Monthly Archives: November 2009

Cultivating Gratitude: The Inner Work Of Advent

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There is a lot of buzz these days around the word gratitude.  Gratitude journals, counting things to be thankful for, making lists of things we are grateful for before meals, an Attitude of Gratitude,  have all been popularized.

Gratitude is an important piece of this time of year, and a work for exploring the inner soul of Advent.  As a Christian at this time of year, I have gratitude for  a Creator who  experienced  life as a mere man.  He is always accessible and ever-present within me, as He has walked this path and experienced the heart ache, the challenges, the temptation, the joy and the sadness of being human.  Such openness and intimacy in that relationship.

John F. Kennedy reportedly said this:  “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

How often do we fail to live up to that highest challenge?  How often do we complain to our girlfriends about what our husbands don’t do?  About the challenging spots our children are in developmentally?  About the never-ending chores of maintaining a home?  The never-ending planning for homeschooling and the actual hours spent in lessons, sometimes with children who seem far from appreciative?

How can we live in gratitude?  If we can model this, then our children will surely imitate what is in our hearts.  Our home will have a different tone as we do this. 

To me the key is this:  if I can radiate a positive attitude within  myself  no matter what the circumstance, then I am expressing gratitude.

A mother within Melisa Nielsen’s “Be A Beacon” program had a wonderful idea regarding stopping negativity. She said one thing to consider would be to wear a bracelet, rubber band, etc on your wrist and if you had a negative thought, just take it off and switch it to the other wrist.  No judging, just move the bracelet. The goal, of course, would be to see how many minutes, hours or days one could keep the bracelet on the original wrist.

Back to JJFK’s statement!  This week, can you show your family how much you appreciate them?  Even better if you can do this with joyous action, not only  words.  Show your spouse how much you love and respect them.   Show your children your respect and love for them.  Enjoy cleaning your home and making it nice for your family!  By taking care of the people, pets and things that we love, we are showing our gratitude that they are in our lives.

Is there someone that helps bring back the spark within you after it has been extinguished?  Your spouse, for certain, but perhaps also a close friend?  Does that person know that?  It is never to late to tell them! 

With your children, can you start to cultivate gratitude in them?  An excellent start is by modeling a positive attitude and taking care of your family and  environment in a joyful manner.  Then, can you reach out to help others in your neighborhood, within your circle of friends or within your community?  This helps to build gratitude and appreciate for what gifts we have and can use to help others.  Every day, bit by bit, year by year, we build our children’s hearts.  Let us be thankful for the opportunity!

Many blessings,

Carrie

PS – Please see Melisa Nielsen’s excellent comment below!  It is not too late to join her program if you are interested!!

The First Week Of Advent

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The day before the first Sunday in Advent, I set up two Nativity scenes: one on the Nature Table in our schoolroom, and one “adult” nativity scene in a different room. I am very lucky in that my husband’s grandmother made our Nativity scenes in her ceramic shop a long time ago.  She died right before our first child was born, and it gives me such pleasure to look at her beautiful handwork.

The Nativity Scene in the schoolroom is on a light blue silk and so far consists of Mary and Joseph on the right flanked by some very large conch shells  with a path of seashells laid out before them leading to the manger.    This Nativity Scene is actually a child’s Nativity with all chubby-faced children and fits in well with our schoolroom.  The shells are keeping in line with our first week of Advent that celebrates the mineral kingdom preparing to receive their Creator and King.

“The first light of Advent is the light of stone-

Stones that live in crystals, seashells and bone.” – attributed to Steiner

Over the week we hope to add some crystals to our Nature Table Nativity Scene.

The adult Nativity Scene is set up on a dark blue felt and is set up with everything with the exception of the infant Jesus.  Our Advent wreath is also in this area as well.  Little by little we will be decorating for Christmas.

