Author Archives: Carrie

Music Curriculum for Recorders

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Jodie Mesler is back with Volume 2 of her music curriculum…Her curriculum works with recorder, Choroi flute or pennywhistle.  Here is what she says about her latest work:

Living Music From the Heart: Music Curriculum
Volume 2 

by Jodie Mesler

Living Music From the Heart: Music Curriculum Volume 2 is a playful and artistic teaching method that is for everyone, for experienced musicians, as well as for teachers with little or no music training, giving all very easy and pleasurable experience. For the in-experienced musician, you find how easy it is to sing and how to play music with the aid of the DVD tutorial and lesson book. For the experienced musician, you will find many helpful tips on how to teach your child in a more playful and fun way, very different from the strict academic methods of our youth. Your child must be at least seven years old, because this approach is for children in the grades. It is a primer method and anyone can start here to begin their very first musical instruction. Twenty lessons are included with techniques, games and over 50 simple pentatonic songs for you to enjoy.

The music lessons are set up so that children learn music by listening and imitating the teacher, therefore, you will learn how to read music notation in my next volume which will be specifically designed for children 9 years or older. Here you will get ideas on how to integrate singing, rhythms, games, and songs in a creative and playful way. My approach is based on the study of human development, inspired by a love of music, and has a deep respect for the way children learn. My method is for those who long for a more nurturing and living way of learning and teaching music, remembering that music is the language of the soul. In Living Music From the Heart Volume 1, the primary focus was on pleasing sounds, rhythms, and listening skills taught through imitation. In grade 2, it is time to learn simple pentatonic songs. By staying simply within the 5-note scale pattern, music becomes fulfilling and enjoyable. For the child we will weave in playing high and low, slow and fast, soft and loud, long and short. We will guide and inspire the child to have great technique through these songs and games as we teach him how to tongue, slur, listen, and make up his own songs.

I think the most important thing to remember during the training of using a starter blowing instrument, such as the penny whistle, is that you are working with the heart area. Your child is in the second stage of human development which is the heart and imagination stage. In that heart area, the lungs are also being developed and that is one of the reasons why Rudolf Steiner, founder of Waldorf Education, recommends a blowing instrument. Waldorf Education is the education which has inspired me to write a music method based on my years of research of this education, and based on my experience teaching private music lessons.

Steiner states in his lecture from The Kingdom of Childhood, “As early as possible the children should come to feel what it means for their own musical being to flow over into the objective instrument…if you can you should choose a wind instrument, as the children will learn most from this and will thereby gradually come to understand music… the human being feels the whole organism being enlarged. Processes that are otherwise only within the organism are carried over into the outside world.” Steiner also states in his lecture from The Foundations of Human Experience, “in these years (7-14 years old) we must always take care that, as teachers, we create what goes from us to the children in an exciting way so that it gives rise to the imagination. Teachers must inwardly and livingly present the subject material; they must fill it with imagination.”

Here is a complete overview of the lessons:

SONGS

  1. My Fingers Are Dancing
  2. Jack Be Nimble
  3. Like the Turtle
  4. Hush Little Baby
  5. One, Two, Buckle My Shoe
  6. Inch Worm
  7. Five Little Pumpkins Sitting on a Gate
  8. Little Miss Muffet
  9. Thunderstorm
  10. Old MacDonald
  11. Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater
  12. Tick Tock, Hear the Clock
  13. There Was a Man and He Was Mad
  14. Jack Sprat
  15. Jolly Old St. Nicholas
  16. Star Light, Star Bright
  17. A Song From My Heart
  18. Mary Had a Baby
  19. Little Jack Horner
  20. Turn Into Light
  21. Morning Song
  22. Polly Put the Kettle On
  23. Whisper Then Shout
  24. Shortnin’ Bread
  25. Little Poll Parrot
  26. Jogging With My Doggy
  27. Did You Go to the Barney?
  28. Georgie Porgie
  29. Clap With Me
  30. Little Liza Jane
  31. Little Robin Redbreast
  32. Swing Your Partner
  33. A Frog Went A-Courtin’
  34. Mary, Mary Quite Contrary
  35. Crocuses
  36. In the Springtime
  37. Humpty Dumpty
  38. Hot Cross Buns
  39. Johnny Get Your Haircut
  40. March Winds
  41. The Tooth Fairy
  42. Ducks in the Mill Pond
  43. It’s Raining, It’s Pouring
  44. The Dance
  45. Bought Me a Cat
  46. Little Tommy Tittlemouse
  47. Willow Tree
  48. Run, Chillen, Run
  49. High Diddle, Diddle
  50. Goodbye Old Paint
  51. Hickory Dickory Dock
  52. Fresh Tomatoes
  53. The Farmer in the Dell
  54. A Wise Old Owl
  55. We Are One Big Family
  56. The Crawdad Song

