Betty Staley entitles the chapter about this age range, “Trying to Organize Our Lives,” and discusses how around the age of 28 many of us feel it is time to become more conscious about our lives, our decision-making, our plans and goals for the future.

She talks about for some people how around age 30, some men realize already they are having more physical limitation than in their twenties and some women notice their bodies are changing.  I personally was curious about this from the perspective that we are certainly living longer than in the time of Rudolf Steiner, so I wondered how many of you found this to be true.  I have heard more women comment to me about their bodies changing and about it being harder to lose weight and such closer to the age of 40 than 30.  I wonder also if this is because so many of us are delaying childbearing until our 30s.  Please leave a comment in the comment box and share your experience.

Betty Staley writes that there are not only physical changes to be reckoned with, but changes within the way we relate to others. She writes, “The bold confidence of our twenties starts giving way to more sensitive awareness of ourselves.  We may no longer be satisfied by just relying on our feelings:  we become more inward, perhaps more subdued.  It is time to become realistic and practical, to take stock of what are we doing and organize our time.”

She talks about how we use our critical intellect to help us organize things, but how this can also be something that pierces and wounds the people around us as we step back and see more and more faults and imperfections and become cold and critical.  We have to work hard in this stage to look not just objectively at others, but also at ourselves.  How do we learn to appreciate other people?  How do we develop concern and compassion for others that transcends our own feelings of woundedness and loneliness?

The thirties can be a positive time of life as things settle down, become calmer, become more focused.  It can be a time to look deep within one’s self at one’s current situation.    “There can be a conflict here between our previous dreams and ideals, and present realities.  How can we realize both?”

Typically there are no easy answers to this question.  Men in particular can have competing desires and wishes.  Daniel Levinson writes about the ages of 21-35 being the “Onward and Upward Phase” for men.  He writes:

“Fatherhood is not the all-important role in a man’s life.  His starring role as he sees it during the Onward and Upward years is that of the promising young man on his way up.  He has important tasks to accomplish.  He is driven by the need for achievement.”

Betty Staley writes that this can be an age where many friendships break apart, and there can be loneliness.  She also writes about the importance of having a mentor and building relationships with friends who have similar values to you.   Do you have a mentor in the areas of parenting and homemaking?  This could be something important if you are in this age range of 28-35 years.   

Rudolf Steiner saw the period of age 30-33 as analogous to the last three years of the life of Jesus Christ, often a period of being in the “valley of the shadow of death.”  Perhaps renewal is around the corner if we can progress past the challenges of this phase:

“The great inner challenge during this phase from 28-35 is to transform critical judgment into thoughtful consideration, allowing emotions to ripen into feelings; to take more time to make decisions, and to bring to the light of the mind and warmth of the heart together in a more conscious way.”

This has implications for both marriage and motherhood.  For mothers in this age range, Betty Staley writes about the importance of strengthening themselves during this time.  She writes of the importance of having private time everyday for “inward activity”.  She also writes about the importance of learning how not to use the sharp-edged intellect of this phase to judge our partners and spouses. 

She writes on page 130 that we do not need to explain or apologize for the things our spouses do because it is not our place to judge, nor do we know our mate so very well that we need to protect other people from his or her faults.  “A point comes in a relationship- and in this case it can be in a close friendship as well as in a marriage – when we let go.  We no longer ask, Why am I with this person?  We no longer add up the irritations, marking them in some invisible account book.  The moment arrives when all that disappears and we acknowledge he is our partner or friend, and accept him totally.”

When people marry in their thirties instead of their twenties, then neither person has formed the other.  The ideas and habits of each person are more set, that as partners they tend to respect one another but humor and tolerance are needed.  More freedom is needed in some ways.  She writes that second marriages often have these characteristics as well.  She also talks about the research showing people born after 1966 are tending to study until age 30 or live at home for longer periods, and how this may postpone the entrance into adulthood by ten years.

A very full chapter with lots of food for thought.

Thanks for reading,

Carrie

Here is a peek into some developmental characteristics of this seven-year cycle:

Betty Staley writes, “In our twenties we often live in the intensity of impulse rather than through feelings which have been tempered by thought.  Steiner calls this time the period of the Sentient Soul.  It is a time when young people  are building up  experiences and meeting the world with vigor and enthusiasm, a time of enjoying sensations and pursuing adventures, of dreaming into the future and being full of hope and confidence.”

