Author Archives: Carrie

Gentle Discipline By Age–Part Six

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Today we are up to common discipline challenges and responses for our terrific ten year olds!  Our last post about the nine-year-old and the nine year change, can be found here.

 

Gentle discipline is the mainstay of parenting life, because it encompasses guiding and validating the authentic spiritual being that is every human being and child.  It is a mindset to live by and parent by, and if you can master some of these techniques, you will find yourself even having more positive communication and conflict resolution with other adults.   In Part Two of this series,  we focused on birth through age 4.  In Part Three we looked at ages five and six and in Part Four at the ages of six and seven.  The mainstay of gentle discipline for these years begins with our own inner work and development, as discussed in Part One of this series.

As a quick recap of development up until this point, birth through age  four encompasses a time of protection, physical movement, warmth and trust and love in a caregiver and in a good world.  The ending of this stage sees the use of the words “I” and “no” NOT as an act of defiance or disobedience, but as growth into individuality.  Ages five and six also sees the same  importance of protection, physical movement, warmth, and love and trust in a caregiver continue but play and social experiences now expands during these years.   Ages seven and eight see a dichotomy in developmental outlook, with seven often being more insecure, wailing, gloomy;  a time of feeling the world is unfair and eight taking the bull by the horns with brash boasting and exaggerated tall tales. The nine year old is in a time of great change in the inner life of the child, typically with a more insecure and inward gesture.  The ten year old typically is in a smoother stage of childhood development with a niceness, goodness and friendliness about him or her.  Usually ten year olds love their family very much, love activities and outings,  and they typically don’t resist too much what you ask them to do; a fairly happy age.  The challenges parents write to me about  their ten year olds are as follows: Continue reading →

Wrap Up of Weeks Four and Five of Seventh and Fourth Grade

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I am trying to post a little wrap-up of each week of grades seven, four and five year old kindergarten year throughout the 36 weeks I have planned for school this year.  I hope this will encourage mothers that are homeschooling multiple children (or who want to but are worried!), and  encourage mothers that even homeschooling children of multiple ages who are far apart in age is doable.  You can find weeks two and three here.  Week one is  here. and further in back posts you can find a post pertaining to the first two days of school this year which gives insight to our general daily rhythm.

 

Our fourth week began with Continue reading →

Let’s Read: Simplicity Parenting

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Today we are talking about simplifying food, dinner, and sleep.  We are on page 116 of “Simplicity Parenting” and I am so glad to be reading about this topic today.  I think whenever things get a little out of kilter, we can always “re-set” our families by going back to basics regarding mealtimes, sleep and rest.

Food.  Kim John Payne recommends simplifying food.  He writes:

These basic guidelines can accompany you down the aisles of your supermarket:  Is this food designed to nourish, or to entertain?  To stimulate?  More simply, is this food designed, or was it grown?  Did it exist fifty years ago?  It is unnecessarily complex, with ingredients you can’t identify or pronounce?

Kim John Payne mentions that  the number one priority is to wean our children off of high processed snack and junk foods.  He reports in the families that have done this, it takes about one month for the palate to clear and the child to be able to recognize the fresh  flavors of real food.  Try seltzer water and juices instead of sugary soda.  Set limits at home.  Don’t give tiny children too many choices before they develop their own good judgment.  You are really helping by limiting choices in food to whole foods, and in  knowing that children need to try things at least eight times.  Once you simplify food, you may notice your children actually becoming less and less picky.

Meal plans and dinner time.  He also suggests Continue reading →

Wrap Up of Weeks Two and Three of Seventh and Fourth Grade

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I am trying to post a little wrap-up of each week of grades seven, four and five year old kindergarten year throughout the 36 weeks I have planned for school this year.  I hope this will encourage mothers that are homeschooling multiple children (or who want to but are worried!), and  encourage mothers that even homeschooling children of multiple ages who are far apart in age is doable.  You can find week one  here. and further in back posts you can find a post pertaining to the first two days of school this year which gives insight to our general daily rhythm.

Weeks two and three were fruitful.  Here is a glimpse into some of what we did during those two weeks:

Kindergarten – Our little four year old (soon to be five years old this fall) spent time with whittling under supervision, a simple circle with singing and circle games, watching puppet shows of the story “The Fishing Pond” from Suzanne Down’s work Old Gnome Through The Year.and working with our simple weekly rhythm of making salt dough, drawing or crafting, baking, nature walk and painting, along with cooking with his big sisters and housekeeping tasks.  He also helped plant seeds and has been busy watering each day.

Fourth Grade – In weeks two and three, our fourth grader worked with Continue reading →

Gentle Discipline By Age–Part Five

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Gentle discipline is the mainstay of parenting life, because it encompasses guiding and validating the authentic spiritual being that is every human being and child.  It is a mindset to live by and parent by, and if you can master some of these techniques, you will find yourself even having more positive communication and conflict resolution with other adults.   I have wanted to do a round-up of techniques by age, and here it finally is beginning.  I hope it will be helpful to you, and do please feel free to add your own thoughts or experiences to this list.

In Part Two,  we focused on birth through age 4.  In Part Three we looked at ages five and six and in Part Four at the ages of six and seven.  The mainstay of gentle discipline for these years begins with our own inner work and development, as discussed in Part One of this series.

