“Drawing With Your Four to Eleven Year Old”

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This is a book written by Donna Simmons, and people ask me about it all the time.  I think so many parents are intimidated by the drawing part of the Waldorf curriculum, so I thought I would run through what this book has to offer. 

The introduction talks about how this book is a “short introduction to drawing with your child [that] is a very simple and basic glimpse at how parents might take methods used in Waldorf schools and work with them at home.”  What I appreciate here is her acknowledgement that home with Waldorf is different than Waldorf school, and understanding of the intimidation that many parents feel with drawing and the fact that the grades material is taught through artistic approaches.

The next section talks about “Materials” and outlines the specifics of block and stick crayons, pencils, other materials, paper and what suppliers to consider getting supplies from.    She then addresses the question most parents ask which is why do all the children’s pictures look the same in the beginning?  Why do all the children draw the same picture?  She writes that, “An important foundation to Waldorf education is the deeply held belief that it is imperative to work with the child at his appropriate stage of learning.  Young children, up to 6 or 7, learn best by imitation and so when the children paint or draw they do what their teacher does.”  There is further guidance about the use of Main Lesson Books and the drawing that may accompany main lessons in the grades. She also provides notes on outlining and painting and then moves into talking about drawing with each grade.

Kindergarten – there is a small amount of information that probably will not be satisfying to the mother new to Waldorf whose oldest child is of Kindergarten age (because there should be more, right??) :),  but will be perfectly satisfying to mothers who have been through the Kindy phase and realize how drawing is a small part of the daily rhythm at home usually at this point.  LOL.  My main advice to the mother of a Kindergartner is to simply slow down.  The artistic things can be important in the Waldorf Kindergarten at home, but remember, the main focus should be on rhythm, fostering of gratitude, getting your child into their body and protecting those 12 senses, along with the development of YOUR skills in different areas of the curriculum.    Please do see some of the Waldorf Kindergarten posts on this blog for ideas!

First Grade – Donna talks about making borders for the Main Lesson Book, drawing of figures and also an introduction to form drawing. 

Second Grade – Donna talks about the transition to making drawings of more detail and provides examples of Main Lesson Book pages to draw from.

Third Grade – She talks about how to work with drawing in conjunction with some of the Third Grade blocks of building, Old Testament, and provides examples of how to draw animals and the habitats the animals live in. 

Fourth Grade – Donna talks about drawing maps, the use of proportions and blocking out pictures. 

Fifth Grade – Drawing becomes more realistic and challenging in the Fifth Grade Waldorf curriculum.  She talks about free-hand geometric drawings and the role of drawing in the ancient blocks, and of course the drawing that is prevalent in the botany blocks.

She then has notes about “Looking Ahead”.  Sixth Grade is about perspective drawing, and mastering charcoal pencils. She provides several pages of resources regarding Basic Waldorf Education, Form Drawing and Painting, and Drawing.

In short, this little book is about 36 pages long and provides a fine overview of the progression of drawing in the curriculum with color examples and some detailed techniques.  I am personally glad to have this book on my shelf because it is a fast resource I can turn to the know what kinds of drawings I can expect with each grade and quick examples of how this might look for each grade.  Another book I can also recommend is “Drawing with Block Crayons”, which is more intensive in techniques but also requires you to really sit down with the book and work with it – you cannot just leaf through that book and absorb it, LOL. 

I think this book is worth checking out, as is “Drawing with Block Crayons”; however be forewarned you will need other resources for Form Drawing.

Hope that helps,

Carrie

More Inspirations from Tapestries: Ages 35-42

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“In our late thirties or early forties we meet the results of our actions in the first half of life.  Up until now we have in some ways still been children, but at this stage we become fully responsible for what we do.  The spiritual world has completed its formative influence and withdraws.  The “I”, our unique individuality, has thoroughly penetrated our soul life, and we stand solidly on the earth.  We may feel the pull of gravity, experience a certain heaviness.  We may feel moments of intense inner loneliness, even that we are “dying” inwardly.  We cannot approach life the way we previously have.  It just doesn’t work any more.”

-From Tapestries by Betty Staley, page 149.

  • What she is writing about is the notion during this phase that no one can reassure us, solve our problems, shield us.  We fully experience the consequences of our own decisions.
  • These are the years we are most cut off from inspiration, from ideals, from the things we believed in during our twenties.  How we deal with this stage of life will influence how we move through our forties, fifties, sixties and beyond.
  • We are looking for meaning in what we have done.  We are asking ourselves if we should change, if we are satisfied, what do we really want to do with the time we have on the earth.
  • This period can be a time of physical change and loss of youth.  “It’s an odd feeling when we look in the mirror and begin to see a resemblance to one of our parents, “ the author writes on page 151.
  • But more than physical changes, there are psychological changes.  We feel more mature, like we understand more in life, but also more uncertain.
  • “This period can be a time of loss, doubt, loneliness and self-examination:  a time, above all for questioning everything.”

