Category Archives: Family Life

Toys! Toys! Toys!

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One of the most common questions one hears in the Waldorf World is about toys –  those beautiful, expensive, wooden, natural fiber toys.  How does one transition into those, what does one do with the plastic toys, how does one handle inappropriate gifts?

Uh, pour yourself a cup of tea and come back, because this is a big subject.

I really respect all the natural toymakers out there and Waldorf sellers of natural toys.  They are wonderful.   (Also, I am not against plastic toys at all, some of them – legos come to mind, some families love Playmobile or matchbox cars).   However, there are a few things to keep in mind regarding toys, before you start adding to your child’s toy collection with natural toys.

The first thing to keep in mind is that you do not need many toys at all.  I wrote a post about this awhile back, why not click over and see if it resonates with you?  Here it is:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/23/holiday-gifts-for-children-how-much-is-too-much/

Kim John Payne also gets to the heart of this in his book “Simplicity Parenting” (for a review see here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/26/favorite-waldorf-resource-2-simplicity-parenting-using-the-extraordinary-power-of-less-to-raise-calmer-happier-and-more-secure-kids-by-kim-john-payne-and-lisa-ross/)  I believe Marsha Johnson also has a wonderful article in her FILES section of her Yahoo!Group (www.waldorfhomeeducators@yahoogroups.com to join) addressing this very topic.  Both of these resources talk about the positive effects of LESS. 

Under this topic, I  have to mention that a beautiful wooden kitchen is still a beautiful wooden kitchen, but a box can be a kitchen, a spaceship, a house, a cave…the possibilities are endless!  So, I guess my point is that whilst I too love the wooden toys and natural toys, do keep in mind that the simplicity of it all should be in toys that can be more than one thing, toys that can transform as a child’s play flows from one thing to another.

Toymaking with children or with your children in mind is also important.  You don’t need a lot of skill to start, and the book “Toymaking With Children” really lays this all out for you:  http://www.amazon.com/Toymaking-Children-Freya-Jaffke/dp/0863153674/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266602196&sr=8-1   Why not consider making your own toys?

The second thing to keep in mind is the age of your child and the development of play, so you know what toys are appropriate and needed.  This way you do not put out all the toys a child from birth to seven will go through at once, but only the ones specific for that age and only a handful so you can rotate them in and out.

Ages Birth – Two- and –a- half:  Their own hands and feet are the best toys in the first year, and perhaps I would add a beautiful mobile or Nature Table to look at.  Around the toddler years, one could add a VERY SIMPLE knotted or  bunting -style doll.  There are instructions on how to make one of these in “Toymaking With Children”  Meredith has a nice post regarding dolls here over at Waldorf Reviews:   http://www.waldorfreviews.com/?p=66

Wooden spoons, pots, bowls are all welcome as well, along with baskets to fill and dump, and also some playcloths to set up a corner in which the child  can hide or rest.  I would also add blocks, pails for the sandbox, a basin to put water in for play. 

It is important that every toy has a home and is cared for with love and reverence.  A doll should be included in your rhythm as part of the family and cared for with love.  🙂  Here is an article from Gateways regarding the relationship of the child to the doll:  http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/GW56raichle.pdf

More Notes About Play During This Period:  “Toymaking With Children” has this to say about birth to the third year:  “The adult’s actions are absorbed not consciously but lovingly.  At first, children limit themselves to apparently purposelessly imitative activity.  They go around the room like their mother, picking up things which she has just tided away, only to put them down again somewhere else.  When the mother fills her pot with potatoes, the child fills a basket or cart with building blocks.”

So, being able to show your child some WORK is of utmost importance.

Ages Two-and-a-Half to Age Five:   This is where fantasy and imaginative play really emerge.  The children of this age take the toys and pretend they are whatever they need at the moment – things for a store, things for the farm.  Open-ended toys such as playsilks and clips to make a house is wonderful, playstands are often used at this age, and baskets filled with open-ended objects from nature such as shells, stones, pinecones, etc that can become whatever the child needs in the moment. 

Playing in nature is very important at all ages, but especially at these ages.  Mud, sand, water are all the child’s playground. 