Our plans for this week include daily readings from the Bible, making two kinds of cookies, starting a green and red construction paper chain with Bible verses on it to mark each day until Christmas,  and several Advent  crafts revolving around Saint Nicholas.  We are reading Jakob Streit’s “Saint Nicholas” each night in preparation for Saint Nicholas Day and also reading a story from “A Light In The Lantern” each night as well.

Our biggest plan for the week entails surprising our neighbors with Christmas cookies on Saint Nicholas Eve.  We are looking forward to that!

I hope you have a wonderful week as well,

Carrie

“I Am New To Waldorf: How Can I Find Out More?”

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This comes up quite a bit.  Honestly, I think the best place to start is Steiner himself and then delve into other people’s works.  Here are my suggestions: 

Introductory Works To Waldorf Education:

  • The Kingdom of Childhood  – Steiner
  • The Education of The Child  – Steiner
  • The Spirit of The Waldorf School  – Steiner
  • Soul Economy  – Steiner (Maybe more an intermediate level, but probably my favorite in many ways).
  • These books can be bought here:  http://www.waldorfbooks.com/edu/steiner_waldorf.htm

For Children Under The Age of 7:   one of the Following:

  • You Are Your Child’s First Teacher (check your library for this title) (Dancy Baldwin)
  • Heaven on Earth (Oppenheimer)
  • Beyond the Rainbow Bridge (Patterson and Bradley)

For the Big Overall Picture Of Waldorf Education – Otherwise Known As “The Kindergarten Years Are Very Short”:

  • The Waldorf Parenting Handbook (Cusick)
  • Waldorf Education:  A Family Guide (Fenner and Rivers)
  • School As A Journey (Finser)
  • The Christopherus Waldorf Curriculum Overview for Homeschoolers (Simmons)

 I hope that is helpful to some of you.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Using Main Lesson Dot Com

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Some mothers have been asking me how I personally use www.mainlesson.com

I use it to find seasonal stories to tell on  baking and gardening day, and I have also found several Saint stories on there I have used as well for my Second Grader.

Here is an example of what I used off of this site during November for my Second Grader and Kindergartener:

  • “Saint Martin” for my Second Grader on Martinmas
  • “The Story of the First Corn” on Gardening Day before Thanksgiving
  • “Saint Gerasimus and the Lion” for my Second Grader for a story during Handwork

In December, I will be using:

  • “How the Fir Tree Became the Christmas Tree” for whilst cookies are baking
  • “A Christmas Legend” as a Gardening Story
  • “Mrs. Santa Claus” on Baking Day
  • A story about Holly and Saint Nicholas on Saint Nicholas Day
  • “Silvercap, King of the Frost Fairies” on Gardening Day

Hope that helps some of you see the potential use of this site,

Carrie

Favorite Books For Gentle Discipline

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Specifically Regarding Anger:

  • “When Anger Hurts Your Kids” by Mckay, Fanning, Paleg and Landis
  • “love and anger the parental dilemma” by Nancy Samalin with Catherine Whitney

Under Age 9:

