Monthly Archives: December 2010

“Hold On To Your Kids”–Chapter Seven

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We are back with more of our book study of “Hold On To Your Kids:  Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers” by Neufeld and Mate.  I encourage you all to read this book; it will underscore the importance of your work as a parent and that what you do every day really does matter!

We are up to Chapter Seven in this book, entitled “The Flatlining of Culture”.  The authors talk about how teen “tribe”s have no connection these days with adults at all. They remark that “Although we have lulled ourselves into believing that this tribalization of youth is an innocuous process, it is a historically new phenomenon with a disruptive influence on social life.  It underlies the frustration many parents feel at their inability to pass on their traditions to their children.”

I have a few things to add here.  I believe this peer orientation is beginning earlier and earlier, but parents are buying into this process as fact when it does not have to be so.  “Sleep-overs”, something women my age remember happening from their own childhoods in the teen years (ie, junior high and up), are now happening for children aged 7 and up.  There are many more instances of things that used to occur in the teenaged years just some decades ago that are now happening at the earliest levels of the grades.  This should be worrisome and we should be fighting to take the innocence of childhood and being with family back! 

The other interesting thing with this quote is the assumption that parents feel they have traditions to pass on.  I meet many families who do NOT have traditions from their own childhood to pass on.  Many of the parents I meet today are trying to re-create their families’ cultures from scratch with little idea how to start.  We must get very clear with ourselves and with our spouses, partners and other family members what traditions we hold dear, what values we hold dear and work to show this to our children.

“When a child becomes peer-oriented, the transmission lines of civilization are downed.  The new models to emulate are other children or peer groups or the latest pop icons….Peer-oriented children are not devoid of culture, but the culture they are enrolled in is generated by peer orientation.”

Another great quote and sobering fact from this chapter:  “Many of our children are growing up bereft of the universal culture that produced the timeless creations of humankind:  The Bhagavad Gita; the writings of Rumi and Dante, Shakespeare and Cervantes and Faulkner, or of the best and most innovative of living authors; the music of Beethoven and Mahler: or even the great translations of the Bible.  They know only what is current and popular, appreciate only what they can share with their peers.”

What did you all think of this short but intriguing chapter?

Carrie

What To Do With Homeschooling In December

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Homeschooling in December can be challenging!  I find most mothers who do not plan to take most of December lighter or off completely feel burned out and then end up taking some or most of the month off anyway.

Many veteran homeschoolers will tell you that they plan in advance for December to be a great month of cooking, crafting, perhaps doing a lighter rhythm of school with math only or with activities revolving around the holidays.

I think this is a smart idea.  So many homeschoolers feel completely burned out by this time of year, and attempting to homeschool on top of all the cleaning, cooking, baking, crafting that goes with the holidays seems to put so many mothers on edge.  This is the time of year many mothers start posting on the Waldorf boards that maybe their children really need to go into Unschooling more or that Waldorf homeschooling is not working for them.  I doubt that is really what is needed, it just feels like it this time of year!  I wrote a series of posts last January about Waldorf and Unschooling, so if you are really curious you can look there, but sometimes I think what we all really need is a break.  Our bodies naturally are connected to the inner grace of this time period in the cycle of the year.

The Twelve Holy Nights between Christmas and Epiphany are a welcome time for me to read and dream and plan more than usual.  It helps me recharge for the next part of the school year. I hope you will plan to get some time for reading and relaxing yourself!

If you are searching for ideas for December Homeschooling, I suggest the following:

Marsha Johnson has a December block on her Yahoo!Group that encompasses a week of Hannukah studies and activities, a week of the Three Wise Men and a week around the Winter Solstice.  You can get this block for free by joining her Waldorf group:  waldorfhomeeducators@yahoogroups.com

Many homeschooling families also seem to use these two units from Elizabeth Foss over at Serendipity:

Christmas and Advent Around the World: http://www.elizabethfoss.com/serendipity/2010/11/christmas-and-advent-around-the-world.html

Tomie de Paola Christmas:  http://ebeth.typepad.com/reallearning/advent-and-christmas-with.html

What do you all like to do during December in your homeschool?

Many blessings,

Carrie

“Hold On To Your Kids”–Chapter Six

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Chapter Six is an interesting exploration of the concept of “counterwill”.  The authors define “counterwill” as “an instinctive, automatic resistance to any sense of being forced.  It is triggered whenever a person feels controlled or pressured to do someone else’s bidding.  It makes its most dramatic appearance in the second year of life-yes, the so-called terrible two’s. (If two-year-olds could make up such labels, they would perhaps describe their parents as going through the “terrible thirties.”)  Counterwill reappears with a vengeance during adolescence but it can be activated at any age – many adults experience it.”

