guest post: the child is the curriculum community

I am excited to share with you today a beautiful guest post today by Annie Hass, a talented artist and Waldorf homeschooling mother of 3 whom I am forunate enough to have as a friend.  She and her homeschooled son have created a beautiful endeavor that is combining so many things the homeschooling community has been wishing for – support, connection, book studies, ideas about self-care, homeschooling ideas, art tutorials, lesson plans by the block for Waldorf homeschoolers.  If you like holistic homeschooling, arts-based homeschooling or Waldorf homeschooling, I think you will love her new site!  I intend to put many homeschooling ideas over there, both for free and for sale.  Here is what Annie writes to you all:

The Child is the Curriculum:  Helping You Bravely Create Your Own Waldorf Homeschool Curriculum: A Manifesto!

Over the years online I have seen people ask so many times over “What is the best Waldorf curriculum to buy?” and a slew of varying answers would reply, all very valid and heartfelt responses. Just as often as I have seen this, I have also witnessed expressed frustration at the amount of money people have spent on various curriculum, especially when they didn’t wind up using all of it! Always in the back of my mind, I wondered why people weren’t selling curriculum by the main lesson block (the Waldorf version of a unit study). It was as if everyone was truly funneled into buying an entire year or more, or even a lifetime membership! That’s quite a commitment, especially for parents brand new to Waldorf. To many, Waldorf can seem too difficult, hard to understand, inaccessible, expensive. . . and the worst: elitist.

What makes Waldorf Education so out of reach for many? There is a multifaceted answer. The Waldorf schools themselves will cost a person $8000 – $14,000 per year. Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf Schools never intended it to be this way. Even with his recommendation that government should have no involvement with the Waldorf schools, he knew that the seed he planted would grow. He paralleled these recommendations with other ones for ethical banking and the economy that would make the Waldorf schools affordable for everyone called the Threefold Social Organism. Even though those recommendations were mainly ignored by society, the Waldorf schools were not. The Waldorf movement continues to grow and the demand for Waldorf inspired education grows by the hour. Even despite the cost. The cost remains high for both Waldorf Schools and curriculum, but is this necessary? Not when we remind everyone that Steiner said that Waldorf Education is a pedagogy, not a curriculum. He also said it can be applied anywhere. . . city or country, high or low income, and is not connected to circumstances. Waldorf Education at its core is a deep understanding of the human being. 

Another reason Waldorf seems out of reach for so many is the very materialism that Rudolf Steiner was trying to help us avoid. In this materialistic era, Waldorf can really seem like its all about the “stuff.” The natural toys, the supplies, and the expensive books, can be extremely tempting and make you feel like you NEED them to be truly Waldorf. You don’t. You can practice Waldorf best when you are really understanding your child. Anything else you can bring them should be there to serve this purpose! Their invisible needs should always come above and beyond the physical world. Steiner emphasized the importance of beauty and quality. . . but only it how it serves us inwardly, not for its own sake. You can give your child a sense of beauty and quality around them without giving a kidney at the same time! I will repeat the last sentence of the last paragraph: Waldorf Education at it’s core is a deep understanding of the human being.

Yet another reason Waldorf seems so out of reach is focusing on what we are doing as teachers more than who we are. We are often so consumed with bringing the “right” facts, and doing it the “right” way and feeling no confidence in ourselves to understand our children and how to bring them things. It really parallels what is going on with diet in the modern world. People long ago didn’t have to be told what to eat, they just ate. So too, have we lost our ability to spiritually understand how to educate in a meaningful way. We forget to do the inner work on ourselves. We forget that we can educate by understanding ourselves more, and seeking understanding of our children more is really what is most needed. The things that we actually do, and the specific things that we bring in a certain way only exist to serve this purpose. I will repeat the last sentence of the last two paragraphs: Waldorf Education at its core is a deep understanding of the human being.

One more reason many people just cannot fathom truly Waldorf Homeschooling, is that they think they do not have the time. When you have a peak at curriculums or a peak inside the schools and get a glimse at all that they are doing, you can get a feeling that you cannot possibly do all that it entails. It’s just too much! You may feel that you don’t have the skill, you may feel you need to overhaul your whole lifestyle, you may feel like you need to do as much in a day as a school does… complete with extra subjects!! You don’t. You can work all the necessary elements of Waldorf Education into your school year, in a way that works for your specific family. Your version of Waldorf will not look like anyone else’s, and that’s as it should be. Waldorf should mold into your life, your life shouldn’t have to mold into an outer other form of Waldorf. I will repeat the last sentence of the last three paragraphs: Waldorf Education at it’s core is a deep understanding of the human being.

