When Homeschooling Is Hard

I still love Waldorf homeschooling; it is the method that speaks to me as a lover of stories and literature and history; it speaks to me as an artist; it speaks to me as a physical therapist; it speaks to me as a spiritual person (which is different than being religious, and I add a lot, a lot, a lot of theology in as well!); it speaks to my love of nature and how to approach science….

But, most of all, it speaks to me from a place of love and compassion for children and for what will help them.  That, to me, is the bottom line.

I don’t have to agree with all of Steiner’s philosophies in life, but the nuts and the bolts and the practicalities of education I like and I  have worked with to teach reading, writing, math, handwriting, handwork and other subjects.  This method stresses observation, love and respect for the child, and developmental timing.

If you are getting bogged down, may I humbly suggest to just remember homeschooling is different than a Waldorf school.  Do keep it simple. You don’t have to draw a chalkboard drawing the night before; draw with your child.  Maybe your homeschool is stronger in gardening than playing the pentatonic flute.  Maybe you go to the park instead of having a circle time.

It is okay to be different than a school, in fact, it is going to be different.  That is the beauty of homeschooling over any school, including a Waldorf school.  The most important part of this is to be together, to love each other, to give your children a sense of the beauty and awe and interconnectedness of this world the Creator gave us, to respect that time and space that children need to unfold,  to be able to really “get” the development of your individual child and the development of your family, to show your children the beauty of community.

Years later, I am still grateful I found Waldorf Education.  In an educational land gone crazy with fact shoving, testing, memorizing, teaching to the test, and dedicated and wonderful teachers who now cannot teach the way they truly want to, I am grateful I can home educate.

On the days when it is hard, on the days when I question why this insanity and chaos, on the days when I want to throw in the towel, I see my daughters “get” something, I see the children playing all together and laughing, we see the beauty of a bird or flower or chipmunk and breathe in the fresh air, and I remember.

This is why I am doing this. For love.

And love to you today, and many blessings,

Carrie

Links To Give You Courage This Michaelmas Day!

I hope everyone is celebrating a wonderful Michaelmas today!  May all of our dragons be slayed, may our courage and clarity carry us forth!

There are so many of you whom I turn to for inspiration and with such gratitude, and today I wanted to mention a few posts that really give me courage.  These posts are authentic and real!  I love that!

Homeschooling and parenting is NOT for the faint of heart, not if you are involved and immersed in it.  Sometimes mothers will tell me they feel so much better knowing I have my days where I cry or get angry or have a rotten day.  Not because they want that for me, but because I think we all feel better knowing we are not alone and that we are all striving!  Me too!

So here are some inspiring reads for you!  Continue reading

Warmth: A Healing Balm For Today’s Children And A Special Offer For My Readers

I have written many,many back posts on warmth.  A child deserves not only emotional warmth, warm feelings of love and joy that emanate from the parent to the child, but a child needs physical warmth.

Children have a metabolic rate that runs faster than an adult’s.  Therefore, under the age of nine especially, they are unlikely to know whether they are truly cold or not.  I am sure we have all experienced the child that is swimming in cold water and is literally blue, but doesn’t realize they are cold.  This is common amongst children who really cannot tell their own temperature very well.

As parents, I think it is important for us to keep our children warm.  We see this in many cultures all around the world – dressing babies warmly, even in subtropical and tropical climates.  When our children are warm enough, then energy will not be diverted from the growth and maturity of the nervous system just in order to keep warm.  Warmth allows our children to settle in, to not be restless, to rest and sleep and grow better, and to reach their fullest potential as human beings.

As a rule,  we recommend three layers on the top with one layer tucked in, and two layers on the bottom.  Continue reading

“The Well Balanced Child” – Chapter Three: “Brain and Body–Developing The Mind”

Yay, we are up to Chapter Three!  I hope you all are enjoying this book as much as I am.

This chapter points out that the brain of a new-born baby incredibly contains nearly all the brain cells it will need throughout the rest of life even though the newborn baby’s brain is only about a third of the size of the adult brain.  The main period of brain growth occurs in the first year of life, although between age 15 months and age 6 the cerebral cortex appears to double in size.  (The cerebral cortex play a role in memory, attention, language and other areas; you can see more about it here on Wiki:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_cortex).   Continue reading

The Terrific Ten-Year-Old: A Developmental View

 

I keep expanding the developmental entries by age; now I have ages birth through age ten, plus many posts on adult development, under the development tag.  I hope many of you will find the developmental posts helpful for your children, yourself, and your families as you create a nurturing homelife.