Special to Women: 

  • Inner doubt can be a hallmark of this phase.  “Where she felt confidence before, she lacks it now. Where did it go?  If she is out in the working world, esteemed by colleagues and excited about her work, it may be different.  Especially if she waited to start her career until after she had children, or her studies went on for a long time, or she lived with her parents and only began her career in her thirties, the crisis may not occur until her mid forties.”
  • For mothers that have been stay-at-home mothers, a woman may feel her life is dull and that she isn’t sure if she likes her kids or her spouse.

Special to Men:

  • “Some men get into their stride during this time, while others begin to feel less and less sure.  Much depends how they evaluate their work-situation.” 
  • Betty Staley writes about how marriages often go through chaos when men are in this phase of life.   Daniel Levinson calls this period for men the “pivotal decade” which he coincides roughly age forty to fifty or forty-five to fifty-five.  Some men panic during this time period and this panic can manifest itself in impulsive decisions. 
  • Betty Staley writes on page  156, “When a man begins to feel middle-age creeping up on him, his strongest urge is to “escape” it, for he has an unconscious sense that facing it will require inner change.  This is even more intense in him than the woman. “
  • She writes about the challenges that men face here, sometimes leading to “the twenty year fracture” – the point where marriages that had seemed solid suddenly collapse.   “Since many marriages today are taking place in the couple’s thirties, the “twenty-years fracture” may occur in their fifties.”  She also adds that a couple is “in for serious trouble when either separately or together they cannot find new spiritual  content in their lives.  If they can experience new purpose in their relationship and become conscious of their struggle they may work their way through to new aims.”

(This really struck me personally; nurturing your marriage is so very important.  There have been some blog posts on this if you search the tag box under “challenges in marriage” and I will definitely write some more about this important subject.  If your marriage and family collapses, you cannot focus on homeschooling.  Your marriage is vitally important, do not make the mistake of making your children your marriage.  Your partner is who you are married to , not your children.   Sometimes I see pictures of a family, and it is only the mother and child with the husband not pictured (and there is a husband in the family) or I see a picture of the family and all the kids are crowded around the mom and the dad is sitting of to the side in the family portrait.  It always gives me a funny feeling inside.  Ladies, do not shut dads out in the younger years of parenting and then expect things to be different later on (and yes, I am aware some dads are just not involved no matter how much the mother tries to help dad be involved).  However, if you set the tone in your home think about how you nurture the relationship between your children and their father, and your relationship with  More on this in a later post).

  • Another odd characteristic of this phase is possibly recurring dreams of your partner dying.
  • On page 155, Betty Staley writes, “One of the characteristics of this period is dealing with our negative view of others.  In the previous soul period we were beginning to see the faults of our partner, but the experience now intensifies.”  She talks about how we see our partner’s negative traits far better than our own.  (Carrie’s note here: Ouch).
  • “The moment we start to face the negative aspects of ourselves is a turning point both in our own individual development and as a couple……Instead of blaming the other, we can see how our own actions triggered the other person’s reaction. Admitting our responsibility for causing pain to the other person can release amazing capacities of trust and caring.”
  • “There are so many positive experiences that emerge from this difficult period.  Perhaps the  most important is clarity and honesty. We begin to see the difference between imposing our wishes on a person, a situation, forcing something to come out the way we want it and learning to listen to what is really wanted.  Life is no longer a struggle for power.  Egoism begins to give way to understanding.  Instead of putting ourselves in the center of our experiences we will be able to perceive others and their needs.”

Next post:  The three essential things you MUST do during this period to move to the next phase with a sense of renewal.

Lots of food for thought in this wonderful chapter,

Carrie

Your Super Seven-Year- Old: Traditional and Anthroposophical Viewpoints, Part One

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We spent four posts looking at the six-year old, the six/seven year old transformation and the “how’s” of doing Waldorf Kindergarten, specifically the six-year old year, at home. If you missed those posts, here is your chance to go back and read them here:

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/23/the-six-year-old-waldorf-kindergarten-year-at-home/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/20/the-six-year-old-an-anthroposophical-view/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/18/the-snazzy-six-year-old/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/23/peaceful-living-with-the-six-year-old/

There is also this one about understanding the six/seven year transformation:

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/01/15/understanding-the-sixseven-year-old-transformation/

Those may be of help to you and put in in the right framework to study more specifically about the seven-year old.

