Monthly Archives: April 2009

Inspirational Words from Steiner’s “The Education of the Child” Regarding Teaching of the 7-14 Year Old

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Steiner’s Thoughts on the Education of the Child Aged 7-14

From Education of the Child, 1996 print edition:

“Then, from the change of teeth on, the etheric body that is now developing must bring to the physical body the forces whereby it can make its forms firm and inwardly complete. Whatever makes the strongest impression on the etheric body also works powerfully toward consolidating the physical body. The strongest of all the impulses that can work on the etheric body come from the feelings and thoughts through which the human beings consciously divine and experience their relationship to the Eternal Powers- That is, they come from religious experience. Never will a person’s will – nor as a result a person’s character – develop in a healthy way, if one cannot during this period of childhood receive religious impulses deep into the soul. How people feel their place and part in the universal whole will be expressed in the unity of their life of will. If they do not feel linked with strong bonds to a divine-spiritual, their will and character must remain uncertain, divided, and unsound.”

Again, on page 60 in my edition: ”Most important of all is religious instruction. Images of things supersensible are deeply imprinted in the ether body. The pupil’s ability to have an opinion about religious faith is not important, but receiving descriptions of the supersensible, of what extends beyond the temporal. All religious subjects must be presented pictorially.”

Steiner goes on to talk about the development of FEELING during this period (as opposed to the WILLING of the Kindergarten/Early Years) –

-developed through pictures and parables

-through the pictures and stories of great men and women, taken from history and other sources

-a correspondingly deep study of the secrets and beauties of nature is also important for the proper formation of the world of feeling

-the cultivation of the sense of beauty and the awakening of the artistic feeling

-the musical element “must bring to the etheric body the rhythm that will then enable it to sense in everything the rhythm otherwise concealed. Children who are denied the blessing of having their musical sense cultivated during these years will be the poorer because of it for rest of their lives.”

– the moral sense of children is being formed by the pictures of life placed before them, through the authorities they naturally look up to

-“Thought in its proper form, as an inner life lived in abstract concepts, must still remain in the background during this period of childhood. It must develop itself, as it were, without external influences, while life and the secrets of nature are being unfolded in parable and picture.” Steiner attributes the ability to form independent opinions after puberty to how abstract concepts are handled during the period of ages 7-14. He felt by awakening independent judgment too early, we will damage the problem-solving ability, the ability of independent thought in the adolescent. This is why the years of the second seven-year period are focused more on examples, analogies, rather than just conclusions. Conclusions in Waldorf teaching do not come in until after age 14 for various reasons.

“If we force children into critical thinking before the age of fourteen, it is particularly disadvantageous for them and forces them to create their own conclusions or lose the well-intended power of the surrounding persons of authority. It is very bad if the child cannot look up to anyone.”

-the two things connected with the development of the etheric body are habit and memory. “For this reason you should try to give children a firm foundation for life anchored in good habits. People who act differently every day, who lack a stable basis for their deeds, will later lack character……Children need to learn upright habits and to have a rich store of memorized knowledge.”

-We form a strong memory during this second seven year year period by instructing children and NOT by teaching through example as in the Kindergarten years. “We form a strong memory, not by explaining all the “whys” and “wherefores”, but through authority.” Steiner said.

-We must surround children with people they can trust – people who can awaken in children a belief in the authority they hold.

-“Great care must be taken that teaching is brought to life. Much is spoiled in the child if it is burdened with too much that is dull and lifeless. Whatever is taught in a lively interesting manner benefits the child’s ether body. There should be much activity and doing, which has a quickening effect on the spirit.”

–The main emphasis of this second seven year period is on authority and community. It is also the time to foster the sense for beauty.

-We must harmonize interests with talents.

Most of all, remember that “Suppose we raise a child by emphasizing only the capacity for abstract thinking, as is so often done in school. Those pure concepts and abstract ideas cannot affect the child’s feeling life. The feeling life remains undeveloped and unformed, and this shows itself later in all kinds of ordinary experiences.” (page 109) In my opinion, this is much of the problem with the educational system of the United States today.