This whole description made me chuckle.  Children push against forms all the time, but so do adults!  How often do we walk around complaining and essentially demonstrate the equivalent of kicking and screaming as we grump around?   “Why do I have the be the one who sets the tone in my home?”  “Why do I have to do all the research on parenting?”  “Why do I have to do all the housework?” 

Our children experience this as well.  I am very appreciate of the way Waldorf Education really helps me look at my children in a “sideways” manner.  Sometimes we really can affect more change through telling a story, through just listening and sleeping on it, through not approaching things so directly.  To approach things so directly so often leads to COUNTERWILL.

This from page 75:  “Counterwill manifests itself in thousands of ways.  It can show up as the reactive no of the toddler, the “You’re aren’t my boss” of the young child, as balkiness when hurried, as disobedience or defiance…(Uh, careful, Neufeld and Mate with that term.  Those of you who read this blog as Frequent Flyers are probably familiar with this back post:https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/09/16/a-few-fast-words-regarding-defiance-in-children-under-the-age-of-6/    )  It is visible in the body language of the adolescent.  Counterwill is also expressed through passivity, in procrastination, or in doing the opposite of what is expected.  It can appear as laziness or lack of motivation.  It may be  communicated through negativity, belligerence, or argumentativeness, often interpreted by adults as insolence.”

The authors’ point in this chapter is that counterwill is normal and with good attachment to parents it can be kept in check. However, if the child is not attached to the parents and instead attach to a peer unit, it goes completely out of control.  The authors tell the stories of adolescents who do horrible things in the name of “doing it because we weren’t supposed to” and to “not let them push us around.”  “Clinicians diagnose such children with oppositional defiant disorder.  Yet it is not the oppositionality- the counterwill- that is out of order but the child’s attachments.”  These children are only being true to their instinct in defying people to whom they do not feel connected.  The more peer-oriented a child, the more resistant to the adults in charge.”

Don’t forget that “counterwill” has two important NORMAL functions:

1.  To keep a child from being influenced by those outside of a child’s attachment circle of family and

2.  To help the child develop internal will and autonomy.

The authors talk about the difference between will and clinging to a desire.  They remark that a child’s oppositionality is actually not an expression of will; that in fact it denotes an absence of will because it only allows a person to react not act from a free and conscious choosing.  Counterwill can be healthy in a “I can do it by myself” kind of independence-asserting sort of way, and counterwill will fade as a child experiences true maturing and growth toward independence.  Counterwill as a result of peer-attachment is very different from the counterwill that is serving the purpose of the child attaining independence.

Carrie here:  This is key in smaller children especially.   Smaller children really do not have free and conscious choosing they way an adult should have, so why do we put this burden on them to make choices, to choose to do X or Y?  Go back to the principles of the Early Years:  imitation, less words, less choice or no choice, let rhythm carry you and when these moments of pushing  against forms happens, be that strong, calm, capable rock to support your child!

On page 82, the authors write:  “It is understandable, when feeling a lack of power ourselves, to project a will to power onto the child.  If I am not in control, the child must be; if I do not have power, the child must have it; if I am not in the driver’s seat, the child has to be….In the extreme, even babies can be seen to have all the power to control one’s schedules, to sabotage one’s plans, to rob’s one sleep, to rule the roost….The problem with seeing our  children as having power is that we miss how much they truly need us.”

If all you can see in your children is the negative, the anger, the resistance, the “they are out to destroy my life, I know it!” then of course all you will respond with is your own anger, your own frustration, your own sadness.  Connect with your children, love your children, hold to the boundaries but out of love and   wanting them to grow up to be good, ethical and moral human beings.  Your connection will help make things better!  It really can go more smoothly when you are not on opposite sides.  Love one another!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Gentle Discipline = Connection Plus Boundaries

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We have been talking quite a  bit of late about power, authority and boundaries in parenting.  Our book study of “Hold On To Your Kids:  Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers” by Neufeld and Mate spurred the discussion, but boundaries are something I have ALWAYS discussed on this blog.  You can go through the archives or use “boundaries” in the search engine to pull up back posts.