The Gesell Institute’s fabulous book, “Your Seven-Year- Old” brings some of the characteristics regarding the seven-year old to light:

  • In general, this is an age of inwardness and withdrawing.  However, the seven-year-old doesn’t know where to stop with that and seems to often appear so silent and withdrawn that “ it seems that he might be more comfortable and content if there were actually no other people in the world.”
  • People do not behave in a way that pleases a child of this age.  The child thinks people are mean, picking on him or her, unforgiving, unfair, hateful.  The child also thinks people do not like them.
  • The child of this age is an intense worrier – more worries and fears than any other age.
  • Moody, morose and melancholy are other adjectives the Gesell Institute uses to describe this age.
  • The Seven-Year-Old feels strongly that parents like the other children in the family better than him. 
  • It is an age of easy crying, easy disappointment. 
  • He lives in a world of thought where he likes to think things through, and he takes in everything around him and reflects on it although he may not talk about it to you!
  • There is a new sense of independence, but also a sense of not being especially adventurous.
  • Seven is not known as an age for humor per the Gesell Institute (although I personally think that this may depend on the temperament of your child!)
  • Less selfish than at six, but very self-absorbed.
  • Time alone with special pursuits is prized, as is a room of their own to “retreat and protect their things.”
  • Has high standards, high ideals, wants to do everything right.  Some teachers call this the “eraser age” as they erase so much, are anxious, want to do everything right.
  • Increasing control of the body, the temper, the voice, the striking out of six
  • An age where the child can fatigue quickly and may need help in protecting themselves from their own demands.
  • Gets along well  with mother at this age, less demanding of their mothers, although there can be arguing with mother and the child can engage in a real battle of wills.  The child cares what the mother thinks of him or her.
  • Fathers are needed.  Girls are very sensitive to reprimands by their father, and may be jealous of the attention their father gives to their mother.  Boys enjoy their fathers and time alone with him is greatly treasured.  Both genders will seek out their fathers for information on things outside of the home.
  • Seven fights less than age six with siblings.  They are at their best with babies age 2 and under.  The most enthusiasm is for a baby not yet born!  Seven also is good with siblings much older than they are.  With siblings close to the same age, the argument is that things are not fair.
  • With friends, less fighting and squabbling although play is still not completely harmonious.  The good news is that Seven is starting to be aware of his friends’ reactions to things.  Group play can still end with destruction of materials or fighting – this age needs adult supervision.

OTHER AREAS: 

  • Eating:  May leave the table frequently if distracted by something, but better able to sit still and eat. 
  • Sleeping: Most seven-year olds are headed to bed around 7:30 and can often get ready for bed by themselves
  • Health: Tend to be healthier than at six.  Fewer colds usually.
  • Increased understanding of sense of time – clock time, months, season, birthdate,
  • Academic work:  It is important to keep in mind that  a seven-year old is easily fatigued and must be protected from so many demands.  Reading may be coming along at this stage, spelling is usually not great, a seven year old is typically not ready for cursive, far fewer number reversals,  requires the teacher to be close.

In Part Two of this post, we will look further at the anthroposophical point of view of the seven-year-old.

Inspirations from Tapestries: Ages 28-35

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Betty Staley entitles the chapter about this age range, “Trying to Organize Our Lives,” and discusses how around the age of 28 many of us feel it is time to become more conscious about our lives, our decision-making, our plans and goals for the future.

She talks about for some people how around age 30, some men realize already they are having more physical limitation than in their twenties and some women notice their bodies are changing.  I personally was curious about this from the perspective that we are certainly living longer than in the time of Rudolf Steiner, so I wondered how many of you found this to be true.  I have heard more women comment to me about their bodies changing and about it being harder to lose weight and such closer to the age of 40 than 30.  I wonder also if this is because so many of us are delaying childbearing until our 30s.  Please leave a comment in the comment box and share your experience.

Betty Staley writes that there are not only physical changes to be reckoned with, but changes within the way we relate to others. She writes, “The bold confidence of our twenties starts giving way to more sensitive awareness of ourselves.  We may no longer be satisfied by just relying on our feelings:  we become more inward, perhaps more subdued.  It is time to become realistic and practical, to take stock of what are we doing and organize our time.”

She talks about how we use our critical intellect to help us organize things, but how this can also be something that pierces and wounds the people around us as we step back and see more and more faults and imperfections and become cold and critical.  We have to work hard in this stage to look not just objectively at others, but also at ourselves.  How do we learn to appreciate other people?  How do we develop concern and compassion for others that transcends our own feelings of woundedness and loneliness?

The thirties can be a positive time of life as things settle down, become calmer, become more focused.  It can be a time to look deep within one’s self at one’s current situation.    “There can be a conflict here between our previous dreams and ideals, and present realities.  How can we realize both?”

Typically there are no easy answers to this question.  Men in particular can have competing desires and wishes.  Daniel Levinson writes about the ages of 21-35 being the “Onward and Upward Phase” for men.  He writes:

“Fatherhood is not the all-important role in a man’s life.  His starring role as he sees it during the Onward and Upward years is that of the promising young man on his way up.  He has important tasks to accomplish.  He is driven by the need for achievement.”

Betty Staley writes that this can be an age where many friendships break apart, and there can be loneliness.  She also writes about the importance of having a mentor and building relationships with friends who have similar values to you.   Do you have a mentor in the areas of parenting and homemaking?  This could be something important if you are in this age range of 28-35 years.   

