Look for the positive things in your child, and love and encourage your child. There is a saying of something to the effect that we do not teach a toddler to walk by berating them every time they fall, but we encourage them when they make it onto their feet and stagger a few steps. This is the same for older children; the things they are trying out and doing are different than learning to walk, but they are still learning to be a part of humanity!
Here are some encouraging words:
I knew you could do it!
Way to Go!
You almost have it, you almost did it! How fantastic!
You are doing much better!
That is the best you have ever done!
You are right on track!
Every day you get better and better!
That is such a good idea.
You must have practiced! I can tell!
You got it!
I am proud of you!
I knew you could do it! How cool!
Now you’re flying!
You are beautiful, unique, incredible!
What a good listener you are!
You tried so hard!
You really care about others!
What great sharing!
I trust you to make the right choice for yourself.
I love who you are!
I would never have thought of that!
You make me laugh, and I love being with you!
You belong in this family! I am so glad you are here with me!
You are a joy to me!
That is the best!
Smiles, hugs, kisses! It is so easy sometimes to look at what a child does wrong, what needs to be improved..remember all the wonderful things about your child and tell them. Spend time with them and show them. Love them.
Wonderful to see someone encouraging simple praise, when these days praise is held up as “bad” and “damaging” and it’s considered better to “support the process” instead. Children may have stronger internal motivation when they’re older if they don’t get a lot of praise – or they may give up thinking their art/craft/activity has no value to anyone – but how do they feel about themselves and their sheer loveability? This is a great list of kind and loving words.
I like this one: “You belong in this family! I am so glad you are here with me!”
I try to remember to thank my 2.5 year old for things he does well. “Thank you for helping to put the silverware away. Thank you for being gentle with the dog. Thank you for singing me a song.”
I love to tell my kids these things. As your commenter Sarah mentioned, sometimes I have a niggling feeling that I “shouldn’t” be praising in this way … but it comes so naturally and feels so good! One I find myself saying a lot is, “You are growing and growing and learning new things every day!” I also love pointing out something that my son or daughter was once unable to do and can now manage confidently.
Pingback: Sunday Morning Shout Out | tutordoctorwny01