If things are not going well in your home with discipline, here are a few quick tips:

1.  Where are you emotionally and spiritually?  It all begins with you.  Children need to see you modeling how they should be behaving and what values you hold dear.  What comes when as your children grow? When can they go to a friend’s house without you, when can they walk somewhere alone, when can they ride their bike to the corner store, when can they have their first sleepover?  Befriend some mothers with older children and see what issues are coming up for older ages; this helps you plan because you will be there one day as well!

How do you show reverence, how do you show gratitude?

Where is the rhythm of your home?  Where are your moments of laughter, joy, fun, wonder?  What are you doing for demonstrating real work, what is your child doing for real work, what are you doing for sleep, rest, warming foods and nourishment for the soul through singing and verses and stories?  What are you doing to get energy out/outside time?  These things help children of all ages!

How do you speak kindly in your home?  How do you use your words to help each other? 

Are you communicating to your small children that the world is a good place?  That people are helpful and kind?  How are you showing your older grades-aged children beauty?

What is your physical health like?  It can be  hard to be emotionally and spiritually stable and growing if your physical body needs your attention. Sometimes illness, bed rest, an accident can all be a blessing and force us to grow in ways we otherwise would not have, but I am generally speaking here of mothers who run around in their day to day mothering without a thought of water, healthy food or exercise for their own bodies.

2. Are you trying to do this ALL ALONE?  Many mothers are, for a variety of reasons.  Some just will not let their husbands do anything; some are single mothers; some are alone in their marriages.  I have written quite a lot about marriage and even some posts on being alone in marriage, you can refer to those for some encouragement.

You cannot do this all alone; it takes a community of loving family members and friends to help raise a child.  By the time your child is five, this community is increasingly important and by the time your child enters the grades even more so. 

Where do you fit into the equation of the family’s needs? 

3.  Are you connected to your child?  Connection is the basis of discipline.  You do not need words to connect with the small under 7 child, and even the child of 7-9 does not need so many words.  A nine year old does not have logical thinking and less words are truly better!  Connect through being warm and loving, through a steadiness in the home, through physical touch and through play.  Connect with your child by being emotionally stable yourself!

Meditate and pray about your child, look into your heart and see where they are and what they need.  What would uplift them THE MOST at this very moment? 

Sometimes growth comes in spurts with regression, especially for a younger child, and we can tailor our rhythm to these demanding stages. However, very often what an older (six and a half year old and up) needs as they struggle with emotional growth in childhood is to not be rescued and have that feeling of being uncomfortable taken away and alleviated.  Older children, as they grow, need to learn to deal with all of their  feelings, positive and negative, with peers and with people who do things differently. 

4.  What are your boundaries and do you understand what tools are available for each age to help you stick to those  boundaries?

What do you do when your child will not adhere to the boundary?  Sometimes a time-in together or just a little bit of space together outside in the backyard can change the energy just enough – but you still have to go back to the boundary.

Is what you are asking REASONABLE for the age of the child?  And remember, we don’t ASK small children to do things – we do it together.  Exhausting, but alleviates so many problems.

Parent your child for the age that they are – do not treat your ten year old like a three year old and do not treat your three year old like a ten year old!

Look for the next few posts to be from our book study.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Surrounding the Young Child With A Christmas Mood

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We did an article study over at the Christopherus Waldorf At Home Forum on the article “Meeting Fear and Finding Joy” by Stephen Spitalny.  (To see the study thread, join here: http://www.waldorf-at-home.com/forums/  )  You can read the article for yourself here:  http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/GW4006.pdf

This article was an interesting read for this time of year and several things about it jumped out at me.  One of the first things I thought about was the initial premise that joy is the opposite of fear:  we meet fear and we find joy.  At first, all   I could  really think was that fearlessness or bravery would be the most common antonym of fear.

But then, the more I thought about the children I have worked with who have had anxiety or fear and then were placed in a situation where they found success, the look on their faces was that of pure joy.  That they could do it!  So perhaps Mr. Spitalny is correct that joy can be the opposite of fear. 

Peacefulness could also be seen as the opposite of fear I think.  Some of the most peaceful people I ever met in my life were those with such a strong spiritual path that they were just calm in the midst of any of life’s storms.

What does this have to do with surrounding the child with  “a Christmas mood”?  One thing that this article postulates, and that many of us who work with children have seen, is that children today are increasingly surrounded by the fears, the anxieties, the stresses of the adult world.  There is less and less separation between the dreamy world of childhood, and the protection that adults used to afford children.  There is less and less knowledge of what children need at different ages.

