According to Waldorf Education and parenting, the twelve senses are what unites the inner and outer world of the individual and what allows us healthy interaction with other people at the highest developed levels.  It takes a long time for these senses to be developed, but the foundational senses needed to develop some of the upper senses are most enveloped within the first seven years. 

For those of you who are new to this blog, here is a brief recap of the twelve senses: (and for those of you wondering the Daena Ross presentation I am referring to can be found here at this link: http://www.waldorfinthehome.org/2005/04/the_twelve_senses.html#more).

The Lower Senses are seen in our will forces, they are unconscious, and they manifest in the metabolic-limbic system.  These include:

The Sense of Touch – through the organ of the skin.  This includes what is inside of me and what is outside of me.  Important ways to boost this foundational sense include vaginal birth, swaddling, holding, positive tactile experiences (NOT PASSIVE experiences, like through media or Baby Einstein! Active experiences!)  The lack of completion of this  sense is strongly related to ADHD according to Daena Ross.

The Sense of Life or sometimes called The Sense of Well-Being – this encompasses such things as if you can tell if you are tired, thirsty, hungry.  The best way to boost this sense is to provide your children with a rhythm to help support this while it is developing.  Some children have great difficulty recognizing their own hunger or thirst cues,  or their own need for rest or sleep. A rhythm can be a great therapeutic help in this regard.

The Sense of Self-Movement – this is probably more familiar to therapists in some ways as the “proprioceptive system” in some ways.  This sense encompasses the ability to move and hold back movement, and can also encompass such sensory experiences as containment (which can be a form of massage for premature babies) and also swaddling.  Childhood games that involve starting and stopping can also affect this sense.

The Sense of Balance – This is balance in two separate realms, from what I gather from the Daena Ross presentation.  It is not only the ability to balance by use of the semicircular canals of the ears  for midline balance so one can cross midline but also refers to the  balance of life and being able to be centered, which again goes back to rhythm and the idea of in-breath and out-breath.  Donna Simmons calls this one a gateway to The Middle Senses.

I wrote an article about these lower senses for the Waldorf Baby that may be interesting reading for some of you here:  http://www.christopherushomeschool.org/early-years-nurturing-young-children-at-home/the-waldorf-baby/not-too-hot-not-too-cold.html

The Middle Senses are seen in our feeling lives, involve us reaching out into the world a bit, they are seen as “dreamy” senses and manifesting in the rhythmic system.  THE CHILD HAS NO FILTER TO FILTER THESE SENSORY EXPERIENCES OUT IN THE EARLY YEARS.   In the later years, the arts build these senses, which is why the Waldorf curriculum includes teaching through art in the grades.   These senses  include:

The Sense of Smell –  strongly correlated with memory.  This can be an ally in education of the grades age child, but beware of scented everything when your children are in the foundational first seven years.

The Sense of Taste – Not only on a physical plane, but an emotional plane in naming experiences (a “putrid” experience, a “sweet” experience)

The Sense of Sight  – with two different ways to visualize something:  one is the ability to distinguish color, and the other is the ability to distinguish form (which Daena Ross says is more related to The Sense of Self-Movement).  The best way to help this sense is to protect the eye from media while developing.  A way to bolster this sense in the grades, but not the Early under 7 Years, is through form drawing.

The Sense of Warmth –   Donna Simmons calls this one a gateway to The Higher Senses.  This sense does not fully develop until age 9 and can literally cause a hardening of creativity and new thought as the child matures, but also can refer to a literal inability of the child to be able to tell if they are hot or cold.  Warmth implies not only physical warmth, but warmth on a soul level.  Joy, humor, love, connection are all important developers of this sense along with PROTECTION from extreme and garish sensory experiences that would cause hardening.  This is a very important sense, and children need help with protecting this sense until the age of 9 or 10, so much longer than many parents think!