 

It goes without saying that every child is an individual, and every child has a different rate of development. However, I have found works of individuals who have studied children to be helpful in my own parenting, so I pass these notes on to you so you can take what works for you.

 

I find it interesting that the wonderful Gesell Institute books that I like have separate books for each age, but once the age ten comes, the ages ten through fourteen are condensed into one book.  I think as my children grow and I observe more and more children in these ages, including teaching children of these older ages in different settings, than I will keep writing and add to the information out there. It seems to me that there is quite a bit for the younger years, and not nearly as much for the older years – both in parenting and in homeschooling resources.

 

Anyway, on to TEN!   Here are a few highlights that I picked out of ten-year-old section of the book, “Your Ten-To Fourteen Year-Old” by Louise Bates Ames, Frances Ilg and  Sidney Baker.

 

Ten year olds are known to really love their family and family life.  Most ten-year olds, even if they have bouts of sounding less than loving to their family members, really do love and respect and admire their parents, family activities, outings.  They love to play in their neighborhood, if they live in a neighborhood, and sometimes even get along with their siblings (sometimes not!).

 

They tend to be more happy than they were at nine, but at the same time, occasional physical outbursts of anger surface.   Occasional is a key word here, because ten tends to be an age of happiness for most ten year olds.   When provoked and angry, a ten-year-old can be immediate and violent. They may stamp their feet or shout or storm out of the room.   This book notes that, “Responding merely verbally also occurs, but less often than at following ages.  Though verbal, the responses are nonetheless violent – Tens yell, screech, call names…”   There is more about this on page 213 of this book for those who would like further reading.

 

 

Ten year olds tend to respect their teacher and work hard in school. They have many interests and are very active. “Ten moves around a great deal, often just for the sheer joy of movement rather than to conform to any special rules of a game. The sheer pleasure of exercising one’s body is enough”. Collections, making models, sewing, cooking, drawing and reading are all popular.

 

Ten-year-olds may not always know right from wrong at this point, as a passage in the book states, “A boy of this age will admit he cannot always tell right from wrong, so he usually goes by what his mother tells him. Or by what he learns in Sunday school, or possibly by what his conscience tells him.” A ten year old may also become teary and cry when angry, but it is one of the last really tearful stages. Ten-year-olds generally don’t have the best sense of humor nor the best ideas for jokes.  Fairness is still really important. 

 

Ten year olds are not yet aware of when they are tired and need to be reminded about bed.  Bedtime is generally between eight thirty and nine thirty at night according to this text.  Girls often have more trouble falling asleep than boys.  They tend to sleep through the night and boys tend to sleep longer than girls.

 

Many ten year olds do not like to bathe or wash, nor brush their hair nor their teeth.  Again, individuals may vary.  Ten year olds typically do not do a good job taking care of things – their rooms tend to be messy, their clothes may be on the floor, and they still need “considerable supervision” to get through daily routines.

 

Ten to eleven year olds girls may show signs of puberty by the eleventh birthday, many may be disturbed if there is no sign of breast development. Many girls of this age know about menstruation and sexual intimacy whereas a boy’s awareness of sex is typically not too far ahead and the physical maturity into manhood is slower than what girls experience.

 

So, many parents ask me, what is life like post the “nine year change”, that big developmental leap that occurs usually around the age of nine.  I think one major shift is that for many ten year olds, mothers again become the center of the universe.  I have seen in my own child and in other ten year olds a dramatic increase in wanting to sit on a lap, be held, be near.  Fathers also hold a very important role, and ten year olds love to do things with their fathers!  Sibling relationships with those between six and nine years of age can be rocky.  Ten year olds do love their friends as well, and are thrilled to have a special best friend too.  Boys tend to form larger groups of friends to play with than girls.

 

In our next post, I would like to take a peek at the age of ten from the viewpoint of a Waldorf educator.

Many blessings,

Carrie

“The Well-Balanced Child”–Chapter Two: Balance

 

 

I am determined to make a great deal of headway in this book for you all during the next several weeks.  You can find the back posts regarding the foreword, introduction and Chapter One here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/08/14/the-well-balanced-childintroduction-and-chapter-one/  and here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/07/28/the-foreword-of-the-well-balanced-child-movement-and-early-learning/

 

This chapter starts with two  case report of a little twelve year old girl who did everything “late” in life and a woman in her mid-forties who suffered from agoraphobia.  The common connection between the two cases was one of balance. 

