Loving Yourself

I see so many mothers striving to set the tone for their families; mothers who are really working to create a family life that will nurture their children even if it means hard work and facing emotional growth on their part.  It is heart-warming and exciting to see mothers who are doing that!

I also see so many mothers who want to strive but don’t seem to have any idea how to take the bull by the horns and be the authority for their family.  For whatever reason, the idea of being the person who sets the tone in their home for their family is scary, or met with fear instead of joy.

I think the root of this may lie in that these mothers do not think they are worthy of being an Authentic Leader in their home.  I have a few words for you today, just for you.

To My Precious Striving Friend,

You know, you are worthy of setting the tone for your spouse/partner and your children.  It doesn’t matter if you didn’t have the best childhood, and have no memories of home-cooked meals or nightly routines and rhythms.  It doesn’t matter at all if you can find the will within yourself to rise up and to want to learn how to create a nurturing home life for your family.

The truth is, this process will nurture you.  It will nurture your family, and it will nurture the children in the neighborhood who come over to play with your children, it will nurture all those who come into your house.  Your house is more than a physical space, but it has an ambience, a feeling, and a  tone to it that you set and nurture every day by having a vision and what you do to feed the beauty, truth and goodness that lives in your home.

You are worthy of having this.  You love your family, and you are being drawn to this idea of being an Authentic Leader in your home for a purpose and a reason.  You, this very day, are helping to raise your grandchildren by the way you love and treat your children.  You are extending your values and beliefs through the generations to come.

You feel confused as to how to take on this role?  Don’t be afraid.  Authority is  not a bad thing; only misuse and abuse of power is…Authority is about making the right decisions at the right time for the children in the family who are not yet ready to do it for themselves.  They need all the lessons you have learn; you have experience in love and warmth to share.   No one will ever love your children more than you!

You don’t know where to start in practical terms?  Start with yourself.  Parents and homeschooling parents are not more patient or better than anyone else, but we have to be more persistent in working on our own areas of challenge.  Work on your courage, your patience, your warmth…pick one area and make a plan!  Read sacred texts, find inspiring verses to keep you on track, study, meditate, pray. 

Create warmth through the beauty in your home, through the truth and goodness you show your children, your partner, yourself!  Ask yourself, is this good, is this true, is this worthy, is this pure?  If it is not, what are you doing?  You deserve to be surrounded by these things.  Rise up and claim it!

To My Precious Striving Friend, you can do this!  Be an Authentic Leader in your home, do what is right!  It is not about perfection but the process of striving.  Overcome your own inertia, your own doubts, your own fears and make a plan to start somewhere.  The journey begins with the one step, and if you stumble, get back up and keep going.  Your family is counting on you.

Live big!

Love,

Carrie

Homeschooling With A Calm And Quiet Heart

I think the single most important thing one can cultivate  in homeschooling (and in parenting) is a calm and quiet heart.  It is easy as a parent new to homeschooling to have a vision of rosy-cheeked children running to your side to love learning, but the reality is that some days will be fantastic and some days will be less than stellar.  Some days your children will love homeschooling, and some days all the children will be crying that they don’t want to do school, that they hate school (which is very easy to take personally when you are the teacher and have slaved away all summer in order to create lessons!) or  your child will be crying about the math, drawing, reading or knitting that is “just too hard.”

If you have a strong conviction that this is the right path and you can be calm and quiet, then you will feel peaceful even in the midst of the worst days.  Your calm and your peacefulness will carry your children during these days and will enable you to be the wall your child needs to bounce off of when something is hard and they need to persist in finishing a task.

You may asking how one maintains a calm and quiet heart; I have some suggestions.