Work hard into picking up WITH your children and making it fun; they will not go and pick up by themselves with just a verbal command.  They are imitating you, and you get to be the leader of a fun game for cleaning up.  Put the time for clean-up into your rhythm.

Ages Five to Seven Years:  A doll with arms and legs to dress and undress is important at this age.  Simple toys and crafts Waldorf sellers that focus a bit more on fine motor skills may be appropriate at this point for those times of inbreath, but time in nature and developing gross motor skills is still so important – can your child ride a bike?  Walk on stilts?  Do the monkey bars?  Swim in the deep end?  Jump rope?  Play hopscotch?

You might be saying, this is wonderful, Carrie but what do I do with all of my plastic toys?

Families I have known have approached this in several  ways.  First, do sort through the toys and discard the ones that are broken.  Your children may  enjoy finding toys to give away to goodwill, but in my experience, many children do not.  Yet, many parents feel badly about going through their children’s toys and donating them.  Sometimes what works is to leave out a few toys and put the other toys in boxes for rotation into the play area.  If you arrange your toy area in a beautiful way, you may be surprised about your children being more content with LESS.  You may even be able to donate a few of those boxes of plastic toys as no one asks for them ever again as some more open-ended toys come in to the space.    I also encourage families going through this to cut back on media and plan some activities outside. Get the children involved in your practical work.  Set up play scenarios to show them how this would work.  Tell them fairy tales, spark their imagination.

Here are a few back posts to help:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/10/29/more-about-fostering-creative-play/

and this one:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/10/05/fostering-creative-play/

Most of all, please be confident!  You are not taking toys away from your children but increasing the quality of their play through the power of less!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Lent In The Waldorf Home

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I love this quote from “Waldorf Education:  A Family Guide” as edited by Pamela Johnson Fenner and Karen L. Rivers:

“As Steiner writes in “Spiritual Bells of Easter, I”:

Festivals are meant to link the human soul with all that lives and weaves in the great universe.  We feel our souls expanding in a new way during these days at the beginning of spring…It is at this time of year, the time of Passover and Easter, that human souls can find that there lives…in the innermost core of their being, a fount of eternal, divine existence.

If we can begin to penetrate the cosmic significance of the mystery of this season, the rebirth of nature, the freeing of the Israelites, and the death and resurrection of Christ, we begin to understand that Easter is as A.P. Shepherd writes.”…the Festival of the spiritual future of humanity, the Festival of Hope and the Festival of Warning.”

Shrove Tuesday was this week.  This day grew from the practice of obtaining absolution –to be “shriven” or “shrove” before the forty-day fasting of Lent.  Years ago, this was a very strict dietary fast and meat and eggs and milk were used up before Lent started.  Pancake-making and tossing was often tradition on this special day, and I am sure many of you are familiar with the custom of Carnival (Karneval in Germany) leading up to Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. 

Ash Wednesday began with the practice of wearing a sackcloth for Lent and covering one’s head with ashes. 

“All Year Round” has this to say:”Lent has been kept as a time of penance, of strict self-denial, and for contemplating the sufferings and temptations of Jesus Christ as he fasted forty days in the wilderness.  Nowadays, the imposed strictness of Lent has been largely relaxed, and more emphasis placed on using the time to strengthen the inner life through spiritual education or appropriate self-discipline.  The long fasts of Lent and Advent were once used to make pilgrimages or “progresses” to holy places.  The word “progress implies not only the outer journey, but also the inner journey of the pilgrim – his progress in self-development.”

So, without further ado, here are some traditional ways to celebrate Lent:

  • Fasting and eating cleansing foods such as dandelion, nettles, leeks, chevril.  In anthroposophic terms, we talk about doing this as an example for children for this season.
  • Spring Cleaning!
  • Spending time away from outer stimulation and more time with an inward focus.
  • For a young child, “All Year Round” recommends spending time with your child each day doing one small thing to develop a Lenten mood.  This could include sitting together and listening to the birds sing in the morning in silence, taking time to look for the moon each night.
  • Decor:   a small unlit candle, bare twigs on the Nature Table, a bowl of dry earth or ashes on the Nature Table (you could plant seeds there on Palm Sunday so something grows during Holy Week).
  • Celebrate “Mothering Sunday” –the fourth Sunday in Lent was traditionally  when young people working away from home were given the day off to visit their mothers.  Traditional gifts include Sinnel Cake (like a fruit cake) and violets. 

