Tag Archives: parenting

Joy in the Home

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“We must make the mother happy, as the child thrives on joy!” – Michaela Glockler

In this time where I see parents more and more searching for right answers, (convinced there is a “right answer” in matters of parenting), increasingly time- pressed and pressured from the economic side of life, with perhaps less differentiation between children and adults, there often can be little joy in parenting.

The smallest interactions with your child have the potential to be joyful, if one slows down long enough to experience this. All children, but small children especially, need the gift of time. Some have labeled this “slow parenting”, but this wisdom used to not need such a label. This does not mean they are shut off in their rooms for long periods alone and with technology but instead of infusing into the life of the family through a continued call to come and be held by the warmth and joy in the house.

Early years children need just the smallest flexible rhythm around diapering/bathroom; eating; playing and working; rest and sleeping with warmth infused in a happy and stable rhythm. Middle years children need heartfelt guidance of what to do with emotions, how to participate in an expanded community life and with expanded rhythms and responsibilities. The adolescent needs to begin the work of discerning right judgment, right initiative, right independent thinking – among other things. Four years in high school goes by rather quickly.

The backdrop to the developmental tasks in hand of the parent is that of joy. How can you bring more joy into your homes and into your attitudes in parenting? How you nurturing your own path? This is important not only for tiny children who notice so many small details in their world, but even for the teenagers who will notice the home cooked meal, the flowers on the table, the smile when they enter the door and more. We can hold this space throughout the stages of development.

Our third child is now fourteen and entering ninth grade, the first year of high school in the States. We are embarking on this journey for the last time and I am thinking and meditating in regards to how to help guide him in the best possible way toward his future. At this point, we also have coaches, mentors, other parents of his friends, to also assist us and to love him. This is invaluable. Your community is so important and helpful in this time.

How are you planning your new parenting and homeschooling year to bring joy?

Love to all,

Carrie

Read Along With Me – “How the Future Can Save Us”

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We are on page 20 of this wonderful book by Stephen Sagarin, who is a faculty chair, cofounder and teacher at the Berkshire Waldorf High School in western Massachusetts. It is so fun to read his musings on Waldorf Education, and I hope you are enjoying reading along!

We are in Section 7 of the “Method” section and the author talks about how so often we begin Waldorf Main Lesson with this idea of dancing, singing, eurythmy and bean bags. Rudolf Steiner himself said in Soul Economy (by the way, one of my most favorite set of educational lectures compiled and often overlooked by people) that “while a person is engaged in limb activities that simulate the metabolism, thoughts that were artificially planted in the head during the previous years are no longer there. When children jump and run around and are active in the limbs and the metabolism, all thoughts previously planted in the head simply fly away.”

Many homeschoolers have complained for years that they would take the family for a walk prior to school, and then by the time they come back, everyone uses the bathroom and has a snack, half of the morning is gone! Sometimes we have limited time and we really just need to get to work in the grades.

Section 8 discusses taking notes. Those in my generation often wrote down nearly word for word what our teachers were saying, especially in high school and college. We were fast writers! LOL. Sagarin says perhaps this isn’t the best tactic, and he often teaches without having the students take notes and then the next day he comes in and writes a very concise summary on the board that students can copy without having to listen. Think about how you want to approach this in your homeschooling, especially as you move up in the grades. Section 9 is about the value of doodling.

What do you think of this book so far? Here in the States, the school year is fast approaching, and I hope this book gives you some thoughts for your new homeschooling year.

Blessings,
Carrie

Read Along With Me: “How The Future Can Save Us” – Growth

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The section of this book entitled “Growth” has three different sections to look at. The first section is entitled “Protection and Leadership” and begins with a poem from “Leaves of Grass” about how a child went forth and became the first object he looked upon….leaving author Stephen Sagarin to write that our children are being pressured to grow up too quickly. They become consumers from an early age and are being asked by advertisers to grow up faster, to buy products, and that without these products they should not be confident.

He writes, “….teens are in that in-between place, that nowhere land in which they have enough freedom, power, maturity, mobility, and intelligence to make choices, but not the developed judgment to always make wise or rational decisions.”

Side Note : I was talking to a high school sophomore and just newly graduated high schooler today and I was telling them that France passed a ban that bans smartphones and tablets for kids between 3 and 15 years of age (I believe just at school). They said they wished that was the case here. “It would have to be a law though,” they both said, “Because if some people have it (phones) and some don’t, that’s when there are problems. But it’s not good for your brain.” Even teenagers know that it isn’t great for them to consume, but they feel pressure to keep up with what other teens are watching. This conversation was interesting timing, considering reading this essay!