  • Do your own inner work as to why you think homeschooling is right for your family and surround yourself with positive people who will support you. 
  • One of my best suggestions is to start your day with prayer, meditation and inner work.  Bless the beginning of your school day together.  Ask your Beloved Creator to bless you and guide you as you work to parent and educate your children. 
  • Talk less.  If your child is melting down over reading or math, or your children are yelling about not wanting to do school, one of the worst things you can do is start a back and forth dialogue with your child or children whilst they are completely screaming and upset.  Be calm, be quiet, be the authority and wait a few minutes.
  • By the same token, though, part of experience in homeschooling means you know when to take a break, when to take the day off and go hiking, and also know when to push through and buckle down. Children do have to rise up and cultivate their will and finish tasks, but the manner and timing in which we approach this is part of our own development as a teacher.
  • Cultivate a strong rhythm.  Children in the grades may very well be resistant to doing school if your rhythm is changing every day.  Sometimes life necessitates this due to pregnancy, illness or other circumstances, but if you are in a stable place and all over just because you are lacking in will in developing rhythm, then this should be a priority for your coming school year.  And part of cultivating rhythm and getting things done is to be home.  Schedule things in the afternoon when school is done.  Put in time to have the family work together to do the things that will keep the house running smoothly. 
  • Plan ahead; get organized. If your home runs relatively smoothly and your school year is planned out and you have the resources you need then you be in a place to bring things to your children out of a position of preparedness.

Many blessings,

Carrie

A Primer For Waldorf Homeschooling Success Part Two

One thing I hear a lot from mothers is essentially what to do all day with this child?  What can I do to entertain this child – this child is bored.  Or,  I hear, how do I fit all this household work into the day on top of homeschooling, being a wife, being a mother.

The answer is that children need to see work, real work done with your real hands, from birth onward.  And then your children need to work to have a sense of purpose.  And then your children need to help you because you cannot do it all.

For homeschooling mothers, I highly suggest you look carefully at such things as house cleaning, laundry, meal planning/cooking/shopping.

House Cleaning – There actually have been quite a few back post on house cleaning on this blog, I am sure if you use the search engine they will come up.

  • Step One to house cleaning is getting rid of things and de-cluttering things so every thing you own can have a place of its own. 
  • Step Two is to not put every thing you own out and to feel okay with that.  You may have many children’s books for your child who is under the age of seven, but that child only needs four to six books out per season.  Your child only needs ten to  fourteen outfits out per season.  Pare down and then rotate.
  • Step Three is to take tasks and break them down. For example, many of you know I have a little eighteen month old right now.  I wanted him to start partaking in work.  So, after meals, my middle child clears the plates off the table, my oldest daughter gathers the silverware and then supervises the littlest one dropping each piece of silverware into a bucket of soapy warm water to soak whilst the rest of the dishes are being rinsed or washed.  Break it down so your children can be involved and help contribute to the family. 

Laundry – Most homeschooling families tell me they do best if they do laundry almost every day: put a load in the morning after breakfast and switch it at a break and fold it before lunch. If days are skipped, families feel as if they are being buried under laundry. Again, involve the children.  You can have certain items collected (ie, napkins used at dinner, for example) and hand washed and hung on a line to dry and other items you wash in a more traditional manner.  It just depends upon how much time you have.

Also, perhaps think about where your laundry area is located; we have a small house and my school room is in what should be a dining room between the kitchen and laundry room.  Where should your school room space be in order for you to effectively be the captain of the ship in your home?

Meal Planning/Cooking/Grocery Shopping – Having a meal plan is exceedingly important; cooking should involve all children prior to meals.  Crock pots are exceptionally handy.  Many homeschool mothers like to grocery shop alone, but grocery shopping can also  be a time of comparison shopping, weighing and estimating and other mathematical treats if you plan it out.  So, think about what is right for you, and that may vary each week.

You may be noticing a theme of planning here.  I think there is also one other theme so obvious here that it is easy to overlook: one must be home in order for the laundry to be done, the meals cooked, things cleaned.  Be careful the number of days you plan out of your house each week!  Does your child need to take every lesson, every class, participate in every homeschool sport or event when they are seven, eight, or even nine?  If you do everything, what will be left for the teen years? Think ahead and plan!

Next post – homeschooling and parenting with a calm and quiet heart.

Many blessings,

Carrie

A Primer For Waldorf Homeschooling Success

Now is the time of year to go over some quick tips for Waldorf homeschooling success.  I do this every year, and it always revitalizes my commitment to homeschooling using Waldorf pedagogy. 

Success lies in  reminding ourselves why we do what we do, and how we can plan and organize to make homeschooling life successful.  I believe homeschooling, especially homeschooling multiple children in multiple grades, can require and demand a large degree of organization to go smoothly

One suggestion I have is to re-visit the benefits of a Waldorf Education AND homeschooling.  Waldorf Education is an education that addresses the development of the child right where that child is.  It is an education that really provides for an almost Renaissance experience of well-roundedness, that respects the unfolding of development and abilities.  It is academically rigorous and progressive.  It makes art the vehicle for teaching and enlivens every subject.  If you need a further pep talk regarding this subject, I highly recommend you try reading Rudolf Steiner’s “A Modern Art of Education” for parents with children in the grades.  If your children are under seven, how about reading “Kingdom of Childhood”?