Some of the traditions we have include eating pancakes on Fat Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday), setting up our Nature Table as above, eating cleansing food and reducing certain components of our diet, participating in a Bible study for Lent (this year I am studying a part of the book of Psalms), reducing computer time and spending more time together as a family.

One craft to consider for yourself this time of year is wet- on- wet watercolor painting.  I painted the other night for an hour or so, making purple from red and blue.  It is very meditative and calming to do this, and the pictures you paint can then be cut into crosses for your Nature Table, or you can make a transparent part in your paintings with tissue paper of different colors. 

I will be writing a separate post regarding the celebration of  Palm Sunday and the Holy Week leading up to Easter Sunday.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Children, Media and More Wise Words From Marsha Johnson

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(SORRY!  I originally had the WRONG link in this post!  It is corrected now!)

This is about media for the child under age 12!  Great thoughts you can take and tailor to your own family!  Mrs. Johnson is a veteran Waldorf teacher and has a wonderful Yahoo!Group for issues solely related to Waldorf homeschooling.  Please see this link to join:  www.waldorfhomeeducators @yahoogroups.com

Mrs. Johnson writes:

“I myself am nearly 100 % convinced that the most dangerous item in the home for children age 12 and younger is the television (including video games and computers). I believe we can trace use of this device to hyperactivity disorders, certain types of autism, and as well, a general reduction of the intelligence level of modern humans. Poor vocabulary (televisions are geared for a very low level of academic level), poor reading, poor spelling, a training for a short-bite experience in every single part of life, unrealistic life expectations built on fantasy pre-scripted television or dramatic episodes which are choreographed and pre-dictated, loss of interest in social or community interaction, loss of confidence building in experiencing ‘real-life’ interactions with physical substances or encountering mother nature (let’s go camping on the WII!), loss of physical development that is associated with moving all four limbs and using your brain to ride bikes, ice skate, row a boat, actually go fishing or driving or whatever.
The worst of all is the ads that show ridiculous situations such as the road -trip family with a beautiful southwest vista, i.e., Grand Canyon, and the kids are happy because there is a VIDEO player in the ceiling of the dang car.
I would if I could, take away all access to children 12 and younger. Yes go to the movies. Yes, go as a family, say three to four times per year and pick carefully and make it a big deal and go and sit together and enjoy it as a family. Go out for a meal afterwards and talk about it. Use it as an infrequent family outing, balanced with other family outings. You do not have to miss Avatar or Star Trek or the Dinosaur Walk thingy. Go as a family and make it a family activity, participating in a ritualistic group event that is rationale and rare.
Children are born with a natural capacity to imagine so many beautiful worlds and spirits. To see spirit beings and talk with them, to connect for a few breath taking years directly with the spiritual world…..it passes away so fast! Each moment your child under the age of 7, in my opinion, sits in front of a tv or a video land, you are literally draining that capacity like a hose will drain a swimming pool. Yes, just stealing it away.
It is impossible for our children to ignore this beast, in the vast majority of cases. Why don’t we keep a bowl of white sugar on the counter with a spoon, nearby? Or cans of plain soda pop, full of chemicals and caffeine and colorings? Most of you would not dream of allowing your children to eat Twinkies and Sugar Daddies for supper, but would and do accept the drug of the screen, those flashing icy blue brain-wave changing ‘eyes’ to totally overtake your children on a regular basis.
After 12, it is quite different I think, and certainly after 14. But it is not only age, it is also type of being: the highly awake nerve sense child (quick, brilliant, but like a literal sponge) will be sucked much more easily than the will-dominant child (have to MOVE) or the heart-feeling child (who will have to act it out, color at the same time, rush off to dress up, talk about the event at the same time, etc etc). The nerve-sense child has only to hear a ditty ONE TIME and they can sing if flawlessly, forever! :L
Yes, there is plenty of research out there. Check it out yourself. We forget how to think (or never learn), forget how to just be (never without stimulation) and forget how to dream (it has all been sucked out of us….the soil is dried and hardened…).
The solution? If your family is tv-addicted or screen-addicted, don’t just toss it out, replace it with fun and interesting activities at first, go join a folk dance team, go to church, have a family board game night, go camping, and ‘forget’ batteries. Slowly reduce and remove screen time and be sure your spouse is completely on board (haha this will fail is papa still needs to watch football add day Sat and Sun).
Keep a tv if you must have one, and lock it up like you would guns or alcohol. Use it as an adult choice. Figure out how to secure your computer with a password and do not tell the kids what it is. Refuse to buy games or systems and if your children visit other people’s homes, call first and ask the mama or daddy, please avoid the use of xyz when Sally visits, we are allergic to nintendo, playstation, blah blah blah and I would like to ask that they not use that while in your home having a nice play date.
Refuse to buy cable or machines that bring in more channels, etc. If you do keep a tv, set it with a parent-control to boring programs like news on the public radio channel. Use your computer at night after the kids are in bed (7 pm) and you can spend a little time catching up. Avoid texting or using your cell phone when you are with your children. Spend TIME with your children, set aside a time for cell phone use and tell your friends and family, call me at xyz time, please. Otherwise I will be with my kids.
Set examples and form neighborhood bike rallies, bake holiday treats as a group, set up a tree house or back yard fort, build a bbq pit and make bonfires, be the neighborhood active parent whose home is filled with kids and laughter..put on a spring play for the neighborhood and invite others to a bowling party or whatever.
Make it a priority and you may be able to positively affect your child, in this day and age when we are voluntarily allowing ourselves to be literally devoured by the giant materialistic machine of commericalism. Worse than the gingerbread house witch by far, the dependence and consumption of the screens on our waking hours is by far the greatest danger to the human race at this point in time.
Mrs M”

