Marsha Johnson has a document within her FILES section of her Yahoo!Group (Waldorfhomeeducators@yahoogroups.com to join) entitled something along the lines of “Use Your Words Like Pearls”. In it she addresses using vocabulary, transitions in the home, many different aspects of the wonderful language we live in and speak every day.
This phrase took on new meaning for me today though. A thread started over at Melisa Nielsen’s A Little Garden Flower Yahoo!Group (firstname.lastname@example.org) in response to my post from yesterday entitled, “Raising Peaceful Children.” One thing that was mentioned is how adults frequently relate to children these days is through sarcasm.
I have said this in other blog posts, and I will say it again: Children do not need sarcasm at ANY age. Small children do not understand sarcasm (but they will imitate it, and then parents wonder why their children are speaking to them so disrespectfully!) Teenagers have enough of it on their own without you adding to it! Children and adults of all ages truly need you to use your words as the pearls they are!
Many adults joke about the amount of sarcasm they use (“Hey, I had to have my soul removed to make room for all this sarcasm!”) and it also appears to be more prevalent in some parts of the United States than others. Sorry Northeasterners, I am from the Northeast and I find that up there people are sarcastic without even thinking about it. It just seems to be how everyone speaks. It can be challenging to change this engrained and entrenched communication patterns. However, let’s try!
I have a challenge for you today:
Just for today, let’s think about communicating in real ways with our children, our spouses, our family members and our friends. Let’s eliminate sarcasm and speak to one another they way we should. Let’s tell each other directly what we need. We are all unique individuals and no matter how well we know one another, we cannot expect others to fully understand our own individuality and read our minds! Ask for what you need from others! Make a request! All that can happen is that person may say no!
Just for today, let’s try to listen more than we speak. Let’s try to let people come to their own conclusions and ideas rather than force-feeding a solution. Let’s help children who under the age of 9 come up with solutions to problems with other children through modeling, through example and through help rather than just telling them to “work it out”.
Just for today, let’s try to be compassionate and open to the world and not so jaded. The world is still a beautiful place, even if you have forgotten that it is so.
Just for today, let’s slow down enough so we have time with our children. Let’s ask for help so we don’t have to take our children to 4 different stores to run errands. Schedule time to just be present. Play a game with your children, and enjoy them!
Just for today, let’s evaluate whether or not the amount of things we are doing inside and outside the home is truly feasible for any one human being and let’s brainstorm ways to stop.
Just for today, let’s limit our time with the screens and go be with our family members.
Just for today, let’s use our words with each other like pearls and remember that we are all tender and precious human beings.
Love to you all,