Why are you committed to homeschooling?  Homeschooling is first and foremost about family.  What is helping you keep your commitment to homeschool and what is hindering it all?  Head back and read the posts on this blog from the book “Hold On To Your Kids;  Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers” to inspire you again!

I think one thing to really focus on with homeschooling is to realize that we may SAY we are homeschooling because we want to put family first, but then if we treat every day in an angry, complaining, whining, “this is so difficult” kind of way, we are defeating the primary goal of homeschooling.   Just defeating the beauty of the whole thing. There will always be bad days when we homeschool, just like when you worked every day was not the perfect day, but we have to keep striving and moving forward.

What we need to fix this is an active life of personal development and prayer and meditation. 

What are you doing for your personal development as a parent?  What are you doing to work on your weaker or more challenging areas of being a parent?  May I humbly suggest this ever popular series on this blog: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/09/17/20-days-to-being-a-more-mindful-mother/

I recently started to keep a little journal.  I am writing down every single thing that I find irritating or upsetting during the day.  I had three things today that upset me.  (I know some of you are laughing right now because you may feel as if your list would have a hundred things on it!  You could still do this though – it may help whittle down what is major and what is really only minor).    I plan to do this for forty days, and pray and meditate during this time so I can meet the things that personally bother me (that probably wouldn’t bother other people at all) with a gentle spirit, a positive attitude, a closed mouth and an open heart. If you approach things with a hardness of heart sometimes, perhaps something like this would work for you as well. 

The other thing I think is very important is to understand where your child is developmentally.  Every age from birth through the nine year change is on this blog; “Soul Economy” by Rudolf Steiner goes through each age, and “Education for Adolescents” by Rudolf Steiner is excellent for those of you with the upper grades aged children/children in the high school years.

The third thing that will bring you success is to  get organized inside and out.  Are you organized in your house?  How many toys and clothes do your children have and can you de-clutter?  Do you need so many dishes and glasses and towels and sheets?  Can you open all the closets and drawers in your house without things falling out?  Could you make it a priority this summer to hire a mother’s helper from the neighborhood or arrange with family members to play with your children for a few hours each week so you can get your house under control in time for the new school year?

Things such as knowing what day you will shop for groceries, what day you will run other errands, when you will clean what and having a meal plan will go a long way toward keeping your homeschool from being buried under a mountain of laundry with no snacks.  

More about cleaning and children and homeschooling in my next post.

Love to all,

Carrie

Waldorf Homeschooling Third Grade: Second Old Testament Block

You can see this post regarding the first block of Old Testament we did here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/10/30/waldorf-homeschooling-third-grade-first-old-testament-block/

The  main resources I used for this second  block included (other than several Bibles of different versions):

  • The Christopherus Old Testament Manual and Stories – the background information in there, the ideas for puppetry, modeling, and wet on wet painting were really very helpful.  
  • Ruth Beechick’s “Genesis:  Finding Our Roots” and “Adam and His Kin” were helpful during the first block, but they chronologically ended where our first block ended.
  • Jakob Streit’s  “And Then There Was Light” was used in the first block and now in this second block we have moved into “Journey To The Promised Land” by the same author.   Some may find this esoteric companion to be quite startling, but I liked much of it because it incorporated what is said in the Bible and what was said in Hebrew legends surrounding these events and fleshed the Biblical events out in a story format.  
  • Arthur Auer’s “Modeling:  Sculptural Ideas for For School and Home” had excellent suggestions for modeling the Tower of Babel.
  • Dorothy Harrer’s “An English Manual”
  • Roy Wilkinson’s “Commentary on Old Testament Stories.”
  • For this second block, I found Geraldine McCaughrean’s “God’s People:  Stories From The Old Testament” helpful for some of the drawings that I could easily translate to more archetypal figures and such.

This second block of Old Testament Stories we did included the stories of The Tower of Babel, Abraham,  the story of Isaac’s servant at the well meeting Rebekah, Esau and Jacob, the story of Joseph, Moses in the Bulrushes, Moses and the burning bush, The Exodus, and  The Ten Commandments.