(Carrie here:  I spoke about this in my talk the other night on “The Waldorf Connection”; that there really isn’t any “no” in Waldorf, just the question of  “when”  and how there are some ages to bring things in more than others.  One must always ask oneself when supplying information and activities, is this necessary NOW?  What age would this be good or necessary?  If we do this NOW or my child knows all this NOW, what will my child be doing when they are 10 or 14 or 20?  Things should be different at different ages, not everything should be handed to one’s child on a platter when they are four years of age!  Protect your child’s innocence and childhood, it is more important than ever as they are going to grow up into a world that moves even faster and has more technology  than we do at this moment!)

Many blessings for today,

Carrie

Dads Out There?

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Most of what I write is geared toward  mothers, but I am becoming aware of a number of fathers who also come to this space!  Hello to all the fathers out there!  I appreciate you being here!

At the end of last night’s show (see www.thewaldorfconnection.com), a Dad called in asking how to make use of the limited weekday time with the under-7 child.

Families do things all different ways; I have seen families push back bedtimes so the children can play with Dad, have a snack with Dad, etc before bed.  Some children do wonderfully with this and some children go waaaaay off the deep end with this end and the night ends with tears and do better with Dad parenting them to sleep – walking a small child around, singing to their child, back rubs, massages, telling wonderful stories.

I have harped on this time and time again:  you are creating your family culture together.  Parenting is in the doing!  Mothers, give up control and parent together.  You love this man enough to marry him, to have children with him, he is the parent as well!    Mothers  will wail to me,  “But he doesn’t do it the way I do it!”  Uh, yes, isn’t that the point?  There is a place for mothering and fathering and we are thrilled to have both! 

Children need to have their fathers; fathers bring so many wonderful things to the table for children.  I will write more about this in the future, but in the meantime, here are some back posts to read and ponder:

An old favorite: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/01/23/the-necessity-of-mothering-and-fathering/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/27/more-on-marriage-how-do-you-work-with-the-differences/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/18/fathers-and-daughters-part-one/                                                             https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/20/fathers-and-daughters-part-two/

Dads and homeschooling:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/12/15/a-letter-to-all-those-dads-undecided-about-homeschooling/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/01/20/dads-waldorf-homeschooling-and-parenting/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/23/when-both-parents-need-a-break/

Love and respect:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/06/simple-february-love-for-your-partner/

Dads might be interested in this:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/06/30/rite-of-passage-parenting-four-essential-experiences-to-equip-your-kids-for-life-heading-up-to-the-nine-year-change-and-beyond/

Just to keep you busy!