TECHNIQUES

  1. long tones
  2. pentatonic scale D, E, G, A, B, D’, E’, G’
  3. tonguing
  4. slurring
  5. rhythms
  6. improvisation
  7. high to low
  8. low to high
  9. descending
  10. ascending
  11. building a repertoire
  12. long tones and short tones and rests
  13. measuring tones
  14. tempos; slow, moderate, fast
  15. soft and loud
  16. swinging tempos

GAMES

  1. Blow Dragon Blow to strengthen lungs and build strong long tones
  2. Call & Response to fine tune rhythms and techniques
  3. Fix Your Leaky Tire to work on proper hand position
  4. High to Low or Low to High? learning how to hear the differences in tones
  5. Blowing Up Balloons to strengthen lungs and build strong long tones
  6. The Stopwatch Challenge to strengthen lungs and build strong long tones

Joyfully Creating,

Jodie Mesler

Music Curriculum Tutorial for penny whistle or recorder now available at:
http://homemusicmaking.com

Hope that helps some of you in your planning for fall!

Blessings,

Carrie

Christening Gowns

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Does anyone out there make these or know someone who makes them?  Do you have a favorite place to get a christening gown or christening outfit for your little boy?

Our son is going to be baptized  in June in St. Croix… very hot and humid.  Grandpa is excited to be performing the ceremony  (he is an Episcopalian priest) at the 250- year old- church where great-grandpa and other family members were baptized…

Any suggestions for this very special occasion?

Blessings,

Carrie

Renewal: Staying Home

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In this time of renewal between Easter and Ascension, in this time of planning for  Fall for many homeschooling mothers,  and in this time of evaluation for many parents as we all gear up for Summer (or Winter, if you are one of my dear Down Under readers!), I invite you to breathe and ask yourself this question:  How often am I going out of my home?

  • Is it every day and you have children under the age of seven?
  • Is your home and your homeschooling and your parenting where you would like it to be?
  • Could your time of lessons or classes or activities for your small  children be better spent elsewhere at this point? 

I understand if you are suffering from depression and really need that social connection and support of other mothers.  I really do understand if you are extremely outgoing like me and just get filled up by being with other mothers and other people…I really do understand!    I wrote a post about Social Isolation for Stay-At-Home mothers here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/24/social-isolation-for-stay-at-home-mothers/

But there has to be a balance, and if you are going out every day and if your under-seven child is involved in a plethora of activities, I just gently am nudging you to explore this.  Boundaries are important, and showing and modeling for your child how to set boundaries and maintain them is REALLY important as they grow up into a world that will most likely have even more blurred lines between personal and professional lives due to increased technology. 

I invite you to try to discern what really are  the most essential things in your life, and how the time you spend reflects what is most meaningful to you.  I am working on this right now, and it really is challenging me!

Particularly for the parents of very small under-aged five children, it is easy to get caught up in lessons, classes, and other things.  The ages under five (and under seven and yes, even under age nine!), to me, is an excellent place to experience an  unhurried concept of  time.   They will never have these days again!   There will be so many other years for classes, for lessons and for other activities and for rushing about on a schedule (which is different than the flowing rhythm of being at home).

Many mothers I speak with somehow feel their children will be “behind” if they don’t enroll in a number of things, and they point to things like elite Olympic athletes who start training at the age of four or something.  Actually, I like to point out that for a number of athletes, they started later or switched later from one sport to the sport that later became their Olympic sport.  I  also like to point out that if a four-year-old starts piano lessons, a seven or eight year old can typically catch up to where the four-year-old is in a matter of months because they are more mature and more coordinated.   There is something to be said for developmental maturity and neural pathways being mature and ready…. I am sure many with disagree on this point, but I guess what I am trying to say is that all is not lost if you take a summer and have nowhere to be or take your children’s under-seven years and be HOME.  That will probably provide a more lasting foundation  than any one-hour class that you are rushing your child and younger children and babies out the door for!