Steiner’s words, written in “The Foundation of Human Experience”:

Enliven imagination,

Stand for truth,

Feel responsibility

Keep imagination alive in your teaching,

Carrie

“My Kids Deserve A Different Mother”

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Have you ever felt this way, that your children deserved either a better you or even a different mother?  A mother that could do a better job?  A mother that could be more patient, more kind, more loving,  more creative?

You are not alone if you have ever felt that way.  We ALL have bad days, we all have days where we feel as if parenting is challenging everything we have in us and we are failing and that we are not living up to the standards we are setting for ourselves.  I have only heard of one or two parents out of ALL the parents I ever spoken with NOT say something along these lines.

It can be difficult.  Sometimes we feel terrible when we are losing it and an older child is witness or we have a baby on our arm.  We would feel terrible enough just to cry or yell or fall apart by ourselves, let alone with witnesses!

Some of us are dealing with more chronic things than just the occasional fall-apart in front of our kids.  Some of us are dealing with death, divorce, spousal difficulties, depression, parenting alone or other things going on. 

The question is, what do we do?

We can try.  We set the tone in our home whether we set it unconsciously or consciously. Each day, each moment, we can try to set the tone in our home toward our ideal.  It is never too late to change, to try, to stop in the middle of a sentence and do something different.  It is never to late to take your child and love them. 

We can forgive ourselves for not being perfect.  We are not perfect, we are human.  We all fall short at times.  We can be kind to ourselves and show our children how to have grace when we make a mistake. 

We can get help. We can ask for help from our family, our friends, our neighbors. We can get counseling, we can talk to the spiritual leaders who speak to our hearts, we can get support.  We can investigate if our physical health is impacting our minds, our patience.  Many medical professionals are available to help. 

We can take it easy.  Maybe this is the day we need to take off from school and go hiking.  Maybe this is the day we just need to go garden outside for most of the day. Maybe this is the day we just need to relax and recharge.

We can focus on bedtime and catch some precious moments to ourselves after the children go to sleep and use that to meditate, pray or engage in spiritual work.

We can do our best to go to sleep; I am convinced many of the challenges mothers are facing could be helped if mothers would go to bed and get some rest.  We so often feel we have to satisfy everyone’s needs but our own; our own sleep is paramount to do this!

Your children do not need a different mother, they need you.  They need a rested you, a calm you, but also a you that shows them how to recover from a mistake, a you that shows them we can still do things wrong and make it right, a you that is resilient in the face of life.

You can do this, your children picked you to be their mother and they picked your family to be a part of and participate and grow in.  Find the love and joy and laughter, it is there.

Peace,

Carrie

“But When I Stay Home…..Everything Falls Apart!”

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I have heard lots of reasons why it is difficult to stay home from mothers with children under the age of 7.  “When we stay home, all my older kids do is fight.”  “My kids are bored and don’t know what to do.”  “The nursling whom I am trying to wean just wants to nurse and if we are out he doesn’t nurse at all!”  “My oldest just seems to need to do something more!”  “I will go nuts if I stay home every day!”

As you can see, many mothers have a hard time being in their own homes.  Some mothers insist their children have a hard time being home as well, but I often wonder if the children are just reflecting the discontent their mothers feel.

It is hard work to be home sometimes.  It is hard to not be on the computer, to not turn on the TV, to be present in working with our hands and to be a warm presence for our children.  It is hard to listen to children fight and know when to step in and when to not step in.  It is hard to distract an older nursling and set a gentle, loving limit that right now is not a nursing time, but in a little bit it will be time and here is a snack for right now.  It is hard to set limits in general, it is hard to get out of bed, it is hard to make dinner every day and it is hard to muster up the energy to get everyone ready for bed after a long day.

Did I cover it all?

The challenges, however, do not negate the fact that the best place for a child under the age of 7 to be is HOME.  If we can help a child under the age of 7 be happy in the home environment, to be creative at home, to learn to understand that feeling of not knowing what to do and then finding something to do, we provide that child a great service indeed.  These are the children that grow up with strong creativity, strong problem-solving skills, and the ability to be happy by themselves.  These are remarkable and sought-after skills in this age of teenage depression and boredom. 

