Category Archives: Family Life

“Love And Anger: The Parental Dilemma” Chapter One

Posted on by
5

So we are embarking on our new chapter by chapter book today:  “Love and Anger:  The Parental Dilemma” by Nancy Samalin with Catherine Whitney.  You can read about the introduction to this book, with a link as to where to purchase it here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/03/25/love-and-anger-the-parental-dilemma-introduction/

This first chapter opens up with a quote from a father ( that I am sure many of us have said or have heard a parent say):  “I was the perfect father until my son was born.”

The scenario opening this chapter regards a working mother and her seven year old son who was prone to making a huge mess in their apartment:  “By the time Sharon walked in the door, she had already built up such an anger that she started yelling before she could stop herself.  Now she stood towering over the chaos in her living room, hands planted on her hips and face contorted in rage."  The mother later recounts in a parenting workshop that she cannot believe where her anger went.  How many of us have ever felt that way?

The author writes on page 4, “The subject of anger almost always comes up when parents gather, and it’s a subject that troubles them a great deal.  They believe that good parents don’t yell, much less shriek, loving parents don’t seethe with resentment, mature adults never give in to uncontrolled rage.  They look to me {the author} for ways to exorcise these uncomfortable feeling, hoping that I’ll offer them a solution, like a magic elixir, so they won’t feel angry with their children anymore.”

The author goes on to say that anger is normal, both on the part of the parent and the child, and points out the ultimate parenting paradox:   that often the greater our love, the greater too our capacity for feeling a troubling range of emotions including anger, resentment, rage. What we need to do is to teach OURSELVES and our children how to express anger, rage, those troubling emotions without attacking our children and in a way that may actually be helpful.

The author mentions that for many families their homes are battlegrounds filled with sarcasm, bickering, shouting, power struggles.   There can be many points of irritation, many hot buttons that trigger parents’ anger.  Here is a small sampling of the things parents listed as anger-provoking from a very long list on page 5:   “When they won’t do what I say”  “When they won’t take no for an answer.”  “When they defy me.”  “When they give me that attitude.”    “When they talk back and say things that hurt or insult me.” 

However, anger and rage can be downright scary; both for ourselves and our children.  It can fill us with self-loathing, guilt and other things that do not more our family lives forward. 

We must learn to separate our actions from our feelings.  All feelings are okay, not all actions are.  I am sure many of you have heard that before, but it is important to be able to deal with anger without hurting, insulting, demeaning our children.  I personally think the ability to  be firm and  hold boundaries in a loving way takes practice.  There will always be conflict between your needs and wants and what your child needs and wants.  Add in multiple children and it just gets more complex from there.   Our children will not always be happy about the boundaries that we set, yet those boundaries are there to help them  mature and grow.  Boundaries are not mean; they look toward the future when the things your children will do as adults may cost in big ways – in their jobs, their marriages, their own parenting of your grandchildren. 

And to do that we need to be able to accept all the emotions that come with being human, but to develop the will to stay the course that will benefit our children the most.  Only can we take responsibility for our own feelings and attitudes, our own actions, and yes, our own mistakes, can we move forward and truly be free.

I hope you will join along in reading this book with me.

Many blessings and much love,

Carrie

An Ordered Outer World For A Peaceful Family

Posted on by
19

This is an interesting phenomenon:

Bring order and warmth and beauty to your environment.

Use that order to bring order to your inner world.

Integrate your emotions, thoughts and actions as much as possible for peace.

We see this idea over and over again in Waldorf parenting and education.  If a little person is having a hard time at snack in a Waldorf Kindergarten, one of the first things a Waldorf Kindergarten teacher may do would be to straighten up the placemat, napkin, chair, glass, silverware around the child.  I believe there is a description of this in the book, “Beyond the Rainbow Bridge”, for those of you who may have that book.

Bring order and beauty to the child, and let that sink into giving the child order within.

In the book, “Awakening Beauty the Dr. Hauschka Way” by Susan West Kurz with Tom Monte, the author writes:  “Another simple way to experience your inner rhythms and to bring order to them is to create order in your environment.  Often when I feel my life is getting out of control, I organize my office, clean a room in my house, or arrange a drawer or my jewelry box.  It sounds mundane, but the act of creating order around me puts me in touch with the order within me.  It also helps me avoid trying to control everyone else around me.”   This book was recently given to me as a gift from a dear friend, and it really is a wonderfully nurturing book about the spiritual and physical foundations of beauty.

