my teen is lonely!

It’s itneresting that I hear this not only from homeschooled families, but also from families who have teens in a school setting, and probably more from the families with teens in school.  The teen years can be hard in that teens are often figuring out who they are.  Cliques and bullying can be an huge issue, especially in the middle school grades of 6-8, despite everything said at school about inclusion and being kind to everyone. IN high school, this seems to dissipate, but friendships often fade away and shift, particularly around tenth grade typically.

It can be hard for parents to navigate this time.  Sometimes it can be hard to tell what is loneliness versus moodiness versus being withdrawn versus being anxious and depressed.  Teens may be moody (and when does that line cross from moody to depressed?), and  they can withdraw from groups of friends they previously enjoyed to be with a new group of friends (which many times is around 10th grade).  Maybe the teens feel as if they tried many of the clubs or things geared to their interests, but for whatever reasons, they didn’t make good friends out of it.

I have read some sources that say lonely teens go on to be lonely adults because they don’t learn how to function in groups and practice social skills.  Well, if that isn’t panicking to the parents of a  lonely teen, I am not sure what is!  And I don’t think that is necessarily true.  I have a different take. I think as human beings we are always changing, always growing, and that it doesn’t have to be that way.  Change is possible.  Some people are more introverted,  and if your teen is, they may be happy with a smaller circle of friends both as a teen and as an adult.  But if your teen is lonely, I think change can come  in the upper years of high school and in college, and often these teens garner friends for life in a different setting.

In dealing with this situation, I think it is very important that first and foremost your teen spend time with you and the family.  This connection is loving and grounding.  It may not replace the  friendships and peers that they are lonely for, but they will  know they will always be loved and that the family is the first place of friendship.  

And,  in this connection and grounding with us, we can help facilitate. No, you can’t set up  really set up playdates for mid to older teens, but you can talk to your teen about how sometimes we have a circle of acquaintances and that it is great to reach out to someone you don’t know as well to see if they would like to do something.  Providing that bit of emotional coaching can be really helpful.  I have seen that many teens are lonely, but none of them seem especially willing to reach out!  That is so hard.  We can also encourage jobs, volunteer work, and activities where teens spend a good amount of time with other teens for a common goal – sports, music, theater, robotics, speech and debate – whateve

For those of you with younger teens, you  can encourage groups of friends going to do something instead of having just only one friend that everything is done with.  This helps for the high school years where things dissipate a bit more. Tenth grade is particular seems to be an age where many friendships fall apart and the social circle shifts.  You can help your younger teen explore interests and connect with peers over that interest.

I would also make sure you as the parent are not projecting your wishes for your teen’s social life on to them.  Make sure that they are actually seeking friends before you offer any words or actions to them.  They may be happy with the way things are, and it is up to us to respect that.  So make sure it is true loneliness, and not just you projecting that you think they are lonely!

Lastly, teens connecting over the Internet has replaced much of the going and hanging out somewhere, so I think always being aware of your teen’s digital connections is important, whether they are lonely and seeking friends on-line or that they feel their social needs are met through on-line venues. It really is open to us to keep the lines of communication open on that and to set and use the  boundaries we set as a family regarding media usage.

I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions for parents dealing with their lonely teens.

Blessings and love,

Carrie

 

Waldorf Resources For Homeschooling High School

I am thinking about high school again as I ordered some things for ninth grade (next fall; we are halfway through eighth grade) in with the Christmas orders! LOL.  You can see my post about Homeschooling High School: Should You? about some of the factors in deciding to homeschool high school, but today I want to talk a little bit about some of the Waldorf resources specific to homeschooling high school!

The tiny amount of resources available for those of us Waldorf homeschooling high school is growing!

Here is what I know of at this writing:

First of all, I think everyone considering homeschooling high school should read “Education For Adolescents” (free PDF) and “Kinesthetic Learning For Adolescents” (free)

For all subjects, there are some free resources available through The Online Waldorf Library.  These include compendiums on high school subjects throughout all the grades.  I have found great articles, ebooks and more regarding high school math; high school history and literature; high school science.

For math especially, there are publications available for purchase through Waldorf Publications and through Whole Spirit Press for Making Math Meaningful’s High School work.

For more complete curriculum:

Pieces of Live Education!can be used for early high school

Earthschooling has a high school curriculum written by Waldorf teachers for grades 9-12 – digital/video format.

Waldorf Essentials– Melisa Nielsen offer coaching for the high school grades, which is also free for members of her Thinking, Feeling, Willing program.  Waldorf Essentials has a ninth grade guide, and is working on other guides for grades 10-12.

There is a resource several people have alerted me too, Melisa Nielsen of Waldorf Essentials included, which is the course about the high school Main Lesson by Waldorf teacher Charisse Louw from Cape Town, South Africa.  Here is a link to a course, with a special price that extends until Black Friday (the day after American Thanksgiving)Waldorf High School Main Lesson: The Word

Jean Miller also does wonderful consulting; here is a post about what Waldorf homeschooling in high school looked like for her and her three children.