I could go on, but I think I am getting the point across. So how do you create your own Waldorf curriculum? You stay at the core. Anytime you go astray from the core of what Waldorf is, you remind yourself again and again and again if you have to. If you want to truly do Waldorf at home, your time is better spent reading Steiner’s free online lectures than it is mulling over thousands of toys, hundreds of opinions, pressure to do anything that is too much, or anything that distracts you from the core. Spend time gaining a deep understanding of the human being.

One thing you will also need is some kind of support, whether it is local or online. When we speak with others on this path, it can really be reassuring and also a constant reminder to stay at the core of Waldorf! I have thought about creating a curriculum for the Waldorf Homeschool community in the past, but instead, after all I have been through, I decided to create something else instead. An extremely low cost website that helps homeschoolers create their own! A website that helps support them spiritually on their journey. The Child is the Curriculum is a Global Online Waldorf Homeschool Community and A La Carte Curriculum Source. It is just a baby now, and with lots of love and growing, members will help it blossom into a big beautiful vibrant thriving file sharing Waldorf community that supports and encourages parents of all incomes and circumstances.

Our goal for this new community is twofold. We have created a community space that is separate from social media, where homeschooling parents can come together to support one another and have a place to share their own unique gifts with the community. Also, we created a space where these resources are affordable and easily accessible. We want you to be able to both select content from other teachers/parents, and submit your own content. We want you to be able to custom curate your own curriculum while getting lots of support!

What are the benefits of a cooperative?

  • ~ Teacher Autonomy: you will no longer feel the weight of needing to do things in one specific way. Others will be sharing their unique way and it will inspire!
  • ~ Organized for Convenience: It’s organized by block and topic so you can easily find what you need as well as many who have shared their way of exploring that topic.
  • ~ Alternative to Social Media: Forums have the ability to foster lifelong friendships and make deeper connections. Social media can be a time drain, and a space for specific goals can help you stay focused and feel support.
  • ~ Book Clubs and Study Groups: Dive deeper with others by really getting at the core of Waldorf with our book club section! Let us help you study so it is more understandable.
  • ~ Book recommendations: Let us help you find books in your price range, and ones that meet what you really need so you aren’t wasting time and money.
  • ~ Downloads Feature: Upload and Download, sell or donate, your files! With a PayPal account, you can withdraw the funds you make from selling your ideas and purchase tutorials and blocks of other teachers!
  • ~ Forum Discussion and Mentorship: Receive help and discuss every grade and subject! We also have sections for caring for yourself as a parent, seasonal festivals, special needs, skill building, and so much more to help you.
  • ~ Blogging Platform: Create your own blog in our system to privately share your journey with other members. Or, link to your outer blog!
  • ~ Buy/Sell Trade: A section that allows you to swap your used Waldorf goods or buy from others
  • ~ Calendar and Events: mark seasonal festivals, plan each festival in our holiday/festival section, join us for Zoom conferences, and get updated about podcasts and webinars!
  • ~ Albums and galleries: Share your images or browse albums of others for inspiration!
  • ~ Teach a class! Use our Book Club system to teach a paying class. Charge other members a fee to come into your club and give your expertise on a subject or host one for free!
  • ~ Video tutorials: We have a video tutorial section for premium members. Share your own videos to get premium membership. Please see our website for more information!

Ultimately, this cooperative serves to remind you to stay at the core of Waldorf. The rest is there to help you feel empowered and inspired. We hope to help more homeschoolers gain the confidence they need to chart their own course! The Waldorf Homeschooling community really needs to shake things up a bit, throw off some myths and out of touch feelings, and bring everything back to being about the human being. In truth, you have already created your own curriculum. . . your very own child! 

Our community is located at www.thechildisthecurriculum.com

We hope to see you there!!!

