What Is In Your Way Of Being A Light?: Anger and Fear

(So, this is the kick in the fanny post that is a continuation of the post I just did about showing warmth and being a light for others this season, but from the polar opposite side of the issue.  If you are not in the mood for this, feel free to return for the next post, which will be lighter!  Smile)

Part of parenting, and a huge part of Waldorf homeschooling, is the spiritual journey we should all be on to develop our spiritual lives.  What we are is what we teach our children and what we show the world and how we interact with the world.

Fear and anger cannot drive a family life or a community without ripping it apart, even if you try to cover it up with other happier things.  It is one of the great challenges of our time to face our “lesser guardian”, the really negative within ourselves, and to embrace that and integrate that and come out on top. One book that talks about this extensively is this one by Bernard Lievegoed:  http://www.amazon.com/Man-Threshold-Social-Ecology-Series/dp/0950706264/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1352202308&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=on+the+threshold+bernard+lievegood

There is a lot of inner work to be done to do this.  I suggest that a good counselor or wise spiritual advisor  within your religious community can be worth his or her weight in gold if you can find the right one.

Half of the battle is acknowledging that we all come with certain filters, certain prejudices, a certain path and to see where that places us into fear and anger, and then facing that so then we can fully embrace others where they are and LOVE others fully in community.

In order to be able to integrate fully with others, we have to take responsibility for our own emotions and how we dump that on other people, or how fear and anger isolates us from others.  We have to look hard and long at how our fear and anger  contributes to how we end up feeling about our family life, our homeschool community and the world and what we are showing of this to our children.   So the other half of this becomes a part of our will – will we work on these areas, how will we do it, how consistently will we do it? That involves not only recognizing what is going on within ourselves, but doing something about it.

Some people suggest that people homeschool in general because they are fearful of the world, or angry at “the system”.  I personally do not homeschool so I can “protect” my children from everything in the world, as often gets suggested to homeschoolers, and  I certainly don’t work to form a family culture and a homeschooling journey to keep my children isolated.

My homeschooling and parenting is about bringing in things at the right time developmentally, which seems to be a lost art in today’s society of parenting and education, so my children can grow up and live freely and fully in their community and in the world.  I expect them to be so steady and stable that they will be able to help others and take care of their own families in a beautiful, functional and joyous way.  I expect them to be ready to rock the world when the time is right because that is how my family rolls.

Face your anger and face your fear; it is not only holding you and your children back, but it is also holding back  your community and the world.  You are worthy; you can bring something so positive to the world, and only YOU can  bring it.  The people who are in your life are not there by accident, you are there together to love each other and help each other.

Love yourself and love others, live in joy,


7 thoughts on “What Is In Your Way Of Being A Light?: Anger and Fear

  1. Very interesting, ESP in the context of election day. Our culture is so entrenched in playing in fear and anger, it can be tough to even see it as a problem. Anger and reactivity/negativity can be really hard for me to reframe. I have figured out (through you, actually) that much of my anger can be traced back to a lack of boundaries… Whether with my kids behavior or just how I allow others moods/negativity to influence me. Creating that ‘space’ you talk about around myself really lowers my frustrations and anger… And allows me to view things from a positive angle.

    • Kendra,
      Boundaries are key! Stay strong, maintain you in the current and tidal ebb and flow of the day. It really helps everyone!

  2. I love this post, thank you Carrie. My Buddhist meditation and mindfulness practices help me grow in so many ways. What has been transformative for me lately is my studies of the concept of the “self.” A couple of months ago I decided to try expanding my concept of “self” to be “my family.” So, when thinking about happiness in a specific moment, I think about it for everyone – not just what results in *my* happiness in that moment. When thinking about a good snack, I think about everyone’s (including my husband’s!) desires and health. When thinking about outdoor time, I think about what would be best for *everyone*. I can’t explain what a difference this has made! I’m a melancholic temperament, so I tend to want to arrange everything in my particular way, so this is big for me. And I’m rather sensitive to my environment, but this has really helped me level things out. I take care of myself, but I do a much better job at not shutting other people down while still taking care of myself. It has increased the harmony so much that I am trying to just keep my concept of “self” as my family. Of course, the next step is to branch out and try an expanded concept of self. I have been experimenting with that, but it is much harder. Less intuitive. Still worthwhile.

    • Dear Kellybythecreek,
      I love your work so, and more families would be better off if both partners or spouses could think like this…This is the true meaning of creating family culture and also a wonderful society.
      Blessings, and thank you for sharing.

  3. Pingback: The way we use our words | Pie Jesu

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