Your child under the age of 7 does not need a myriad of play dates, field trips,  and trips to the store.   You may disagree, but if your oldest is right now 4 , you will see a large difference in patience, comprehension, understanding and memory when you go to places when they are 7 or 8.  Many times your 7 or 8  year old will not even remember your trip to the zoo when they were 4!  They may, but they may not.  It doesn’t mean we don’t ever go places as  family, but it does mean we look carefully at IMAX movies at the museum for a four year old, at going to a crowded zoo on the weekend when they child is usually home napping, and we look at the long car rides and other things that are involved in these activities for the young child.  Remember, what your  child really  needs is a strong home rhythm, a strong loving presence of a parent, enough sleep and healthy food and outside time, and walks around the neighborhood.

Mothers say:  What about socialization for my 3-6 year old?  Everyone knows this is a prime time when they need friends! 

That may be true, and some children are more social than others, but sometimes I feel WE as parents drive this need ourselves more than it initially comes from the children themselves. (and then the children hear US talk about how they need friends and then they really NEED friends, you know?)  If you read any traditional childhood development books, they talk about how three, four and six are often rough ages for getting along with other children.  This does not mean that we don’t ever have play dates – but it might mean we consider a play date that is one on one with a planned activity to start the play date as opposed to a “just go play” kind of thing.  It does mean that perhaps we look at our group activities more closely and evaluate are they really needed and who needs them – us as the parents or our children?  It may also mean that we need to consider our OWN needs as adults and parents – could I get together with another homeschooling mother WITHOUT our children for lunch or tea and talk and finish sentences and get support that way without involving my children in my own need?

Having children under the age of 7  may also mean evaluating the need for classes.  There has been entire build-up of business and marketing to the under 7 child and parent dyad in our country.  In past generations, many mothers did not even have transportation to attend anything while their husbands were at work, so there was no chance for activities geared solely toward children.    I am not saying we want to return to this, but I am saying we do not know the long-reaching effects of all this stimulation on the under-7 child.  Were these classes and activities truly started with the benefit of the under 7 child in mind or to make money?  Would going outside and being in nature and doing arts and crafts at home and singing at home be just as good, if not better, than all these classes?

I feel many mothers turn to these activities to 1- meet other mothers who also stay at home, since in their neighborhood they may be the ONLY ones at home and 2- they do not feel confident in their own abilities to do these sorts of activities at home with their small children.  It is ironic in an age of more and more information, ideas via the Internet and books that mothers feel LESS confident and not more confident, isn’t it?

As far as finding other mothers who stay at home and who are interested in homeschooling, La Leche League meetings, especially the daytime meetings do often have mothers who are stay at home mothers (especially if these are Toddler Meetings held during the day).  Attachment Parenting International Support meetings also tend to have stay at home mothers there.  These organizations also support working mothers as well, but there tend to be stay at home mothers as well.  Post natal yoga classes may put you in touch with other stay at home mothers.  Once you have a few friends that stay at home it may blossom from there.

I am here to encourage you completely that you can do this!  You can create a stronger rhythm at home.  Start with your daily rhythm with a lot of outside activity and then look at your weekly rhythm – can you bring in activities on certain days?  Look at the festivals for that month – May is coming and bringing with it May Day, Ascension and Whitsunday.  Perhaps these are festivals you would like to celebrate in your own family that you could take time to prepare for.  Depending upon your religion, perhaps there are other festivals you could celebrate in place of these festivals or add to these.  Start a bit of planning now – ten minutes a day after your kids go to bed or before your kids get up.  It can happen!

The more you are at home, the more you will like being at home.  You will have time to create and dream and so will your children.  Take it from a Former Queen of Going and Doing, it can happen!

Make your home a warm, joyful place to be and your kids will enjoy it too,

Carrie

Stop Talking!