  • WALDORF:  “You Are Your Child’s First Teacher” by Rahima Baldwin Dancy
  • WALDORF:  “Beyond the Rainbow Bridge”
  • WALDORF:  “Heaven On Earth” by Sharifa Oppenheimer, although I cannot recommend the references to time-out.  Those of you who read this blog know I oppose time-out.  Many parents do love this book though!
  • WALDORF:  “You’re Not The Boss of Me!  Understanding the Six/Seven Year Transformation” available through www.waldorfbooks.org
  • WALDORF:  Donna Simmons’ Audio Downloads  on “The Changing Face Of Discipline” and also “Talking Pictorially and Living Actively with Your Young Child” – can be found here: http://www.christopherushomeschool.org/bookstore-for-waldorf-homeschooling/audio-downloads.html
  • WALDORF:  “The Challenge of The Will” by Margret Meyerkort and Rudi Lissau
  • DEVELOPMENTAL:  For understanding realistic expectations for each age, I still like The Gesell Institute books “Your One-Year-Old” “Your Two-Year-Old” etc.  They are available at many libraries and are also easily picked up used.
  • DEVELOPMENTAL/LOVING GUIDANCE:  “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler”  by Norma Bumgarner
  • ATTACHMENT PARENTING:  “Attached At The Heart”  by Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker (one chapter of discipline)
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  La Leche League’s “Adventures in Gentle Discipline” –this also has a part about time out as mentioned by parents, which I oppose.    The voices of many mothers are throughout this book, so you will have to pick through what resonates with you.  Particularly if you are also a Waldorf family, the “talk talk talk” of some of the families with their tiny children  may not resonate with you!  There is however, a good section as to what “gentle discipline” is and isn’t in the beginning of the book.  A good place to start if you are new to gentle discipline and equate it in your head with children having no boundaries (which is NOT what it is!)
  • ATTACHMENT PARENTING:  “Connection Parenting”  by Pam Leo
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline”  by Becky Bailey
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Playful Parenting” by Lawrence Cohen
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Discipline Without Distress” by Judy Arnall – you can search through this blog for chapter summaries of this book, not all strategies in this book are compatible with a Waldorf approach but overall a helpful book
  • And may I ever so humbly recommend this blog?:)

Over Age 9:

  • WALDORF:  Specific to the Nine-Year-Old Change:  Donna Simmons’s Audio Downloads on Third Grade and also “The Changing Face of Discipline for ages 9 and up”
  • WALDORF:  Specific to the Nine-Year-Old Change:  “Encountering the Self” by Hermann Koepke
  • GENERAL PARENTING:  “Hold On to Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Kids Are Worth It!” by Barbara Coloroso.  Has some good examples of how to “hold the space” in it. 
  •  GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Loving Your Child Is Not Enough:  Positive Discipline That Works” by Nancy Samalin with Martha Moraghan Jablow
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Raising Your Spirited Child” and “Kids, Parents and Power Struggles” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka  (I put these here because the strategies essentially involve emotion coaching and I feel that is better for an older child).

 

Over Age 12:

  • WALDORF:  Specific to the 12- Year -Old Change:  Hermann Koepke’s “On the Threshold of Adolescence”
  • WALDORF:  Also, several of Steiner’s works are now available for education and observation of the adolescent:   http://www.waldorfbooks.com/edu/adolescence.htm
  • WALDORF:  “Between Form and Freedom” by Betty Staley
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Kids Are Worth It!”  by Barbara Coloroso
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Kids, Parents and Power Struggles” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and “Raising Your Spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
  • GENTLE DISCIPLINE:  “Peaceful Parents, Peaceful Kids” by Naomi Drew
  • COMMUNCICATION:  “NonViolent Communication”  by Marshall Rosenberg (and to me, once your child hits 15 or so, why not attend a NVC Group together and practice?)
  • COMMUNICATION:  “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk” and “Liberated Parents, Liberated Children:  Your Guide To A Happier Family” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

 

Let me be clear, one can certainly read the gentle discipline books for the older children when one’s child is younger and gleam things from them, but some of  the approaches are best saved for when your child is older!

And finally, some gentle books for the mother:

CHRISTIAN:  “The Power of A Positive Mother” by Karol Ladd

GENERAL/BUDDHIST: “Everyday Blessings:  The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting” by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn

WALDORF/GENERAL:  “Mitten Strings for God:  Reflections For Mothers In A Hurry” by Katrina Kenison

Blessings,

Carrie

Saint Nicholas Day in The Waldorf Home

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Yes, Saint Nicholas is often celebrated in Waldorf Schools and within the Waldorf Home.  And before one worries about Saints being associated with the Waldorf curriculum, I urge you to remember that Saint Nicholas Day is widely celebrated all over Europe.

