Monthly Archives: November 2009

Waldorf 101: Setting Up Your Family For Homeschooling Success

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Many people are initially attracted to Waldorf due to the “gnomes and fairies” aspect (or repelled due to this!), the nature aspect, the emphasis on handwork….What would you say that these are the things to be least concerned with for making your home and your family a successful place for Waldorf homeschooling?

Please consider my list of things to think about in preparation for or in conjunction with Waldorf homeschooling:

1. Prepare your soul – do your own inner work to gain confidence for this journey.  If this is the right decision for your children, for your family, then this will carry you through the not-so peaceful days.

2.  Create your space – you do not need a lot of toys!  A Nature Basket, Table or Shelf would be nice, and a space to create art and have movement and tell stories.  A storage cabinet would be nice – I like the wardrobes from IKEA myself.  For Grades children, a table would be nice and you can never have enough blackboard space for a Grades child!

3.  Look at your rhythm in relation to sleep and meal times – when do you get up, when do you go to sleep, do your children have set rising times and asleep times?  When do you eat and how is food prepared and cleaned up?  How is the house cleaned?

4.  Look at your family culture – what do you all do together as a family?  What screen time goes on (computer, TV, otherwise) for ALL members of the household?

5.  Look at your outside time – does the family hike, farm, garden, do yard work, have animals to take care of?

6.   How does the home “feel”?  Loving, warm, joyous or tense and strained?  How do we model speaking to one another for our children, how do we show each other thoughtfulness, generosity, compassion, humor?

These things are much, much more important than having a bunch of wooden toys around your home!  Think about these questions, work with the answers, meditate on these thoughts and see what comes to you.

Love,

Carrie

An Anthroposophic View of Walking

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Anthroposophy views the tasks of the child’s first three years to be learning to walk in the first year; speech in the second year; and the emergence of thinking in the third year (and yes, a later post will address why we start academics around age 7 when thinking begins to emerge before that time).  Today we are going to look specifically at walking and why this is important in anthroposophic terms.

I am currently re-reading Karl Konig’s “The First Three Years of The Child:  Walking, Speaking, Thinking.”  For those of you new to Waldorf and anthroposophy, Karl Konig was a physician who founded the Camphill Movement in Scotland in 1939.  The Camphill Movement includes schools for children who are differently abled and also villages for adults who are  differently abled.

Konig talks about the progression to being upright as starting with controlled eye movements amidst that generalized chaos of random lower extremity movement that begins in the first few days of life.  The sequence of walking begins from the head down, and Konig remarks that “This process seems to be patterned after that of actual birth.  Just as in birth the head is the first part of the body, so here , out of the womb of dissociated movements, coordinated movement is born and oriented step by step toward standing and walking.  At the end of the first year the process of the birth of movement is completed.”

The head occupies an important place with learning to walk because as long as the head is “restless and wobbly”, as Konig puts it, walking cannot be attained.  Other important things leading up to the development of walking and seen in newborn includes a positive support response (ie, a newborn will take weight on his or her legs when the soles of the newborn’s feet come into contact with the ground), a stepping response and a crawling response.  These responses disappear and then come back as the true crawling, walking and standing.  Konig writes, “The ability to stand, the reflex walking movements, crawling and the athetotic movements of premature births differ fundamentally from the new phenomenon of walking.  They must disappear in the course of the first year to make walking possible.”

Most of all, anthroposophy sees walking as very important for several reasons.  Walking upright differentiates man from animals.  “Endowed as they are with a horizontally oriented spine, the animals remain part of the world.  They are overwhelmed by sense impressions and the abyss between self and world does not open.”  In anthroposophic terms, walking is also related to the ability to control feelings and moods and also the conscious use of memory.

Happy hmusings for your baby’s first year of life,

Carrie

Be The Beacon!

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An announcement from Melisa Nielsen:  http://waldorfjourney.typepad.com/a_journey_through_waldorf/2009/11/big-announcement-be-a-beacon.html

This is essentially a new program regarding inner work for mothers that will look through many spiritual traditions and look at the philosophical works of Steiner and others to help you, the mother, learn how to be a light for your family.

Here are the details from Melisa from the link above, please go and check it out:

“Monthly Membership includes:

  • Special access to newly recorded shows available only to those participating in the program.  These shows are meant to get you started on this journey and to get you thinking about what inner work means to you. These recordings include:
    • Welcome to “Be a Beacon”
    • Catalysts for Change
    • Personal Gurus
    • The Importance of Inner Work
    • How to Meditate
  • Bi weekly lessons and discussions delivered via private yahoo group
  • 2 monthly private live radio shows/interactive chats
  • Archives available for duration of membership
  • Planning and goal setting tools geared directly to Waldorf homeschooling
  • In depth inner work study covering many faith groups, including in depth Steiner and other modern inner work experts.