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Yes, I have written about this subject here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/12/31/the-need-to-know/

and yes, also here, in an extremely popular post:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/01/take-my-three-day-challenge/

but here I am again today, to remind those of you with children under 7, and even those of you with seven and eight-year olds, to check yourself today.   How many words are you using with your children?  How much explaining are you doing?  Are you using a simple phrase or does your child need a notebook to write down everything you are saying about a given subject?  What is going on with your rhythm now that we are over the holidays?

If you are talking too much, try focusing on talking less this week.  Are you humming, are you holding the space just by your warm physical presence and your rhythm, are you singing and using verses for transitions, is life slow enough that you don’t need to rush, hurry and yell?

Less talking does not mean being less warm with your child; on the contrary, it gives you the freedom from words that your child may be perceiving in a negative tone (those of you with melancholic or sensitive children know exactly what I am talking about!)  And, for those of you who have children where “nothing works until I yell”, less talking forces you to include the physical piece – using your gentle hands to guide your child to the next thing, using your gentle arms to hold your child and listen. 

Less talking puts your child in the place of being listened to but not being judged.  It puts your child in the position to not have to think about what a better choice would be for them to make in their behavior, but to have you be the parent and gently show them the better choice. They should not have to think about what the better choice is in behavior, or food, or anything else at an age  under 7 – this is for later, where we let our children own their mistakes in preparation for being out on their own and when their logical thought is coming into play.  That time is not now!

Keep working on it.  In our society, which is so very head-oriented for small people, it can be  difficult to change and do differently.  But you are doing your child a true favor if you  treat them in accordance with their developmental maturity in mind instead of forging ahead, putting the cart before the horse.  Stop treating your 6 child year old like a ten-year old and your four-year old like a fourteen-year-old.  Ask yourself:  does my child need all this information now? Can this wait until my child is a bit older?  What is the simplest way I can say this?  What is the most neutral way I can say this?  Will what I say now come out of my child’s mouth later in a judgmental way at myself or someone else?  What is my tone?

Try talking less, use your warmth and your rhythm to really set those boundaries.  Nursing takes place at these times for those older 3 and 4 year olds.  We go outside every day at this time.  Warm smiles, warm hugs, laughter and joy.  Gentle hands and real work.  These are the hallmarks of things, not so many words the child is lost after the first two sentences (and if your child is NOT lost after the first paragraph you say, this is a sure sign your  under-7 child is being older than their developmental stage!  And you can change this if you choose!)

The very verbal, in-their-heads little girls especially need this.  Sometimes we expect an awful lot out of our five, six and seven year old little girls, particularly if they are the oldest in the family.  Sometimes we are just shocked when they actually act their developmental age and want to be held, they feel jealous of a sibling, they don’t want to go somewhere or do something for someone else, they don’t feel like playing with a younger sibling while we do something else or they play roughly.  Normal stages, but somehow we expect more out of them.  Less talking can take a great burden off of these small souls to just let them be.  Let them be just five, six or seven instead of seeing how “mature” they are.  They have time to be mature!  Right now they are little!

Try talking less; you may really enjoy it!

I would love to hear your comments,

Carrie

More Great Read-Alouds for Waldorf First Grade

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I wrote a post about good read-alouds for first grade here a bit ago: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/11/great-read-alouds-for-waldorf-at-home-first-grade/

Today, we are going to add these titles to that list:

The Cat’s Vacation by Irene Schoch for 6-8 year olds

Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace for 6-7 year olds – Please pre-read as you usually do; as I remember Tacy comes from a large family and the newest baby in their family either dies at childbirth or right after childbirth.  It is addressed in a very sensitive way in a chapter, but it may be too much for some of the children.

Freddie the Pig Series – Walter R Brooks

Mrs. Pepperpot by Alf Proyson

One Hundred and One African –American Read-Aloud Stories by Susan Kantor

The Curious George Series for ages 5-8 by H.A. Rey – yes, either you love it or hate it!