The author goes on to point out that America’s image around the world is essentially adolescence and youth, and perhaps this points the way toward our jobs (as teachers, as parents) should be to protect children from growing up too quickly. He points out that Rudolf Steiner spoke about this in “Balance in Teaching,” mentioning protection, enthusiasm, reverence as ways to provide good teaching for children.

But protection doesn’t last forever. At some point it our job to help children go through adolescence and go on to become thoughtful, ethical, creative adults (my paraphrase). Rudolf Steiner wanted education to help develop a “free human being.” Sagarin quotes a passage from “The Spiritual Ground of Education” and talks about how adolescents need freedom of their own intelligence and how without the assistance of adults, they may not only flounder or flail, but not survive. The ages between 12 and 16 are a “vulnerability gap” – named this by famed Master Waldorf teacher and author Betty Staley. This is the time to encourage freedom but ALSO responsibility.

Section 2 of “Growth” is “Growth and Learning in Three Easy Graphs!” “When you are very young, and most of your energy or life force is going into your physical growth, you don’t have as much energy available for intellectual growth. But, as your physical growth slows, you are increasingly capable of turning your mind to whatever you choose.” The last graph neatly shows how these areas intersect. While sometimes Waldorf students are seen as “behind” in the early years or early grades due to beginning academics around age 7, they typically catch up and surpass their peers around fourth grade and accelerate their learning in adolescence, where it should be accelerated. This puts the emphasis, in my opinion, upon the health of the whole child.

What did you think about this section?

Blessings,

Carrie

Foundation of the Year: June

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June is one of my favorite months of the year! It’s a time of berry picking, summer rhythms, summer decluttering, and new projects in my head and on paper.

In the midst of scurrying around, and work, there are memories to be made this June. Some of the things we are looking forward to:

Boating on the lake

Going to the beach on the lake

Kayaking and camping

Berry picking and making jam

Planting and harvesting veggies and flowers

Experimenting with new recipes

Spending time together as a family!

This month we will be celebrating:

The Slow Summer – think lakes and pools, tubing, horseback riding, camping, spending time with family and friends. All of my favorite things in one month!  Here is a wonderful guest post by Christine Natale, Master Waldorf Teacher and author about creating the magical summer

14- Flag Day

16 – Father’s Day AND – 

Wed June 21 is Summer Solstice

24 – The Nativity of St. John the Baptist/ St. John’s Tide (see this back post for festival help!)

29- The Feast of St. Peter and St. Paul

Summer Homeschooling and Development:

I am planning an entire (nearly) social-media free month in June and we are kicking off the month by going camping. Do not fear, I will still be posting here on the blog and we will be following along chapter by chapter with our new book to read, “How The Future Can Save Us- Fresh Perspective on Waldorf Education-Principles, Methods, Curriculum” by Stephen Keith Sagarin.

Also look for a few posts on self -care and how to use self- care as the bedrock foundation of your homeschooling and parenting journey.

I am running back to basics this summer – it’s been a crazy few years on the farm with a lot of changes! So I need the basics in my life back, beginning with Gratitude: Eight Facets Of A Healthy Family Culture | The Parenting Passageway and Finding Rhythm With Grades-Aged Children | The Parenting Passageway. If you have littles under the age of 7, you might like this back post: Finding Rhythm With Littles | The Parenting Passageway

Our oldest two children live on their own and have their own lives, but I am busy planning ninth grade for our youngest child. He will be attending a two day a week hybrid school, but we have some blocks and things to add in for his high school transcript. He will be volunteering one day a week at the homeschooled middle school boys outdoor/adventure program he went through and graduated from, and he has plans to start working on areas of interest throughout high school in order to be college ready, which is his goal.

Looking forward to hearing what all of you are up to!

Blessings and love,
Carrie

Read Along With Me: “How The Future Can Save Us” Introduction

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Teacher and author Stephen Sagarin based the idea of this book around a quote from Rudolf Steiner’s last lecture compiled in “Education As A Force For Social Change” that states: “Nor should we allow them to teach before they have gained an idea of how the past and the future affect our culture….and how that undefined rebel of the future can save us.” (Lecture given on August 17, 1919). This was three days before Rudolf Steiner traveled to Stuttgart, Germany to train the first teachers for what would be a “Waldorf School.” However, at the time, he most likely was addressing teachers everywhere. Prior to the above quote, Steiner talked about how teachers needed to know about “forces that determine human fate…..the nature of archangels.”