She mentions in our twenties we usually do one of two things:  what we think we should, or we rebel against what is expected.  Usually we only stand on our own two feet, with our own thoughts and understanding the results of our actions more when we are in our late twenties.

“The mood of this 21-28 period is one of egotism.  We are the center of our thoughts, and we feel satisfied when we fulfill our personal goals and objectives.”

On page 81, Betty Staley mentions marriage in the twenties as often being difficult because we lack life experience.  She talks about the hidden qualities that can occur as a wife, homemaker, and mother in our twenties (although I think many of us experienced this when we became mothers!):

“The young woman who is trying to approach life consciously can find her time at home with a child or children a maturing experience.  If she can take a broad view of the responsibilities she has, she can see that this part of her life poses her with challenges in self-development.  It is easy for her to get “pulled out of herself” into constant activity, but she can work to focus herself.  Taking care of young children and all the household details is a very grounding experience. She has to come to terms with details, with  time-tables, with establishing a routine, with being concerned about others, with establishing an atmosphere in the home.  All of this presents an opportunity for growth.”

She also goes into significant detail about the changes men face during this time period as they face whether or not marriage and children live up to the vision they created in their head, financial worries, the concern and thought that he needs “to make it” in his career by age 35.

She also talks about the crisis of the late twenties in working women who are wondering if career or children is the right path for them; and also the crisis of the late twenties faced by couples who married in their early twenties.  She writes that, “The inner work of maturing is often cut short by early marriage.  This may seem contradictory since the young people are having to deal with issues of responsibility:  compromising with each other, putting the needs of a child before their own, facing serious responsibilities – while unmarried friends are doing what they like, when they like.  Dealing with such situations does bring a sense of responsibility, but it doesn’t necessarily bring inner growth.  We are more likely to slip into expected roles without thinking.  Our own personalities have not yet developed independently, so we bring an immature “self” to the relationship rather than one which has learned to stand on its own, solve problems and know  what it wants by passing through a necessary phase of self-centredness.”

Lest you think the author is against marriage in one’s twenties, she does write that these marriages often work, but many times come under great strain as the people within the marriage mature, and how it takes strong commitment and desire to hold the marriage together.

What are your thoughts? Leave them in the comment box below!

Interesting reading,

Carrie

The ages of 42- 63 are about building spiritual maturity.

Ages 42-49

• Much of what happens in this time period depends upon if you hit the crisis described in Part 2 of this series in the cycles of ages 35-42.  If you already experienced crisis, this period after crisis could be a time of productivity, innovation, imagination, new strength. A time where careers are reshaped and where you really know what you want to do in life.
• It can also be a time of greater patience, new friendships, new-found confidence.

Ages 49-56

• Increased flexibility and humor than in the past.
• A time to remember the past as we gain perspective.
• Wisdom prevails.

Ages 56-63

• Another new burst of energy, with many earlier conflicts now resolved.
• Enjoyment of respect and confidence.
• Living from within our own maturity, out of the depth of our own experience.
• In this phase, we go inward for insight.

Ages 63 and Beyond

• Betty Staley writes that this is “a continuation of previous phases.  The processes of development which began at 35 continue and mature.”

We will be taking a closer look at each one of the seven-year cycles from age 21-63 in the coming weeks.

Looking forward to delving further into the notion of human biography with you all,

Carrie

The ages from 21-42 are for the development of soul maturity, psychological maturity.

Ages 21-28

• The “I’” incarnates more fully.
• Strong emotional life, excitement, impulsivity, sociability, adventure, sensuality.
• Memory reaches its peak.
• A time to prepare for a career and to gather experiences.
• Betty Staley also writes about marriage when both partners are in their early 20s and how this often works but can be a difficult road as both partners do not have a bank of life experiences to draw on.
• Men during this time period are often focused on work, marriage and family and trying to set and achieve goals “he thinks he deserves by the time he is 35.”

Ages 28-35

• The “I” begins to enter the soul-life more deeply and penetrates thinking.  We begin to experience life through our thoughts and our thinking.
• We feel the need to organize our lives.
• We regard things more objectively than before, but at times our objective thinking can also separate us from life – if we judge everything around us, we can become cold, distant, critical, self-righteous.
• In this phase we tend to think that thinking can solve all of our problems.