We did several modeling projects, wet on wet paintings and crafts.  These stories are very deep and really penetrate into the nine-year-old child.  I came out one morning long after this block had ended and my daughter was actually drawing on one of the chalkboards a picture of The Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve.  She didn’t say anything about it; she didn’t have to as these stories so deeply affect a child of the nine-year change.

Many blessings,

Carrie

What To Do This Month: More About Planning Your Waldorf Homeschooling Year

So, in my last post I urged you to get your resources ordered by the end of this month so you will have plenty of time to sit down and read it all.

With this in mind, you might be thinking you have  nothing else to do until your resources arrive!  Well,  I have a few suggestions for things to do to prepare this month:

1.  Contact the Waldorf homeschoolers in your area if you can find any; see if you can get together to look at resources in person to decide if you want to buy these resources or not.

2.  Sit down and look at the calendar. How many days do you  have to homeschool by law in your state?  What are the other requirements of your state?

  • Figure out what your start date will be, and figure out your holidays and festivals.  There are typical “Waldorf” festivals, and you may also have religious holidays to consider as well.
  • When will you stop for the Winter Holidays?  Will you take two full weeks off around Easter – Holy Week and the week after Easter?  Will you schedule in any fall, winter or spring cleaning days?
  • When will you stop for summer?
  • Are there going to be field trips or other things that you do seasonally every year, such as apple picking or berry picking or visiting a farm to see the sheep shearing?
  • You can start to plan this even without resources in your hand.

3.  Now is an excellent time to plan for any toddlers/early “preschoolers” in the house.  They need a language-rich environment, so think ahead for each school month.

  • What verses or fingerplays will you use with your really tiny children?
  • What songs will you sing each month?
  • What simple nursery rhyme or very simple “everday”  story will you tell each month?  Do you need to make puppets?
  • Does this story have a worker character?  If it does, what practical work will you be doing this month that may tie in with that worker character?  Small children need to see, and be a part of practical work…(Big children as well!)

4.  Is there anything for festivals you could get a jump start on?  Anything you saw that you would like to have this year to help you celebrate? Maybe it is that wall hanging you wanted to sew or something you wanted to needle felt?

5.  Are there any supplies you need for fall?  How is your schoolroom doing?  Do you need to go through and cull old books or papers? 

Do you need a schoolroom table, blackboard, main lesson books, chalk, block or stick crayons, a blowing instrument?

6.  Is there anything you need to work on so you can bring it to your child in the fall?  Kniting, music, drawing? 

7.  Do you have a general idea what this grade is about?  One resource I suggest is the Christopherus Homeschool Resource Waldorf Curriculum Overview.  I reviewed this resource here on my blog. 

8.  What in your home needs to be pared down or organized?  In the fall, will you be ready  to find everyone’s shoes and coats?  Your bread making supplies?  Are your children’s clothes organized?

Many blessings,

Carrie

Planning For Your Waldorf Homeschooling Experience

Are you getting ready yet to start thinking about your next homeschooling year? 

I know some of you out there may be getting ready to end the school year for your children in a public or private school setting and are thinking about starting to homeschool in the fall.  This probably seems both exciting and overwhelming!

Some of you may be veteran homeschoolers with at least several years under your belt and are starting to plan for the fall by looking at curriculum or other resources you will need to plan over the summer.

Some of you may be transitioning from a “kindergarten” experience of lots of healthy rhythm and rich language development and mathematical foundations to the wonders of two and three day rhythms, main lesson books and formal academic work.  You might be wondering where you will fit all your practical work, and what is going to happen to your toddler now that you will be having more sit down time in main lessons.

Some of you may be thinking about bringing “more” in for that six year old who is kindergarten for the last year.

Wherever you are, let’s jump in together.

My challenge to you is to get your resources ordered by the end of this month so you can start planning. 