Our personal angels give us strength and help us on our journey and must never be mistaken for the greater spiritual influence (versus the angels that are here to help us personally). In other words, we have to learn to discern what is meant for us, from our angels, and what is meant for the world (or the children in front of us that we are teaching!). Angels, for Steiner, being mediators between us and the spiritual world. You might be wondering what that has to be with education, if you are new to Waldorf homeschooling. This is important because every time we work with a child, we are engaging and working with the archangels and the child as a spiritual being, helping the child unfold into their path.

Waldorf Education should never be seen as this static, Eurocentric educational method. I think this is often what homeschoolers view Waldorf Education as because of the few curricula available and quite frankly most of the curricula on the market does not have a basis in the teachings of Rudolf Steiner but instead has gone with the outer trappings of nature and math gnomes for first grade and the like. If you do not take the time to consider the child in front of you, to look at this time and place, and at the development of the child, you may be stuck further into practices that Steiner probably never wished on children and practices that he never would have dreamed to become so entrenched in this idea of “this is how we Waldorf educate.” In this respect, I feel you should read this book and take notes if you are a Waldorf parent or Waldorf homeschooling teacher. You should be working with living ideas and what students today need and I this book will help you sort that out based on the picture of the developing human being.

Sagarin points out that, “I don’t believe that Steiner was particularly interested in founding lots of schools. His interest was transforming education to make it practical and healthful for students in the industrialized world, particularly, in the aftermath of World War I, so that they could grow to make the world more peaceful and just.”

This idea of making parenthood and education more healthful has always been a particular interest of mine and this blog. I came to Waldorf Education by reading Rudolf Steiner’s educational lectures, and because I had a deep interest in child development and child health. This interest has never waned since I began working with children in 1998. I still work with families, new mothers, babies, children, teens and people in their 20s and 30s in the healthcare sector. This has given me an eye into the issues that people in their 20s and 30s are facing today, the types of stresses that they are under, how friendships and relationships are flourishing (or not) and perhaps a sense of what we can do about it by having a foundation for people younger than these ages. This is important, because I am seeing a lot of differences in even “micro-generations” – is, the difference between those in their early twenties versus those you are still teenagers.

Sagarin states that his hope for homeschooling parents with this book is to “find an open-minded, thoughtful approach to Steiner’s work that demonstrates the intensely creative but nonprescriptive mode in which he thought, wrote, and spoke.” This book does challenge such things as circle time, math gnomes, main lesson books, blackboard drawing, Norse myths. I think it is a very interesting read! The author writes “….that does not mean that there’s only one way to look at what we do in Waldorf schools, or that we cannot continuously , conscientiously examine and alter and improve our practice.”

So, I really hope you get a copy of this book and follow along with me!

Blessings

Carrie

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One thing that the changing of the months and years brings us is this steadiness.  In an ever changing life and an ever changing world, the months, seasons, and festivals will always be turning round and round.  It can bring us and our families peace and stability if we choose to embrace it.

There are so many glorious things to celebrate about May:  flowers and greenery, bees buzzing, spring time alive, and the activity of children everywhere perking up.  The world is ready to be outside in May in the Northern Hemisphere, and we feel the liveliness and promise of Spring.

What we are celebrating this month:

May Day – May 1

50 Days of Eastertide

Ascension Day – May 9

Mother’s Day – May 12

Memorial Day – May 27 ( a great time to look at summer plans)

Other things on my mind:

  • De-cluttering and deep cleaning with natural cleansers
  • Skin care (yes, skin care).  Time for radiant, dewy skin in May!
  • Spring tales for children and puppetry for small children
  • Gardening
  • The lake and the pool. Our pool is opening for summer this week, and the lake is beckoning
  • Spring menu planning!
  • Exercising. I exercise 5 days a week and it helps keep me sane.

These are a few of my favorite things for small children:

  • Hiking on The Feast of Ascension, watching clouds
  • Making Pentecost crafts
  • Gathering for May Day and dancing around a May Pole!
  • Making crafts for Memorial Day, Memorial Day parades
  • Pedal toys – trikes and bikes! Have your own Memorial Day parade

These are a few of my favorite things for grades-aged children:

  • All of the above, plus
  • Swimming and miniature golf
  • Playing in the water and sand
  • Observing all the dragonflies, bees, and butterflies
  • Calming rituals for rest times and the end of the day.  