 

From page 11:  “It was the late Paul Schilder’s belief, that many of the symptoms of neurosis and psychosis could be traced back to a fault in the functioning of the balance mechanism.  Why is balance so important that dysfunction can result in such a wide variety of symptoms, many of them masquerading as cognitive or emotional disorders?”

 

I have done some extra work in the area of vestibular rehabilitation, and I have seen the above quote to be true, particularly in my work with children.  Children who do not move well, who are unsure of their own bodies, are understandably more unsure of themselves in social situations, and often seem to hold more anxiety than children who are not suffering from movement issues.  Just an observation, no blind study research here.  Smile  Children with vestibular disorders are not nearly as clearly recognized as adults.  Some pediatric specialists believe the vestibular system being “off” has much to do with ADHD, and I remember in one pediatric vestibular course I took the presenter stated she felt children with symptoms of developmental delay, low vision, hearing loss, motor developmental delay, tinnitus, motion sickness or sensitivity, abnormal movements, clumsiness, decreased hand/foot/eye coordination, ataxia or falls, nystagmus of the eye,  problems planning or executing movement, loss of consciousness, seizures or vertigo/dizziness should all be evaluated for vestibular system function.  Children who seek movement or fear movement should also be evaluated.  Those children who have had chronic ear infections or a history of infant torticollis should also be seen.  

 

At any rate, this chapter goes on to discuss balance as the system to “facilitate orientation and postural behavior – the ability of the body to function within the force of gravity, or “to know your place in space.”  The knowledge of place in space provides the primary reference point from which  all other spatial judgments and adaptations  become possible.”  The vestibular system is different than other systems in the body though, because we often are aware of balance only through the other systems.  This chapter gives several examples of that:  rides at the fair that leave butterflies in the stomach, sea-sickness, vertigo when standing on the edge of a high cliff.

 

The next part of the chapter traces the origins of the balance system – the plaques that eventually become the inner ear start developing at 21 days gestation.   From my notes, at eight weeks the embryonic inner ear resembles the adult inner ear.  I don’t know as this chapter was really clear for layman in terms of the parts of the ear, so I wanted to add a few things here.  There is an outer ear, the part you see, a middle ear that is air-filled that a physician can look at with an otoscope in the doctor’s office, and there is an inner ear that is fluid-filled located in the temporal bone, which is part of your skull.    There are two vestibular organs called the saccule and the utricule, you can see a picture here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utricle_(ear) , which are covered with hair cells and contain otoliths, which are calcium carbonate coverings that detect linear acceleration and respond to gravity.  There are also three semicircular canals, just as the chapter here describes, which detect angular motion.  You can see a further description of this on page 14.

 

This chapter points out that balance is not something we “have”, it is something we do!   Balance and vision work together, balance requires muscle tone development and the development of postural control; hearing and touch also work with balance.  This is a lovely quote:  “The vestibular system may be the expert in movement, but it receives its training through movement.”

 

On page 17, the author notes, “Secure balance is inseparable from the development of postural control, which in turn is supported by information from the visual, proprioceptive, and motor systems.  Training of these systems is a gradual process during which maturation of the vestibular pathways involved will take until at least 7 years of age, and continue through puberty and beyond.  Immature vestibular functioning is frequently found amongst children who have specific learning difficulties such as Dyslexia and Dyspraxia, problems of attention, language impairment, emotional problems, and adults who suffer from anxiety, Agoraphobia and Panic Disorder.”  And, on page 18, “Children who continue to reverse letters, numbers, and words after the age of 8 years are also found to have immature balance.” 

 

The last few pages of the book are devoted to a list of how to train balance: up and down movements like jumping and jumping on a trampoline or going down a slide; to and fro – running, stopping, starting, swinging; centrifrugal force such as carousels; turning movements of the body such as spinning, dancing, rolling, somersaults and depth such as riding on a scooter board. 

 

The chapter ends with a list of signs and symptoms that may indicate problems with the vestibular system and mentions developmental delay, poor muscle tone, frequent falls, fear of movement, clumsiness, no fear of heights or excessive hear of heights, excessive spinning or rocking, poor sense of body in space in relations to others, cannot figure out how to push or pull or imitate movement, motion sickness over eight years of age, difficulty learning to ride a bike, etc.