 

Warmly,

Annie Haas

(Carrie here:  Hope to see you over there!  Many blessings and love)

 

 

 

 

 

 

your child’s vestibular system

Many blogs are talking about the vestibular system of children The vestibular system is  obviously important in looking at the development of children.  It helps us orient our head against gravity (head righting), helps with gaze stabilization, postural adjustments, reflex integration, movement perception, the overall tone of our body (are we stiff? floppy?) and stabilizing the head.  

The general symptoms of vestibular challenges include vertigo (feeling like you or objects are spinning around) or dizziness (unsteadiness, lightheadedness).  Poor balance, nausea, headache, visual disturbances, hearing loss, pain in the ears can also be a part of vestibular disorders.  It can be very fatiguing, and cause challenges with concentration, memory, and thinking.   However, many times children cannot describe any of these symptoms very well.

Vestibular difficulties, however, can often be hard to recognize in children or can be part of other issues that parents notice, such as gastroesophageal reflux. Symptoms that can tie into vestibular system problems include a history of developmental delay or delayed integration of reflexes, low visual spatial abilities, hearing loss (although you can have vestibular problems without hearing loss), motion sensitivity, clumsiness or poor hand-eye coordination, nystagmus, history of seizures, history of vertigo.   There may be a medical history of trauma or head-jarring sports, ear infections, migraines, meningitis, medications that affect the inner ear such as antibiotics or chemotherapy.  Torticollis in infancy can sometimes precede vertigo and vestibular problems.

The vestibular system develops very early and by 8 weeks the embryonic inner ear is similar to an adult’s.  The parts of the brain that work with the vestibular system are among the first part of the the brain to develop, and myelination of the vestibular pathways are completed within 16 weeks after birth.  The vestibular system is developing most between ages 4-6 for more mature motor patterns, and inegrates with other sensory and motor systems like the visual, tactile, proprioceptive system by the age of six, but continues developing all the way through age 15.  

The vestibular system provides the input for the motor control of the eyes.  The vestibular-ocular reflex is usually adult- like by 6 months (which is what maintains stable vision on the retina when one’s head moves) and ties into eye movement.  There is also a vestibulospinal reflex that stabilizes the head and body for automatic postural developments.  

The main diagnoses for children with vestibular disorders is Childhood Paroxysmal Vertigo, which is the most common disorder for children ages 2-12, and often comes with a family history of migraines, motion sensitivity, and sometimes a prior history of torticollis.  Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo of Childhood usually is from whiplash types of injuries or injuries to the skull or neck, birth injuries, or inner ear or labyrinthine concussions.   Less common conditions include Vestibular Neuronitis caused by bacteria or virus infections, or Meniere’s Disease of Children, which is an imbalance in the fluid of the vestibular system. Most blogs about the vestibular system are not referring to these specific conditions, however, but an overall sense of development or sensory challenges in which the vestibular system may play a part.

Children who have vestibular dysfunction often become overwhelmed by  environments that are overstimulating or too fast.  The largest part of parenting children with vestibular dysfunction is to observe and notice what, where, when things become overwhelming and learning how to help children.  They may not want to be touched as it may make them feel even more dizzy, nauseous, or overwhelmed, and they may develop anxiety.  

Developing the functionality of the vestibular system involves more than just spinning or hanging upside down or rolling. These types of things are important for overall gross motor development, and we know that the vestibular system develops strongly between the ages of 4-6.   So, these gross motor activities, along with walking on different surfaces,wheelbarrow walking, activities with rhythm instruments, obstacle courses are wonderful but most components of vestibular system development also need a visual component.

Some of my favorite exercises actually involve things like having a target on the way and having a child commando crawl toward the target keeping the eyes on the target and then crawl backward once they reach the target still keeping their eyes on the target.  I also like things like using an eye chart  or letters on the wall and having the child walk toward the chart and call out different letters.  Hitting a ball or balloon in the air and keep it off the ground is a great exercise as well.

Tell me about your experiences with vestibular system development!
Blessings,

Carrie

the hardest part about parenting teens – and how to fix it

I talk to parents of teens all the time, from all different walks of life.  Some teens are going along with school and activities; some are struggling with self-esteem issues due to learning disabilities; some are dealing with more serious issues like alcoholism, toxic dating situations, self-harm, and more.  Parents tell me over and over that there is very little support for dealing with parenting of teens, mainly because each teen is a complete individual, and there is a need for privacy so not everything can be shared the way parents shared things their toddlers or even early elementary children were going through.