Rudolf Steiner saw the period of age 30-33 as analogous to the last three years of the life of Jesus Christ, often a period of being in the “valley of the shadow of death.”  Perhaps renewal is around the corner if we can progress past the challenges of this phase:

“The great inner challenge during this phase from 28-35 is to transform critical judgment into thoughtful consideration, allowing emotions to ripen into feelings; to take more time to make decisions, and to bring to the light of the mind and warmth of the heart together in a more conscious way.”

This has implications for both marriage and motherhood.  For mothers in this age range, Betty Staley writes about the importance of strengthening themselves during this time.  She writes of the importance of having private time everyday for “inward activity”.  She also writes about the importance of learning how not to use the sharp-edged intellect of this phase to judge our partners and spouses. 

She writes on page 130 that we do not need to explain or apologize for the things our spouses do because it is not our place to judge, nor do we know our mate so very well that we need to protect other people from his or her faults.  “A point comes in a relationship- and in this case it can be in a close friendship as well as in a marriage – when we let go.  We no longer ask, Why am I with this person?  We no longer add up the irritations, marking them in some invisible account book.  The moment arrives when all that disappears and we acknowledge he is our partner or friend, and accept him totally.”

When people marry in their thirties instead of their twenties, then neither person has formed the other.  The ideas and habits of each person are more set, that as partners they tend to respect one another but humor and tolerance are needed.  More freedom is needed in some ways.  She writes that second marriages often have these characteristics as well.  She also talks about the research showing people born after 1966 are tending to study until age 30 or live at home for longer periods, and how this may postpone the entrance into adulthood by ten years.

A very full chapter with lots of food for thought.

Thanks for reading,

Carrie

Inspirations from Tapestries: Ages 21-28

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Here is a peek into some developmental characteristics of this seven-year cycle:

Betty Staley writes, “In our twenties we often live in the intensity of impulse rather than through feelings which have been tempered by thought.  Steiner calls this time the period of the Sentient Soul.  It is a time when young people  are building up  experiences and meeting the world with vigor and enthusiasm, a time of enjoying sensations and pursuing adventures, of dreaming into the future and being full of hope and confidence.”

She mentions in our twenties we usually do one of two things:  what we think we should, or we rebel against what is expected.  Usually we only stand on our own two feet, with our own thoughts and understanding the results of our actions more when we are in our late twenties.

“The mood of this 21-28 period is one of egotism.  We are the center of our thoughts, and we feel satisfied when we fulfill our personal goals and objectives.”

On page 81, Betty Staley mentions marriage in the twenties as often being difficult because we lack life experience.  She talks about the hidden qualities that can occur as a wife, homemaker, and mother in our twenties (although I think many of us experienced this when we became mothers!):

“The young woman who is trying to approach life consciously can find her time at home with a child or children a maturing experience.  If she can take a broad view of the responsibilities she has, she can see that this part of her life poses her with challenges in self-development.  It is easy for her to get “pulled out of herself” into constant activity, but she can work to focus herself.  Taking care of young children and all the household details is a very grounding experience. She has to come to terms with details, with  time-tables, with establishing a routine, with being concerned about others, with establishing an atmosphere in the home.  All of this presents an opportunity for growth.”

She also goes into significant detail about the changes men face during this time period as they face whether or not marriage and children live up to the vision they created in their head, financial worries, the concern and thought that he needs “to make it” in his career by age 35.

She also talks about the crisis of the late twenties in working women who are wondering if career or children is the right path for them; and also the crisis of the late twenties faced by couples who married in their early twenties.  She writes that, “The inner work of maturing is often cut short by early marriage.  This may seem contradictory since the young people are having to deal with issues of responsibility:  compromising with each other, putting the needs of a child before their own, facing serious responsibilities – while unmarried friends are doing what they like, when they like.  Dealing with such situations does bring a sense of responsibility, but it doesn’t necessarily bring inner growth.  We are more likely to slip into expected roles without thinking.  Our own personalities have not yet developed independently, so we bring an immature “self” to the relationship rather than one which has learned to stand on its own, solve problems and know  what it wants by passing through a necessary phase of self-centredness.”

Lest you think the author is against marriage in one’s twenties, she does write that these marriages often work, but many times come under great strain as the people within the marriage mature, and how it takes strong commitment and desire to hold the marriage together.

What are your thoughts? Leave them in the comment box below!

Interesting reading,

Carrie

Waldorf Homeschooling Versus Waldorf School

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In this solemn economic time, our local Waldorf homeschooling group is getting more and more calls from the parents of the local Waldorf school who will not be able to afford Waldorf school in the fall and are interested in investigating Waldorf homeschooling.

I have a few thoughts on this subject.

It actually does come up, even in Waldorf homeschooling circles, this question of, “Well, if you had all the money in the world, wouldn’t you put your child in Waldorf school?”

And our family’s answer is no.  You will learn my bias toward Waldorf homeschooling in a moment, but let’s peak at the issue of school first.

PROS (or at least, hopes for a school!)