 

A chapter with a lot of food for thought.  Look for Chapter Three in the next post!

The One Thing Every Parent Needs

…is joy!

If you can be joyful, you can be a fearless parent.  Instead of thinking in your head, “We did this right and we didn’t do that right  and we probably messed our child up forever” you will think, “My child will be okay no matter what because I am doing the best I can do, I made the best decisions I could make at the time with the information I had, and ultimately my child is my responsibility, but also my child doesn’t belong to me but to God.  And God has a plan, and it will be good!”

If you can be joyful, you can enjoy the more challenging developmental phases of childhood instead of wishing, hoping, praying, that they were over and done.  Joy meets life fully in the present.

If you can be joyful, you can give your child the very two essential components for growth that a child needs:  time and space.  You can step back, and not have to be there to navigate every single thing for your child, you can be more comfortable with child-inclusive but not child-led, you can be more comfortable with benign neglect.

If you can be joyful, you can stop complaining now.  Children are a joy and privilege and so is marriage.

If you can be joyful, you can live here in the now and like it.

If you can be joyful, you can see homemaking and housekeeping not as drudgery, but as the warm  nurturing love you have for your family expressed.

If you can be joyful, you can see the light of Christ in all of humanity and in the cosmic nature.  Look around you and be awed!

Change your thoughts, change your life. You can start today.

In Joy,

Carrie

Fourth Grade Local Geography Block

 

We started school on August 22, so we are finishing up our local geography block. It was a fun block, and one I expanded into covering our whole state.  I did this for two reasons:  my daughter really has a good knowledge of local things; a keen sense of direction and was already offering to draw maps of everything local before I even got there (Can I draw a map of my room?  Look, I drew a map of my neighborhood!) and because I really want to start to cover U. S. Geography so we can do Canada and Mexico next year.

I think one thing to consider in this block is how heavily you will employ history. Donna Simmons talks about this at length in her Fourth Grade Syllabus, and it was something I pondered greatly.  Geography, to me, doesn’t mean much unless we know how it impacted the people living there (or how the people impacted it). So, I tried not to go overboard, but did lay a foundation for a few future things in the process. This is how I did it: Continue reading

The Angry, Aggressive Six Year Old

I have written before about the really active, can-be-aggressive small child in several back posts of varying nature, but I had a few thoughts I wanted to share today. ( Please be sure to note I am dealing here with fiery temperaments, not especially with children dealing with sensory or developmental issues affecting behavior).

If you are struggling with a six year old who still seems rather “stuck” in immature behavior that involves physicality, I want to encourage you tonight.  It doesn’t seem as if people really talk about this at all in parenting resources; it seems it is well- assumed that tantrums or any physical response to a limit is over by age three.

From what I have seen, six year olds can definitely still have a hard time controlling their hands, their emotions, their reactions, their physical responses and such.  To those of us involved in Waldorf Education, this seems like of course!  Has anyone ever read the book “Ramona The Brave” by Beverly Cleary?  Here is a passage about fiery Ramona, six years old and in first grade at school, when she becomes completely angry at a classmate (for those of you who have not read this book it is a paper owl and Susan had copied what Ramona had done to make hers, which is why Ramona is angry in this chapter): Continue reading

Thriving In The Midst of It All

Life can be downright busy, no matter how simple we want it to be. No matter how simple we try to make it, the more people one has in a household, the more pets one has, the more community and obligations one has, the busier it can become.

And you can still love every minute of it and thrive in it.

My life, as many of you who personally know me, can get rather busy.  Sometimes it is my life that needs to be de-cluttered, not my things!  I fully admit to having a hard time saying no to things at church, or to friends who need something, or to my neighbors.  But the older I get, the more I realize how much I love community, how much I enjoy gathering those I love together and connecting those who I think really ought to meet each other for this reason or that.  And, the older I get, I get better at setting limits and seeing how things balance out.

It all can’t be perfect.  One cannot homeschool well, have the house be spotless, cook every single thing perfectly, have all the errands done, have a social life, have the children do things, and all the other things on the list. It just can’t happen, and I think we could all end up having nervous breakdowns trying to do it all…

So, I try to remind myself about seasons, in both the literal and more symbolic sense.  Continue reading