Monthly Archives: December 2009

For Mothers In The New Year

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I hope this is the year you are “good enough”

I hope this is the year you have more joy than ever before.

I hope this is the year you investigate your faith and find a faithful community to join and pray with.

I hope this is the year you have the cleaner, more organized home that you have always wanted.

I hope this is the year you fall in love with your spouse again and again.

I hope this is the year you will enjoy your children and have fun with them.

I hope this is the year you will learn some new skills and enjoy the process.

I hope this is the year you will start telling stories to your kids instead of reading them all.

I hope this is the year you are outside and active as a family in all seasons.

I hope this is the year you sing to your children and teach them singing games.

I hope this is the year you draw closer to your own family; your own parents and siblings.

I  hope this is the year you spend time with the friends you hold dearest.

I hope this is the year you take a vacation, no matter how short and close to home.

I hope this is the year you start a garden.

I hope this is the year you set the tone in your home and become the Queen that you are.

I hope this is the year you will be the most gentle parent you can be.

I hope this is the year you forgive yourself.

I hope this is the year you become healthier by exercising and eating healthy foods.

I hope this is the year for all your dreams to come  true.

In 2010, I am committed to encourage and inspire you to do all of the above.  Thank you for reading my words and for all the gifts you bring here and  to your own families.  This blog is only a little over a year old, and has brought me much joy.

In Joy, and Happy New Year!

Love,

Carrie

The Right Tools in Parenting

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This morning as I was preparing breakfast, the two bigger kids (ages 8 and 5)  wanted to build a train track, but the chest of train tracks was in their little brother’s room, and since I had a crying baby I couldn’t lift it and bring it out to the spot they wanted to build the train track on.  Therefore, the oldest decided she could not wait for me to get the train tracks and she would do it little by little herself. After one trip into the bedroom to get tracks, she started saying, “But (little sister) NEVER helps!  She never does ANYTHING to clean up or help!  I guess I will do it all by myself!” and started yelling at her little sister to help her.  In return, her little sister, who just turned five two weeks ago, promptly did a great version of “NANAABOOBOO” and started with the wonderful name-calling that every four and early five year old seems to know how to do.

I actually felt amused, because it provided me this great moment of epiphany:  My oldest was using the wrong tools to try to get her little sister to help!  First of all, yelling at someone never works; second of all, even asking and reasoning with a four or five year old to help is not going to work because they are moving beings not reasoning beings; and third of all, every four or five year old is going to react to being yelled at by their sibling with a version of “nanaabooboo” because that is their level of maturity.

So stop to think!  How many times do we use the WRONG tools in parenting?  When you go to discipline a child, do you ever stop to think if this tool that you are about to use is the right one for the age of your child?  Do you understand where your child is developmentally? 

Or are you flying about with no tools?  Reacting by yelling is essentially flying without a toolbox.  Yelling typically results from frustration, so double check if your expectations are truly in line with your child’s age.  Are they?

The younger child did end up helping her big sister get out the train tracks.  I gave the older one ownership of the problem (she could have waited for me to help her or she could do it herself happily or she could turn it into a game and involve  the younger one in carrying the tracks).   I guided the older one when she got stuck in frustration, and helped involve the younger one.  This is the job of a parent; it is not to say “work it out” until you are certain they have the tools to “work it out”.

Yelling and blaming and spewing frustration at your child are not parenting tools, even though we have all been there and done these things.  Be easy with yourself, and forgive yourself for these things that are reactions and not guiding.   Being a gentle parent is so important, but luckily our children give us many chances to show better sides of ourselves!

Remember movement, games, reasonable expectations, a cheerful attitude on your part, restitution on the child’s part if something did not go well.  There are wonderful tools for a wonderful future adult.

Much love,

Carrie

More About Celebrating The Twelve Days of Christmas

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Reader Juliane from Sweden has a beautiful blog with many activities and stories for The Twelve Days of Christmas.  Here is a link to Day One:  http://frokenskicklig.blogspot.com/2009/12/stars-twelve-days-of-christmas-number.html.  Follow along with me!

Thank you Juliane!

Carrie

Favorite Waldorf Resource #5: Three Resources To Help You Get More Movement Into Your Homeschool

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Okay, so I cheated and decided to put several resources into one favorites slot because I think movement within your homeschool is that important.  I am certain (hopefully) that you have heard about using movement for teaching math actively in the grades for Waldorf, but I wanted to point out some perhaps lesser-known links for movement in the grades.