  • A community (hopefully!) of like-minded people gathering for festivals, a community of general happiness with the ideas of the Waldorf curriculum as tailored to the soul development of the child.  This can be very hard to find in a land of Well-Trained Mind homeschoolers and unschoolers.
  • A place where there are specialty teachers to bring things like eurythmy, foreign languages, woodworking, games.
  • Fabulous festival celebrations.
  • Some things, like Circle Time in Kindy and pedagogical stories in the grades , grouping children of the same temperament together, work well in a group at school and may not work nearly as well at home.
  • Great teachers who collaborate with parents as partners in education.
  • Hopefully the school will offer some of the other “extras” such as gardens and beekeeping and other totally enriching experiences for your child.
  • Hopefully adult opportunities for learning.

CONS (or at least possible cons)

  • Possibly long drive times to get to and from school.  In my major metropolitan area, you pretty much would have to sell your house and go buy one by the only Waldorf school in our area, or spend a great deal of time in the car.
  • Tuition, fundraising outside of tuition, extra fees.
  • Some parents who have left the Waldorf school environment for homeschooling felt like they learned a lot more by homeschooling than by being at the school.  For example, many parents told me they did not celebrate the festivals at home, only at school, and after transitioning to home they had to decide what the festivals meant to them and how to plan it, whereas at the school the festivals were planned and they had a part assigned to them.
  • Some parents who have left the school environment for homeschooling told me they felt that many parents were not on the same page regarding media in the younger grades and other areas, even with school policies set forth.
  • Some children truly do not function as well in a group environment in the younger grades.  Some parents told me they felt their wild child really calmed down with Waldorf homeschooling as opposed to school, or that their shy child really came out of their shell with homeschooling.
  • Some parents have told me they felt the repetition of the early grades, the focus on group unity in the early elementary grades, or lack of individual attention and progress to a slower or faster learner were hard to deal with.

Waldorf Homeschooling PROS (yes, this is my bias)

  • Waldorf homeschooling is first and foremost about family.  It is about spending copious amounts of time with your children, quantity time and really being there for all those little questions that come up during the oddest moments.
  • You can save  your children a great amount of overstimulation by not having to drive in traffic, and save money by not paying tuition.
  • You will learn about Steiner, festivals and make them your own.  You can fit your own faith into your homeschooling experience they way you want if this is important to you.  It is important to me.    You can tailor your blocks to your child – for second grade, for example, you can pick – there are the Saints and the animal trickster tales, of course but you can also pick “Cherokee Animal Trickster Tales” or Anansi the Spider or Robin Hood or American Tall Tales.  You can pick stories where the meaning really speaks to the things your child is struggling with.  You can pick what  festivals you celebrate and how, with the whole family involved in building up to the festival.
  • You will develop your own skills so you can teach your child.
  • You can spend a vast amount of time outside.
  • You can go on vacation when you want, and take a day off when you need to attend to family business.
  • You can foster close bonds between siblings who may otherwise be separated all day in different grades.
  • You can show your child the warmth and work that goes into homemaking, and have time to do this.
  • Dad may be able to be more involved as you can work your homeschooling around his schedule as well, and homeschooling and learning becomes a family adventure. You start planning family things around the blocks you are studying – weekend field trips different places that tie into what you are studying.  Grandparents and aunts and uncles can even get into the act!
  • You can move at your child’s pace within the curriculum.  I still feel with the grades it is important to keep within the three day rhythm and use sleep as your aid, but you can do more math blocks than language arts blocks if your child is a language arts star and needs more work in math, you can work toward longer sentences in language arts if they have mastered shorter sentences earlier, or move ahead in math if they really get it.
  • You can honor your child’s development as it unfolds.  Sometimes children do things that do not fit into the norm and need more time to just be.
  • With homeschooling, there is plenty of time for the child to play, to look at clouds, to make homemade salt dough, to just dream and be.  Sometimes this gets lost in the hustle and bustle of any school if one is not careful.

Waldorf Homeschooling CONS

  • I guess this to me is a pro, but to many parents it is a con: You need to do your own inner work with this method. How do you feel about fairy tales? Saints and legends?  The Old Testament as a story of a people’s relationship to authority?  How do you feel about what comes where within the curriculum?  This can be hard work for some people.

My thought on this:  Aren’t these questions you should be looking at anyway?

  • You have to get to know your own community and your own resources.   Waldorf homeschooling in the US Virgin Islands is going to look a lot different than homeschooling in Idaho, not because the building block in the Third Grade is going to change, but the local resources are different.  A child in the US Virgin Islands might learn about the use of molasses as a building and binding agent, or the particulars of the cannonball tree in botany  in addition to other cultures’ building methods and a child in Idaho may focus more on local things in addition to others’ building methods.  This intimidates many parents, that their child “may not learn it all.”

My thought on this:  Even a Waldorf teacher in a school has to pick and choose amongst possible blocks and available resources; just like you!