In the book “An Overview of the Waldorf Kindergarten” as edited by Joan Almon, this is written about the role of Saint Nicholas during Advent:  “(Saint Nicholas) is an archetypal figure of heavenly wisdom and is the forerunner of Santa Claus, whose very name is reminiscent of St. Nicholas. Santa Claus, however, is a more earth-bound, incarnated figure who dwells with elves in the North Pole.  Though he, too, if full of love for the children, his gifts are more of a material nature, even though he comes on Christmas Eve, a time of profound spiritual giving.  One can understand how he arose in our more materialistic, secular age, and one can hold him a positive way for the sake of the children who love him so, but one can also create a place in the Advent season to bring the original, more heavenly St. Nicholas to the children.”

I guess because I have German/Polish/Norwegian/French roots and my husband has Danish/German roots, we love Saint Nicholas Day.  Our oldest daughter goes to German School on Saturday mornings and I love to see it celebrated in the community there as well.  They leave their shoes out and whilst lessons are going on, Saint Nicholas is busy filling the shoes up with goodies. 🙂

Saint Nicholas Day is on December 6th, although I do believe my Dutch friends celebrate it on December 5th.  In Holland, Saint Nicholas comes with “Black Peter” and distributes gifts – some families use a “Sinterklass sack” (did I slaughter that, my Dutch friends??!!)  Sometimes he comes with a Golden Book of names to read the names of the good little children!

Saint Nicholas was born either Syria or Turkey in 3 A.D. and eventually became the Bishop of Myra in Asia Minor.  There are many stories about Saint Nicholas out there for telling – some involve the provision of a dowry for three daughters, some involve Saint Nicholas bringing food to the starving, some involve calming the seas.  He is the Patron Saint of prisoners (Saint Nicholas was persecuted for his faith and spent time in prison), children, sailors and is the Patron Saint of Russia.

Children typically leave out a clean shoe (we leave out wooden clogs from Germany and Holland on our hearth) along with hay and carrots for the horse of Saint Nicholas.  I believe some families also make honey cakes and leave those out as well.  Usually in return the children receive nuts, candy, chocolates and sometimes gifts as well.  Saint Nicholas Eve is the major gift-giving occasion in Holland.

This is a holiday that leads us deeper into Advent, and is one of great joy.  If you are seeking more information regarding Saint Nicholas, I suggest you try the Saint Nicholas Center here:http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=23

Here are some Saint Nicholas crafts:  http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=122   Every year we crack walnuts, hot glue the walnut shell closed and then hot glue that onto a piece of red felt that has been made into a cone shape.  On top of that we place the famous Bishop’s mitre and hang it on our tree.  Lovely!

Here is a Saint Nicholas story from Main Lesson Dot Com:

http://www.mainlesson.com/display.php?author=olcott&book=holidays&story=purses

Blessings,

Carrie

Advent EBook

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The Advent EBook from Seasons of Joy is here!  Please follow this link to Annette’s site to order:  http://naturalfamily.50megs.com/custom2_1.html

I have not seen it yet, but I am sure it will be a gift for the holidays!

The EBook  is centered around the famous verse of Steiner’s that we all know and love:

“The first light of Advent is the light of stone–.
Stones that live in crystals, seashells, and bones.
The second light of Advent is the light of plants–
Plants that reach up to the sun and in the breezes dance.
The third light of Advent is the light of beasts–
All await the birth, from the greatest and in least.
The fourth light of Advent is the light of humankind–
The light of hope that we may learn to love and understand.”

Many blessings,

Carrie

Part Two of Advent In The Waldorf Home

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In Part One of Advent In The Waldorf Home ( https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/11/23/advent-in-the-waldorf-home-part-one/)     we talked about the view of Christmastide as a holy mood.  “All Year Round” reiterates this in saying, “In the depths of winter, when the lower kingdoms of nature have withdrawn, it is possible for us to awaken to a rich experience of the world, to raise our hearts to the glory of God on high, and to celebrate that spiritual revelation which is, at the same time, a goal for all humankind – the birth of the Son of Man….With the coming of Christianity, a new force enters the world – the power of resurrection.  The Christian Festivals which stand at the four cardinal points of the year – Easter, St. John’s, Michaelmas, Christmas – each bring their own spirit of resurrection, of new life, and they bring it always a few days after the ancient nature festivals……At Christmastime we celebrate the new life of the earth’s own sun – the Light of the World- that which, through the good will of men and women, forever shines in the darkness, and will not be overcome.”