The hardest part of parenting teens is knowing what to do!  Any general instruction seems to apply less and less and what happens in conversation really can be a reaction to a situation that already has taken place, and it’s hard to know how much to hold a boundary or push for more responsibility.  Our oldest will be turning 18 this summer, and we also have a fourteen year old in the house, so I totally understand these feelings!

The number one way you can fix the hardest part of parenting teens, besides spending time WITH THE TEEN IN FRONT OF YOU, is to understand teen development.  Every teen is an individual, but there are archtypal patterns to teenaged development that can help us figure out how to parent more effectively!

Early Adolescence- ages 13 to the big watershed changes surrounding ages 15/16

  • there is often an obvious placing of space by the teen between himself or herself and the family.  This is an age when many families complain their teens are in their rooms and not coming out.  This is a safety measure for a gradually new emerging human being who feels the need to protect him or herself as they gain their own perspectives on life.
  • this is often an age of confrontation against authority and boundaries, but behind that is often a measure of uncertainty.  Using communication skills can be helpful.  If you are unsure how to react, try reading the book “How to Listen so Teens Will Talk and How To Talk So Teens Will Listen.”
  • it is often an age of emotional extremes.  Ninth graders are certainly very much more like middle schoolers than eleventh graders.
  • It is a time of measuring oneself against others, which is why social media can be so harmful for many teens.  Please use boundaries and know what your children are doing online!
  • It is a time of using safety and boundaries (self imposed or parent imposed) versus delving into a more open world.  

How do you parent this stage?

  • Respectful communication
  • Spending time with your teen; they are going to open up working side by side, in the car, or before they go to sleep. Spend time with them!
  • Play ho-hum with the emotional extremes. Be steady.
  • Don’t let the world just open up with no boundaries.  They are too young and need your support, encouragement, boundaries, safety net.
  • Let them fail and take the consequences of things.  You can only help to a certain point regarding things that have to be done. Do not do it for them!  This will impair the later stages of development unfolding.

Middle Adolescence – ages 15 or 16 to 18

  • This is a time of increased personal responsibility and realizing that not everything is someone else’s fault.
  • They are experimenting with finding emotional intimacy in friends, maybe with a significant other, but hopefully finding a way that their own personality and beliefs remains intact in the relationships.
  • They don’t want to be identified with their childhood for right now!
  • They have enthusiasm for a new challenge and want to experience that within themselves or out in nature or in academics
  • They can feel inadequate or inferior and may hide their innermost feelings
  • Sensitive teens might regress and turn to escapism

How do you parent this age?

  • Understand their vulnerability; help them deal with their innermost feelings if they are sensitive but also let them take actions and fail – do not do everything for them in an attempt to shield them
  • Artistic work,whatever that entails, is really important for this age – so theater, drawing, painting, woodworking, building things, modeling or sculpting, handwork, book binding – are all really important forms for inner self-expression
  • Help them get the wider context and the enthusiasm for a challenge in a safer way, especially for those 15-17 year olds.
  • Be there, be present.  They need you to not do things for them, but to help them, guide them, empower them!  Some older teens need more set parameters than others.  Be careful with your own boundaries as to what you will carry.

Late Adolescence – ages 18 to 21

  • They are grappling with the big questions:  Who Am I?  What Do I Want?  What Am I Capable Of?  
  • Then they have to follow up these questions with their own actions – the actions come from their own abilities, so if they have had everything done for them in early and middle adolescence, late adolescence isn’t going to look pretty.
  • They still find it hard to accept criticism.  This can still be an age of idealism.
  • They may start to explore and recognize that their personal development also intersects with a cause or community and get involved.
  • They may find their own place, their own work, a significant other or group of friends and community

How Do You Parent This Age?

  • Support them as they try out different healthy  paths.
  • Help them develop a love for responsibility – if you did the work in early and middle adolescence, this will come naturally!
  • Help them identify the abilities they carry that will help them move into action
  • Encourage them

Those of you with teens, what are the most successful and least successful things you have done in parenting or seen other parents do during these years? I would love to hear from you.