For homeschooling mothers, especially for mothers new to homeschooling, it is easy to think that one’s child should be involved in this and in that for “socialization” and for those things that just seem  harder to do at home.  Many times we tend to forget that home has its own advantages.

So, today, I am just giving you that gentle nudge to look into your heart as you plan for Fall. Think about how many days out of the home are necessary. If your children are small, it may not be what you think.  If your children are older, please do plan enough time to actually home school at home instead of trying to home school from your car.  Unhurried “digestion” of academic material is so important.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Musings for Waldorf Third Grade/Fourth Grade

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So, I am planning for homeschooling Waldorf Third Grade right now………

and I am glad I have started early.  There is a lot to figure out!

Many people talk about how Third Grade is the year of “doing” and how things in Fourth Grade really shift.  I actually see a bigger  shift occurring  in Fifth Grade, with the start of ancient history and such, with first through fourth leading up to this point in tracing human consciousness and evolution.  So,   I actually am planning Third and Fourth Grades together so they flow nicely.

This came about because I feel one has some decisions to make regarding Third and Fourth Grade:

1.  Do you want Third Grade to be the year of the Old Testament stories (Eugene Schwartz, Eric Fairman) or include Native American stories as well  (Melisa Nielsen, Donna Simmons)?

2.  Where will you put Native Americans? In with the Third Grade building block?  In with gardening in the Third Grade?  In with local geography in the Fourth Grade?

3.  Do you want to split the Old Testament Stories up between Third and Fourth Grade?  Donna Simmons makes an argument for that here:  http://christopherushomeschool.typepad.com/blog/2009/06/ot-stories-again.html

4.  What about those Norse myths – do want a shorter block of those, several blocks throughout the year, do you want to do any part of The Kalevala?  The Norse myths are dark, good for a TEN-year-old, do you want to put them toward the end  of Fourth Grade depending upon your child’s birthday?

5.  In Fourth Grade, do you want to bring in US Geography along with local geography?  I have heard good things about the way Melisa Nielsen approaches local geography in her Fourth Grade curriculum guide, and I like how Donna Simmons lays out her approach to geography through the grades here:  http://www.christopherushomeschool.org/waldorf-homeschool-publishing-and-consulting/curriculum/subjects/geography.html

According to “The Waldorf Curriculum Chart”  I have hanging on my wall, the following areas are typically covered in Third Grade:

  • History- Biblical stories as part of Ancient history and American Indian tales and fables.   History in the Fourth Grade includes  local history, why the early settlers chose your geographic location to live, how they developed the natural resources
  • You can see more about literature and skill development throughout the grades here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/03/10/history-and-literature-waldorf-homeschooling-grades-one-through-twelve/
  • Math – times tables, prime numbers, carrying and borrowing, problems in time and more goals are listed in other Waldorf math resource books (remember this is just a little chart with boxes!)
  • Housebuilding, farming, clothing are mentioned along with studies of the cycles of the year, soils, farm life, grains, vegetables and fruits, practical work in a garden, introducing colored pencils for writing (my daughter’s handwriting is exceptionally good so we probably are going to go with a fountain pen at this point), crochet work, forest walks and stories about trees and forests as an introduction to woodworking, beginning an instrument, lots of games and more!

Lots to think about!  Start now!

Blessings,

Carrie

Waldorf Third Grade Student Reading List

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Most students in Waldorf Third Grade are 8 and a half or nine years old.  They should be this age!  The third grade curriculum is designed specifically to speak to the developmental issues surrounding the nine-year change.  There are quite a few articles on this blog regarding the nine-year old if you need to look those up!  If your second grader is doing “third grade academics”, so be it, but please let the fables, folktales, Native American tales be the conduit to carry these pieces until they are eight and a half or nine and then ready for those Old Testament Stories!

