(So, this is the kick in the fanny post that is a continuation of the post I just did about showing warmth and being a light for others this season, but from the polar opposite side of the issue. If you are not in the mood for this, feel free to return for the next post, which will be lighter! )
Part of parenting, and a huge part of Waldorf homeschooling, is the spiritual journey we should all be on to develop our spiritual lives. What we are is what we teach our children and what we show the world and how we interact with the world.
Fear and anger cannot drive a family life or a community without ripping it apart, even if you try to cover it up with other happier things. It is one of the great challenges of our time to face our “lesser guardian”, the really negative within ourselves, and to embrace that and integrate that and come out on top. One book that talks about this extensively is this one by Bernard Lievegoed: http://www.amazon.com/Man-Threshold-Social-Ecology-Series/dp/0950706264/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1352202308&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=on+the+threshold+bernard+lievegood
There is a lot of inner work to be done to do this. I suggest that a good counselor or wise spiritual advisor within your religious community can be worth his or her weight in gold if you can find the right one.
Half of the battle is acknowledging that we all come with certain filters, certain prejudices, a certain path and to see where that places us into fear and anger, and then facing that so then we can fully embrace others where they are and LOVE others fully in community.
In order to be able to integrate fully with others, we have to take responsibility for our own emotions and how we dump that on other people, or how fear and anger isolates us from others. We have to look hard and long at how our fear and anger contributes to how we end up feeling about our family life, our homeschool community and the world and what we are showing of this to our children. So the other half of this becomes a part of our will – will we work on these areas, how will we do it, how consistently will we do it? That involves not only recognizing what is going on within ourselves, but doing something about it.
Some people suggest that people homeschool in general because they are fearful of the world, or angry at “the system”. I personally do not homeschool so I can “protect” my children from everything in the world, as often gets suggested to homeschoolers, and I certainly don’t work to form a family culture and a homeschooling journey to keep my children isolated.
My homeschooling and parenting is about bringing in things at the right time developmentally, which seems to be a lost art in today’s society of parenting and education, so my children can grow up and live freely and fully in their community and in the world. I expect them to be so steady and stable that they will be able to help others and take care of their own families in a beautiful, functional and joyous way. I expect them to be ready to rock the world when the time is right because that is how my family rolls.
Face your anger and face your fear; it is not only holding you and your children back, but it is also holding back your community and the world. You are worthy; you can bring something so positive to the world, and only YOU can bring it. The people who are in your life are not there by accident, you are there together to love each other and help each other.
Love yourself and love others, live in joy,