Honk the Moose by Phil Strong for ages 7 and up

Jamie O’Rourke and the Big Potato by Tomie dePaola for ages 6 and up

The Wind Boy by Ethel Cook Eliot

Owl Moon by Jane Yolen – a picture book, but just lovely to re-visit every year in the Winter

A Ride on the Red Mare’s Back by Ursula LeGuin

Paddington Bear Series – Michael Bond

If any one has others to suggest, please leave your thoughts in the comment box.  Please remember to pre-read and decide if these titles are right for you and your family. 

Also, the main goal of stories at this age is still to provide more of an archetypal element and not so much of  a ready to identify protagonist.  Fairy tales should still be the bulk of your stories this year in Main Lesson, and also outside of Main Lesson time.  Also, do not neglect your oral storytelling by telling  stories about animals around your home, what happened when your child was little, what happened when you were little.

Happy Reading,

Carrie

The Seven and Eight- Year -Old: Still A Need for Protection

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The pink bubble of the Waldorf kindergarten does not last forever, that is true.  However, this does not mean that the world is so quickly expanded for the seven and eight-year old that suddenly they become miniature teenagers.   This is not what a seven or eight-year old needs, although this is the tact our society often takes.  I was pleasantly surprised to speak with a friend the other day whose second-grade daughter is doing no extracurricular activities outside of attending public school.  This, however, is the only person I have talked with where this is happening.  Around my part of town, for example, many of the first and second graders I see are on the go from early morning – up at 6 AM to catch a bus and go to school, to attending school all day, to aftercare or sports (do you all honestly remember playing competitive sports in first and second grade?  Do you?  I don’t), out to dinner with parents (at least they are all eating dinner together!), off for homework and off to bed around 9 – to start all over the next day.

I respectfully must say that this is far too much for a seven or eight-year-old.  I think there is a direct relationship between the rates of ADHD/ADD, ritalin use, behavioral problems and the fact that we are asking these small children to “put in a full day”, just like a grown-up.

I think as Waldorf homeschoolers, we have a unique opportunity to treat our seven and eight –year -olds the way they should be treated – with imagination, with creativity, with watching their skills and development unfold, providing plenty of opportunities for sensory experiences and outside play, for provoking academic work through art and music.

We also have a chance to establish strong routines and rhythms in our homes with periods of in-breath and out-breath.  We can establish a bedtime routine of 7:30 for a first grader, and 7:45 for a second grader or earlier, as suggested by this Waldorf school:  http://www.stpaulssteinerschool.org/home_rhythms.html

We have an opportunity to provide healthy food, regular snack and meal times in an unhurried setting (which is often not the case in public school where lunch may start at 10:30 AM with 20 minutes to eat).

We have the chance to bring spirituality into our curriculum and homes.  We can foster gratitude, beauty, respect, reverence and responsibility in our children through stories, example and modeling as opposed to just slogans fostered in character development campaigns.

Most of all, we still can have the influence to slow them down.  The Gesell Institute mentions in the book, “Your Seven-Year-Old” that one of the main hallmarks of a seven-year-old is the fact that the child wants to do everything, but is prone to fatigue.  In our society we often take what our seven or eight year old “wants to do” and run with that  to the point these children are so involved they are worn out, irritable and exhausted.  Their small lives, instead of being full of imagination and wonder, are full of factoids for tests, long days and to-do lists that only adults should have.

The seven and eight-year olds in our society are vulnerable. Let’s protect them a bit longer, until the true skill of reasoning and logical thinking starts to be born, until the true signs of needing separation from the adults in their lives happens.  Let’s protect them now so they can flourish later.

Thanks,

Carrie

More Inspirations from Tapestries: How to Transform Yourself during the Ages of 35-42

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If we look at the the basis of transformation that occurs during this stage as a product and force of willing, feeling and thinking, Betty Staley writes:

“In our willing we are learning to “walk” in a new way- in other words becoming more aware of what we do, of how to direct our actions so that they pass through our hearts and minds in the service of a higher goal.”

“In our feelings we nurture a quality of devotion so that our hearts become activated to serve what is highest.”  Betty Staley points out this devotion is not only our immediate family, but also may extend to our community and especially to nature.