Here are some suggestions for Third Grade Reading; most of these are geared toward a child who is close to nine or at that nine-year-old change.  The themes may be too much for children under nine, so please pre-read if your children are not yet nine!  Also,  please feel free to add your suggestions via the comment box below!

  • Mr. Popper’s Penguins – Atwater – always a fun story to re-visit even if you have done it before!  Children like repetition!
  • The Wizard of Oz series – Baum (and this may be early for the whole series, my 13 year old daughter is reading the entire series now and really enjoying them; there is violence and such so pre-read!)
  • Burgess – Nature Stories
  • Carpenter- Tales of a Korean Grandfather
  • Dahl, Roald – Matilda, etc. (This recommendation came from the “Waldorf Student Reading List” book- I personally don’t really like Roald Dahl’s work).
  • Holling C Holling – The Book of Indians
  • Juster – The Phantom Tollbooth (which I also like in Fourth Grade and Fifth Grade math blocks, so you might consider saving)
  • Kipling – Just So Stories, The Jungle Book
  • Ursula Le Guin – Catwings series
  • Osborne – American Tall Tales
  • Patterson – Angels, People, Rabbis and Kings from the Stories of the Jewish People
  • Chief Seattle’s Brother Eagle, Sister Sky (may want to preread, I have heard this is a tear-jerker!)
  • EB White – Stuart Little, Charlotte’s Web, The Trumpet of the Swan
  • Isabel Wyatt-  King Beetle-Tamer and Other Light-Hearted Wonder Tales, The Book of Fairy Princes
  • Ella Young- Celtic Wonder Tales, The Tangle-Coated Horse
  • Tove Jansson’s Moomintroll Series – either you love ‘em or hate ‘em; we love ‘em!
  • Rafe Martin’s The Boy Who Lived With Seals, The Brave Little Parrot
  • Meindert De Jong – The Wheel On the School (which you might consider saving for fourth grade for your Man and Animal block)
  • Brian Jacques – Redwall series
  • Susan Kantor’s One Hundred and One African-American Read-Alouds
  • Adele Geras – My Grandmother’s Stories:  A Collection of Jewish Folktales
  • Elizabeth Shub – The White Stallion
  • Phil Strong – Honk the Moose
  • Margaret Stranger – That Quail, Robert
  • Ethel Cook Eliot – The Wind Boy and others
  • E. Nesbit – Five Children and It and others
  • Farley Mowat – Owls in the Family – funny!
  • Donald Hall – Ox Cart Man – should be part of reading in your Farming Block along with “Farmer Boy” by Laura Ingalls Wilder
  • Noel Streatfield – Ballet Shoes and others
  • Dorothy Canfield Fisher – Understood Betsy
  • Carol Ryrie Brink – Caddie Woodlawn
  • Arthur Ransome’s Swallows and Amazons series
  • Astrid Lindgren – The Adventures of Pippi Longstocking – the reason we put these books around the nine-year-change is the lack of parents and Pippi as a strong individual character.
  • Selma Lagerlof’s The Wonderful Adventures of Nils
  • Elisa Bartone- Peppe the Lamplighter
  • Elizabeth Orton Jones – Twig – If you read it before, you can go back and re-read it!
  • Valerie Flournoy – Patchwork Quilt
  • Lois Lenski – Strawberry Girl, Texas Tomboy, etc.  I personally would hold off on these until at least fourth or fifth grade and perhaps tie them in with North American Geography for fifth grade, but up to you!
  • Robert Lawson – Rabbit Hill (pre-read)
  • Astrid Lindgren – Ronia the Robber’s Daughter  – I also like in fourth grade to tie in with map making but could be okay for third grade reading.  Pre-read and see what you think
  • Alice Dalglish’s The Bears in Hemlock Mountain
  • Johanna Speyri- Heidi
  • Anything by George MacDonald
  • Chronicles of Narnia Donna Simmons recommends for those 10 and up, but The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe might be okay for a nine-year-old.  I suggest waiting on JRR Tolkien.  Some children devour “The Hobbit” between the ages of 9 or 11, but my very avid 13 year old readers has started this book four times and has never gotten through it and finds the language hard to read.  So, do what you think is best!
  • Marguerite Henry’s horse books
  • Geraldine McCaughrean’s The Crystal Pool, The Golden Hoard, The Silver Treasure
  • Robert McClosky – I still love these, One Morning in Maine and the like and Homer Price and others are good for a nine-year-old.
  • Jospeph Bruchac – preread!   Donna Simmons recommends “Children of the Longhouse”
  • Enid Blyton –
  • George Seldon’s “Cricket in Times Square”

Again, please add your favorites at the bottom!  And please do pre-read, you know  your child best!