Mothers ask all the time about this or that curriculum, what curriculum is out there  that is true to Waldorf but at the same time understands the homeschooling family.  It is of course preferable that you create your own curriculum but I have certainly spoken with so many mothers who are new to homeschooling, new to Waldorf Education, perhaps in a challenging time in their family life, and really need a curriculum to help them lay it all out.  So, here is my list of questions to help you evaluate what you are looking at in terms of products:

I ask you to read the following paragraphs and see if it resonates with you as criteria to evaluate a pre-written curriculum:

  • Does the author(s) have a strong understanding of the seven  year cycles, of the three and four fold human being?  For me to use someone else’s curriculum, personally, I would need to know that the author(s) have studied Steiner, that they understand it on some level, and are true to the seven year cycles in their curriculum and that they take into account the developmental arc of the human being from that holistic standpoint. 
  • What is the authors’ background?  Have they homeschooled their own children at all?  Do they understand the dynamics of homeschooling, that things are more intense, that you and the dog and a four year old don’t make a Circle Time, that home has certain advantages that really should play into the curriculum that is different than Waldorf School?  Have they ever taught other children or been in situations where they have worked with other children?  After all, not every child and family is like your own! Do they have an understanding of the academic and artistic pieces of each grade?  That is important in order to educate for academic success! 
  • Do they have knowledge of the twelve senses and the importance of the protection/development of the twelve senses throughout these seven year cycles?  How is movement incorporated into their curriculum?
  • The other area that is a bug –a- boo for me is to ask whether the authors  are advocating academics within the first seven year cycle?  Are they talking about Main Lesson Books for the Early Years and blocks and such?  Are they talking about being able to tell a child’s temperament within the first seven year cycle?  To me none of that fits, so even if you are looking at grades materials, go back and look at what they propose for the Early Years.  This will give you a good barometer as to how true to Steiner the curriculum is!
  • If you are an Early Years mother and you are contemplating buying curriculum,  please do go through this blog and look at the resources I recommend.  There are many posts and reviews on here.  Work on yourself, your rhythm for your family, the tone of your home.  Look at what you might want to bring in when .  Create some of these things, and then worry about “curriculum”!
  • Lastly, what are the practicalities of using this curriculum?  Is it truly open and go, or do you need to do work to put it together?  (And both answers are okay, it depends what you are looking for!!)  What additional resources do you need?  Do you know how you will open school – do you have verses or songs, a longer poem each month  for your grades children to memorize and recite?  Does the curriculum show how to incorporate the form drawing,  knitting, crafts, cooking, gardening, movement, music or what other resources do you need to get? 
  • Or does all that overwhelm you, you are new to Waldorf, and you feel you just need the main lesson ideas?  Starting with “just” a main lesson might be all you feel you can handle, and some families do ease into Waldorf Education this way in the homeschool environment.  Again, you must know what you are looking for.
  • Does the curriculum provide samples of what a third grader might write, examples of math problems, etc?  Does it give you ideas for the Main Lesson from an artistic standpoint beyond drawing and summarizing?Not every lesson has to have a spot in the Main Lesson Book –for some things our family has made diaromas or modeled something or painted something or any number of other artistic endeavors– those things don’t fit in a Main Lesson Book!   Remember, art is the vehicle through which the lesson is taught!  The art is NOT separate!  Otherwise the curriculum becomes dry!

If you can ask yourself these questions of the curriculum and be satisfied, then you will have most likely found the right curriculum for you!  There are many products on the market, and we must be careful to know what we are buying.  Nature-based doesn’t mean true to Steiner, and if nature-based is what you are looking for, that is fine, but don’t confuse that with Waldorf Education!

Spend your money wisely; if there are Waldorf homeschoolers in your area please see if any of them have the resources you are considering purchasing so you can look at it and get  a feel for it before you buy it for yourself. If you are looking for Waldorf homeschoolers in your country or state,  please try this link:  http://www.christopherushomeschool.org/resources-for-waldorf-homeschooling-and-conscious-parenting/networking-for-groups-and-individuals.html

Once you decide, trust your intuition and just do it! Stop agonizing!  You must get what you are using, and sit down with it, and READ it from cover to cover so you know what you need to do, what you might need to add, how you need to plan. 

I would love to hear how your planning is coming along and what grades you and your family will be working on in the fall.

Many blessings,

Carrie

“Love And Anger: The Parental Dilemma” Chapter One

So we are embarking on our new chapter by chapter book today:  “Love and Anger:  The Parental Dilemma” by Nancy Samalin with Catherine Whitney.  You can read about the introduction to this book, with a link as to where to purchase it here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/03/25/love-and-anger-the-parental-dilemma-introduction/

This first chapter opens up with a quote from a father ( that I am sure many of us have said or have heard a parent say):  “I was the perfect father until my son was born.”