Blessings and love,
Carrie

 

 

 

easy ways to own your life

When I came back from the Waldorf Homeschooling Conference, which was held March 8-9 in the Atlanta area, I wrote a post about owning it.  I got some great feedback on that post, and families who are hungry to have a more peaceful life, a more satisfying homeschooling experience, a better outlook as a family are wondering HOW to do it.

These are the easiest ways I can think of to own your life

Figure out your goals.  Sometimes this is easier said than done.  If your goal is nebulous, like increased family peace, I think you need to think about what parts of the day are not peaceful? Which child is derailing the peace?  Are you derailing the peace with your own reactions?  If you can really break it down, then you can set goals to really address the smallest and easiest steps that would have the biggest impact.

Ask yourself, what is the ONE thing I can do today toward my goal?  If you have a bigger, overarching goal, it may be that you can  break it down into five baby steps and then you have five things you could do to address those baby steps – but most of us can’t do five things in one day!  We can pick one thing and work towards that one thing, and then move on to another baby step and finally all the baby steps are conquered and the goal is within reach.

Check where you are. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I am exhausted from life and I need to be very careful about what goals I set,  how I intend to address them, and the timing of everything.  Sometimes I need to pick a different time to start or to give myself a lead in period to build up when to start the baby step for my goal.

Find accountability.  If there is another adult in the house, maybe that person can be your accountability partner. If not, find a friend who will support you or someone also trying to accomplish the same type of goal.  Check in with each other, and encourage each other!

You might need to put money in the game, and you will definitely need to put time in the game. That’s just the reality.  I talk to parents all the time who want to improve their marriage, but they don’t want to spend money on counseling, dates, babysitting (but admit they are getting nowhere fast on their own without any of that), or homeschooling parents who want everything laid out for their homeschooling adventure but don’t want to spend any money on a consultation or resources.  Not everything takes money but the reality is that  some things do.  Decide for yourself what you need to invest in, how much your investment should be or can be, and if it is an absolute and essential priority how you will get it done with the schedule you have today and the budget you have today or what you can change to meet your goal.

I love this season of renewal, and to me it is the jumping point for reaching some new goals – I would love to hear your goals around parenting and homeschooling.  Let’s share and support each other!

Blessings and love,
Carrie

owning it

This weekend I had the pleasure of presenting three sessions at a Waldorf homeschooling conference in the Southeast.  It was amazing to be there with Melisa Nielsen of Waldorf Essentials, Jean Miller of Waldorf-Inspired Learning, Jodie Mesler of Living Music, Judy Forster of Mama Jude’s, Brian and Robyn Wolfe of Waldorf*ish, and inner work leader Sheila Petruccelli.

A whole Friday night and Saturday focused on Waldorf homeschooling  for early years through high school and creating a peaceful home!   Can you imagine?

And as I looked around, it struck me that these participants – who had come to the Southeast from as far away as Seattle and Denver and Missouri  and all over the Southeast – had come here to do the work.  This made me so happy because…..

If we want something , we have to own it.

We have to figure out the work that will go into our goal, and map out the plan to get it done, and then have the initiative to really dig in and follow through.

Nothing is going to just fall into your lap.  It takes some time and effort.

This includes concrete goals in business, homeschooling, homemaking, parenting,  and life and also the goals of such elusive things as “happiness” or “peace.”  I always tell my older children that happiness will not fall on top of them like an anvil falling out of the sky , flattening the cartoon character.  We create these things in our lives, and we perservere through the things that are up and down in life with a focus on finding these things even in the bad moments.

So, ask yourself:

  • What would that goal look like for me?  Are my expectations/goals realistic?
  • What would be the  baby steps that I need to do to break down this goal?  What is one concrete step I could take today today?
  • Who could I help be on my team to help me create this goal?  What part would they need to play?

Get out of your own way, put yourself in the game, and help your children do the same.  This is responsibility. For a good American football analogy,  put yourself in the game and run the actual play, so to speak.  If you sit on the sidelines, you will never contribute to the touchdown as part of a team or make the touchdown yourself. 

What are you struggling with today and how can you own that?