At the end of this article, Mr. Spitalny describes the Christmas mood this way:

“Dr. Michaela Glöckler speaks about the importance of a “Christmas mood” surrounding the young child. This mood resounds in what Fra Giovanni wrote in 1513:

No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in it today.
Take heaven.
No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present instant.
Take Peace.
The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet, within our reach, is joy.
Take joy.
And so, at this Christmas time, I greet you with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day
breaks and the shadows flee away”

If there is one gift in vein of the mood of Advent that one could bestow on one’s children, it would be the gift of returning the small child to the place of being surrounded by love, by warmth, by joy, by peace. 

Can you enjoy your children with reverence and joy?  Do you have fun being together?  Is there humor in your home?  Is there a warm community of people who love your child?

This, to me, is the essence of “the Christmas mood.”  The Christmas mood is the mood that is almost palpable this time of year, for Christians and non-Christians alike, this season of Advent, of hushed preparation and waiting, of inward connection and fortitude in the darkness.

This article states that:

“The`essence of the task of a human being is to connect, to relate, and to find balance. This relating is with other human beings, with one’s own body, with the kingdoms of nature and the elemental word, with spiritual beings, and with one’s own higher self.”

How do you connect and relate and find balance?

How do your children do this?  A child relates perhaps first to its mother as part of itself then expanding to the father or another close caregiver and then through the community.  And woven throughout this is the child relating as a spiritual being on a spiritual path.  These are tasks worthy of education and of life and of thought and meditation as we parent.

These tasks are the essence of the Christmas mood.

Waiting in reverence,

Carrie

Please Pray For Two of My Friends

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Those of you out there who are prayer warriors, please add my two friends to your list:

Kyrie over at Are So Happy:  http://aresohappy.squarespace.com/

and Annette over at Seasons of Joy:  http://ourseasonsofjoy.com/general/birth-story-of-matthew-of-molly/

Thank you and many blessings to you,

Carrie

“Hold On To Your Kids”–Chapter Five

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“What keeps parents in the game is attachment.  Commitment and values can go a long way but if it was only that, parenting would be sheer work.  If it wasn’t for attachment, many parents would not be able to stomach the changing of diapers, forgive the interrupted sleep, put up with the noise and the crying, carry out all the tasks that go unappreciated.”

The authors use this chapter to point out that attachment supports parenting in seven ways:

1.  It arranges the parent/child hierarchically – the child is dependent on the parent; children look up to their parents, they turn to their parents for answers, they defer to them.

2.   It makes parents more tolerant of behavior  –“When our children express by actions or words a desire to attach to us, it makes them sweeter and easier to take.”

3.  It causes the child to pay attention to us. “The stronger the attachment is, the easier it is to secure the child’s attention.”

4.  It keeps the child close to the parent.  “If all goes well, the drive for physical proximity with the parent gradually evolves into a need for emotional connection and contact.”

5. It makes the parents a model.  “It is attachment that makes a child want to be like another person, to take on another’s characteristics.”

6.  It causes the parent to be the “primary cue-giver.”  “Until a child becomes capable of self-direction and of following cues from within, he or she needs someone to show the way.”

7.  It makes the child want to be good for the parent. 

With each of these ways that attachment can support parenting, the authors go through and show how these attachments work when a child attaches to peers instead of parents, what that looks like, and what that means for the parent-child relationship.

One interesting quote that may interest many of you, especially those of you with smaller and grades-age children,  was this one: “Children do not internalize values- make them their own-until adolescence.”

I think this quote shows us, and encourages us to keep in the game of parenting past the age when children are “little.”  When I repeatedly say on this blog that children in that second seven-year cycle are still “little”, I mean it.  Seven, eight and nine year olds still need protection.  Ten through thirteen year olds still need the support of parents to guide them.

The authors end the chapter with a final thought regarding a child’s desire to be “good” for a parent and this is that the parent must be trustworthy.  A parent cannot abuse this desire that the child has to work with the parent.  They also caution against using rewards and punishments:  “External motivators for behavior such as rewards and punishments may destroy the precious internal motivation to be good, making leverage by artificial means necessary by default.”

Another interesting chapter; what did you all think about it?

Many blessings,

Carrie

More About Celebrating Santa Lucia Day In The Waldorf Home

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Santa Lucia Day is coming on December 13th.  Little by little, I personally gather more and more information and put more details into this festival each year for my own family.