There is a comment below about Percy Jackson. I would not recommend these for third graders as the main characters are teens, the books are heavy on references to Roman Mythology which comes in the sixth grade curriculum in Waldorf, and there is violence.  I would put that series as reading for middle schoolers.

 

Blessings,

Carrie

Renewal: Mission Statements

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This is the time of renewal, this sacred and new time between Easter and Ascension.  This is a great time to take stock and start planning; plan for your personal development; plan for homeschooling (Waldorf mothers who are homeschooling the grades – have you ordered your materials yet?  Have you started laying out a flow to your blocks for the fall?); plan for what you would like to see happen between now and fall.

You are the architect, you are the designer, you are the artist of your life and the lives of your children.  If things are overwhelming right now,it is okay to say no to things.  It is okay to set boundaries.  It is okay to be real and authentic and honest about what you can and cannot handle!

One thing that always helps me is  to go back to our Family Mission Statement.  Here is a back post about writing a family mission statement, you can see that here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/08/creating-a-family-mission-statement/  Once you have this piece of paper, please do make sure to review it, use it, keep it in your mind as you make decisions.  It should be like a guiding compass for your family and the things you choose to do as a family. 

The other thing that can keep you centered is to have your own Personal Mission Statement or what some people call a Personal Vision Statement.  The more you can develop yourself, learn about yourself, and calm and center yourself (which means actually figuring out what makes you feel calm and centered to begin with :)), your family will absolutely benefit.  Children want a mother that is calmly in control of things and can be a resource, a guide, a boundary, a wall to bounce off if need be – but a gentle, calm and nurturing presence.  What children don’t want is out- of- control, screaming and yelling parents where the whole atmosphere of the house feels stressed and falling apart.  You can get to the first thing, but you have to stop and think. 

  • Think about what would make the biggest difference in your life to make yourself more calm.
  • Think about what your priorities really are, and how your life could reflect that. 
  • How could your marriage be a priority?  What would that look like?
  • If your children are small, they must be a priority.  They are depending upon you to guide them and to love them and to teach them.
  • What do you want your homeschooling adventure to look like?  Have you assessed your child and know what they need to work on – not just “skill-wise” but also emotionally, physically, spiritually?  What do they need to develop into “whole” human beings?  What would your homeschooling look like to reflect that?  Now is the time to assess for next year’s planning.  You cannot figure out what you are going to do in homeschooling next year unless you have assessed where your child is right now, and some of the biggest homeschooling lessons have nothing to do with academic skills at all.

Just a few thoughts for today.

Many blessings to you,

Carrie

Thank You To My Referrers!

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Thank you to my top 5 referrers for the past 7 days:

Thank you also to my top referrers for the past 30 days:

And thank you to those of you who are my top referrers of ALL TIME, since this blog started in October of 2008:

 

In addition to checking out the above blogs, I  also would LOVE to take this chance to point out a few blogs I also love to follow, and hope you will like them as well!!

 

Thank you to all of you who link to me, or who think something I write is thought-provoking enough to write a comment on, or pass on to your friends.  It is humbling, and always makes me want to strive to write more.

Many thanks, much gratitude, and many blessings to you all!

Love,

Carrie

“Discipline Without Distress”: Ages 6-12

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The title of this chapter is “Discipline Tools for School-aged Children 6-12:  Talk and action”.  I know many of you have been clamoring for information and ideas regarding guidance of the “older” child, so let’s see if this chapter can be of any help.  I am hoping to finish this book up this month, so in June we can start our NEW book, “Hold On To Your Kids:  Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers” by Neufeld and Mate here:  http://www.amazon.com/Hold-Your-Kids-Parents-Matter/dp/0375760288/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272674694&sr=1-1  This is a great book, and I think many of you will find it useful!