The first link is for The Association For A Healing Education’s links and articles section:  http://www.healingeducation.org/resources.htm.  There are many great articles regarding development of the twelve senses, including my very favorite article regarding the lower four senses by Nettie Fabrie.

The second resource is this Waldorf-inspired website:  http://www.movementforchildhood.com/index.htm.   There are articles there as diverse as movement standards for Third Grade, what to do about team sports, how to use copper rods, and, my favorite, blocks for the Early Grades for movement:  http://www.movementforchildhood.com/classroom.pdf.  An overall excellent resource.  My only fear is that those without a movement background and without a grounding in Waldorf Education would find this material hard to integrate into their homeschools.  Please let me know if the movement blocks would be usable for those of  you who do not have a movement background and for those of you who do not have the books “Take Time” or “The Extra Lesson.”

The third resource in this category is the book “Movement Journeys and Circle Adventures” by Nancy Blanning and Laurie Clark.  I included this book here simply because many children in Kindergarten have siblings in the grades, and your Kindergartner can be the back door for your Grades child to experience movement if you can teach them to lead these movement circles.  You have to love the wonderful advantage of homeschooling in this sense; that your older child can experience what the younger child does on a different level!

At any rate, the introduction of this book discusses the difficulties today’s child faces in regard to movement, the twelve senses, the role of pentatonic music in these circle adventures, how to set up the environment and use the book, a listing and description of developmental movement exercises and the equipment list.

There are four movement journeys for Autumn, four for Winter, six for Spring/Summer and two for any season.

This book could provide you with some challenges as the teacher though; the circles are typically four to six pages long; there is music involved so for those of you who cannot read music that would be a challenge; you must work to find the authentic gesture within the characters of these circles.  However, I think these circles and movement themes provide a great chance for you to improve your own skills!  Please see this link to order this resource:  http://www.waldorfbooks.com/edu/curriculum/eurythmy_games_gymnastics.htm

I have already mentioned “Joyful Movement” in this series of blog posts, one can refer to that post here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/17/favorite-waldorf-resource-1-joyful-movement/

Peace,

Carrie

Favorite Waldorf Resource #4: The Files of Marsha Johnson’s Yahoo Group

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Marsha Johnson is a veteran  Waldorf teacher who has put together file after file after file of FREE lesson plans outlining the whole year for each grade, outlining specific day-by-day lessons for certain blocks, and she has whole files devoted to festival preparation and celebration and handwork ideas.

She has a deep anthroposophic understanding and offers so much wisdom and advice for free on her Yahoo!Group.

This is an especially wonderful place to start your Waldorf homeschooling journey as Mrs. Johnson has files specifically devoted to how to start with Waldorf if you are new.  There are also many topics of interest just for parenting in general and discipline from a Waldorf perspective.

I encourage you to utilize this free resource!  To join, please see this link:  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/waldorfhomeeducators/

Many blessings,

Carrie

Favorite Waldorf Resource #3: For Inner Work as A Parent: Melisa Nielsen’s “Be A Beacon Program”

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Okay, this is both a resource for Waldorf homeschooling,  for parenting, and your own inner journey as a human being!   I think ALL parents could benefit from this program and work, not just homeschooling mothers (although there is something wonderful about someone who understands the particular needs of the homeschooling mother!)  Melisa’s Nielsen’s “Be A Beacon” program rolled out this year, and it is a wonderful mix of members-only blog posts, members-only newsletters, members-only blog radio shows, worksheets, meditation exercises.

Essentially, if you do not know where to start with inner work, this is a great place to start!  All the worksheets and radio shows and such are archived for members only, so you have not missed a thing.  This would be a wonderful present for yourself or a friend for the New Year in order to improve your own parenting and teaching.

The topics have covered such diverse things as biography, temperament, marriage, relationships with family and friends, setting boundaries, meditation exercises and setting up an inner work program for yourself. 

It is easy to listen to the Internet radio show whilst you are knitting or doing something else at night, and very inspiring.  Melisa draws on not only Steiner, but across a number of spiritual teachers and world religions and sacred texts.  She is a Christian mother, and I appreciate that in her work, but she has a way of drawing in people of all faiths as we explore how to “Be A Beacon” for our families, how to actually make our house a home, how to be a better wife and mother.