Order to create harmony.

I truly believe if you can tame your physical environment by paring down, and then add a healthy dose of rhythm on top of that, along with your own inner prayer life, you are well on your way toward creating a home life that is healthy.

With small children, less is more.  The environment should have less.  Children are very small, they are impulses and whims and giant sensory organs with no filters.  Think small, simple, beautiful.

Rhythm for small children also needs to have space and time to breathe.  Some families come to me and say they have no rhythm, but they really do.  Those “things” you see on the beautiful blogs, the art and the creating and such, are not necessarily the hallmark of rhythm when your oldest is five and under.  The hallmark there is bodily care, warming foods, warming touch and singing, practical work.  When your oldest children are in the grades and your younger ones are kindergarten aged, you will have much more of a centered rhythm and space and time to bring those other elements that one may associate with a Waldorf School.  Home is not school.  Home is a warm, peaceful and nurturing place.

You might be asking where to start with the physical environment.  If you truly find your environment out of control and need to start somewhere, please speak with your spouse or partner, your family members and plan several weekend afternoons when you have help with your small children. There is nothing so difficult as cleaning out things and watching your piles be carried all over the house by a band of small children.

I think children’s rooms should be havens for rest and sleep.  There is not need for many toys or books in the bedrooms.  The kitchen and dining area should be places of organization – how many glasses do you really need? how many plates?  how many gadgets?  Do you take your recyling and composting out promptly or do you have things hanging all over your kitchen waiting to go somewhere else?

Then look at your play areas and homeschooling areas.  Are things in baskets?  How many toys do you really need out at one time?  How many books do you need?  How much in the way of art supplies and such?  And how are these things organized – can your four year old pull up and chair and get down the stapler or glue or paint when you are not around?  Think ahead in the environment so as to avert disasters!

What is warm in your home?  What warming colors are there?  What things of natural beauty are there?  Are there plants and flowers?  Some things that are well-loved and worn? Those, to me, are beautiful.  Do you have religious objects that are inviting and comforting and calming?  Lovely.

To me, for small children, think about 14 outfits with outerwear for the elements.  Books?  About 6 for each season, rotated on the equinox and solstice dates for the beginning of each season.  Toys?  Not many, and those that are available; open ended.  Think practical work – does your child have the tools to help you with that?  “Gross motor toys” – bikes, scooters, jump ropes, are important. 

Pare down and bring soothing order to your home and your family life.

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Antidote To The Overwhelming Year

Posted on by
9

Some of you may well recall my previous post regarding “The Overwhelming Year” here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/02/23/the-overwhelming-year/   In part I wrote:

“In spite of times that are sometimes overwhelming, I  do not wish to  have a simple life.  I doubt my life will ever be simple; I am too enmeshed with raising small children and  helping mothers and  a myriad of other things for life to be simple.  Sometimes I  wish for balance, I always hope and look  for connection, but I do not  wish for things to be so simple that there is not striving.

If you are experiencing a complex year, an overwhelming year, I encourage you not to find the nearest exit and crawl out, but to work and strive to let these times mold you and shape you.  I encourage you to find humor, joy, truthfulness goodness and beauty.  I encourage you to find support in real-life people, not just the Internet.  I encourage you to become the expert on what YOU need and to become the expert regarding your own family and your own life.”

So, if you are experiencing an overwhelming year, a year of striving, a year of challenge, I thought I would share with you a few tactics I have been taking lately in order to move forward:

1.  Acknowledgement that you really cannot do it all, nor should you, and why would you want to?  I have spent the past several months cutting back on commitments outside my home the best that I could and that has helped me immensely.

2.  Don’t forget the physical body.  I am a big believer in the non-traditional things such as  homeopathy and using  flower essences but also in the traditional things such as eating and drinking enough, exercising, getting enough sleep in order to really recuperate.  I once read in reference to really exhausted and depleted Waldorf Teachers that perhaps the teacher would  need three or four months of really good sleep to fully recover.  Doesn’t that give you pause for a moment and an idea to put sleep as a priority?   A good complete physical by a conventional doctor is typically not a bad idea as well!