 If you need help, I will be opening a few consultation slots in April.  I do this only a few times a year, so if you have something burning on your mind to accomplish for parenting or homeschooling, email at admin@theparentingpassageway.com so we can talk by phone! (I put out all my lesson plans and childhood developmental tips for FREE on this blog, and I have for ten years, but the phone consultations for paid clients. :))

Blessings and love,

Carrie

 

 

inward thirteen

Once the twelve year change is finally done, many teens hit a more inward phase.  This can be around thirteen and half, or for some just over fourteen years of age.  Sometimes we see this in the way a teen withdraws into their own room, or into their own art or whatever their interest is.  Some draw close to a beloved parent or other adult whom they trust and enjoy spending time with, but some teens are almost hyper-critical of their  parents, especially their mother, and are mainly just a shadow disappearing into their rooms.  It may seem that on the surface that not much makes them happy, so they sort of come across as the Eeyore of the family.

While the media often portrays this type of developmental stage as a teen wearing black sitting in (or wanting!) a  black room in a dark mood, I think it is a little more positive than that.  By withdrawing, the teen begins to figure out who they are in relation to their family, their friends, their community.  He or she protects him or herself from other’s criticisms, almost like the coccoon of a caterpillar so that the teen can emerge as the butterfly later down the road.  In homeschooling, I think this idea of the coccoon can extend to actually wanting to attend school because there may be more “privacy” there – an independent life without parents looking over one’s shoulder, or siblings looking over one’s shoulder.

Does this look different for a child raised with a lot of family attachment?  I think it does.  The really attached children I have seen, no matter what their type of schooling, often seem to withdraw from peers  but crave being in the family more, particularly those coveted one on one dates with a parent.  They may spend time in their rooms, but also enjoy “dates” with their parents without siblings around, may roll their eyes at some traditions or the idea of family vacations, but still have a terrific time. In fact, I think this age can be one of the times where we feel as if our insistence upon the family unit may really pay off!  However, if  you have done this, and you don’t feel like this age is working out that way for you and your teen and you feel like you failed, don’t panic.  Every teen has a different personality, a different temperament, a different love language, a different level of extroversiona  and introversion.  As long as there is nothing involving self-harm, being bullied or bullying other people, etc and you feel you have done all you can, then you can hold  your steady with your ho-hum.

Here are a few of my top tips in dealing with thirteen/fourteen year olds going through a more inward phase:

  1.  Keep a steady rhythm, especially limits on technology if that is involved, and bedtimes.  Meals and eating patterns seem to get more erratic around this age, so I think not just relying on the teen to fix themselves something but to have family meals continue just the same.  Your protection is important right now for health and developing healthy habits – this child is not 17 or 18 or even 16; there is a difference!
  2.  Do not  push for constant involvement with siblings or cousins or even friends, but do have some expectation as to what their part in a healthy family life would look like – game nights? Dates out with a parent?  A sibling day between your 13/14 year old and a sibling?  Family vacations- with or without a friend?  Do they have to help take care of a younger sibling? I find for many homeschooling families with these patterns in place, things may not shift a whole lot, but for some families it does depending upon the personality of the teen – so again, make your expectations known and be ho-hum about the emotional response.
  3. Many thirteen/fourteen year olds feel deeply at this age, but their responses can often be one word; they may shy away from physical touch by a parent.  Only you really can observe the child in front of you and decide how to approach that, when to push or not push for that further emotional intimacy. Sometimes it is okay for things to lie fallow for awhile; it is okay to be ho hum about things; please do not criticize so harshly – thirteen and fourteen year olds really take it to heart.
  4. Do plan time alone with your thirteen/fourteen year olds, especially if you have younger siblings in the house.  Many teens desperately need time away from younger siblings.
  5. Teens of this age usually have interests, and if they do not have interests, I think that for the sake of balance, see what interests you can help your teen discover.  Encourage and spend time on those, within balance. Many younger teens try to do all the things, and find themselves cranky and exhausted.  Protection is important for this age, but so is interest in the real world, in different cultures, in different ideas – otherwise the teen remains the center of his or her own universe into adulthood.
  6. Teens this age usually grow in the idea of responsibility and that not everything is someone else’s fault. If you don’t see this coming along, that may be something to nurture.
  7. The most pivotal time for adolescence is the fifteen/sixteen year change, so if you are dealing with things that seem out of the norm problematic, I highly suggest counseling and getting outside help in order to set up a better foundation for that change.  Boundaries and consequences, close family times, may be something that is argued about, but also leads to the adolescent feeling most secure.
  8. Sometimes adolescents need help in calming their emotional life and learning how to be less impulsive and dramatic, and some need help in raising empathy, sharing emotions, forming relationships.  Only you can decide what your teen needs.
  9. Adolescence is not a stable time, and many missteps can happen between the ages of 14-18.  Some adolescents really develop critical problems in their thinking about themselves and the world, or develop habits that aren’t healthy. You really need to be around, present, and while maintinging a ho-hum attitude, be ready to provide protection, or balance for your teen when they can’t do it themselves, consequences and boundaries for when they try out the wrong things, and help sooner rather than later if things are problematic.  Rudolf Steiner, the foundation of Waldorf Education, often said the times of hearing the inner voice most strongly may occur around ages 19, 38, and 56, so we try to give our teens the best foundation we can in the times of 14-18.