Back to “Discipline Without Distress.”  You can use the search engine to search for reviews of previous chapters.

First of all, the author starts this chapter with this quote, “There is a reason children don’t start their formal education until age six.  Their brains are not mature enough to handle formal learning. So why then do we expect children zero to five to instantly learn and behave from discipline, when we know they can’t remember four times five yet?”

The author remarks that the SCHOOL-AGED years are the right time to start to teach children right from wrong (which fits in with Steiner’s view that this could only begin to be awakened around age five).  These are the best years to teach and guide.

The author starts the chapter by reviewing typical school-aged behaviors and remarks that children this age “need to experiment with and explore social rules and roles.  They learn to argue, question and honor rules.  They also learn to test and negotiate rules.  What are they for?  How are they made?  What happens when rules are broken?  How different are other families’ rules?”  She has a long list of physical, psychosocial and cognitive milestones and then a list of unhelpful parenting behaviors and helpful parenting behaviors. 

Here are a few:

  • “Stay with your no’s, but your no’s should be getting further and farther in between as  your child makes choices and decisions on their own behalf.”   I would personally argue that this is for the child past the nine-year change and that six, seven and eight is still pretty little.
  • Ignore provocations.  She writes, “Refusing to participate in the power struggle doesn’t mean that you lose.  It means you are the adult and can think and remain calm enough to take a break from the emotional situation.”  Well-said, in my opinion!
  • She talks about asking reflective questions, and I really think this is a tool for those past the nine-year change, not before. In fact, this is probably even more appropriate for a child who is nearing the twelve-year change and has a stronger sense of logic and consequences, which even an eight year old doesn’t really have in full force yet.

The author gives a whole list of guidelines for family meetings.  I would love to hear from some of you who hold family meetings and whether or not you think this is a valuable tool for children who are above age 7 – please do leave a comment in the box!

Judy Arnall remarks that children need supervision at least until age 10. Please, please do keep that in mind!  It is important!  It is also very, very important to spend time with your child at this age and to connect with them!  She talks about using humor, walking away from “attitude” and teaching “calm-down” tools.    She also talks about the importance of  NOT over-scheduling this age group, and the importance of downtime.  She writes, “Children who are enrolled in nothing other than school have just as equal chance of success in life as an overscheduled child. Perhaps more, in that they have had much more downtime to reflect, dream, process information, and relax.”  I love this, and I think THIS is a true benefit of homeschooling, to be honest!

There are further sections on solving school problems, consequences, peer pressure and dealing with negative peer pressure, and handling bullies.

She also writes about the importance of modeling INTEGRITY for this age group.  This is right up my family’s alley, and is part of our Family Mission Statement (Kindness, Positive Attitude and Integrity!)..”Integrity is about doing the right thing when it’s not always convenient, cheap, or easy to do so, and even when no one is looking or there is no way to get caught.  It’s about whether one can face {oneself} in the mirror and feel good about {his or her} actions.  It’s about being honest and integral to the self-image of who they are.”   The author even throws in a simple quiz for you, the parent, to take regarding your “Integrity Quotient.”  See page 315!

Great food for thought in this chapter – two more chapters to go!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Yelling in Parenting

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Judging by statistics I read, spanking is still a problem.  Yet, this doesn’t seem to be something the mothers I know  personally do– none of them spank. (Yes, I live in a bubble, I guess!)

Time-out and the isolation of a child due to  challenging behavior, whilst a problem in the US (and confirmed by my international readers that this really doesn’t come up in other countries), is again,  not something the mothers I personally know seem to do.  (Yes, again, I live in a bubble).

But yelling seems to be almost a commonality.  And most of all, this seems to be something that occurs with even more frequency with children who are over the age of 7 rather  than small children.

It is almost as if the lie of anger wins – you know, the lie in one’s head that says, “My goodness!  They are seven years old!  They KNOW better than that!  They are just doing this to make me angry!  They are trying to push my buttons!”

Anger looks at ONLY the negative, anger makes us feel as if we must “fix” this problem right away or our child will grow up to be this horrible human being, anger makes us feel as if the normal things that children do being children need to be squashed and stomped on instead of being calmly guided.

And underneath that anger, is our own needs.  Our own very real fear.  Our own very real fatigue and loneliness.  Our own distraction with other things that really have nothing to do with our child. 