3.  Order your outer life so you can order your inner life.  I saw this principle profoundly and beautifully expressed here:  http://www.studyinbrown.com/writing/2011/3/22/order-and-routine-making-straight-paths-for-peace-part-2.html

Go read this, it will give you a lump in your throat  because it is that wonderful.

4.  Prayer, prayer, prayer.  Mothers who read this blog who do not have a spiritual life, a religious tradition, a prayer life, probably get tired of reading this suggestion on my blog.  But, I ask you, how do you intend to do all this business of raising a family, setting the tone in your home, all the things that family entails without these pieces?

5.  Art is life.  Paint, sculpt, write, read, play music.  I have heard it said that art sends light into the soul, need I say more?

Many blessings on your striving,

Carrie

Normal Stages in Sleep For The Child Ages 4-9

Posted on by
118

Some friends and I were recently discussing older children that take an hour or so to really fall asleep.  It reminded me of some of the things I have read regarding normal sleep stages. 

Around age three is when many children start to go to bed “well”, but they may wake up in the middle of the night and walk around or play.  This night waking often disappears by age four, and it may not disturb anyone in the family, but you may find them asleep in odd places in the morning.  

Four through seven year olds typically also go to sleep well, but five year olds often have terrible nightmares and wake up screaming.  Five and a half year olds and six year olds may also have nightmares, but are usually more readily quieted and calmed than the early five year old.

Children around the age of eight  and nine especially often have a really hard time going to sleep; but eight is a lower point for nightmares.  Typically there is a rise in nightmares again around the age of nine, which decreases by age ten.

I have seen many children who had trouble sleeping from infancy on; I have also seen children that had extreme trouble in sleeping in infancy who do quite well falling asleep and sleeping through the night during their preschool years and above.  It seems to vary widely from individual to individual.  It also has seemed to me, from what I have observed, is that children who were in co-sleeping families often do not seem to go through the “hard to go to sleep phase” of eight and nine.  That has just been my experience; please leave yours in the comment box.

One thing The Gesell Institute of Human Development recommends in their writings for children who are having trouble falling asleep is to check for allergies to artificial food dyes, but also the common allergens of dairy, wheat and corn.

Nighttime fears can also play a part in a child having difficulty going to sleep.  Children can fear wild animals, robbers, the safety of the home, and many other things before they try to go to sleep.  It seems the height of this can be for an eight year old.    I don’t know as there is any one set way to respond to these fears; I think much of how one approaches this depends on the individual child.  Sometimes I think the easiest thing to do in this situation is to accept that this is only for a season and to let the older child fall asleep in the parent’s bed and then move the child to their own room.

I would love to hear your stories on this subject in the comment box.

Many blessings,

Carrie

“Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma” Introduction

Posted on by
10

Well, let’s kick off our new book to look at chapter-by-chapter.  This book is by Nancy Samalin and Catherine Whitney.    Here is a link to this book on Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Love-Anger-Parental-Nancy-Samalin/dp/0140129928/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301051202&sr=8-1

I think most of us can agree that staying home with our children all day is wonderful; we wouldn’t want to trade that for the world.  Our children are precious, they are funny, and to hear their joy and laughter just makes our hearts feel good.  All that love wrapped up in a small package of childhood.   I personally have so much gratitude that I can stay home with my children and homeschool them.

But there is often another side that seems to go with parenting these days.  I am not sure if it is due to a combination of economic stress, a lack of extended family and other support due to families being more transitory, a lack of a cohesive view toward childhood in our society, a lack of turning toward a religious or spiritual path to help support and guide the parenting journey – but mothers today seem more confused, more stressed  and yes, more angry by their children’s behavior than ever before.

There it is, that parental dilemma of love and anger toward our children.  I don’t think it does much good to pretend that anger in parenting does not exist or to even strive toward having a valium-calm household.  Peaceful and loving household, yes.  Sterile and without emotion just so any conflict might be avoided, no.  That is not life in my book.

Living with children is messy, noisy, sleep-depriving at times, joyous, fun, wonderful.  I have said it before, and I will say it again:  parenting will stretch your soul like a yoga pose you can’t get out of.

