Another Question From The Field: Balance In Homemaking

This question came in awhile ago and I have been pondering it since in the back of my mind.  I was not certain I had anything valuable to add;   some things ”just are”
in life, but then I did think of something I wanted to say (uh, and it turned out to be way more than I expected, so you may need a cup of tea! LOL)   Here is the original comment/question:

Here is a very honest admission for you: I get no satisfaction of out homekeeping and I am quite certain that I never will :) I *can* do all the things: cook delicious meals every day, ferment, and mill my own flour, I can sew and knit and paint, I can keep the home clean and in reasonable order. But when that is all I do, I can feel my soul slowly dying! I go through seasons of pulling myself together and even enjoying my tasks, and then falling apart, throwing in a towel, because after all, what’s the point? Yes, this is a lovely way to live, to have a cozy home and good food, but I.am.miserable. I’ve been told all manner of things: I’m lazy, I need to change my attitude, I need to get therapy to deal with some deep-seated resentment and blah-blah-blah. I feel that the truth is simpler than that. I am someone who is extremely extroverted, requires massive amounts of regular intellectual stimulation, and a great deal of variety in life :) There must be a way to find some kind of balance. I realize that my children are young (2, 4.5, and one on the way), I am quite realistic about the care, time and effort they require at this stage of life. But I just can’t give up my sanity and my very essence to keeping the home.
Thoughts? thanks!

That is really hard and I think so many of us as mothers can identify with the feelings expressed in this comment.  It can be so hard to do all the things we might think need to be associated with homemaking and parenting, to make things “right”.  Maybe there is also a bit of perfectionism hidden within many of us – if we don’t do all these things, then our children will not do well.  This can make things seem burdensome or a chore instead of light and lovely.  And, it all can be such a big burden – why do I have to be The Queen of My Home? Can’t someone else do it?  I just want to take the day off!  There are days I feel that way as well. Continue reading

Homeschooling Question From The Field

This question from the field came in today, and I wanted to share it here:

Hi Carrie,
Do you yourself follow a 3-day rhythm for homeschool? I like the 3-day rhythm (we do a 4-day school week) but it seems all of the major waldorf homeschool curricula follow a 2, 2-day rhythm. I feel like a 3-day rhythm would give us more time to work with a story but worry we wouldn’t fit enough in in a year (this is my first year homeschooling). In first grade, would you just introduce one letter or number per week (with a 3-day rhythm) or would you cover more than that? Continue reading

Part Three of “Feeding, Growth and The Brain”

We are going to wrap up this chapter by taking a quick peek at the other nutrients mentioned:

Magnesium – is intricately involved in working with calcium and phosphorus. A deficiency in magnesium can manifest as over-anxiety, irritability, labile emotions, craving for sweets and alcohol, and stiffness of fine motor movements.   Kelp, fresh green peas, whole grains, nuts and seeds are sources.  See page 117 of the chapter for more information. Continue reading

Plans For The First Week of Advent

Some of you have asked for very simple plans regarding Advent.  I thought I would share the very simple things my family and I are doing each week.  Some things are geared toward the youngest members of the family, and some are not.   You can just pick and choose and take what resonates with you out of this as a good match for your family!

Throughout Advent, I will be using this book for my own meditation:http://www.amazon.com/Monastery-Journey-Christmas-Victor-Antoine-DAvila-Latourrette/dp/0764820818   and for the children we will read the Gospel portion of the day’s lectionary out loud.  I am also working through the Book of Isaiah on my own.

I think the main thing to keep in mind is that Advent is a time to slow down, and just enjoy each other, to pray, to fast, to repent, to prepare – so if having a list like the following pressures you or makes you feel not happy inside, then don’t do it or  again, pick and choose for your own family what is best.

These are some of my ideas for this week; we may not do them all at all! Continue reading

Part Two of “Feeding, Growth and the Brain”

We are continuing our look at Chapter 8 of “The Well Balanced Child:  Movement and Early Learning” by Sally Goddard Blythe with this interesting chapter on feeding, growth and brain development.  The authors takes a look at several important nutrients and the research surrounding their effect on brain development.  This post is going to look at zinc, because I think it is surprising the amount of research conducted on this one mineral.

Zinc – is essential for all aspects of development, and affects sperm production and fertility but also successful outcome of pregnancy and maternal behavior.  Studies looking at zinc deficient diets in the pregnancies of rats showed that these rats failed to mother their offspring.  The baby rats showed lethargy, reduced weight gain, and increase in emotionality compared to those rats fed a zinc-enriched diet.  Growth, sexual maturity, learning ability, resistance to stress, and behavioral control are all linked to zinc.  Depression, sensitivity to light, impaired sense of taste and smell, and anorexia and bulimia are all linked to lower zinc levels.

More than that, the chapter sites a source as saying, Continue reading

An Attitude of Gratitude

It is Thanksgiving today in the United States.  Instead of ringing in Thanksgiving in my nice cozy bed, I find myself awake and contemplating gratitude.  How can I bring an attitude of gratitude to my family and my home today and every day?

I was thinking about words…sometimes in the heat of the moment, in a time of tension or even just in a time of minor irritation, words come out that no one really means.  Adults apologize, and yet those words can enter the soul and wound.  I have met many emotionally wounded people in this past month and so much of it caused by words…I was thinking today how I would like to step up the vigilance I place on the words I choose and use.  This thought of being present with a smile, a nod, a reassuring pat, of not offering advice unless asked, the thought of always having an encouraging word to say…and showing my gratitude through the words I do choose.

You are wonderful.  I love you.

You are terrific.

Thank you.

I couldn’t do this without you!

I love this moment with you.

I am thankful to have you in my life.