The Upper or Higher Senses develop during adolescence and require a strong foundation of The Lower Senses and The Middle Senses to come to maturity.  These senses are associated with awakening of the individual, with being concerned with other people and are seen as being centered in The Head.  These senses include:

The Sense of Hearing (which Daena Ross calls “a bridge between The Middle and Higher Senses” in her presentation)  This requires completion of The Sense of Balance – both of these senses involve the organ of the ear.

The Sense of Speech or The Sense of the Word (this is the speech of another person, not yourself) – Requires completion of The Sense of Self-Movement as you must be able to quiet your own speech in order to really hear another person.

The Sense of Thought or The Sense of Concept (again, of the other person, not your own thoughts!) – Requires completion of  The Sense of Well-Being.  Rhythm builds this ability to quiet oneself in order to hear someone else’s thoughts.

The Sense of  the Individuality of the Other (Donna Simmons also calls this the “I-Thou” relationship of boundaries) – This requires integration and completion of all senses, but particularly involves The Sense of Touch according to Daena Ross.

In our work as parents of small children, we should be seeking to protect the lower senses and enhance them.  The way we do this through the Early Years is through PROTECTION, through repetition, warmth, rhythm, less stimulation and talking, keeping children in their bodies.  Unfortunately, anthroposophists and Waldorf educators seem to be the only group right now who really understand this importance.   Here is an interesting video clip regarding how a trip to the grocery store can be over-stimulating to the senses for an infant, and some interesting physiological facts about an infant’s senses:  http://www.hulu.com/watch/6093/wild-baby-senses#x-4,vclip,1

In the meantime, society keeps pushing adult schedules and stimulation on small children and  the rates of sensory disorders and autism spectrum are skyrocketing.  

The opportunity to protect our children’s senses in the phase where the child is noted as one giant sensory organ taking in all sensory experiences really doesn’t last too long.  Take advantage of this special time!

Much love,

Carrie

Humor is such an important tool in mothering and in generating positive outcomes in behavior that it had to have its own separate day!  I think this is one place where many mothers, including myself, can fall short if we are not truly careful in cultivating this.

Is everything in parenting really that serious?  So many times I think we see a behavior in a small child and feel we must somehow change it because otherwise our teenager will have this behavior.  So many times I think the expectations we have for our children are so high for their age that it leads to joyless and humorless interaction with our children.

Using humor does not mean we never set clear boundaries.  However, it does mean that we use warmth and love to set boundaries.  We can say no gently, and stick to our “no” even through the persistence of a child.  Boundaries are okay. Humor and playfulness does mean that we can step back and laugh at our own mistakes, the mistakes our children make, to see the humor and joy in  a situation and have some fun!  This is NEVER done in a teasing or hurtful manner, but in a way where everyone can join in on the fun!

How often do you laugh?  Sometimes my husband rents me funny things to watch from NetFlix at night after the kids go to sleep just so I can laugh!  I have one friend with whom when we get together we laugh a lot and she uses humor so well with her children.  It always inspires me to cultivate more humor and playfulness into my parenting.  Parenting can be VERY funny, and if we can look at it this way it can make many burdens light!

I am sure many of you have heard of the book “Playful Parenting” by Lawrence Cohen.  It is not a Waldorf book by any means, but reading it may open your eyes to the connection that humor, joy and playfulness can have in your parenting adventure.

Much of Waldorf parenting centers around the mother doing work with her hands, and the child weaving in and out of the work of the day. However, there is nothing wrong with setting up play scenarios, with helping a child “stuck” with his play (Waldorf Kindergarten teachers do this all the time!) and there is certainly nothing wrong with the use of humor and playfulness to engage the cooperation and fantasy of a small child in your daily rhythm.

Enjoy your lightening up!

Carrie

One thing that many Waldorf teachers do at night  is to meditate on the children in  their class.  I think this practice is absolutely vital as a Waldorf  homeschooling parent. 