Blessings,

Carrie

Chinese New Year in the Waldorf Home

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You thought this month was going to be all Valentine’s Day?  Well, no, because today my wonderful friend came over and brought her Chinese heritage with her to help us ready our house for the Chinese New Year!

The first thing we did was to make Pearl Balls – which are essentially ground pork mixed with fresh water chestnuts (the fresh ones are a different creature than those things in a can!), scallions, soy sauce, kosher salt, ginger and garlic – made into balls and rolled in gelatinous rice.  Then you steam them in one of those tiered bamboo steamers over a wok  for about an hour and half.  You dip them in a dipping sauce made from soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, hot chili pepper sesame oil and ginger, garlic and scallions and eat them with your chopsticks!  Yum!

Whilst those were steaming, we were busy writing Chinese characters for good luck on red construction paper to put on our front door, listening to my friend count from  one to 10 in Mandarin, hearing a story about the Kitchen God, and  then making these sweet little Chinese tissue paper crafts…. We also had a great time looking up what year everyone was born and what animal that corresponded to on the Chinese Zodiac and such.  Good times!

Other traditions my friend passed on to me, is that the traditional meal on Chinese New Year’s consists of having foods that are as whole as possible (for example, a whole fish steamed in the bamboo steamer with the head and tail on; you can use your chopsticks to poke around and  eat it); having noodles for long life and health; not sweeping  or cleaning anything on the Chinese New Year (because you don’t want to sweep your good luck or good fortune out the door as well!); having your children stay up as late as possible on the night before Chinese New Year because this ensures the parents will live a long life; and making lots of noise on the Chinese New Year to scare any evil spirits away.  What fabulous traditions and what fun to sit around and talk about!

Here are a few books that may be of assistance to you as you plan your own Chinese New Year’s celebration:

http://www.amazon.com/Moonbeams-Dumplings-Dragon-Boats-Activities/dp/0152019839/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265737650&sr=1-1

and here:  http://www.amazon.com/1-Go-Huy-Voun-Lee/dp/080506205X/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_2

For more from a Waldorf point of view, please see over at Our Little Nature Nest here:  http://naturenest.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/songs-on-sunday-gung-hay-fat-choy-happy-chinese-new-year/

Please leave your favorite Chinese New Year’s tradition in the comment box below!

Many blessings,

Carrie

Simple February: Love For Your Partner

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No one sets off to fall “out of love” with their partner.  Sometimes, though, as careers and finances and parenting and life just settle in all around us, in those spaces and cracks  between us and our partner, we can feel less than loving.  It can be hard to remember back to those first days of being in love with our partner or spouse, how our heart raced, how much we wanted to be with that person every minute, how excited we were to get married and be together!

I think you can recapture this feeling in your marriage or partnership, but all too often mothers put their spouse and their marital relationship dead last on the list of priorities.  Or something that I hear many mothers speak of is this “growing apart” –wanting different ways to relax at the end of the day, different ways to want to spend the precious amount of time one may get alone whilst raising small children, and how to balance spending time as a family, together as a couple and alone….It is challenging to say the least.

I  think “love”, traditionally associated with this month due to St. Valentine’s Day is a good, simple place to start in your most treasured relationship. Love can be a noun, but it also can be a verb.  So in this simple month of February, how can you make this feeling of  love come alive  for your partner in  life?

Sometimes it is the very small things, such as bringing your spouse a glass of water whilst they are working outside on a hot day. Sometimes it is the large things, supporting your partner through work situations or backing your partner up in parenting. 

How else  will love become a verb this month in your own home, in your own reality?  Here are some random thoughts I had:

  • Many fathers seem to feel “scheduling” time together is not very  spontaneous (which it is not) or romantic (but it can be!)  When is there time for just you and your spouse?  In the early years of attachment parenting, it is very easy to get caught up in your baby’s and toddler’s needs; it is necessary. But, at the same time, you cannot put your marriage and relationship last on the list for years on end! 
  • I don’t think you need to escape from your baby or toddler in order to be together.  Catch those moments together during nap times, have take-out and a movie to play after your little one goes to bed, steal away for intimacy in the middle of the night. Be creative with gathering those bits of time in busy family life, because your marriage is worth it.
  • Physical intimacy!   It is so important!
  • If you are in different places as far as what you like to do together, see if you can compromise and each get to pick different things to do as a couple.  How often do you just sit and talk about things that don’t involve finances, the house, the children?  That is so valuable to just connect with each other.
  • Think about what your spouse hears from you when he walks in the door: does he only hear you upset and complaining or nagging or does he hear how happy you are to see him, how much you missed him today, how much you love him?  Do you ever thank him for the things he does do that you enjoy, that are helpful to you?  Can you be cheerful and tell him the good things that happen during the day as well as the sorrows?
  • Do you try to be attractive for yourself and for him as well?  Yes, I know that sounds so old-fashioned, but I think that is part of my job as a wife to be clean and attractive to him.  I also like to try to pick up the house before my husband gets home, so he is not coming home to a sea of chair forts with blankets everywhere.  I try to have a warm dinner ready so we can eat together as a family.  When you have small children, these seemingly basic things can be so challenging in themselves, but I think it is of worth to work on them as your children grow.

For simple February, love really is all you need.  Make it a verb and see what you can do to grow together.  Twenty years from now your children will be gone, and you want to have a loving relationship through all those years and beyond. Simplicity means picking priorities, and this really should be one of them!

Simple times this month,

Carrie

Simple February

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We focused a lot on joy in January, and February is now the month to really look at how simple life can be; how confidence can grow when we intuit onto the right path.  Mothers in my local area have often  asked me how they can gain confidence with their parenting decisions, with the decision to homeschool, with the business of raising a family and creating a family culture.  I think this goes back to making life simple:  what do you feel in your heart?

I live in a large metropolitan area.  When I go to the giant Farmer’s Market, it really strikes me to look around at just the large number of people of all different races, backgrounds, ethnicities in one area.  They were not all raised the same way.  Their culture, perhaps their religion, perhaps their education, all influenced how they became who they are. Their experiences, the people they have loved and the people who have loved them, have all contributed to who they are and how they see things.  We all have similarities, but we all look at things differently.  And for some reason, that brings me comfort.  The world is a big place, there are many ways of doing things,  and certainly I cannot err if I approach things gently and with love and with patience.  I can be  easy with myself, and know that while there may be one path that works well for me, it is not the same for all families and there are many wonderful people in the world raised in different ways…Again, if I am gentle and kind and patient, I am doing the best for my family.

Mothers ask me:  well, but how do I find the right path for my family?  I am just researching myself to death!

I have a suggestion for you!  For February, look at yourself.  We talk a lot about biography in Waldorf, but I also think it is really relevant in parenting as well.  Who are you?  What do you believe?  Why do you believe that?  How have your experiences influenced what you believe?  Your values?  The truth is, the way to gain confidence in parenting  is to really know yourself.  Dig deep. Know what irritates you, what calms you, what and who you love, what matters and what doesn’t.  Know what is essential for you and your family and what is not.  There are only so many hours in the day, and to me, I cannot waste these short hours and days on non-essential things.

Once you decide how your biography plays into things, the essential and non-essential things in your life, then your confidence will grow.  You will also be able to pull one thing out at a time and work on changing that one thing for forty days.  Once you decide what is essential and non-essential, you will handle criticism with confidence.  You will be able to carry on!

Simple days in February!

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Magic of Candlemas

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This is a festival that is new to many people, and really can be two separate days and in that regard can be a bit confusing.

February 1st is the day to honor St. Brigid (or Brigit, depending upon what reference you use). ( February 1st also is Imbolc or Imbolg in the Pagan tradition).

February 1st is seen as the first day of Spring.  I know this seems very odd indeed when in many parts of the Northern Hemisphere people are dealing with ice and cold, but within the agricultural realm, this day is the day that marks the days getting a bit longer.  This is a traditional time to prepare for lambing, and usually spring sowing begins.

Brigid was originally viewed as a Celtic goddess, at least according to the Irish tradition as counted in “Celebrating Irish Festivals” and then Brigid became revered as a Saint within the advent of Christianity in Ireland.  There are stories about Brigid as the daughter of  the innkeeper that gave the holy family shelter in the stable, that she helped Mary escape with an infant Jesus by distracting guards who searched on King Herod’s orders…

She is associated with having a cloak of miracles.  In some stories, Brigid requested to have land given to her by the King of Leinster, and when the King said she could have whatever her cloak covered, she laid it down and the cloak covered a large parcel of land!