The scenario opening this chapter regards a working mother and her seven year old son who was prone to making a huge mess in their apartment:  “By the time Sharon walked in the door, she had already built up such an anger that she started yelling before she could stop herself.  Now she stood towering over the chaos in her living room, hands planted on her hips and face contorted in rage."  The mother later recounts in a parenting workshop that she cannot believe where her anger went.  How many of us have ever felt that way?

The author writes on page 4, “The subject of anger almost always comes up when parents gather, and it’s a subject that troubles them a great deal.  They believe that good parents don’t yell, much less shriek, loving parents don’t seethe with resentment, mature adults never give in to uncontrolled rage.  They look to me {the author} for ways to exorcise these uncomfortable feeling, hoping that I’ll offer them a solution, like a magic elixir, so they won’t feel angry with their children anymore.”

The author goes on to say that anger is normal, both on the part of the parent and the child, and points out the ultimate parenting paradox:   that often the greater our love, the greater too our capacity for feeling a troubling range of emotions including anger, resentment, rage. What we need to do is to teach OURSELVES and our children how to express anger, rage, those troubling emotions without attacking our children and in a way that may actually be helpful.

The author mentions that for many families their homes are battlegrounds filled with sarcasm, bickering, shouting, power struggles.   There can be many points of irritation, many hot buttons that trigger parents’ anger.  Here is a small sampling of the things parents listed as anger-provoking from a very long list on page 5:   “When they won’t do what I say”  “When they won’t take no for an answer.”  “When they defy me.”  “When they give me that attitude.”    “When they talk back and say things that hurt or insult me.” 

However, anger and rage can be downright scary; both for ourselves and our children.  It can fill us with self-loathing, guilt and other things that do not more our family lives forward. 

We must learn to separate our actions from our feelings.  All feelings are okay, not all actions are.  I am sure many of you have heard that before, but it is important to be able to deal with anger without hurting, insulting, demeaning our children.  I personally think the ability to  be firm and  hold boundaries in a loving way takes practice.  There will always be conflict between your needs and wants and what your child needs and wants.  Add in multiple children and it just gets more complex from there.   Our children will not always be happy about the boundaries that we set, yet those boundaries are there to help them  mature and grow.  Boundaries are not mean; they look toward the future when the things your children will do as adults may cost in big ways – in their jobs, their marriages, their own parenting of your grandchildren. 

And to do that we need to be able to accept all the emotions that come with being human, but to develop the will to stay the course that will benefit our children the most.  Only can we take responsibility for our own feelings and attitudes, our own actions, and yes, our own mistakes, can we move forward and truly be free.

I hope you will join along in reading this book with me.

Many blessings and much love,

Carrie

An Ordered Outer World For A Peaceful Family

This is an interesting phenomenon:

Bring order and warmth and beauty to your environment.

Use that order to bring order to your inner world.

Integrate your emotions, thoughts and actions as much as possible for peace.

We see this idea over and over again in Waldorf parenting and education.  If a little person is having a hard time at snack in a Waldorf Kindergarten, one of the first things a Waldorf Kindergarten teacher may do would be to straighten up the placemat, napkin, chair, glass, silverware around the child.  I believe there is a description of this in the book, “Beyond the Rainbow Bridge”, for those of you who may have that book.

Bring order and beauty to the child, and let that sink into giving the child order within.

In the book, “Awakening Beauty the Dr. Hauschka Way” by Susan West Kurz with Tom Monte, the author writes:  “Another simple way to experience your inner rhythms and to bring order to them is to create order in your environment.  Often when I feel my life is getting out of control, I organize my office, clean a room in my house, or arrange a drawer or my jewelry box.  It sounds mundane, but the act of creating order around me puts me in touch with the order within me.  It also helps me avoid trying to control everyone else around me.”   This book was recently given to me as a gift from a dear friend, and it really is a wonderfully nurturing book about the spiritual and physical foundations of beauty.

Order to create harmony.

I truly believe if you can tame your physical environment by paring down, and then add a healthy dose of rhythm on top of that, along with your own inner prayer life, you are well on your way toward creating a home life that is healthy.

With small children, less is more.  The environment should have less.  Children are very small, they are impulses and whims and giant sensory organs with no filters.  Think small, simple, beautiful.