For those of you who are learning how to be “The Queen” of your home (remember that post here? https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/19/cultivating-how-to-hold-the-space-the-inner-work-of-advent/), this might be a wonderful gift to yourself in order to jump-start that process.

Here is the link:  http://site.beaconmama.com/

Many blessings,

Carrie

Waldorf 101: Do I Have To Be An Anthroposophist To Homeschool With Waldorf?

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Do I think you have to be an anthroposophist in order  to work with Waldorf Education at home?  No.  Do I think you should read Steiner’s lectures regarding Waldorf Education?  Yes.  Do I think you must have a truly deeper understanding of Steiner’s ideas as far as anthroposophy  in order to be a really, really good Waldorf Home Educator?

Possibly.  And I say possibly because I think in the home environment one can choose how much or how little one wants to work with the some of Steiner’s views alongside our own faith for our own spiritual journey. 

Here is an old post regarding “What is Anthroposophy” that Donna Simmons of Christopherus Homeschool assisted me in writing:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/09/04/what-is-anthroposophy/

The relationship between anthroposophy, religion, and Waldorf comes up as people are drawn to exploring the spiritual nature of the basis of  Waldorf Education.  One of the major questions is this dual- sided coin of:  1.  Is Waldorf Education Christian?  or 2.  Is Waldorf Education Pagan? (or the corollary questions of  is Waldorf Education compatible with Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism?)

And because others say it far better than I ever could, here is a great post by Donna Simmons regarding “Anthroposophy, Religion and Waldorf” here :   http://christopherushomeschool.typepad.com/blog/2005/12/anthroposophy_r.html

She has a small section regarding Judaism and anthroposophy that is interesting, and talks about how Christians and Pagans will find things here that resonate with them, and perhaps things that don’t! 

 Here is an article by Eugene Schwartz relating anthroposophy and The Kindergarten Years:  http://knol.google.com/k/anthroposophy-and-waldorf-education-the-kindergarten-years#

and Mr. Schwartz had this to say regarding anthroposophy in Waldorf Education and whether all Waldorf teachers needed to be anthroposophists as well:  http://www.southerncrossreview.org/41/schwartz.htm

 If one concentrates solely on the lectures by Rudolf Steiner as related to education, and there is a page of them here at Bob and Nancy’s bookshop:  http://www.waldorfbooks.com/edu/steiner_waldorf.htm (beginning works) and here (more in-depth works):  http://www.waldorfbooks.com/edu/waldorf_depth.htm, that is probably the best place to start.  You can then decide how this relates  to your use of Waldorf Education within your own home. 

This is a complex subject that deserves pondering.  Where are you in your journey with this?

Many blessings,

Carrie

Favorite Waldorf Resource #2: “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids” by Kim John Payne and Lisa Ross

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Kim John Payne postulates answers to several of the more pressing parenting issues of our time and opens his book with the premise that “As parents, we’re the architects of our family’s daily lives.  We build a structure for those we love by what we choose to do together, and how we do it……You can see what a family holds dear from the pattern of their everyday lives.”

He goes on to say, “This book is about realigning our daily lives with the dreams with the pace and the promise of childhood.  Realigning our real lives with the dreams we hold for our families.”

This is an excellent book, full of the things I talk about on this blog all the time.  How did he read my mind, LOL?

In the United States, this Australian is a fairly well-known (in Waldorf circles at least!) educator  and speaker.  His website is here:  http://www.thechildtoday.com/About/ 

This book really is a wonderful book for all parents, and should be at the top of your gift-giving list for any parents you know. 

He talks about children in this book that are suffering from what he terms “cumulative stress reaction” (CSR), and how this can be helped by simplifying and not over-parenting our children because we are anxious about life.  He discusses how a child who is sliding to one end or the other on a behavior spectrum (a normal reaction to normal stress) can be assisted by simplifying. Children do learn from the normal stresses of life and build their own character and emotional intelligence from these stresses, but at the same time children do need some protection from adult information and worries, from so many choices and an ove -packed schedule of activities.

He talks about the concept of “soul fever”; how a child may be emotionally  overwhelmed, and how simplification can help this immensely and re-set this pattern (and of particular interest, he gives concrete examples of how to do this). 