The Nature Table at this time can take on hues of snow white, pale mauves and blues, crystals of calcite, quartz and amethyst, glass vases, glass candleholders.  Paper stars and snowflakes are lovely, and a tabletop Advent Garden can be added with a way to count down the days until Christmas.  The Advent Wreath is also lovely and it can be hung from the ceiling or  placed on a table.  Christmas trees are also customary, as are Advent calendar (I prefer the chocolate-less kind for the children!)

Advent begins the new Christian calendar each year.  It begins on the Sunday closest to November 30th and ends on December 24th (Christmas Eve, also known as Adam and Eve Day).    “All Year Round” says “We move from a season of remembrance for the dead, into a time of preparation for that which is to be born.”  So Advent becomes about getting ready – crafting, baking, making things with our hands, firelight and candlelight.

One way Waldorf school typically mark this time of preparation for the new, this time of inner contemplation in the darkness, is through the Advent Spiral or Advent Garden.  Our Waldorf homeschool group does this every year, and here is a post regarding last year’s Advent Spiral: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/12/07/advent-and-other-winter-celebrations-within-the-waldorf-home/ 

Typically the floor of a large room is cleared out, and an evergreen spiral is made with a small tree stump in the middle with a large central candle on top.  Beautiful representations of the different kingdoms are set in the spiral and soft flutes or lyres are played for music.  The room is lit by candlelight.    During the music, each  child walks the spiral with an unlit candle tucked inside an apple and then takes a light from the central candle for their own previously  unlit one.  They then walk out of the spiral, placing their candle and apple on a gold star laid out on the spiral.  At the end of this ceremony, the spiral is aglow with lights and is truly lovely.  Then all quietly leave the room. 

Here are some links regarding the celebration of Advent within a Waldorf context:

http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/adventmemories.pdf

http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/GW0549.pdf

http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/GW3212.pdf

Many blessings as you prepare for Advent,

Carrie

Advent In The Waldorf Home: Part One

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Advent can be a more challenging festival for some people, depending upon one’s spiritual and religious orientation.  The book, “An Overview Of The Waldorf Kindergarten” edited by Joan Almon has this to say:

“December brings special challenges to the Waldorf Kindergarten teacher, for Christmas is a vivid part of our culture and a festival that brings deep joy to children.  However, there is a tendency to be so overt in one’s celebration of Christmas that the kindergarten comes to feel more like a Christian Sunday School than like a Waldorf kindergarten.  This brings great pain to our non-Christian families, but it is problematic even for the children of Christian background.  Within the Waldorf kindergarten the festivals are not meant to be “taught” but are offered in a light manner, much like telling a fairy tale, which allows the children great freedom to come to the festival as they will.  When offered in a spirit of gratitude and with a sense of wonder and awe, something of the essence of the festival can speak to children.”

Steiner spoke of “Christmastide” in his lecture “The Christmas Festival In The Changing Course Of Time”:

“Seeking souls have every reason to ask themselves:  “What can this “Christ festival” mean to us?”  And in their hearts they can admit:  Precisely through Spiritual Science something will be given to humanity, which will bring again, in the fullest sense of the word, that depth and greatness which cannot be any more today.  If we don’t succumb to illusion and phantasy we must admit that these can no longer exist at present.  What has become often a mere festival of gifts cannot be said to have the same meaning as what the Christmas festival meant to people for many centuries in the past.  Through the celebration of this festival the souls used to blossom forth with hope-filled joy, with hope-borne certainty, and with the awareness of belonging to a Spiritual Being, Who descended from Spiritual heights, and united Himself with the earth, so that every human soul of good may share in His powers. Indeed, for many centuries the celebration of this festival awakened in the souls of men the consciousness that the individual human soul can feel firmly supported by the spiritual power just described, and that all men of good will can find themselves gathered together in the service of this spiritual power.  Thereby they can also find together the right ways of life on earth, so that they can mean humanly as much as possible to one another, so that they can love each other as human beings on earth as much as possible.”