Here are some ways to celebrate:

  • Make Brigid Crosses as protection from evil, fire,  lightening, disease.  There are many instructions for this one the web. Here is what they look like if you are not familiar:  http://janegmeyer.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/fifth-century-weaving-a-saint-brigids-cross/
  • Leave out a cloak for Brigid to bless as she comes by that will give the wearer protection. 
  • Leave out a bowl of milk, butter, salt, for Brigid to bless as she comes by.  Leave out a bowl of oats or blessed food.  If you leave out seeds, these will be blessed for Spring Sowing.
  • Food may include freshly churned butter and braided bread. (Brigid was known as a cowherd and also a beekeeper).  Making some sort of bread with honey may also be appropriate.
  • Snowdrops and dandelions, white and yellow, might be festive for your table with white or green candles and your Brigid’s crosses. 

 

February 2nd is Candlemas, and this is traditionally the day that celebrates the ritual cleansing of Mary after the birth of Jesus and also when Mary presented the infant Jesus in the temple as according to Jewish tradition.   Simeon called Jesus a light, thus tying Him to this day.   There are some stories that say Mary was uncomfortable about presenting Jesus in the temple and the attention that this would bring, and Saint Brigid walked ahead of Mary with a crown of lighted candles in order to divert attention from Mary and Jesus.  Some sources also say that Brigid wore a crown of candles in order to divert attention from Jesus when Herod’s soldiers were hunting Him.  Therefore, Candlemas is celebrated as a festival of lights and also is seen as a day to celebrate the lights of Saint Brigid and her role in helping Mary and Jesus.

“All Year Round” always has such a nice way of putting things.  The authors write here:  “At the beginning of February, when the infant light of spring is greeted thankfully by the hoary winter earth, it seems fitting we should celebrate a candle Festival  to remember that moment when the Light of the World was received into the Temple, when the old yielded to the new.”  Indeed, this day in Eastern churches is “The Meeting” – the festival of the old meeting the new.

Candlemas is the day the Church officially blesses the candles for the year. People used to also put candles around the beehives that they had on this day. 

Of course, Candlemas is also Groundhog’s Day in the United States, and there is much weather lore surrounding that event.  There is also lore surrounding weather and Candlemas in general.  “Festivals, Families and Food” recounts this weather verse:

“If Candlemas Day be fair and bright

Winter will take another flight.

If Candlemas Day be cloud and rain

Winter is gone and will not come again.”

Here are a few ways to celebrate Candlemas:

  • Make candles, of course.  Earth Candles are lovely if  your ground is not frozen – essentially you dig holes, put in a  weighted wick and melted beeswax and help give light to the coming Spring.
  • Making floating candles are nice (there are instructions in “All Year Round”) and dipping candles is a lovely way to spend the afternoon of Candlemas.
  • This is also a great day to make your Nature Table look more toward Spring.  The first flowers, pussywillows or catkins, all those things bring us toward the season of Lent.  Also a great time to make some small flower fairies for your Nature Table and put them out.  There are instructions in “All Year Round” and also in “The Nature Corner”.
  • “Mrs. Sharp’s Traditions” suggests enjoying a candlelit dinner and reading a short story after dinner by candlelight. 
  • Crepes or pancakes are traditional for breakfast.

Many blessings in your celebrations,

Carrie

Blog Round-Up

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Lovey has a new site with some interesting things on it….See here:

http://loveyfinkelstein.blogspot.com/

Nice to have you back, Lovey! 

Here are two mothers that recently implemented some things I have written about with success; thought you all might like a peek:

http://plattdiscoverycottage.com/blog/2010/01/28/negative-children/

and here:  http://mommyerin.blogspot.com/2010/01/random-bits_22.html

Eileen has a very heartfelt post here about Waldorf Afterschooling, and the agony that often goes into a decision about whether to send our children to school or to homeschool:  http://eileensplace.blogspot.com/