  • Being a Waldorf homeschooler can be hard in some respects when everyone else around you is homeschooling with other methods.

My thought on this:  Start your own local Waldorf homeschooling group.  Be a beacon for your area!  Hang out with homeschoolers who use other methods, and be okay with that.  Do what works for your family!

  • Some parents feel Waldorf requires intensive work.

My thought on  this:  All homeschool curriculums require work on your part. That is called teaching, as just opposed to opening a book and handing it to your small child.  There are open and go kinds of Waldorf homeschool curriculums out there.

  • Some parents feel Waldorf homeschooling requires severe lifestyle changes.

My thought on this:  Baby steps, people, baby steps.  Homeschooling in itself is a lifestyle, no matter what method you choose.    And the pink protective bubble of Waldorf Kindergarten does not last forever.

  • Waldorf homeschooling is not the same as Waldorf school at home.

My thought:  Absolutely and that is one of the reasons I choose to homeschool.

I appreciate your thoughts and comments in the comment section,

Carrie

Flu Poems

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My first grader wrote these while she had the flu and a 102 degree fever (before we went island hopping).  I thought they were cute and I would share:

Thank You

Many thanks for our food.

And many thanks for our love.

Many thanks for my prayers which

My Lord hears so well.

And this one:

Do You Love Me?

Do you love me Mother?

Yes, for all the world.

Do you love me Father?

Yes, with all my heart.

Everyone loves me.

Peace,

Carrie

“Breastfeeding the Right-Brained Way”

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This is a great article circulating some of the breastfeeding forums I am on, and I wanted to share it with you.  Many thanks to my friend Anna for sharing it with me!

 

Breastfeeding the Right-Brained Way
By Kathleen Kendall-Tackett (PhD, IBCLC) & Nancy Mohrbacher (IBCLC),
co-authors of Breastfeeding Made Simple

In modern Western cultures, mothers have more information about
breastfeeding than any time in human history. Unfortunately, most of this is
information for the left side of the brain, which is fine for lots of tasks.
But too much left-brained information can make you anxious about
breastfeeding.

 

 

Breastfeeding is a right-brained activity. What do we mean by that? Think of
left-brained instructions as head knowledge. Right-brained learning yields
heart or body knowledge. To illustrate the difference, think about riding a
bike. Did you learn by reading about it? Talking a class? Talking to other
people about it? Or did you learn by just getting on a bike and doing it?

The Right-Brained Dance of Breastfeeding
Mothers and babies have physiological responses that draw them to each
other, that encourage them to look at each other, touch each other, and
interact. Much of this behavior is guided by the right side of the brain.
This is the side that has to do with affect or emotion.

A problem with the heavily left-brained, instructionally-oriented way that
many mothers learn to breastfeed is that it doesn’t allow mother and baby to
take advantage of their natural responses. So much breastfeeding education
focuses on all the things mother must to do get the baby to breastfeed,
which ignores the baby’s role. That type of instruction can be helpful to
solve a particular problem, but it can be a definite drawback when one
technique or strategy is applied to all mothers. It also discourages mothers
and babies from using their hardwiring.

Worse still, this kind of education can encourage them to tune out their
natural responses or to violate their instincts. It can be upsetting for all
who are involved, sometimes creating a crisis where none existed before.
Another problem with highly instructionalized left-brained approaches is
that they can leave some mothers feeling incompetent because it feels as if
there are 10,000 things they need to remember.

A different way to think about this is to consider how mothers throughout
human history managed to breastfeed without all of the information we have
now. When breastfeeding was the norm, girls learned about breastfeeding as
they were growing up by seeing women actually doing it. Dr. Peter Hartmann,
a well-known breastfeeding researcher, makes this point well. He asked a
young Australian Aboriginal mothers, “When did you learn about
breastfeeding?” She answered, “I have always known how to breastfeed.”

How exactly do you use a right-brained approach to breastfeed your baby?
First, take some deep breaths and let go of those worries about doing things
“wrong.” Instead of thinking of breastfeeding as a skill you need to master,
or a measure of your worth as a mother, think about breastfeeding as
primarily a relationship. As you spend time with your baby, you’ll be more
adept at reading her cues. As you hold her, your baby will be more
comfortable seeking your breast. Breastfeeding will flow naturally out of
your affectionate relationship.