Some of the monthly themes include: getting started right, relationships, balancing, knowing when to cut back and how, Steiner’s basic 6 in depth,  festivals and inner work meanings, exploring biography, mediation through Waldorf art and so much more.

When you join, you will also receive recommended reading and tools to get you started along with an invitation to join the private group.” – end of quote

THIS STARTS THIS THURSDAY, November 12th, 2009 so please do go and register if you are interested!

And please let Melisa know I sent you!

Blessings,

Carrie

A Mouthodometer

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(Many thanks to my dear friend Melissa for thinking up the concept of a mouthodometer!  Love to you!)

Okay, a mouthodemeter does not really exist, but wouldn’t it be great to have a little pedometer-type gadget that (instead of the number of steps one takes in a day) tracks  the number of words one uses?  Maybe it could have a shrill alarm when we exceed the word limit per day!    Beyond that, have you ever noticed that many us just open the floodgates of words when we are upset?  Verbosity at the highest level!

Those of you new to this blog are probably wondering what I am talking about, and what  this has to do with mindful parenting.   Perhaps these back posts will help:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/04/14/stop-talking/

and https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/12/31/the-need-to-know/

and this one:https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/19/using-our-words-like-pearls/

What our children need are LESS words.  Logical thought starts to come in around age 14, so why do we waste so many words trying to reason with our children?  Why do we  talk to your three and four year old as if they have the same adult consciousness as we do?  Why are we talking to our children as if they are another adult friend?

I guess this is where I differ from what I perceive to be the foundation of gentle discipline in the AP movement.  If you perceive your child to be “good”, just less experienced, it makes sense to treat your child almost as an equal with an almost  equal say in things and being able to “talk” your child into good decision-making.  They are learning, but we can converse with them at perhaps a simpler level than a teenager- but we can still converse, right?

I don’t fully buy into this assumption, and one thing that bothered me after I read all the AP gentle discipline books was that almost the same techniques were used for a five-year-old versus a sixteen-year-old.

I have more of an affinity for the anthroposophic view of the under-7 child.  This views the child as a neutral party; a spiritual being on a spiritual path who is learning about right and wrong.  The child is seen as having an entirely different consciousness than an adult.  The small child lives in their will, in their impulses, and therefore they need guidance through movement and imagination.  Because I see the child as learning, I don’t especially expect a child to choose a behavior and develop self-control based upon “good or bad.”   That comes in later!   I recognize that most small children just do things on impulse without thinking. I do have expectations of a child’s behavior, but I try to have realistic expectations.

Most of all, I try to think things out ahead of time, control the parts of the equation that are in my hands, and then be ready to PHYSICALLY help my child.  Less words, more action.  Less talking, more doing.  Following through 500 times until it sticks.

It would be much easier to parent from the couch and to yell at everyone, right?  I have moments where I too, grow weary.    That is when I garner support from my spouse, my family, my closest and dearest friends.  That is when I change the scenery and we all head outside. That is when I stop to breathe.  And I am getting better at asking for help as I get older. 

Stop talking.  Your children don’t need an adult lecture or sarcasm.  They need humor, follow-through, consistency and the chance to make it right.

Try it today,

Carrie

We’re Still Here!

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Good Morning Everyone,

If you have found this site, welcome!   Unfortunately, we have had a technical problem with our Domain Registration the result of which is the temporary loss of our domain name: http://theparentingpassageway.com

We are working diligently with WordPress to resolve the issue and we hope to be back up within the next 24 hours.    We will be making some big changes in the future, so please continue to visit and tell all your friends about us as well!

Some Quick Thoughts on First Grade Knitting

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My daughter is not in first grade, but our knitting really stalled last year, so she just recently completed a sachet and a scarf under the guidance of a Waldorf handwork teacher who is teaching a grades handwork class for our Waldorf home school group.  I actually think perhaps our handwork stalled just for the reason that my child could start in this group this year and learn such wonderful things under such a fantastic handwork teacher!

  • However,  I  do think first and second grade knitting can be the same sorts of projects, so here are some things I have learned and observed and want to share with you regarding knitting:
  • Consider casting on for the first project yourself and letting the child just do the knit stitch first.  With other projects you can cast on part of it, and your child can do part of it.
  • Consider a small first project, and then a bigger project along with several smaller side projects that the child can work on when they are tired of working on said “big project”
  • Know how to fix common mistakes; it is important to be able to salvage your child’s work
  • Consider the social aspect of handwork and knitting; are there other children around that might like to learn to knit?  Part of knitting is the friendships that form for the children.
  • Do not underestimate the importance of the things leading up to  knitting: seeing sheep, washing and carding wool, seeing the carded wool turned into yarn, the dyeing of yarn, finger knitting chains,  making slip knots, making knitting needles. 
  • Know how to sew with yarn for your knitting projects.
  • Have your verses and songs at the ready for knitting! 