He has a whole chapter on toys and the “power of less” as he calls it and includes a ten-point checklist to help you decide which toys to discard.  He has a whole chapter on how to establish rhythm, including meal and bedtime simplicity ideas. He has a whole chapter devoted to the idea of  balance in schedules and outside activities.  He addresses what to do about team sports and martial arts,  what to do about technology and adult information,and how to talk less to your children with very concrete examples.

This leads to my favorite quote (well, one of them):  “One way to “talk less” is to not include children in adult concerns and topics of conversation.”  He writes, “It’s  a misnomer to think that we are “sharing” with our children when we include them in adult conversations about adult concerns.  Sharing suggests an equal and mutual exchange, one that is impossible for a child to offer and unfair for an adult to expect…….”  He also makes a great point at the end of this section:  “There is one more point.  When there are topics that you don’t address with your child, they carry an image of you, and of adulthood, that retains an element of mystery.  When you have an inner life, your children have a model of self that is both loving and unique, an individual.   They’ll come to realize that there are things about you they don’t know, things that they may learn over time.”

I know attached parents and homeschooling parents may balk a bit at this notion, and I know it is difficult when you are with your children 24/7, but I urge you to keep part of your life and the adult concerns in your life for yourself.  You really don’t need to share every detail with your under-7 child or even your over-7 child!  You can still be a loving and attached parent without over-sharing too much information with your child.  Your child wants to love you, your child wants to RESPECT you and look up to you as this loving authority who can lasso the moon!  Give them that piece of their childhood, it is so vital and important!

Sorry to digress, onto the rest of the book.  Actually, I think I will just give you the link to it on Amazon so you can buy it and read it for yourself.  Here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Simplicity-Parenting-Extraordinary-Calmer-Happier/dp/0345507975/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261878069&sr=8-1

We are also having a great discussion about this book on Donna Simmons’ Waldorf at Home Forum, please do come join us!  Here is the link: http://waldorf-at-home.com/  

Many blessings,

Carrie

Inner Work for The Holy Nights

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What inner work have you done for The Holy Nights so far?  This is one thing I have been playing with, and perhaps you will find it of use.  This was inspired by Lynn Jericho’s meditation for The First Holy Night found here:  http://innerchristmas2009.blogspot.com/2009/12/december-25th-first-holy-night.html  I am going to work with this meditation throughout the Holy Nights this year.

I was very inspired by the idea of drawing what my soul inhales – what have I taken into my soul this year?  I found I took in much joy, laughter. support and love from my friends, love from my children, intimacy and love and laughter from my spouse, warmth, the quiet and stillness of nature.  I made a very conscious effort this year to let go,  plan for things that bring me joy, plan things with friends and to be easy with myself.  Overall, this is one of most joyful years I have experienced in my life and in my 17 years of marriage.   But it would also be honest to draw the moments of extreme sadness and despair for a friend ‘s experiences, moments of feeling anger or feeling overwhelmed, and also to draw those “steely” moments of intense determination and preservation.  What did I breathe out to those around me?  What did I breathe out to my spouse, my husband, to my Beloved Creator?  What did I breathe out to my friends?  To strangers?  These things I will draw tonight.

And over the duration of these Holy Nights, I will be drawing what I want to take into my soul this year,and most of all. what I want to breathe out this year.  In the past two years, I really worked with being easy with myself (essentially, being “good enough”, not perfect! Can any of you relate to that at all?)  This year I added being able to “let go”.  One thing I am really meditating on is just being able to listen with “no comment.”  (Do you all remember the “No Comment” post here:https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/11/cultivating-no-comment-the-inner-work-of-advent/    )

I will be drawing and then moving into wet-on-wet painting to express this.

So, what have you taken in this year?  What have you breathed out to those around you?  What do you want to take in more of this year, and how will you make this happen?  What will breathe out to those around you this year and how will you do this?  What will your inner work look like this year?  What will your parenting and your homeschooling look like this year?

If you feel inclined, please do share what work you are doing!

In Gratitude for You on this Special Day,

Carrie

A Lovely New Waldorf Blog to Watch

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This blog is written by Meredith, who is a Waldorf teacher and also on a Waldorf homeschool list I am on, and she is gathering reviews of curricula and books along with posting her own notes about things.

See here:  http://www.waldorfreviews.com/

A lovely blog, with lovely photographs by this kind-hearted teacher.  Thanks for sharing with all of  us Meredith!

Many blessings,

Carrie