In the discussion write-up following Dr. Helmut von Kugelgen’s article “How Can We Find A Connection to The World of the Angels?” in the blue paperback book, “A Deeper Understanding of the Waldorf Kindergarten,” the question arises:

Q:  What about thinking about children before we go to sleep?

A:  “Freya Jaffke spoke to this question and said each person must find their own way with this.  The picturing of children should not take too long, though one can then spend more time on a difficult child.  For example, one can review a problematic moment with the child, make it “present” within one, picturing the “gesture” of the moment.  How did the moment arise?  What led up to it?  What happened during the moment and what came afterwards?  Also find a good moment that happened with the child.  Make this picture “big” before your mind’s eye.  Thus two objective pictures stand before you without any wishes.  Then you can feel a real connection to the child.  You may do this picturing several nights in a row.  Maybe one picture will increase or decrease; or both may merge into equal strength.  Then daily work will grow easier, for you are not fighting the  one aspect.  But be careful not to neglect the “good” children. Look at all of the children, and occasionally dwell on one or two who do not have difficulties.”  (page 59-60).

How much easier this is for us as homeschooling parents – we have less numbers to meditate on!  And in some ways, how much more difficult this is, as we are more emotionally involved and connected and attached and feel more deeply about our children’s behavior of the day than a teacher most likely would.

I personally have a practice of praying for my children every night before bed; I also meditate on them and see what I receive – those flashes of pictures as it forms.  I also think about those more difficult situations that occurred during the day, and think about what I need to work on, and also what my children need to practice for living.  I frame this in positive terms.  For example, if my child is having a difficult time, I might think about what needs to INCREASE in my child in order for the situation to be better.  Sometimes I look for virtues off this list:  http://www.virtuesproject.com/virtues.html  and think how I can bring a particular virtue to my child in a sideways manner.  Is there a pedagogical story I can tell?  Can I work through rhythm, through other experiences?

I also use other things; I am a big fan of flower essences and homeopathic remedies to help balance things out.  I look at warmth and how I am transmitting emotional warmth to my children. I look at what I am modeling myself.

These meditative techniques are a wonderful and necessary addition for peaceful homeschooling and peaceful parenting in general.  Give them a try, and I don’t think you will be disappointed!

Peace,

Carrie

Can you all believe we up to Day Number 12?  I can’t believe it either!  Thank you so much to all of my readers for keeping up with this series.    This blog had almost 19,000 hits last month, so I know there are many of you out there reading along and I want you to know I treasure you all.

Today we are going to talk about warmth.  Warmth is a quality often mentioned in Waldorf and anthroposophic circles, and seems to get little attention outside of these realms.  This is a shame, because of the importance warmth has in the development of a child’s senses. 

I wrote this in a post regarding the twelve senses as seen by Rudolf Steiner:

“The Sense of Warmth –   Donna Simmons calls this one a gateway to The Higher Senses.  This sense does not fully develop until age 9 and can literally cause a hardening of creativity and new thought as the child matures, but also can refer to a literal inability of the child to be able to tell if they are hot or cold.  Warmth implies not only physical warmth, but warmth on a soul level.  Joy, humor, love, connection are all important developers of this sense along with PROTECTION from extreme and garish sensory experiences that would cause hardening.  This is a very important sense, and children need help with protecting this sense until the age of 9 or 10, so much longer than many parents think!”

I think this notion of warmth really feeds off our last post regarding the home; it is one of those qualities most needed in the  home and in the development of the child.

So, we can look at  two separate ways of generating “warmth”.  One is to think about physical warmth.  I recently wrote an entire post about mainly physical  warmth here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/27/what-happens-if-i-dont-keep-my-child-warm/

It is very important to keep children warm as  their own sense of temperature equilibrium really does not become well-established until after age nine!  So yes, this means woolens and silks and hats and layers! 

But I think the other thing to think about sincerely is how to convey EMOTIONAL warmth to our children.  How many times a day do we laugh with our children?  Hug our children or have them sit on our lap?  Smile at our children?  Say positive and encouraging things to our children?