I have met wonderful parents over my many years of working with parents, parents who were so mature and had it all together and were so self-controlled.  They were centered, and calm, and whilst they didn’t always do everything “right” (and what is that anyway?), they seemed to raise children who became great adults.

I want to be like that, don’t you?

So let’s take a walk through the introduction of this book!

In the Introduction to this book, the authors write, “I use this example (there is an opening example of parental anger written by none other than Dr. Benjamin Spock, MD who found himself in a blended family situation) to demonstrate that there are no absolute guidelines forged from our own experiences and the experiences of others. ….This caveat –that no single expert has all the answers-  is important to note, for you will not find  a series of no-fail solutions in the pages of this book.”

The goal of this book, the authors write, is to “offer practical, positive ways to redirect [that] anger.”

Many blessings as we go through this book,

Carrie

“The Journey Begins At Home: A Waldorf Early Years Guide”

Posted on by
11

I am so very pleased to be a contributor to the new Christopherus Homeschool Resources  book, “The Journey Begins At Home:  A Waldorf Early Years Guide”. 

This is a 330- plus paged ebook that will be released in May and it will cover nearly all topics related to the Early Years.  Here is the list of chapters from the ebook:

  • A Mother’s Path
  • The Peaceful Home
  • The Twelve Senses
  • Rhythm and Getting through the Day
  • Sleep, Co-Sleeping, Bedtimes and Naps
  • Breastfeeding and Weaning
  • Playing and Being with Other Children
  • Socialization
  • The Lure of Classes
  • Awakening Too Early
  • Toys
  • Potty Time
  • Strategies for Discipline
  • Too Much Dialogue
  • Is It Lying? Is It Stealing?
  • Whining
  • Separation and Attachment
  • The Right Thing at the Right Time
  • Destructive and Aggressive Behavior
  • Questions About Babies and Toddlers
  • The Three years Old
  • The Four Year Old
  • The Five Year Old
  • The Six Year Old
  • Stories, Nursery Rhymes and Puppets
  • Kindergarten Questions
  • Other People
  • Miscellaneous

You can read excerpts of the book here:  http://christopherushomeschool.typepad.com/blog/2011/03/a-new-early-years-book-from-christopherus.html

This book is done in a question and answer format compiled from threads on the Christopherus Waldorf At Home Forum that will be closing in June.  It preserves the privacy of the forum participants but maintains the warmth and love of those forum members and lets readers hear different voices, different ideas, along with lots of commentary from Donna Simmons in her warm and well-versed in Waldorf parenting way.

I have contributed some developmental pieces for sections, and also contributed my voice as a moderator for some of the threads.

I am so pleased, and I think you all will be as well.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Lenten Ideas

Posted on by
11

Let’s back up a moment and start with what I wrote last year.  Here is part of last year’s “Lent in the Waldorf Home” post in case you have not seen it before.  I think the words and spirit of it still ring true: 

“I love this quote from “Waldorf Education:  A Family Guide” as edited by Pamela Johnson Fenner and Karen L. Rivers:

“As Steiner writes in “Spiritual Bells of Easter, I”:

Festivals are meant to link the human soul with all that lives and weaves in the great universe.  We feel our souls expanding in a new way during these days at the beginning of spring…It is at this time of year, the time of Passover and Easter, that human souls can find that there lives…in the innermost core of their being, a fount of eternal, divine existence.

If we can begin to penetrate the cosmic significance of the mystery of this season, the rebirth of nature, the freeing of the Israelites, and the death and resurrection of Christ, we begin to understand that Easter is as A.P. Shepherd writes.”…the Festival of the spiritual future of humanity, the Festival of Hope and the Festival of Warning.”

Shrove Tuesday was this week.  This day grew from the practice of obtaining absolution –to be “shriven” or “shrove” before the forty-day fasting of Lent.  Years ago, this was a very strict dietary fast and meat and eggs and milk were used up before Lent started.  Pancake-making and tossing was often tradition on this special day, and I am sure many of you are familiar with the custom of Carnival (Karneval in Germany) leading up to Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. 

Ash Wednesday began with the practice of wearing a sackcloth for Lent and covering one’s head with ashes. 

