Simplicity Monday

We when think of simplicity, we often think of harmony….Yet, I love what Kim John Payne notes in his book , “Simplicity Parenting”:

“As parents we must not become “harmony addicted.”  It’s tempting to hope that every day might be a sort of “rainbow experience” for our children.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  If only we could suspend them in a sort of happiness bubble.  But they need conflict.  As Helen Keller noted, “Character cannot be developed in quiet and ease.”  Children need to find ways to cope with difficult situations; they need to learn that they can.”

The important part of this, for children of all ages, is to have parents who are steady and connected to them during these sorts of touch points of childhood. It can be so difficult to comfort our children when they are upset over something that happened at school, or when they missed the catch that hastened the end of a (losing) game.   But this is part of parenting, and to never provide your children these moments misses some of life’s greatest lessons.

It is also not just about how you help your children during times of conflict, but how you manage yourself.  How did you manage your anger, your stress, your anxiety, your fear, your sorrow, your grief?

Simple doesn’t always mean nothing happens.  Life happens, and that is good.


4 thoughts on “Simplicity Monday

  1. This is so true, Carrie! It has been an amazing reframe for me to see the times of emotional turmoil with my kids as my chance to really “parent” in that moment, to support them in processing and releasing their big feelings.

    As my email tagline reads, “Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace is to be in the midst of all these things and still be calm in your heart.”

  2. Reminds me of a very very useful book I just read: Peaceful Parents, Happy Children: How to stop yelling and start connecting, by Dr. Laura Markham. She is so right on.

  3. I enjoy your blog a lot Carrie. Thank you. I am wondering when some of these points of conflicts should be introduced. Right now we are wondering about preschool. We are in a waldorf play group that is mommy and me but have been looking around our community for a preschool for our daughter since our waldorf school does not offer one until age 4. So we are wondering if age 3 is too young for preschool and why? Our non waldorf friends say, they think their little ones need to “learn to navigate difficult social situations on their own”. I question doing that so early with our sweet, sensitive child so soon. But if I had the extra time, I could use it to help out our home financially. What is the thought about this out there?
    Thank you

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