There is always something beautiful over at Are So Happy:  http://aresohappy.squarespace.com/   and here at Uncommon Grace:  http://uncommongrace.typepad.com/uncommongrace/  and here at That Artist Woman:  http://thatartistwoman.blogspot.com/  and over here at Catherine’s: 

http://catherine-et-les-fees.blogspot.com/

I also like Melisa Nielsen’s blog here:  http://waldorfjourney.typepad.com/a_journey_through_waldorf/   and Annette’s blog here:  http://natural-childhood.blogspot.com/   and  glimpsing into the lives of the Tan family:  http://syrendell.blogspot.com/

I try not to  stop to look at other people’s blogs daily, because that is too much time on the computer for me and I get sucked into Rabbit Trails (and Rabbit Holes that I can’t get out of!)  I really only have enough time to sweep through email and write a bit, but I really do appreciate all the beautiful and informative things people put on their blogs and I appreciate all of you who make this blog one of your few daily stops as you get on with living and doing!

Many blessings and In Much Gratitude,

Carrie

Joy For January: Respect For Your Partner

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You might be wondering what “joy” has to do with “respect”, but I think that for most men, being respected within their own home leads to joy for them.  Men love to fix problems, they like to be the One Who Saves The World From Destruction, and they like to look good whilst they are doing it!

But here is the rub, right?  Most mothers I know spend much more time reading, researching, speaking with other mothers about parenting, observing children of different ages than Dad, who may be off at work all day.  We want to share what we have learned with Dad, and some of our ideas can be different or strange to him.  So what is Dad’s role in all this and how do we make him feel respected?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, about how some families have a structure where the roles for “work” are fairly rigid (ie, the mother takes care of the house, the father works outside the home) and how some families have more fluid roles between mothers and fathers…..So how do we balance these roles in relation to parenting, homeschooling, and all the while providing our spouse with some joy through respect?  A tall order in many ways!

We are coming up on 18 years of marriage, so I would like to think I have a few things to share on this.

  • I think one thing is to have respect for your spouse in front of your children.  Yes, we probably all disagree in front of the children, but I think providing an overall attitude that Dad knows what he is doing is beneficial.  He may do it differently than you, but that doesn’t mean he is wrong.  If you don’t like what he is doing, can you talk about it later not in front of the kids?  If that is possible!
  • I think it really is okay to say, “Go ask your father.”  🙂 I know that sounds corny, but  think how many decisions you make in regards to your child all day long and give Dad a chance too!
  • What are the top things that irritate your husband?  Does it drive him crazy to come home to a house with toys everywhere?  Does he need some quiet to transition to being home?  Some things are just inevitable when one lives with young children, but at the same time, instead of just brushing these things aside, perhaps take them under consideration and see if you can meet some of Dad;s needs or even wants even part of the time.  Happy Dad!
  • Okay, ahem, how is your intimacy?  Men connect emotional intimacy through the physical.  That part of your life really should be a priority.  Enough said. 🙂
  • Do you have a rhythm for your weekend?  A lot of mothers comment that they love having Dad home, but the weekends are a bit crazy.  If you could  sit down together and plan out what needs to happen on a weekend that might really help.  For example,  if you need time alone when that will happen, if Dad needs time alone when that will happen?    Do you plan anything fun together as a family?
  • Dads don’t go through the same  hormonal swings we do with pregnancy, birth, lactation.  I find many Dads, especially first-time Dads,  really do miss their wives a bit as they adjust to parenthood.  Do you ever get to spend time with just your spouse?  Even if it is early in the AM, or later in the PM, it is worth cultivating that intimate time!  It seems like some mothers/fathers put their relationship last when they have small children (and babies and toddlers  have such  serious needs to be met), but as your child grows it seems partners should be able to talk after your children go to bed!  And finish sentences!
  • Does Dad have a part in your homeschool?  What strengths and talents does Dad have that he could teach the children?  It is really fabulous to hear small children who think their Dad is the strongest, fastest, smartest.
  • When does Dad interact with the children and care for them?  Dads need to be around for the little things in order for children to trust them with the big things.  That in itself builds respect.

I know this post sounds hopelessly old-fashioned, but one day your children will be grown up and gone.  At that point, I really want you and your spouse to be looking across the breakfast  table at each other in love. 

Marriage is such a wonder and a joy.  I have no doubt that my Beloved Creator made my husband just for me.  I hope you feel the same way about your spouse as well!

Live in Joy Together Today,

Carrie