I was thinking about showing gratitude through warmth…the emotional warmth that comes from being loved. Continue reading

“Feeding, Growth and The Brain”

This is Chapter 8 of “The Well Balanced Child:  Movement and Early Learning” by Sally Goddard Blythe.  This chapter is about diet and how diet affects the brain.

The beginning of the chapter discusses different theories about the role of diet in ancient mankind, and questions why human babies are born with so much subcutaneous fat.  The author also discusses research that has been found that for brain development, the ratio of Omega –3 and Omega-6 fats are about in a one to one balance.  “Omega-3 fatty acids are relatively scarce in the land food chain, but predominate in the marine food chain.  It is possible that at one time in our ancestral history, seafood formed a much larger proportion of the diet than in modern times.”   The stores of fat laid down before birth provides a storehouse of sorts for the first years of life when the brain is rapidly myelinating.  (Remember, myelination is the fatty sheaths that are laid around nerves to make nerve conduction faster).

The author discusses low birth weight babies, and how these babies are prone to more neurologic impairment and also at higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and renal failure later in life.  Low-birth babies are actually more susceptible to diabetes and prone to obesity in adulthood due to the insulin producing cells of the pancreas being “over-worked”.  This information is nothing new to those of us in the medical field, but I do wonder how many parents know this.  I also find that this book spends so much time going through different things leading to a child having challenges and rarely seems to focus on what would help,(at least yet), so I worried that parents reading this would be upset and feel hopeless.  If you have had a low birth weight baby and this information is new to you, please don’t panic discuss this with your health care team!  Your health care provider will have more up-to-date information than what is in this book.

One of the best ways to protect all of our children, low birth weight or not, is to breastfeed.    Human milk is high in essential fatty acids,which helps in a number of ways, including such things as forming the membrane barriers around cells, determining the fluidity and chemical reactivity of membranes, serving as a starting point for hormone-like substances that help regulate blood pressure, platelet stickiness and renal function and more.

But a lack of vitamin and mineral co-factors, particularly zinc, magnesium, and vitamins B3, B6, and C, prevents synthesis of fatty acids.  This points to “the importance of a varied and healthy diet at all times of life, but particularly prior to and during pregnancy and breast-feeding – times when modern women are sometimes tempted to restrict their diet…”  The author also points out that a healthy gut bacteria and flora helps set the stage for the efficient absorption of nutrients.

In the next post, we will take a peek at some of the vitamins and minerals necessary for brain development and fatty acid absorption.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Holiday Gifts For Children

Many families are starting to think about holiday gifts (and perhaps panicking a bit as the holidays seem a bit closer than one realizes!)

I wanted to reiterate my plea for having a very healthy, fun, beautiful and peaceful holiday with a limited focus on the external trappings of gifts, consumerism and commercialism.  I don’t know if any of you remember the lovely guest that Christine Natale did last year for The Parenting Passageway and talked about some of her traditions that were not centered on the materialistic things, but on joyous fun and generosity spread out throughout a season:   https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/12/06/christine-natales-musings-on-saint-nicholas-day-and-starting-new-holiday-traditions/

My number one suggestion would be to see if you can extend a generous attitude of giving to both your children and those outside your family for the whole season. Continue reading

“Of Many Minds”–Brain Development and Education

Tonight, we are back with Chapter 7 of “The Well Balanced Child: Movement and Early Learning”, entitled “Of Many Minds”.  This is a fairly lengthy chapter and I want to focus on the parts of it related to education for you all to ponder.

This chapter makes the point that one of the most important things that happen in childhood is that connections are made within the brain, between higher and lower regions and also between the two hemispheres of the brain.  Piaget called this period the “sensory motor period” and I think with good reason! There is discussion about the important role about the cerebellum, which you can find on pages 93-94.

This is a great quote from page 94:  “Although learning can take place at any stage in development, it is more efficient if it coincides with the time of neurological ‘readiness.’”  This statement appears to be in stark contrast to the American school system today, where facts are stuffed into the child with little regard for what is happening physiologically, never mind holistically, with the child.

The right hemisphere develops slightly ahead of the left hemisphere up until about age 7.  The right hemisphere is associated with whole word recognition, maths, rhythm, spatial orientation, language (emotional), visual, intuitive, holistic kinds of things.  “The years of optimum right-hemisphere dominant development are years when learning is still strongly linked to sensory-motor activity.” Continue reading

Planning for Advent…

Today my oldest child noted, “I don’t know why, but I feel like its Christmas!”  Well, it is the beginning of Advent for some Christians, and I am thinking about Advent myself.  The Orthodox Christian churches start their Nativity Fast today (forty days before The Feast of the Nativity or Christmas), and in the West, the Church of France actually also held the same tradition.  I think children hold these innate truths more clearly than we as adults do; they just KNOW.

I am starting my own inner Advent work today and am starting to make plans for slowly focusing on the things that are important to me as I slow down, pray, be quiet and still and just reflect and think.

There can be so much “busyness” around the holiday season, that I think it is easy to get very caught up and frantic rather than quietly anticipation and demonstrating our own peacefulness with a holding of truly what this season means unless we make plans for these small pockets of stillness.

I have some plans for handcrafting….I am making two wool pictures of Saint Francis for both of my girls’ rooms, and will be making a few small sewn items for a stocking stuffer swap taking place over on www.homespunwaldorf.com.  I also have plans for baking and for making a beeswax salve for gifts.

But most of all, I have plans for gathering up extended family and just having a joyous time together.  I have plans for doing things at church.  I have plans for doing something small each day to help my children draw still and quiet and reflect in a reverent way on this time.

I would love to hear your plans for holiday crafting, baking or Advent ideas.    If you are celebrating Hanukah or another holiday, I would love to hear from you as well.

Many blessings,
Carrie