Santa Lucia Day celebrates the life of Saint Lucy and light for the longest night of the year (under the old Gregorian calendar this was the Winter Solstice).  This day usually begins before dawn, with the oldest girl in the family rising to make St. Lucia buns (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lussekatt) and to bring these to her parents. She typically wears white, sometimes with a red sash and a wreath of candles on her head.  Other girls in the family are dressed in white as attendants and the boys are dressed as “star boys” with pointy star hats. I believe in many Scandinavian countries this day  begins the Christmas season.

If you are not familiar with this festival, you can peek at my post from last year regarding Santa Lucia Day and read the story of this special day:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/07/santa-lucia-day-in-the-waldorf-home/

Not every Waldorf School celebrates this festival, but some do.  Here is a link to one school’s description of how they celebrate this festival: festival life at Emerson Waldorf School

Here are some ideas for celebrating:

Here is an idea for making a felt Santa Lucia wreath with candles for your daughters:  http://teachinghandwork.blogspot.com/2009/11/santa-lucia.html  (boys typically have a Star Boy hat)

This is handwork for something beautiful for your home:

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/09/beautiful-santa-lucia-handwork/

Here is another beautiful craft tutorial for this day:  http://www.gingerbreadsnowflakes.com/node/28?page=1

Here are some images of especially cute Santa Lucia clothespin dolls:  http://www.flickr.com/groups/santaluciaclothespindolls/pool/with/3104786151/

Here is a special song to learn to sing:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/11/just-in-time-for-santa-lucia-day-a-song/

My post from last year has a recipe for the traditional buns:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/07/santa-lucia-day-in-the-waldorf-home/

Happy Celebrating!

Carrie

The Inner Work of Advent

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Last year, I did a whole series on the inner work of parenting and personal development during Advent.

Here is a round-up of these posts: 

Boundaries:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/02/cultivating-boundaries-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Holding the Space in Parenting:   https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/19/cultivating-how-to-hold-the-space-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Rhythm:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/18/cultivating-a-rhythm-for-your-personal-care-the-inner-work-of-advent/  and here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/01/cultivating-rhythm-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Increasing the Energy in Your Home:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/16/cultivating-the-energy-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Cultivating the Quiet in Your Home:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/15/cultivating-the-quiet-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Cultivating an Early Bedtime for Yourself:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/12/cultivating-the-early-bedtime-for-yourself-the-inner-work-of-advent/

“No Comment”:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/11/cultivating-no-comment-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Fun as a Family:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/09/cultivating-the-fun-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Staying Home:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/06/cultivating-the-ability-to-stay-home-the-inner-work-of-advent/

Gratitude:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/11/29/cultivating-gratitude-the-inner-work-of-advent/

These might be nice to print out and use during your meditation time during the Twelve Holy Nights.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Christine Natale’s Musings On Saint Nicholas Day and Starting New Holiday Traditions

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Christine Natale is well-known to many of you from her wonderful  blog  “Straw Into Gold”, found here:  http://threefoldwaldorf.blogspot.com/ or perhaps you know Christine’s wonderful stories.  She has a new book out on Lulu entitled “Fairy Tales” that you can find here:  http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/fairy-tales/12093029?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1.

Christine was kind enough to share with me an article she wrote about “Playing Saint Nicholas”; I thought it was a wonderful way to jump start your own ideas about creating new and meaningful holiday traditions that may be very, very different than what you have done in the past.

Without further ado, here are her wise words about her experience and a special link to her stories at St. Nicholas Center!

Thank you to Christine Natale for being so willing to share with my readers!  Happy St. Nicholas Day!

How to Play Saint Nicholas

A long time ago (late 70’s) when I was in my Foundation Year in New York, my first husband and I decided we wanted to “do” Christmas in a different way. We had both been raised with the “million presents” under the Christmas tree 1950s/ 60s/ 70s mentality and we knew we didn’t want that anymore.

We came up with our own way and continued it through our ten years together. We didn’t have any children, so we did it for each other, but we always thought it would be very much fun in a bigger family.

The first part is to “play Saint Nicholas” by baking loaves of Nicholas bread (any kind of bread you like – we put candied fruit and nuts in a yeast bread with an icing cross on top). Then we gift wrapped them and attached a card that just said “From Saint Nicholas”. Then we (yes, we really did this!) went out at night on Saint Nicholas Eve (December 5), hung them on people’s doors, rang the doorbell and ran! We never saw any reaction or heard about it at all later, but it was so much fun and adrenaline- pumping just to do! You could, of course give cookies or anything you want to. It was actually more fun than Trick-or-Treating! Many years later, I filled large gift bags with grocery goodies and left them on the doorsteps of some elderly friends. They suspected me, but I wouldn’t confess.