Based on her extensive clinical experience with mothers and babies,
pediatrician and board-certified lactation consultant Dr. Christina Smillie
has developed some strategies that can help you help your baby. Here are
some specific things you can do:
* Start with a calm, alert baby– One mistake that many women make is to wait to try breastfeeding until their babies are either sound asleep or
screaming. Think about yourself. Do you learn best when you are asleep or
upset? Probably not. The other reason to start with a calm baby has to do
with physics. When a baby is screaming, her tongue is on the roof of her
mouth. You will never get your breast in her mouth when her tongue is like
that.
* Watch for early feeding cues– These cues include turning her head when
someone touches her cheek and hand-to-mouth. Take note of when she starts
smacking her lips or putting her hands to her mouth. This is an ideal time
to try breastfeeding.
* Use your body to calm your baby– One way to calm a crying baby is by
placing your baby skin to skin vertically between your breasts. Your chest
is a very calming place for your baby. Try talking and making eye contact.
All of these activities can get her to calm down, allowing your baby to seek
the breast on her own.
* Follow your baby’s lead– When a calm, alert baby is held vertically
between her mother’s breasts, often she will begin showing instinctive
breast-seeking behaviors, bobbing her head and moving it from side to side.
Once your baby starts these behaviors, help her in her efforts. Following
your baby’s lead, support her head and shoulders. Move her rump toward your
opposite breast. Encourage her explorations with your voice.
* Play while you learn to breastfeed– Play is something that is largely
absent from the mothers we see. It all seems so serious and they are
terrified of doing something wrong. If you are feeling frustrated, we’d like
to encourage you to look at this another way. Focus on your relationship
with your baby and consider breastfeeding as a part of the larger whole.
Breastfeeding will flow naturally out of your affectionate relationship.
In summary, if your baby is healthy, she is wired to know how to breastfeed.
It all doesn’t depend on you getting everything right. Relax and just focus
on getting to know your baby. The rest will follow.

Breastfeeding Made Simple is an awesome book, and I encourage you to search out the other books written by these two women.  Kathleen Kendall-Tackett in particular has done a lot of work with postpartum depression, depression and other less than positive feelings dealing with motherhood.  The works of these two wise women are well worth checking out!

Thanks,

Carrie

Ron Jarman’s Math Goals for Waldorf Grade One

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This is from Ron Jarman’s book, “Teaching Mathematics in Rudolf Steiner Schools for Classes I-VIII”: (some of these goals have been shortened, you need to get his book to see more of the details!).  I took them directly from the book, so please note the very English spelling of some of the words! 🙂

a. Experience of straight and curved lines- in bodily posture, by walking along them and through drawing them in colour on the blackboard and on large sheets of paper.

b.  Introduction to whole numbers, proceeding from whole to its parts (e.g. breaking up a dead stick). Finding where they reveal themselves in the world.

c.  Counting – first up to 10, then up to 20, later up to 100.  (He mentions counting rhymes, jumping, skipping, singing, movement, movement, movement)

d.  Estimating the size of collections, especially of shells, stones and nuts.  Arranging them in groups and patterns.

e.  Experience of forms containing straight and curved lines…finally concentrating on the writing of the Roman numerals and later the Arabic numerals.

f.  Experience of the 4 rules and developing imagination for the invisible third number in each sum (using concrete objects)

g.  A lot of mental arithmetic – both orally and through writing down just the answers.  Games with mental arithmetic.

h.  Written arithmetic with the 4 rules, (physical demonstration first, going into imaginative type, then into purely computational kinds of sums)

i.  drawing repeated patterns

j.  symmetrical form drawing

k. free modelling of shapes including flat and curved surfaces

l.  comparison of lengths and widths, but not by using rulers or pairs of scales – instead using their own limbs and body weights together and as a group

m. rhythmic learning by heart of the 2 times, 3 times, and 10 times tables; also of number bonds up to a total of 20.

There you have it!  This really is a book that belongs on your bookshelf; it is easily available through Bob and Nancy’s at www.waldorfbooks.com, the Rudolf Steiner College Bookstore, and many of the used Waldorf curriculum lists.  Maybe my Canadian and British readers can let me know a supplier they use. 

Thanks,

Carrie

Boys Under Age 7 and Hitting

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(I wrote this about boys, because a lot of mothers have been coming to me with their “boy challenges” lately, but of course ALL small children live in their bodies and can be physical when frustrated and angry.  This is not so much about hitting as part of a temper tantrum though, for that post please refer to “Smearing Peas” found at this link: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/13/smearing-peas

Also, this post is written about neuro-typical children.)

On to the post:

Is hitting acceptable?  Absolutely not.

Is it fun to be the referee of hitting in your family?  No, but it is necessary!

Is hitting a phase that may just go away in boys under 7?  Perhaps, but from what I personally  have seen with the more immature, physical kinds of boys is that hitting starts with frustration and lack of words around 2 or 2 and a half, and just continues through the ages with special exacerbations at age 4 and later at age 6.  The increased physical aggression at age 6 is often difficult for parents to handle calmly, so I urge you to go back in this blog and read the four posts I wrote about the six-year old.  This is an important time!

So, the question becomes, what to do with hitting?

1.  The first place, as always, is to start with yourself. How is the tone in your home?  What is going on with all members of the home?  Who is in a stage of developmental disequilibrium right now?  Are you and your partner happy or upset with each other?  Are you getting any time for you to re-build your own energy reserves for happy parenting?

2.  How much outside time is your little one getting?  Are there other issues going on – food or environmental allergens, lack of sleep, giving up naps, how is the rhythm in your house? Have you been going too many places?  Have you rotated toys within your home lately, spruced up the playroom, changed the sensory table out with something new?