Birth through age  four encompasses a time of protection, physical movement, warmth and trust and love in a caregiver and in a good world.  The ending of this stage sees the use of the words “I” and “no” not as an act of defiance or disobedience, but as growth into individuality.  Ages five and six also sees the same  importance of protection, physical movement, warmth, and love and trust in a caregiver continue.  However, play and social experiences now expands during these years, (although some children will not blossom into truly enjoying other children until the six/seven year transformation).  Play is the main theme for these years, and also a  look at the willing gesture involved in roles, power, and control.  Ages seven and eight see a dichotomy, with seven often being more insecure, wailing, gloomy;  a time of feeling the world is unfair and eight taking the bull by the horns with brash boasting and exaggerated tall tales.

Now we head into the world of nine.  The nine year change is one that gets a lot of press in Waldorf Education as a time of great change within the inner life of the child.  It can also be a time of increased maturity, with a child looking for more responsibility and a time of reaching out into the world for greater independence.

The best practices for discipline with a nine year old includes: Continue reading →

Monthly Anchor Points: September

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I love the month of September, a month of new beginnings for so many of us – for my Orthodox Christian friends, it is the beginning of the liturgical year; for many of us in America it marks Labor Day and the unofficial end of summer and beginning of fall, and for many it is the beginning of a new school year.

Fall is my favorite season, and I love the smells of fall, smoke from a good bonfire, crunching leaves, the snapping of twigs when we walk through the woods or on the farm, the delicious foods associated with fall harvest.  There is a beautiful poem in the book “All Year Round” on page 129 that could make a particularly lovely blessing for this time of year:

Thanks to our mother, the earth, which sustains us;

Thanks to the rivers and streams and their water;

Thanks to the corn and the grain fields that feed us;

Thanks to the herbs which protect us from illness;

Thanks to the bushes and trees and their fruiting;

Thanks to the moon and the stars in the darkness;

Thanks to the sun and his eye that looks earthward;

Thank the Great Spirit for all of his goodness.

Adapted from an Iroquois Indian address of thanksgiving

 

I am thinking a lot about harvest, apples, and acorns.  Apples are big in my state toward the midpoint of this month, and I have many “apple” things planned for our kindergarten aged child – apple prints, cooking with apples, baking apple bread, making dried apples, apple picking.  I also have ideas about leaves.  In the book “Mrs. Sharp’s Traditions”, an idea is suggested for a “Maple Leaf and Nutting Party”, which we can do here more in October or toward the end of this month.  Tree and leaf rubbings, leaf prints, collecting leaves and dipping them in glycerin are all fun seasonal things to do this month.

This is also the month that ends in the Feast Day of St. Michael and All Angels, known in the Waldorf tradition as Michaelmas Continue reading →

Gentle Discipline By Age–Part Four

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Gentle discipline is the mainstay of parenting life, because it encompasses guiding and validating the authentic spiritual being that is every human being and child.  It is a mindset to live by and parent by, and if you can master some of these techniques, you will find yourself even having more positive communication and conflict resolution with other adults.   I have wanted to do a round-up of techniques by age, and here it finally is beginning.  I hope it will be helpful to you, and do please feel free to add your own thoughts or experiences to this list.

In Part Two,  we focused on birth through age 4.  In Part Three we looked at ages five and six.    The mainstay of gentle discipline for these years begins with our own inner work and development, as discussed in Part One of this series.

Birth through age  four encompasses a time of protection, physical movement, warmth and trust and love in a caregiver and in a good world.  The ending of this stage sees the use of the words “I” and “no” not as an act of defiance or disobedience, but as growth into individuality.  Ages five and six also sees the same  importance of protection, physical movement, warmth, and love and trust in a caregiver continue.  However, play and social experiences now expands during these years, (although some children will not blossom into truly enjoying other children until the six/seven year transformation).  Play is the main theme for these years, and also a  look at the willing gesture involved in roles, power, and control.   If you would like to see more about the five and six year old, please see Part Three of this series:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2014/08/01/gentle-discipline-by-agepart-three/

Today we enter the realm of the seven and eight year old;  two ages of contrast for most children.  Descriptions of these two ages include the following from the “Your Seven Year Old” by Ames and Haber:  Continue reading →

Reads Worth Your While

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Here are some of the links I currently love and am pondering:

 

Here is a great link  about the value of a gap year before college.   Some of you may have small children and are no where near this point yet, but this could be a good save and read later link or a great link if you have teens.

 

Why all parents who have children in school should be rallying against the amount of homework we are seeing expected of children:  why children are better off without homework.

 

I love The Healthy Home Economist.  I like this post about packing the packing the healthy lunchbox.   Some more great lunch ideas here: recipes to freeze for lunches.

 

From Time on how screens are lowering children’s social skills.

 

Many blessings,
Carrie

The Sweetest Year of Parenting

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The sweetest year of parenting isn’t based upon an age of your child.  ALL of the ages are wonderful, despite what you might read about the “six/seven year transformation” or the “nine year change” or the “twelve year change”.  All of the things that happen during those developmental peaks are necessary in order for our children to grow, mature, learn and be able to handle themselves as adults out in the world.  This is not a cause to parent from fear or anger during these stages.  Instead, focus on the relationship between you and your child that you want to preserve and protect for adulthood.  Find your sweetest year of parenting yet.

Some things that make the sweetest year of parenting for me is when I Continue reading →

Let’s Read: Simplicity Parenting

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Rhythm calms and secures children, grounding them in the earth of family so they can branch out and grow.  The implication of rhythms is that there is an “author” behind how we do things as a family.  Parental authority is strengthened by rhythms; an “authority” is established that is gentle and understandable.  “This is what we do” also says, “There is order here, and safety.”

-Simplicity Parenting, page 103

 

To establish rhythm, Simplicity Parenting suggests: Continue reading →