“All Year Round” has this to say:”Lent has been kept as a time of penance, of strict self-denial, and for contemplating the sufferings and temptations of Jesus Christ as he fasted forty days in the wilderness.  Nowadays, the imposed strictness of Lent has been largely relaxed, and more emphasis placed on using the time to strengthen the inner life through spiritual education or appropriate self-discipline.  The long fasts of Lent and Advent were once used to make pilgrimages or “progresses” to holy places.  The word “progress implies not only the outer journey, but also the inner journey of the pilgrim – his progress in self-development.”

So, without further ado, here are some traditional ways to celebrate Lent:

  • Fasting and eating cleansing foods such as dandelion, nettles, leeks, chevril.  In anthroposophic terms, we talk about doing this as an example for children for this season.
  • Spring Cleaning!
  • Spending time away from outer stimulation and more time with an inward focus.
  • For a young child, “All Year Round” recommends spending time with your child each day doing one small thing to develop a Lenten mood.  This could include sitting together and listening to the birds sing in the morning in silence, taking time to look for the moon each night.
  • Decor:   a small unlit candle, bare twigs on the Nature Table, a bowl of dry earth or ashes on the Nature Table (you could plant seeds there on Palm Sunday so something grows during Holy Week).
  • Celebrate “Mothering Sunday” –the fourth Sunday in Lent was traditionally  when young people working away from home were given the day off to visit their mothers.  Traditional gifts include Sinnel Cake (like a fruit cake) and violets.

Some of the traditions we have include eating pancakes on Fat Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday), setting up our Nature Table as above, eating cleansing food and reducing certain components of our diet, participating in a Bible study for Lent (this year I am studying a part of the book of Psalms), reducing computer time and spending more time together as a family.

One craft to consider for yourself this time of year is wet- on- wet watercolor painting.  I painted the other night for an hour or so, making purple from red and blue.  It is very meditative and calming to do this, and the pictures you paint can then be cut into crosses for your Nature Table, or you can make a transparent part in your paintings with tissue paper of different colors.”

Here are some resources I am using this year:

The Anglican response for a carbon fast during Lent:  http://www.tearfund.org/Campaigning/Carbon+Fast.htm  and the day-by-day carbon fast calendar here:  http://www.tearfund.org/webdocs/website/Campaigning/CarbonFast09/Carbon%20Fast%20Flyer%202011.pdf

Collecting alms for the Episcopal Relief and Development “Basics For Life”:  http://www.er-d.org/GiftsForLife/4/65/

Readings from the Church Fathers:  http://www.monachos.net/content/lent

I am going to make this calendar with the children today:  http://thesefortydays.blogspot.com/2008/02/project-lenten-calendar.html

We will also bury the alleluia:  http://fullhomelydivinity.org/Lenten%20customs.htm

A Round-Up of Lenten Resources:  http://www.worship.ca/easter.html  and here:  http://anglicansonline.org/special/lent.html

We will make an Easter Garden as well.

One of the main things I have done this year is to make my calendar as empty as I can so I have time to pray, time to study the Bible, time to do my readings of the Church Fathers, time to be present in the small things, time to thank God for his blessings.  This has been my main resource this year: creating that time to be present in Lent.

Many blessings,

Carrie

A Lenten “Rule of Life”and A Parenting Plan for Renewal

Posted on by
12

Lent begins this week, a time of spiritual journeying.  Where are you going in your spiritual life and your parenting life right now?  I have some ideas and suggestions for you in this post to ponder and meditate on.

I have been thinking about Lent as this spiritual journey.  In the Episcopal tradition, we think of preparing for Lent and Lent as this spiritual journey in preparing for Easter.  On any journey, one would pack bags and prepare for travel. Lent is much the same way; we use something called “a rule of life” to prepare for Lent and Easter.   There is a lovely article about what this entails here: http://fullhomelydivinity.org/articles/Preparing%20for%20Lent.htm   but the main components for Lent include:

**Self-examination and repentance and specifically attempting to reconcile with those we have hurt or alienated throughout this year  (also the use of sacramental confession to a priest)
**Prayer, fasting, and self-denial
**Reading and meditating on God’s holy Word.

In parenting, I wonder what creating a ‘rule of life” for Lenten parenting would look like for you?