This, of course, does not immediately solves the hitting problem, but it does give one a few things to think about and possibly try to change to see an effect.

When hitting happens:

I have seen families try all kinds of approaches from reasoning, saying “We don’t hit in our family,” time-outs, ignoring some of it……Which of course begs the question, What to do?

Every family is different of course,and every child is different as well, but here are a few thoughts.  See what resonates with you!

First of all, Steiner said it is possible to awaken a child’s sense of what is right or wrong only towards the fifth year. 

Barbara Patterson and Pamela Bradley write on page 118 of “Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: Nurturing Our Children from Birth to Seven,”If we try to explain too much to children, to reason with them about what we want them to do or not do, we prematurely awaken their capacities of reason and intellect and pull them o too early  out of the dreamier world of childhood. Through imitation, they start trying to out-reason us and become extremely good at it.”

This may not mean much when they are 4, but it will mean much more to you once your child is 6! 

My first thought is with a child under the age of 6, is to immediately turn it into a hit, you must be by me kind of rule. A time-in.

My second thought with the child under the age of 5 is to attempt to turn it into a more acceptable physical activity, and perhaps to approach it with pure distraction.  When a small child hears, “We don’t hit in this family,”  over and over it seems to become less and less effective.  (You can agree or disagree here, LOL).  With a very small 2 or 3 year old, I like the idea of giving them something they can hit or a physical activity.  If they hit, you immediately pick them up and bring them to a spot where they can throw bean bags at a line on the floor.  Not a guilt trip, not a bunch of words going to their heads that they really don’t get and doesn’t help them control their arms anyway, but physical motion.

Dads are also great at sometimes defusing this into not only physical activity, but humor as well.  Sometimes we are so convinced that if we do not seriously  pound  into our little 2 and 3 year olds the “wrongness” of this behavior, then it will just snowball into something bigger and bigger as they grow.  I think this is the wrong attitude to take in many ways.  Again, hitting is not acceptable,  but it takes time until children can express their emotions in acceptable ways.  It is a process, and not something you can also quickly fix.  That being said, I do not believe the right thing to do is to ignore the behavior, because it is not a behavior you want to see your child using in a social setting.

Some Waldorf teachers take the child’s hands and bathe them in  a special healing water, dry the hands gently and paint suns or something like that on the back of the hands to remind the child of their gentle hands.  Some Waldorf teachers will wrap the child’s hands in a silk and tell them that hands that are warm and strong will not hit.

Most of all, it is important to listen to the child and hear the child’s frustrations.  You don’t need to reason, just listen.  Give your child your attention if you think this will help your child. (See below for another mother’s different perspective).

If the child is four or five, I think gently just saying, “We can use our hands to (peel these carrots for dinner, grate potatoes, knead bread, whatever)”   can be effective.  Exhausting for the parent?  Absolutely, sometimes!  But, real work is the cure for violence in small children under the age of 7. 

For children age 6 and over, I think you can be a bit more direct.  This is the time for the  notion, “We are gentle in this family.”  It is also the time for you to be the authority.

As far as hitting between siblings, I think many times, way too often, we leave our children alone in the guise of benign neglect and letting them “work it out” when they truly do not have the skills to work it out.  I actually am all for benign neglect, but a child under the age of 7 does not have the skills to work it out with someone much bigger or much smaller than they are.  They need your help.  You can help them use their words. (But again, I feel this is for a child older than the ages of the children where many parents are using these techniques!  Remember, do not put the cart before the horse with your little 2, 3 and 4 year old!)

Some other suggestions I have heard other mothers use:

  • Make sure the “victim” who was hit receives more attention than the negative attention the hitter is getting.  Hitting can be a way to get attention!
  • Make sure you are not hitting when you play with your child, or your children are not play hitting one another.  It then becomes confusing for the child when hitting is okay, and when  it is not okay.
  • Give your child tasks that involve being gentle physically with someone else – giving foot rubs, back rubs, those kinds of tasks.  Give them a chance to have gentle hands!
  • Some sources I have read advises parents to walk away from a child who is hitting you; I would love to hear parents’ experiences with this.  In my family, this would not have worked for us and would have led to more hitting, but I am sure there are families where this worked.  Please do share if this worked for you.
  • Nancy Samalin writes in her book “Loving Each One Best: A Caring and Practical Approach to Raising Siblings” to not intervene unless the fighting is physically or emotionally hurtful.  She writes that many children fight because they are bored, because they want you in the middle.  I am not sure I agree with this for children under the age of 7 who are fighting.  I do not think children under the age of 7 often have the skills to deal with this.  If you look back on the four and six year old posts, you will see that most developmental experts on childhood agree that the social skills of four and six year olds are poor; aggressive even.  Not a time to let them “work it out”, in my opinion.
  • With fighting siblings, never ask “Who started it?”

I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts!

Carrie