Steiner goes on to say in this lecture that Advent provoked a specific mood within the people”:

“The essential thing is that a mood prevailed during the Christmas season, the days and week surrounding the Christmas festival, to which the heart was given over, a mood in which the whole village would participate, and which enable people to take in with simple immediacy all the representations that were brought before their souls.”

Later in the same lecture he says:

“Now I ask you, please notice what this means:  to call upon Nature in such a way that one greets everyone whom one wishes to greet with a certain mood in one’s heart, a mood which arises from:  “the roots, large and small, which are in the earth, many and all.”

So my thought is thus: even if you do not celebrate Advent, can you work to bring some of this reverent mood to your home during this Season?  Can you be connected to the holy, the great, the spiritual?

Many mothers ask me about inner work.  I would like to offer you a series on Inner Work for Advent.  Stay tuned!

Many blessings,

Carrie

My Notebook

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I started out a long time ago with a “Control Journal” as suggested from Flylady (www.flylady.net).  This is essentially suggested to be a binder with your household routines and such in it.    I still have it, and mine is mainly  now divided into sections for phone numbers,  directories for the neighborhood, some deep cleaning routines/checkliststs and dinner menu plans I printed out from my membership at www.cookingTF.com

Then I read this book during the last trimester of my third pregnancy  (“Becoming The Woman God Wants Me To Be” by Donna Patrow):http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Woman-God-Wants-Me/dp/0800730720/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258915978&sr=8-1.  I cannot say I loved all of the advice in the book.  As a physical therapist and someone who took many, many college-level nutrition courses, I was particularly and seriously concerned about the exercise and nutrition advice offered in this book.  But, this book did instill a further inspiration for that “inner work” we are always talking about with parenting and Waldorf homeschooling.  All of us need a “nudge” to keep on track!  I pulled out two other books that were inspiring to me in the past, “The Power of A Praying Wife” by Stormie OMartian ( http://www.amazon.com/Power-Praying%C2%AE-Wife-Deluxe/dp/0736919899/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258916244&sr=1-3)  and this one, The Power of A Positive Mom” by Karol Ladd ( http://www.amazon.com/Power-Positive-Mom-Revised/dp/1416551212/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258916301&sr=1-5) .  These two books provide me much inspiration when I need it. I combined some of the things from those books along with the idea of making a binder as mentioned in “Becoming the Woman God Wants Me To Be” and made a sort of household notebook with sections that also fulfill my penchant for being a prayer warrior and my inner work.

So, when you open up my binder, the first thing you see is my Personal Vision Statement and our Family Mission Statement.  The entire first section is “Power Tools” of inspiring quotes, Affirmations, a page of Scripture Memory Verses, prayer lists for people outside our immediate family and prayer lists for the immediate family.

The other sections are:

Personal:    Our weekly rhythm, Cleaning Routines/Checklists, Evening Routines, to-do list

My Husband (I have personalized daily prayers there for my husband based upon some of the areas mentioned in “The Power of A Praying Wife”)

My Children (separate prayer lists for each of the three children)

Household (seasonal deep cleaning checklists, menu for the week, recipes for the week)

Projects (typically this includes lectures of Steiner’s I have printed out and am in the midst of reading)

A Section for Melisa Nielsen’s “Be A Beacon” Program

I use this binder two to three times a day or more as I pray for people and take some moments in the midst of our busy day to connect to my Creator.

Inner work is so important; if you make this a priority you will reap many benefits in your parenting, your homeschooling and your life!

Blessings,

Carrie