From an attachment standpoint, yelling makes very little sense because we want to treat our children with dignity and  we know children need our guidance.  But trying to guide a child with yelling is a little like trying to drive a car by solely using the horn.  Your guidance, your message will be lost in the delivery.

From a Waldorf perspective, yelling is not a tool to use for discipline.  A small child lives in the will, the doing, and in the lower senses – and guess what?  Hearing is not one of the lower four senses that make up the willing senses of the small child! 

What can you do instead of yelling?

1. PLAN your day – children need time to let off steam, and children also need time to calm down.  Limit how many places you are trying to get your children off to, because if Mommy is less stressed then everyone is happier!  Children truly need less activities, more time at home, less lessons and classes and more time with family.

2.  CALL IT QUITS – If it is close to bedtime and everyone is falling apart, sometimes all you can do is get through it and get everyone off to bed.  Recognize the times when the lesson will be lost due to hunger, needing sleep, etc.  Raising a child is not a “one-shot” deal – your child can still grow up to be a wonderful adult even if you don’t “hammer the point” over and over.

3.  For the older children, be careful too not equate the 7-9 year old with a teenager in terms of reasoning skills!  Here are some of my thoughts regarding talking to the seven and eight year old:https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/26/how-to-talk-to-your-seven-and-eight-year-old/ 

Make sure what you expect is actually developmentally appropriate.

4.  WALK IT OFF – If you feel so angry that you are going to explode, go outside and calm down and then come back and guide.  If you get angry again, go back outside.  You can only effectively guide your child when you are calm. 

5.  STICK TO THE BOUNDARY – None of this is to say the boundary should not be kept.  The boundary needs to be kept!  The behavior must be guided, but CALMLY.

6. TRY LESS WORDS – If you talk, explain, re-hash, lecture, write the book down and leave it on their pillow, you are using too many words and the child is tuning you out!  Less words!  Control your verbal spillage!

7.  MORE WORK– Yes, you will have to do chores with them when they are under the age of seven.  Yes, when they ages seven through nine they will get distracted and will need verbal reminders.  Yes, the effort is worth it, and knowing that  training a child to do chores requires effort will hopefully help you not to yell so much about it!

8.  BOUNDARIES ON FRIENDS – There should be no guilt in having “family-only” time during the week and week-ends.  Simplifying makes life less stressful and less stressful means less yelling!

9. FILL YOUR OWN TANK – It is hard when you have babies and toddlers to get time to yourself, but involve Dad and family.  Also catch those small moments.  Catch a few minutes to read after your child goes to sleep.  Sing while you do the dishes.  Keep filling up your tank, so you can be calm and centered,

10.  JUST BECAUSE YOUR CHILD IS HAVING A BAD DAY DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO!  Your child will not remember ten years from now why you yelled at them; they will only remember how things felt generally and how you made them feel.  If you can model being calm and controlled, think of what a powerful life lesson that could be for your child to see and learn from!

11. CONNECTION – keep connecting with this child; love this child.  That is the most important key to discipline.

12.  SOLVE THE PROBLEM – If your older child is always being noisy during a younger child’s naptime, and you yell, what could you do to solve the problem instead?  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different to happen!

Don’t let the big lie of anger get you!  You don’t have to yell.  Model this calmness during the “breaking points” and your whole family will benefit! During this period of renewal between Easter and Ascension, commit to not yelling.

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Adult Will And How To Develop It

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The development of will for personal issues, such as being able to go to bed, get up on time, stick to a flow of the day, to me, can be much further addressed in several areas:

1.  Use of forty days to establish a new habit.  Not just twenty-one days, but forty.  To work on one thing at a time!

2.   The will is an outward gesture of DOING.  I think it was Zig Ziglar who said, “Do it, and you will be motivated to do it.”  Sometimes we think too hard, plan too much, and we just need to do it. 

3.  I think handwork is a perfect place to develop your will.  Anytime you “eyeball” something and work with doing, you are developing those faculties of will.

4.  Try it, and if you fail, try again! The key is in the striving!  Pick a friend or have your spouse help you be accountable!

Many blessings to you on this new day, this new moment! 

Carrie