“In our thinking we have to work to overcome the prejudices which have slotted other people  into convenient categories; we have to stop giving simple reflex answers, or adhering to common opinions and “party lines.”

She also adds on page 160 that, “During this period, as I mentioned, we begin to realize that our physical body no longer has the agility and strength it had before.  So there is a temptation to concentrate only on the physical body, to try to revive some of the old vitality, forgetting that what is really needed is to activate the soul and the spirit. Of course, we need to pay attention to  our health, diet and exercise; but ignoring our inner development is like building a strong shell around an empty space……When we gain the humility to realize we want to work together with spiritual forces or beings greater than ourselves –however we choose to express this –then we can recognize our capacity for contributing to the world.”  This becomes even more pronounced in the new seven year cycle of years 42-49.

Deep food for thought on a cold night,

Carrie

More Inspirations from Tapestries: Ages 42-49

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“In our forties we enter a very dramatic stage of life.  Many changes go on which call upon us to wake up and re-evaluate our lives.  This time is often characterized by continuing crisis and change, and by a sense of rebirth.”

–Tapestries, page 175

Betty Staley remarks upon other changes and characteristics of this seven-year cycle:

  • We are more patient with others because we realize we are just starting to understand ourselves.
  • We are more relaxed and warm in our relationships.
  • We have confidence; we are asked for our opinions regarding matters of life.
  • Our personality becomes more individualized
  • The temptation of this phase is POWER.  “We can be tempted to control other people’s lives and to influence situations through the very force of our personalities.”  We have to learn to hold back our energy at times.  Developing patience during this seven year cycle is very important.  Truthfulness becomes very important.
  • This is usually a time of spiritual awakening and connection to the spiritual.  Betty Staley writes, “Many people try to avoid dealing with spiritual questions, but it makes a big difference at this age whether we are asleep or awake to such things, for they are the source of our transformation.” (page 177).  This general question is so important in Waldorf education as we homeschool; we often hear the same concerns regarding the spirituality in the Waldorf curriculum from both the “religious right” kind of parent and the pagan parent.  This is something that MUST be addressed by you, internally and through your inner work and meditation, in order to access the full healing potential of this educational method!
  • This is a stage to find balance in as we attend to elderly parents and children.  This can also be a stage to balance our decreasing physical bodies with other areas.
  • Betty Staley warns that if you do not properly face the changes that belong to this seven year cycle, you can expect an ever bigger crisis in the fifties.
  • Friendship is one of the great comforts and joy in this cycle.  There also comes a new need for more privacy in both spousal relationships and friendships because there is a need to be alone and a need for companionship.  Balance comes into play again.
  • “Our late forties and early fifties is a time for discovering the parts of our personality that did not fit in with our previous image of ourselves.”  (page 179).  For example, a man may suddenly become interested in the home.

Special to Men:  Male vulnerability in this phase can make older men appealing to young women.  If the man is married, a wife may find it difficult to deal with this softening and mellowing of the spouse’s personality.

Special to Couples:  Couples can develop a new loyalty to one another, a new strengthening of love,  if both parties can be patient not only with themselves but with the other person.  If this does not happen and the couple does not transform their relationship, divorce is very common throughout the decades of the thirties, forties and fifties. 

Betty Staley writes about marriage in this period, “  It is during this period that a couple can begin to see marriage as an art form, as the most challenging and complex  of all relationships we create.  We begin to see that marriage is of our own making, and we must take responsibility for  it as a labour of love.  This is the most critical turning-point in marriage.  If it is not consciously grasped, even a good marriage may reach a natural end.”

I have said it before in this blog, and I know I sound like a broken record, but will say it again:  It is worth your time and your energy to nurture your relationship with your spouse. It is very important.  Homeschooling your children should not be a substitute for an intimate relationship with the most important person in your life – your partner or spouse.  Learn how to make love the verb that it truly is, practice patience with your partner or spouse as you also look objectively at your own personality traits.  A mature long-term relationship is scarred, is tender, is happy, is sad, carries the burdens and the joys, is open.    Do not miss it. 