The next part was about our gifts to each other. We put up our tree on Christmas Eve and made a creche scene for under it. That was all – no presents. It was unbelievably hard to see it that way on Christmas morning after our lifelong conditioning, even though we knew what we were going to do!

For the next twelve days, the Twelve Holy Nights, Saint Nicholas left gifts for us!! Really! We never knew where they would pop up or when. One night, we went out to the movies and when we came home, there was a big easel in the living room for me. I never did find out how it got there! All the gifts had tags that said “From Saint Nicholas” and we hotly denied having given them to each other!

The idea, which would work especially well with children, I think, is that no one would really know who gave them the gift! But the person giving it would know, which would make it more fun in some ways for the giver than the receiver. Then, at dinner on Epiphany (Twelfth Night) everyone would have to guess who really gave their gifts and the real “St. Nicholas” would have to confess.

As I said, having grown up with “hoards” under the tree, it was really kind of awful the first year. But it got to be so much fun that we never looked back after that. Presents appeared in the refrigerator, under pillows, in the car, anywhere!

I have had many experiences, first with my own family of origin and then later as a nanny, where the children plow through the pile of presents and then burst into tears when there aren’t any more! It’s an overload and each gift doesn’t mean very much, really. Spreading it out over the Holy Nights makes Christmas last – it’s not all build up and bust. The gifts don’t need to be flashy and expensive (as you already know) and everyone doesn’t get one every day. Again, helping the children make things for each other and the other spouse and figuring out where and when to hide them keeps the momentum going.

One year, I was staying with a family in the Seattle area. I was trying to help a small school starting there and ended up meeting and living with a family of musicians with 4 (then 5) children. It happened that the night of St. Nicholas Eve, Pam and Philip had gone into Seattle to do a concert and I was taking care of the boys. Geoffrey was 8 or 9, Brenin was 6 or 7 and the twins, Morgan and Marshall were 5. Pam and Philip were and are very special and spiritual people. Pam called me and we realized that we hadn’t prepared anything. I really didn’t have anything except a loaf of cranberry nut bread I had baked and some shiny quarters. Well, I sliced and wrapped up the bread (the boys hadn’t seen me baking it) and put a slice and a quarter in their shoes. Luckily, I always travel with glitter and I sprinkled it from their shoes around the house and out the door into the forest (they live in a rural area). We also had a bunch of carrots with the leaves on and I left them for the donkey (partially eaten). Then, I wrote a scroll, with the messages for each person from Saint Nicholas, tied it with a red ribbon and left it with the shoes. Pam and Philip got in during the wee hours and the boys woke them up shortly after, full of the magic and wonder. It SO doesn’t matter how big or small the gift – it really is the magic that is important.

About Santa Claus – when I introduce Saint Nicholas I explain that he lived in the “Old World” called Europe, far across the ocean. When people moved to the “New World” on this side, Saint Nicholas needed a helper. So he asked Santa Claus to come to the children in America. After a while, people in the “New World” forgot about Saint Nicholas and about asking him to come. But Saint Nicholas is very magical and will come if the children and their parents ask him to. Sometimes, if Saint Nicholas has come to a family, Santa Claus doesn’t need to and he just sends his Christmas blessings as he carries on to visit the children who don’t remember about Saint Nicholas. The children always seemed pretty satisfied with this explanation.

In the Waldorf Kindergarten, I would send home a note asking the parents to send a pair of their children’s best shoes. We set up our circle of chairs before we left with our shoes on them. When we came back the next day, there was a golden nut, an orange, a cookie or small candy cane and a tiny present. I remember one year it was a little wooden top. And if Saint Nicholas couldn’t visit us in person, there was always a scroll tied with red ribbon for teacher to read what he had to tell each child.

I created a series of stories to use in the Kindergarten in the days leading up to Saint Nicholas Day on December 6. I couldn’t find stories to explain many of the European traditions such as the shoes, golden nut, etc., so I looked into my heart and came up with “fairy tale truth” which may not be worldly fact, but true in its meaning. These have been posted on the Saint Nicholas Center website for many years.

Saint Nicholas Stories

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=437

The picture on the Saint Nicholas website with the story number five is Saint Nicholas and Knecht Rupert visiting our Kindergarten in Seattle. Saint Nicholas brought a big golden book and had something written there for each of us, including me!

Thank you, Christine, for sharing your wisdom and experience here with us today.

Happy St. Nicholas Day and many blessings,

Carrie