If you have a child in Kindergarten, you should be working on your knitting skills now so you can teach your child come First Grade!  If your child is in the grades, please consider learning how to knit as this is an important skill for your child to learn within the framework of the Waldorf curriculum.  If your child goes to school, please consider teaching knitting to your child and giving your child time to do knitting and other kinds of handwork after school or on weekends.  It is very important for boys and for girls!

Peace,

Carrie

Siblings Are The Most Precious Gift

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There has been a sweet scene playing out at my house this week.  My four-year-old is learning how to ride a bike with no training wheels; she has been working on this for awhile but we didn’t ride much in the heat of summer and now we are back at it.  Anyway, the sweet part is that my eight-year-old has taken over the job of the initial balancing and getting the bike going for her sister so I can sit and nurse the baby.  She decided to do this of her own accord, simply because she likes to help her sister.  She will let the end of the bike go and shout, “Mommy!  Look at Sophie go!”  She is so proud of her sister, and I am so proud of both of them.

Those of you who know me in person know my mantra that “a sibling is the greatest gift you can give your child.”  I truly believe these children not only choose us as parents, but also pick their brothers and sisters.

Siblings are the first place where one learns about peer relationships.  Even on the most trying days when siblings are fighting and bickering, they still love each other and you still love all of them! 

Isn’t it wonderful how different each and every child can be?  Oh, we know in our heart as we go to have our second child that they will be different people, yet it can still be shocking that they really are different!  We have to figure out each new addition to our family for that reason.

Some of you have heard my theory that “the role has been filled.”  In other words, I have observed that in families it seems as if one child is a “high-needs” child (I am not in love with that term, but you all know what I mean when I say that), then it seems the next child realizes that and does something completely  different!  

As attached parents, we often ask ourselves how can we foster siblings who are attached to each other?  I have a few thoughts on this one:

1.  Co-sleeping siblings, and as they grow, siblings who share a room.  I think this is very important and goes a long way in making up some of the daytime hurts if those occur.

2.  Fostering a sense of caretaking of the youngest by the oldest.  This is important, because little ones appreciate being assisted, and then will come to the aid of the oldest through imitation.

3.  When your children are over 9 and truly have the skills to “work it out”, let them try.  Intervene as needed, but work together to solve the problem.

4.  Have a family mission statement, family meetings and put forth the family as a team idea in words and action.

5.  Choose activities in nature that require teamwork – hiking, camping, orienteering.

6.  Spend quantity time together – and yes, I think homeschooling is a huge help in this regard because instead of being separated by age at school, the siblings are together all day.

7.  Some siblings get along better when they have some separate friends or activities, depending upon the spacing of the children.

8.  Expect your children to get along, visualize your children getting along, and hold that idea within the space.  My two oldest have their share of bickering, but they know our home is a place of kindness.  I recognize that sometimes there can be a fine line in teasing fun, but there are limits!

*Tandem nursing – I didn’t put this directly on the list because I feel tandem nursing can be a different experience for each family.  Some mothers find that they are indeed nursing two or three children, but don’t enjoy nursing them all at the same time and that separate nursing sessions work better for them.  Some tandem  nursing mothers told me their children fought over the same breast and had other sharing challenges around nursing.  Some mothers have the most wonderful, beautiful, heart-warming experiences possible with nursing children holding hands whilst nursing together.  So, I think it can enhance a sibling relationship but I don’t view it as “your children will never be close if they don’t tandem nurse.”

Most of all, maintain your “ho-hum” attitude regarding your children’s relationship.  Trust it will grow in love as you set forth this expectation and example.  Let it grow!

Love,

Carrie

Links for Dangers of Media for Children

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This is a great article that describes the phenomenon of “age compression” as viewed by a Kindergarten teacher and some things she did to combat this:

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/archive/23_03/six233.shtml

Here is an article from TIME:

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1914450-2,00.html

The sad statistics regarding how much media children are watching:

http://blog.nielsen.com/nielsenwire/media_entertainment/tv-viewing-among-kids-at-an-eight-year-high/

The best antidote you can provide to your children besides the obvious step of limiting media exposure from screens includes providing opportunity for time in nature and plenty of time and open ended toys for imaginative play.

Peace,

Carrie