Peacefully yours,

Carrie

The Mini-Rant: Discussing Food with Children Under the Age of 7

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Okay, here goes the inflammatory rant of the day:  Stop talking to your children under the age of 7 about food!  Yes, we all want our children to eat healthy food, and to understand food choices as they grow and mature.  But here is the rub:  YOU are the one buying the food, you are most likely the one deciding the meals and what part of the meal prep your child is participating in, and the food is YOUR responsibility.

Here is what set off my rant here:  Many Waldorf homeschoolers seem to be either vehement raw foodists or really into Nourishing Traditions and I personally am tired of hearing about the health benefits of either dietary choice coming from the mouths of their children.  Does a six year old honestly need to know at this point the difference between raw and pasteurized milk?  Does a five year old need to know about food combining?  Yes, I think as they grow, children need to know these things and have more responsibility for food choices – but do they really need to know all this now?

I think it is Barbara Patterson who wrote in “Beyond the Rainbow Bridge” the story about being a Waldorf Kindergarten teacher and how one child sits down to lunch and says, “My mothers says milk makes me big and strong with health bones!” and another child sits down to lunch and says, “Well, MY mom says milk makes people stuffy and congested!” and then both children turn to the teacher and say, “Well, which one of our families is right?”  The teacher wisely says, “Well, they are both right.” (and thank goodness both children are satisfied with this in this story!).

So what can you say about food?  How about the very simple, “This is what we eat in our house.” I have one friend who said her under 7 child is walking around all day asking, “Is this healthy for me to eat?  Is this healthy for me to eat?”  despite the fact they really are trying to downplay the whole food issue/choice end of it.   I told her I think I would just shut it down by saying, “Anything in our house is fine for you to eat.” 

Please stop talking to children about making “better” food choices, this so throws them into their heads – YOU are making the choices, or giving them the alternatives of two choices that are acceptable to you.  And there is nothing worse than a five-year old telling seventy-year-old  Uncle Joe that what he is eating is bad for him and what he could be eating that is better!  What I think is appropriate here is just to say, “Uncle Joe eats “X” and you may have this.”  No guilt trip about what Uncle Joe is eating, and no increased explaining to your child about food choices.  Believe it or not, your child will pick up your food values by what you serve, how you prepare it, what alternatives you do offer to foods you don’t want your child to eat.  Don’t be all defensive about someone else’s food choices in an effort to justify your own – be happy with your food choices and model them happily!  That will be so much more effective to an under-7 child than all the verbage in the world about better choices, healthy choices, red light and green light foods, organic versus not organic, fresh-squeezed versus not, grass fed meat versus not!   Please!!

I just returned from a little island where nearly all the food people eat is imported.  There was very little organic anything.   Prices were very high, and if  the boat only came in with a certain amount of something, they may have sold out quickly and then you may  not be able to get what you were looking for for another two months until another boat came in.  It really made me think that here in the mainland of America, the land of good and plenty, how truly spoiled we are.  Most people around the world eat what they can get and have a good time anyway! (Okay, granted they don’t eat to excess the way Americans do, but still YOU are the model in your home!)  Around the world, the meal is not just about what is good for their bodies and what tastes good, but about warmth of family and extended family and friends, about lingering and laughing and enjoying children.  I would love to see some of us turn our obsession toward that instead of some of the other things we tell our children about food.

If your child has massive food allergies, then probably food discussion will have to entail that earlier than age 7 for safety reasons.  My oldest knows what her food allergies are, and she knew from a pretty young age, and we checked things out together.  That may be a necessity with deadly food allergies.  But, I didn’t tell her dairy, soy, peanuts or tree nuts were horrible for all of mankind either!  “Those things make you not feel well, but you can eat this.” was essentially what I said. 

As children grow, of course we can talk more about food choices, better food choices, the merits of our chosen diet…..but let’s not let food become a polarizing issue between our children!  When we talk about diet, let’s also talk about what different cultures eat, what people eat around the world.  Let’s talk about how in many places generations of  family sit down to eat and laugh and talk.