There is much more to say about the healthy development of adolescents, but I would love to hear your experiences. What were you like as an adolescent?  Does that influence how you are parenting your teen?

Blessings,

Carrie

How To Help Your Children Grow Up To Be Healthy Adults

Have you ever felt like every time you turn around that the news about this generation of children is just sad and scary?  There was an article on CNN.com yesterday about how 1 in 7 children and teen have a mental health condition (and that half go untreated).  Couple that with the statistics cited for all the new childhood epidemics, including asthma, ADHD/ADD, allergies and allergic eczema, food allergies and intolerances, celiac disease, obesity, learning disorders, autism, depression and anxiety, growing rates of suicide…people wonder what is going on with this generation of children?

We already know much of the answer to that:

  • Many are experiencing a hectic, arrythmical life, sometimes due to parental choice but sometimes due to no fault of the parents –  the fact is  that economically the entire family may have to work long hours just to cover rent and put food on the table
  • Many children are experiencing lack of loving adult presence – some children do not have a lot of  parental presence, true community,  or extended family involvement
  • Many are not experiencing enough movement, free play, or time outside in nature; too much adult-directed activity from an early age
  • Increasing  land, food, air, and  water toxicity 
  • Many are experiencing  too much screen time and not enough sleep
  • Many are not experiencing enough loving boundaries and not enough true and deep present attention …. If children could regulate themselves like adults and adult like an adult, they wouldn’t need a childhood. They could go straight into adulthood!
  • An increasing academic load from preschool onward that doesn’t account for the neurologic development of the brain nor how humans learn best. Hint: it’s not just through worksheets and pencil/paper work
  • Stress about college and grades  from the earliest of teen years (or even before) onward

So, what can YOU do as a parent to protect your children and provide a stable upbringing for your children so they can become healthy adults? I have some ideas!

Cut out screens when you are home and replace it with time outside; free play; undirected play, and yes, even play that you used to do that is now considered risky, like climbing trees and being out in the woods.

Set times that your children need to be outside if you live in an area that can support that. Otherwise, make going to places of nature a priority on weekends.

Teach your children how to do things around the house and give them chores to do. Do them as a family and teach them how to do it first, and then let them take responsibility

Set bedtimes and mealtimes.  Have a family night; spend time together, and expect good manners as a way of showing each other that you love each other.

Cut down the hectic pace of your life as much as possible!  Your children won’t die if they don’t do every extra-curricular activity under the sun

Get your own baggage and woundedness in order!  Your children deserve your time, your energy, your attention.  They need you to be your best you so you can support them!

Teach your children healthy habits about sleep, food, water, movement, how to deal with physical illness with both regular and alternative medicince and when they are old enough techniques for mindfulness and how to deal with stress.  Model this for them yourself!

Look at the child in front of you and what he or she needs.  Look at what boundaries would help balance them and make them healthy and set those boundaries lovingly.

Learn how to communicate lovingly with your children and guide them.

Protect them from stress. They shouldn’t have to handle stress like a 40 or 50 year old adult.

Promote developmental education in your school systems or homeschools  that include the arts, movement, volunteering, mindfulness, activities of kindness.  If you want to know what this would look like or what you could do, please email me at admin@theparentingpassageway.com.  

I would love to hear your ideas!

Blessings,

Carrie