Would your self-examination of yourself led you to reconcile with yourself?  Would it lead you to forgive yourself for not being perfect?  Would it lead you to forgive your partner for not being perfect?  Would it lead you to a Family Mission Statement or a parenting plan to do things better?  Anglicans have a strong belief in responsible freedom.  How will you be responsible in making yourself better in setting the tone for your family? 

If you fast and deny yourself, can you deny yourself negative self-talk?  Complaining?  Too much explanation to small children?  Can you take up a journey of prayer and meditation?  Can you focus on finding a spiritual path even if you do not have one currently?

In reading and meditating, can you read something spiritual that is uplifting to you?  Can you read something positive that will help you in your parenting?  How can you renew and refresh yourself after the long dark days of Winter?

More about Lenten parenting and Lent traditions tomorrow.

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Overwhelming Year

Posted on by
23

Has anyone else been experiencing the Overwhelming Year?  It has been an interesting school year for us; it was hard for us to settle into a rhythm the first half of the year and then when we were finally settling in  my husband started to travel and I was solo.  It was the year when it became apparent that the activities my oldest child was involved in ramped up to levels that were beyond what I was capable of sustaining with the other small children. It was the year many of our friends’ family lives unraveled.  It was the year that things I wanted to get off my plate still remained.  It was the year I got asked back to work in physical therapy twice and I had to make the very difficult decision to not do that.  Twice.    It was the year things were not smooth; they were not always wonderful.

Yet, there were pockets of joy.  There have been times this year  I have acknowledged my weakest areas and met them head on.  There have been times of learning and growing and finding out about myself and delving more deeply into my values.    There have been times of connection and community that sustained me.  There have been people who have loved me just for being me.   I thank them.

In spite of times that are sometimes overwhelming, I  do not wish to  have a simple life.  I doubt my life will ever be simple; I am too enmeshed with raising small children and  helping mothers and  a myriad of other things for life to be simple.  Sometimes I  wish for balance, I always hope and look  for connection, but I do not  wish for things to be so simple that there is not striving.

If you are experiencing a complex year, an overwhelming year, I encourage you not to find the nearest exit and crawl out, but to work and strive to let these times mold you and shape you.  I encourage you to find humor, joy, truthfulness goodness and beauty.  I encourage you to find support in real-life people, not just the Internet.  I encourage you to become the expert on what YOU need and to become the expert regarding your own family and your own life.

Always striving, live big!

Carrie

The Quiet Beauty of Candlemas

Posted on by
14

Every year I am growing to like Candlemas as a holiday more and more.  Our preparations begin the night before Candlemas with prayers celebrating the arrival of Candlemas, that meeting of the New and the Old.

I love what “All Year Round” says in regards to Candlemas (and I know I quote this annually for those of you who have been reading this blog for some years, but I love this quote!).  Authors Ann Druitt, Christine Fynes-Clinton and Marije Rowling write:  “At the beginning of February, when the infant light of spring is greeted thankfully by the hoary winter earth, it seems fitting that we should celebrate a candle Festival to remember that moment when the Light of the World was received into the Temple, when the old yielded to the new.”

 

The above picture is the Presentation of Jesus, the new light of the world, to the old world gone before Him.  I believe Eastern churches sometimes call this day “The Meeting”.  Is that correct, my Orthodox friends?  How lovely.

One way we are celebrating in our home today is with traditional foods.    In the morning, I made apple crepes and for dinner we will have a sunny lentil soup with  tumeric- colored rolls.  We will dip candles this afternoon.  If candle-dipping is new to you, there are instructions in “All Year Round” and my friend Lisa has instructions with pictures on her blog for the preparation.  You can see here:   http://celebratetherhythmoflife.blogspot.com/2011/01/beeswax-candle-dipping-preparation.html

We set up the melted wax at one end of a table and a tall container of cool water at the other.  Once the child dips their wick  in the wax and walks around the table to dip the candle in the cool water, then it is time to dip again.  Over a period  a beautiful candle is born!  We work to keep the candle straight as we go and also to make the base bigger than the top so they can stand freely without falling over.

Here are some back posts I have written about Candlemas with many more ideas:

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/01/29/the-magic-of-candlemas/  and here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/01/10/candlemas-is-coming/

Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating in your home and with your family.

Many blessings,

Carrie