Christopherus is working on their high school curriculum and working with students directly.  This is an abbreviated version of a note from Donna Simmons (full text on The Parenting Passageway Facebook page):

Dear friends,

 

As many of you know, Christopherus is now expanding into high school. We are completing our middle grades curriculum (6th gr available in June 2019) and have already made a start with high school.

 

I am currently teaching language arts with an emphasis on writing and also history,via small group phone calls and individualized assignments, to a group of 9th graders. Our first semester is drawing to a close and there is the possibility of a few new students joining us in the new year. We do not use computer-bases learning in any way and indeed, half the class do not have their own emails.

 

I am also starting to compile a list of present 8th graders interested in joining the Fall program for 9th graders. This list is getting long! Do get on it if you are interested!

 

I am about to create an audio download about preparing for 9th grade for  all parents of homeschooled 8th graders, whether they wish to work with me or not. Our present group has had a steep learning curve in terms of deadlines and other expectations! I will help parents prepare in advance for some of this in the course of their 8th grade. Watch our newsletter, another special announcement email and homepage for further details.

 

If you are interested in any of this, please email me as soon as possible. Again, if you are interested n the winter/spring 9th gr classes,please get in touch immediately as it takes a bit of time for us to explore this possibility.

I would be very, very grateful if friends of Christopherus would kindly spread the word about these programs to anyone who might be interested. I am currently developing a 6 week residential program on an off-grid site for students 16-19 which will be very exciting!  Keep in touch if this interests you!

 

donna@christopherushomeschool.org

These are the resources I am aware of, hopefully with more to come as the Waldorf homeschooling high school market increases and there is more demand!

Many blessings,

Carrie

 

Applying for College As A Homeschooler

I just attended a workshop about applying to college as a homeschooler.  One of the main ideas in this session was that  many college admission officers are asking homeschooled applicants:  “What did you do with the freedom of homeschooling?”  In other words, being homeschooled in and of itself is not that interesting anymore in regards to the college application process!  What could your student’s homeschooling experience bring to the college of their choice?

So what can make the college application of a homeschooled student stand out?

interesting experiences – internships, volunteer hours, getting involved with a passion through a club or community situation, working with mentors. It doesn’t have to be an inch deep and a mile wide, but demonstrating some sort of enthusiasm over time is important!

socialization is STILL a consideration that many college admission officers look for. How well is your homeschooler “socialized”? Yes, this term may still make us bristle as homeschoolers, but again, this goes back to the importance of being involved and being able to show that on a college application.

letters of recommendation by adults who know the student well.  These are important for homeschoolers as it again demonstrates a wider connection to the community and usually to a demonstrated passion that the student can highlight in their application

-the elusive “fit” :  you can check http://www.unigo.com to look at the student life on any campus and see how your student’s profile compares to the students there. More than just a generic college application essay, admissioners officers want to know how your student fits into their university. So, with that idea, any essay question for the college should be geared towards how the student fits into that university’s environment and really highlight the student’s story.

interviews are very important for homeschooled applicants, and many universities do require this for homeschooled students

social media presence:  one thing that is new that may have changed from when YOU went to college is the student pursuing the university a bit by attending open houses or student tours, taking advantage of programs the university may hold for high school students, participating in polls or  yes, even following them on social media.  This demonstrates your student’s interest and yes, it can tip the scales in the admission process.

That’s what I learned recently; those of you who have had homeschoolers go on to college (not dual enrolled, but the traditional application process) – how was it for you?

Blessings,
Carrie

 

 

Financial Aid For College: What You Need To Know

In many countries, going to university is free.  Not so in the United States, where there is a complex process of garnering money from different sources and essentially what is the “price” of college may not be the final price once the financial pieces are put together. There are also comparisons to be draw between the systems of community college (usually a two-year degree), a public university system (usually done by state, like Univerity of Georgia or University of New York with multiple colleges falling into this system) or private universities.  Sometimes a private school, which has large private endowments, can end up with a comparable cost to a public university.

The cost of attending college includes both direct and indirect costs.  Direct costs are paid directly to the institution and may include things like tuition, room and board (board is essentially the meal plan) (check with the college whether or not your freshman has to live on campus; some colleges require this).  Sounds confusing?  It is, but here are some tips to help de-mystify the process a bit!