Rhythm for small children also needs to have space and time to breathe.  Some families come to me and say they have no rhythm, but they really do.  Those “things” you see on the beautiful blogs, the art and the creating and such, are not necessarily the hallmark of rhythm when your oldest is five and under.  The hallmark there is bodily care, warming foods, warming touch and singing, practical work.  When your oldest children are in the grades and your younger ones are kindergarten aged, you will have much more of a centered rhythm and space and time to bring those other elements that one may associate with a Waldorf School.  Home is not school.  Home is a warm, peaceful and nurturing place.

You might be asking where to start with the physical environment.  If you truly find your environment out of control and need to start somewhere, please speak with your spouse or partner, your family members and plan several weekend afternoons when you have help with your small children. There is nothing so difficult as cleaning out things and watching your piles be carried all over the house by a band of small children.

I think children’s rooms should be havens for rest and sleep.  There is not need for many toys or books in the bedrooms.  The kitchen and dining area should be places of organization – how many glasses do you really need? how many plates?  how many gadgets?  Do you take your recyling and composting out promptly or do you have things hanging all over your kitchen waiting to go somewhere else?

Then look at your play areas and homeschooling areas.  Are things in baskets?  How many toys do you really need out at one time?  How many books do you need?  How much in the way of art supplies and such?  And how are these things organized – can your four year old pull up and chair and get down the stapler or glue or paint when you are not around?  Think ahead in the environment so as to avert disasters!

What is warm in your home?  What warming colors are there?  What things of natural beauty are there?  Are there plants and flowers?  Some things that are well-loved and worn? Those, to me, are beautiful.  Do you have religious objects that are inviting and comforting and calming?  Lovely.

To me, for small children, think about 14 outfits with outerwear for the elements.  Books?  About 6 for each season, rotated on the equinox and solstice dates for the beginning of each season.  Toys?  Not many, and those that are available; open ended.  Think practical work – does your child have the tools to help you with that?  “Gross motor toys” – bikes, scooters, jump ropes, are important. 

Pare down and bring soothing order to your home and your family life.

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Antidote To The Overwhelming Year

Some of you may well recall my previous post regarding “The Overwhelming Year” here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/02/23/the-overwhelming-year/   In part I wrote:

“In spite of times that are sometimes overwhelming, I  do not wish to  have a simple life.  I doubt my life will ever be simple; I am too enmeshed with raising small children and  helping mothers and  a myriad of other things for life to be simple.  Sometimes I  wish for balance, I always hope and look  for connection, but I do not  wish for things to be so simple that there is not striving.

If you are experiencing a complex year, an overwhelming year, I encourage you not to find the nearest exit and crawl out, but to work and strive to let these times mold you and shape you.  I encourage you to find humor, joy, truthfulness goodness and beauty.  I encourage you to find support in real-life people, not just the Internet.  I encourage you to become the expert on what YOU need and to become the expert regarding your own family and your own life.”

So, if you are experiencing an overwhelming year, a year of striving, a year of challenge, I thought I would share with you a few tactics I have been taking lately in order to move forward:

1.  Acknowledgement that you really cannot do it all, nor should you, and why would you want to?  I have spent the past several months cutting back on commitments outside my home the best that I could and that has helped me immensely.

2.  Don’t forget the physical body.  I am a big believer in the non-traditional things such as  homeopathy and using  flower essences but also in the traditional things such as eating and drinking enough, exercising, getting enough sleep in order to really recuperate.  I once read in reference to really exhausted and depleted Waldorf Teachers that perhaps the teacher would  need three or four months of really good sleep to fully recover.  Doesn’t that give you pause for a moment and an idea to put sleep as a priority?   A good complete physical by a conventional doctor is typically not a bad idea as well!

3.  Order your outer life so you can order your inner life.  I saw this principle profoundly and beautifully expressed here:  http://www.studyinbrown.com/writing/2011/3/22/order-and-routine-making-straight-paths-for-peace-part-2.html

Go read this, it will give you a lump in your throat  because it is that wonderful.

4.  Prayer, prayer, prayer.  Mothers who read this blog who do not have a spiritual life, a religious tradition, a prayer life, probably get tired of reading this suggestion on my blog.  But, I ask you, how do you intend to do all this business of raising a family, setting the tone in your home, all the things that family entails without these pieces?

5.  Art is life.  Paint, sculpt, write, read, play music.  I have heard it said that art sends light into the soul, need I say more?

Many blessings on your striving,

Carrie