So, my three-day challenge to you is this:

Set a goal for how many times a day you are going to try to laugh, hug, hold, smile and say positive things to your child and act on it!   This may seem very stilted and forced, but sometimes we all need that structure in order to make a behavior more automatic.   See after three days if there is a difference in not only you and your children, but in the peacefulness of your household.  Can you also  do this with your spouse?  How many encouraging things do you say to him each day?  How many times do you walk by him and touch his hand or touch him on the back or give him a kiss? 

Try it for three short days, Monday through Wednesday this week,  and let me know how it goes!

Many blessings,

Carrie

This is a topic near and dear to my heart: making your home work for you.  This whole notion of “What makes a home a home?” is profoundly interesting to me!

This probably has more to do with the “intangibles”:  the way a home feels when you walk into it.  Is there warmth, joy, laughter, playfulness – or is it all tense, anger, bitterness, misery? 

Your own inner work is of utmost importance in maintaining your home as a place of joy, humor and warmth.  How YOU feel cared for is an important part.  There was a post earlier in this series regarding how to make yourself a priority; I believe this is important to continue to try to find ways to honor yourself and the wonderful parent that you are.  Quiet confidence gives a great strength and stability to the home.

So, when we think of “home” and cleaning up, let’s clean up ourselves first.  Discern the essentials for your family!  Do you have a Family Mission Statement?  Here is that post:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/08/creating-a-family-mission-statement/

Here is our Family Mission Statement:

Our family will be a place of KINDNESS, as we love one another, help one another, and are gentle and patient with one another in words and actions.

(“Don’t ever forget kindness and truth. Wear them like a necklace. Write them on your heart as if on a tablet.” Proverbs 3:3 and “Someone with a quick temper does foolish things, but someone with understanding remains calm.” Proverbs 14:17).

Our family will be a place of POSITIVE ATTITUDES as we have hope, cheerfulness and encouragement for each other in all situations and challenges.

(“Worry is a heavy load, but a kind word cheers you up.” Proverbs 12:25 and “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, making people happy and healthy.” Proverbs 16:24)

Our family will be one of INTEGRITY as we do what we say we are going to do and act in honesty and loyalty to one another.

(“The good people who live honest lives will be a blessing to their children.” Proverbs 20:7)

You can write something in accordance with your own spiritual beliefs!  Let your Family Mission Statement reflect the utmost priorities of your family!

Let’s think about “de-cluttering” in how we take care of OURSELVES; can we discern the essentials and leave the non-essentials behind?  Have we been ignoring the essentials in regards to ourselves?    Are you going to bed and getting enough rest?  Are you eating well?  Keeping up with your own doctor’s appointments?  Are you exercising at all (and no, walking at the pace of a two-year-old who stops every foot to examine things on the ground probably does not qualify to increase your own cardiovascular health!)  How could you work these things into your rhythm?  Could your spouse or partner help make this happen?

Now we are onto the physical beauty that is our home!  I think the issue is that as homeschooling mothers we are in our home ALL DAY, so the physical way our home looks and feels can really affect us! 

We have looked in the past on this blog at de-cluttering your home and also how to homeschool and have a clean house.  Those posts are here:

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/11/housecleaning-and-homeschooling/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/09/12/is-your-home-a-sanctuary/

I also encourage all of you to not only come up with a rhythm for your de-cluttering and your cleaning, but for chores for your children.  In a homeschooling family, all the housecleaning cannot be just on the mother.  It takes a team!  That being said, many children need you to do chores WITH them until the nine-year-change at least.  We are doing things TOGETHER and you are singing and having FUN!  That is what makes a home a home; the beauty of caring for one another!

But most of all, remember a home is built of those soul qualities.  One book that may be of use to you all is “The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker”.  For a study of this book, please see AnthroMama’s blog here: http://anthromama.wordpress.com/spiritual-tasks-of-the-homemaker-study/

Many blessings,

Carrie

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