a sign of respect for other people, and because we all live together. Safety is something  we can’t negotiate on and must set boundaries. Safe doesn’t mean smothering, however, especially as our child grows toward independence and being on their own.  We support our children when they are young and help them move toward the point where we provide guidance.  This is possiblity no where as true than in the older teen years.   Our boundaries are guided by our family values.  The author gives the example of the Olympic ski-jumping champions on page 252.  She writes, ” I have to admit I’d have stopped them from jumping off the roof onto their mattresses even if they’d wanted to.  Today, my kids are not champion ski jumpers.  Theirs are.”

Sometimes when children are younger, what comes up is, “Well, so and so can do this. Their family does this.” That is the point though! Ultimately, not all families have the same rules or the same emphasis on things like work, play, adventure, etc.  We need to look at the child in front of us and figure out how to not only meet that child’s needs and temperament, but how to do that within our family value system.  Sometimes family mission statements are awesome for honing in on that – if you would like to see a back post about that, see Creating A Family Mission Statement

We need to respect our children’s no answers, but sometimes older children need a nudge.  The author points out on page 261 that helping to support a child through sometimes fearful sometimes requires nudging and that nudging is not pushing.  Whether it is learning to ride a bike, potty training, driving a care – sometimes children need a nudge.  It involves talking to your child about what is bothering them about the situation, and seeing what you can do to help support through that.  We also need to be careful to recognize that children may be doing things, just not the way we would do them and that is okay.

What did you all think of this chapter?  There aren’t too many more chapters left in the book and then we will be on to our next book!

Blessings,

Carrie

Monsoon Weather

Posted on by
5

I had a dear friend the other day liken her year to being a “monsoon year.”  I can relate to that – some years are like that, I have found and I really love that analogy of how just sometimes its overwhelming.

Some monsoon years our partners stand with us and help us find the sunshine in the monsoon.  But,  sometimes it is just enough to have  a partner stand with us in the monsoon and know that honestly, there is no sunshine coming right now.

Sometimes a person helps us steer the boat in the monsoon and all we can do is just try to hang on through it, exhausted and tired.

Sometimes people jump out of the boat while we are in the monsoon, leaving us alone to come out through the trials and tribulations,  but stronger on the other side.

Monsoon years can be hard.

They can be terrible, and feel never-ending.

They can be overwhelming even if they are not wholly terrible – sort of the “I am dancing as fast as I can” spot.

But I can tell you the one thing about monsoon years –

You come out different than  you were.

You mature and gain some wisdom and some empathy for yourself and others, if you let yourself.

If you feel yourself growing bitter just because life has been unfair (it often is),  you have to do the work, pull yourself up, because it’s probably time.

If someone left you in your time of need, know that there will be other people.  Wonderful people.  Know that love is there and around and on its way to you.  Know also, that in long term relationships, marriages, partnerships, and parenting, rocky points happen.  It’s fairly inevitable.  The question is what you choose to do with it.

If you are having a monsoon year, I am sending you love. It’s hard, but it will end.  It will get better and you are doing a great job with where you are right now in this moment.

Blessings,

Carrie