I have one dear friend who has lived in the United States, France, Saudi Arabia, China, Japan and visited a myriad of places around the world.  You can bet he didn’t always get organic food, you can bet typical breakfast foods were different in each culture…..but, he always exercised, he didn’t typically overeat, and he always had lots of friends and family to share meals.  He probably will live forever!

Let’s use food to bring us all together, not drive us all apart.

Okay, now you all can throw tomatoes at my head……….:)

Carrie

“Drawing With Your Four to Eleven Year Old”

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This is a book written by Donna Simmons, and people ask me about it all the time.  I think so many parents are intimidated by the drawing part of the Waldorf curriculum, so I thought I would run through what this book has to offer. 

The introduction talks about how this book is a “short introduction to drawing with your child [that] is a very simple and basic glimpse at how parents might take methods used in Waldorf schools and work with them at home.”  What I appreciate here is her acknowledgement that home with Waldorf is different than Waldorf school, and understanding of the intimidation that many parents feel with drawing and the fact that the grades material is taught through artistic approaches.

The next section talks about “Materials” and outlines the specifics of block and stick crayons, pencils, other materials, paper and what suppliers to consider getting supplies from.    She then addresses the question most parents ask which is why do all the children’s pictures look the same in the beginning?  Why do all the children draw the same picture?  She writes that, “An important foundation to Waldorf education is the deeply held belief that it is imperative to work with the child at his appropriate stage of learning.  Young children, up to 6 or 7, learn best by imitation and so when the children paint or draw they do what their teacher does.”  There is further guidance about the use of Main Lesson Books and the drawing that may accompany main lessons in the grades. She also provides notes on outlining and painting and then moves into talking about drawing with each grade.

Kindergarten – there is a small amount of information that probably will not be satisfying to the mother new to Waldorf whose oldest child is of Kindergarten age (because there should be more, right??) :),  but will be perfectly satisfying to mothers who have been through the Kindy phase and realize how drawing is a small part of the daily rhythm at home usually at this point.  LOL.  My main advice to the mother of a Kindergartner is to simply slow down.  The artistic things can be important in the Waldorf Kindergarten at home, but remember, the main focus should be on rhythm, fostering of gratitude, getting your child into their body and protecting those 12 senses, along with the development of YOUR skills in different areas of the curriculum.    Please do see some of the Waldorf Kindergarten posts on this blog for ideas!

First Grade – Donna talks about making borders for the Main Lesson Book, drawing of figures and also an introduction to form drawing. 

Second Grade – Donna talks about the transition to making drawings of more detail and provides examples of Main Lesson Book pages to draw from.

Third Grade – She talks about how to work with drawing in conjunction with some of the Third Grade blocks of building, Old Testament, and provides examples of how to draw animals and the habitats the animals live in. 

Fourth Grade – Donna talks about drawing maps, the use of proportions and blocking out pictures. 

Fifth Grade – Drawing becomes more realistic and challenging in the Fifth Grade Waldorf curriculum.  She talks about free-hand geometric drawings and the role of drawing in the ancient blocks, and of course the drawing that is prevalent in the botany blocks.

She then has notes about “Looking Ahead”.  Sixth Grade is about perspective drawing, and mastering charcoal pencils. She provides several pages of resources regarding Basic Waldorf Education, Form Drawing and Painting, and Drawing.

In short, this little book is about 36 pages long and provides a fine overview of the progression of drawing in the curriculum with color examples and some detailed techniques.  I am personally glad to have this book on my shelf because it is a fast resource I can turn to the know what kinds of drawings I can expect with each grade and quick examples of how this might look for each grade.  Another book I can also recommend is “Drawing with Block Crayons”, which is more intensive in techniques but also requires you to really sit down with the book and work with it – you cannot just leaf through that book and absorb it, LOL. 

I think this book is worth checking out, as is “Drawing with Block Crayons”; however be forewarned you will need other resources for Form Drawing.

Hope that helps,

Carrie