This information is accurate as of July 2018, but always changing, so please do check your resources.  Here are a few points about financial aid:

  1.  You have to apply for it and it doesn’t cost anything to apply.  You must apply every year starting October 1 of your student’s senior year of high school.
  2. Financial aid can be based on skills, abilities, etc but doesn’t automatically happen – you have to apply!  The four types of financial aid are grants, scholarships, student loans, and work study.  Grants and scholarships do not have to be paid back, but student loans obviously do need to be paid back.  Work study is often based upon financial need and assigned by the university, but some colleges offer work study to all students independent of financial need.  It depends upon the college.
  3. The FEDERAL Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) must be completed October 1 of your student’s senior year in high school and you must apply every year afterward.   Some colleges may require an institutional application for financial aid and/or something called a CSS Profile (this is usually for private universities) as well. State financial aid may have a separate application and deadline, so don’t miss the deadline for the state!
  4. The FAFSA is based upon your untaxed income and does not include retirement savings.  It includes information for both biological parents and includes the “prior prior year” – the incoming freshman class of 2019 is using the 2017 tax data.
  5. Sources for financial aid could include not only the federal governement but state awards, college and university endowments, private courses, civic organizations and places of worship, and employer. Most scholarships come from the local community – employers of parents of the student, credit unions/banks that the family does business with, civic groups, organizations the family belongs to.  Most scholarships are applied to tuition, not room and board.  Homeschoolers need to search out  local scholarships because this is the sort of thing that is typically funneled to a school guidance counselor, and since homeschooling parents are acting as the guidance counselor, we need to be on the lookout!

One number that colleges and universities work with is the “Expected Family Contribution”.  This number is used for calculating need-based financial aid and is a calculated from a federal government formula. Everyone panicks when they see this number, because it generates and parent and student contribution which is always a high number that no one feels they can meet.  The financial aid awarded is supposed to equal the cost of attending the college -the expected family contribution.

The other number that is important to know is essentially the net price for each college or university. You can get this number at studentaid.gov by entering your student’s GPA/test scores/financial data, and it will help you figure out what you might be awarded.

Blessings,

Carrie

 

 

Planning Eleventh Grade

We are getting ready for eleventh grade!  I think every homeschooled high schooler has a high school course that looks slightly different due to the interests and goals of that particular child, so I am uncertain if you really can follow what any homeschooled high schooler is doing as a particular template.

Homeschooling high school  also looks different from state to state within the the United States because homeschoolers may have different opportunities available to them depending upon what state they live in.  In our state, we don’t receive any money from the government toward homeschooling supplies or classes, and we cannot participate in anything the public school has to offer.  Because of the lack of ability to participate in public school classes or activities, homeschoolers here have brought it all together with outside classes for high school available a la carte, homeschool high school sports teams, homeschool proms and senior banquets and more.  I think the main problem in my area is finding secular classes for high school, as much of it tends to be based upon curriculums such as Abeka or Bob Jones or Apologia, let alone something that knows about Steiner education at the high school level.  However, there is one place not too far from me that does have some secular offerings.

So far, this is what we have done for high school for our college bound teen, organized loosely into credit hours based upon experiential offerings (lots of field trips) and living books and more.

Foreign Language – Spanish I and Spanish II (Oak Meadow)

Social Studies — American History that I put together; working our way through American Government (Oak Meadow and lots of living books we added to fit in with the theme of Greeks and civics found in Waldorf Schools tenth grade blocks), working our way through World History over three years (I put together and it includes a lot of social justice ideas that tie in with our literature blocks).

Science – Honors Biology with lab (I used Oak Meadow but added quite a bit of my own to it); AP Environmental Science with lab (outside class); this year will be Chemistry with lab at home and Botany will probably stretch between this eleventh grade year and next year.

Languague Arts – Literature and Composition I and II (I put together); this year will be World Literature outside the home and we will be doing Parsifal and Hamlet  plus some more African-American literature at home – this year in tenth grade we focused on ancient epics and contemporary post-Harlem Renaissance African-American literature.

Mathematics – Algebra I,  Geometry, Algebra II (all outside classes).  This year is Pre-Calculus.  Our student took both Geometry and Algebra II in tenth grade concurrently because she wanted to be able to hit Pre-Calculus in eleventh grade and Calculus in twelfth grade.

Electives: Music Theory and Performance I, II, this year will be III; Equine Medicine and Rehabilitation, Health (I pieced together with Oak Meadow but added many more resources).  Our daughter has an interest in psychology and medicine,  specifically infectious diseases, so trying to see what electives we can work around those interests.

As a recap, in homeschooling high school we can garner credits just through number of hours (roughly 120 hours for a credit in social sciences, language arts and 180 for science credits with lab; through getting through a textbook (probably least used in our house and definitely not used in Waldorf Education in a school setting)  or testing for credit. For example, some homeschoolers garner credits by studying for a CLEP exam.

My biggest piece of advice for homeschooling high school, especially for those who are college-bound,  is to know it  will all come together over the course of four years and you will have all the things you need, so don’t panic!  Be creative in your ways of looking at the basic ideas of math, science, etc.  There are many ways of doing this and then labeling what you have done in the “educate- ese” language that colleges understand. 🙂

Blessings and love,
Carrie