These are a few of my favorite things for teens:

  • All of the above, including screen free week
  • Spring cleaning and spring decorating of the home, gardening tasks
  • Spring cooking, making special treats for The Feast of Ascension and Memorial Day
  • Planning surprise May Day baskets for neighbors, and doing things to serve others.
  • Picnics at the lake
  • Later night walks in the warm air – great time to talk after the smaller children have gone to bed

These are a few of my favorite things for myself:

  • Celebrating our family with family meetings and family game night.
  • Celebrating our marriage (32!) with a night out.
  • Drinking lots of water and herbal teas.
  • Acupuncture

I would love to know what is on your mind for this month of May.

homeschooling/education:

Our older two children (22 and 19) have graduated from homeschooling have jobs and live on their own. Our rising high school freshman will have classes two days a week, and will be volunteering one day a week at his former middle school homeschool program to assist the teachers and mentor younger students.

We will have some blocks of learning at home as well, so will be happy to post those plans as we go.

where is the blog these days?

Well, unfortunately no one really reads blogs anymore.  Compared to its heyday, readership here and in blogs in general,  is super low.  I write mainly for myself at this point, I think, and still hope to compile all these posts into ebooks at some point in the future.

For the most part, you can find me on IG (I am on Facebook as well, but I don’t always like the negativity and divisiveness of FB and therefore think about getting off Facebook daily, so IG may be your best bet to follow me).  I will continue to write here as well, but I do wonder if it will drop off to be just IG in the next few years.

The other place you can find me is on the  wonderful forum that The Child Is The Curriculum.  It is an amazing place, and has all your curriculum shopping needs, discussion groups, book studies, and everything all in one place!  I love it, and hope you do as well.

Lastly, you can always email me admin@theparentingpassageway.com to set up a consult by phone – I have half hour and full hour paid slots. 

Can’t wait to hear what you are up to in May!

Blessings,

Carrie

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What Curriculum Should I Use?

This question comes up this time of year as folks are looking towards getting things settled for the next school, which here in the States begins in either August or September, depending upon what state you live in.

When I began homeschooling forever ago, it was the time of Yahoo Groups and there really weren’t many options as far as Waldorf homeschooling curriculum. This was also an era where we were warned by Waldorf teachers that we could not bring a true Waldorf education into the home as the class is a social organism.

So is the family. So is the community in which we live. It is not the same as a classroom in a school, but it can be a successful way to educate human beings. With care, children can thrive in and outside of a classroom.

We only had a two paper curricula to choose from, and if we ordered books from Rudolf Steiner College Bookstore, it was usually sight unseen.

Typically, the way I planned was to figure out what Rudolf Steiner said about that age/grade (remember his general indications were much broader than a single grade), look at the blocks for that grade, learn about that subject myself from books from the library (actually read the fairy tales, the fables, read about that period in history, learn about math skills or chemistry or whatever!), think about the three day rhythm for grades aged children – present/practice other academic skills, sleep, review and deepen academic skills, sleep, create something new and a synthesis out of what had been presented. Practice! Put this into a school calendar surrounding the seasons and festival of the year and viola! Another homeschool year is born!

In this day and age, where people are busier than ever and families are often having to work two and three jobs just to stay afloat financially, there is this push for curricula that is open and go, that someone else other than the parent could possibly implement, for a curricula that distills things down. I really do understand that times are different than what they were, that is it hard starting out, and you feel like you don’t know enough about Waldorf education to really authentically bring it. I have been there, and it’s what prompted me to gather people into a homeschooling group and to earn a certificate in The Arts and Anthroposophy.

I think it is STILL always better to create something for your own child that reflects your family, where you live, what speaks to your child than any prepackaged curricula. Most true Waldorf curricula are not open and go, but they do give you a space and a place to jump off the pages and create something. I think the best curricula would probably just be a presentation of options. If it’s a really tough year, maybe a really solid choice would be something like Oak Meadow or another gentle but closer to mainstream curriculum. It is different than Waldorf Education and that is okay as some years in our families are just plain difficult and require different choices. These curriculums are not second choice, they are just different.

Waldorf Education is spiritual; it is the gift of allowing the spiritual journey of the human being open onto earth. It requires us to be touch with the slower, more intuitive and artistic parts of ourselves, which takes and requires time. It might require us tapping into our artistic selves – you don’t have to be an award winning artist or musician or handworking talent, but you have to be willing to try. It might require us hunting and searching and creating what to bring. At its heart, it is also about your development as a person, as a caretaker and parent, and as a teacher.

Putting together a Waldorf curriculum for your child takes time. Most good things in parenting, and in life, do.

If you are looking for more on this topic, try these back posts. Many blessings – Carrie

Which Waldorf Curriculum Do I Buy?
Making A Waldorf Curriculum Work For You!
‘Tis the Season for Choosing Waldorf Homeschooling Curriculum