Ages 35-42 – Going into consciousness

• A time of strength, ambition; but also of emptiness and loneliness.
• Life taken in through our senses, through our bodies, does not excite us the same way it used to.
• Our natural spirituality fades and we can feel overwhelmed by life
• Life takes on a routine quality, and yet we can experience more and more problems than before.
• Much of what used to bring contentment no longer does.
• We become critical of causes, philosophies, religion that used to appeal to us.

Whew!  I think when we are in the 35-42 year phase, we have to be particularly careful to NOT pass on our adult baggage and criticism to our small children.  I have seen over and over parents of this age frame to have difficulty working within the Waldorf framework with the spiritual elements because they themselves are going through a period of disillusionment with spirituality.  Please make sure to not shove your 8-year old into the 35-42 year old phase  by putting your “adult stuff” on them!

We will talk in detail about each of these seven-year cycles, but next we will look at the last part of this overview of the seven-year cycles that covers ages 42- 63 (and beyond), a time of developing spiritual maturity.

Till next time,

Carrie

Here is a summary of each of the seven-year cycles, and then in future posts we will be delving into each cycle more deeply:

Ages Birth – 21 is seen as a PHYSICAL time.

Birth – Age 7

• The birth of the physical body is paramount
• Children of this age are one big sense organ, an eye, that deeply perceives all the sensory impression received.  Betty Staley writes, “These impressions influence the physical body: if they are quiet and soft, the child can breathe more rhythmically and relax; but when children’s immature nervous system try to process startling noises, flickering lights, and quick visual impressions, it is too much for them.  They can become exhausted, tense and afraid.” (page 61)
• Children of this age learn through imitation
• Children in this cycle  learn to be upright, to walk, to understand and speak ‘their mother tongue”. 
• This cycle is divided into thirds; around the third year children experience their own being and start referring to themselves as “I”
• Children in this cycle are still rather “asleep”; sensory impressions experienced now are more inward and form the basis for conscious ideas later on
• Children enter the world through their will and the movement of the physical body.  This movement forms the basis for what they will FEEL in the next stage
• The organs and the physical body is being completed, which culminates in the loss of the primary dentition.

Age 7- Age 14

• The physical body continues to develop, with the adult teeth starting to come through
• Consciousness further awakens from a state of sleep to a more dream-like condition
• The inner soul-life intensifes
• In the earlier period, the organs and physical body were being completed , but now attention is turned to “the soul as powers of imagination and thought, as image-forming activity.”
• Children’s thinking at this age is influenced by strong personal feelings, personal experiences and expressed through IMAGINATION.

If we divide this stage into thirds:

• We have the 7 year old where children have many of the same tendencies as the earlier stage where they learn by imitation and see nature as alive and connected to themselves. 
• At around 8 and 1/3, imitation becomes less strong and the child’s need for almost constant movement can begin to be reigned in.  There is a beginning of separation here, the nine-year old change,  that shows itself through new feelings – uncertainty, fear, anger that things are unfair, feeling they are ugly or disliked or unwanted.  The child does not feel connected with the world so much as distanced, separated, unhappy and restless.  The period of 8 and 1/3 to 10 and 2/3 years of age is really the heart of childhood in many ways though, and the children of this stage have a strong sense of nature, love of wild places, a love of myths and legends, they play well, are well-coordinated, their imaginations are vivid and alive.
• Around 11 and 2/3 the body begins to change with signs of puberty appearing.  The girls are about two years ahead of the boys.  Children’s feelings at this stage become more connected with their individuality.  Special friends are very important.  A new capacity for understanding cause and effect develops and they are more objective about the world.  They are better able to understand why and how things happen.  Their strong physical resemblance to their parents starts to wane, and their individuality becomes more pronounced.  The changes of puberty echo the change of teeth which occurred at the end of the first seven-year cycle.
• The forces released in puberty are now available for the next phase

Age 14- Age 21

• The physical body goes through great hormonal change as the adult body takes form.
• Feeling life is erratic, chaotic, with highs and lows
• The creative power which worked on the physical body from birth until age 7 and then worked on the feeling life of the soul from age 7 to 14 is now at work on THINKING.    This is when young people become critical of everything, questioning everything, rejecting things
• The adolescent is learning how to use their thinking to control their feelings and will-impulses.
• Thinking becomes more inward, more conceptual and abstract
• Around the seventeenth year, there is a glimpse of the “higher self”, a sense of purpose and meaning in life
• Character is forming

If one understands the view of the seven-year life cycles, one can see how everything in Waldorf education is designed to match or meet where the child is developmentally.  Waldorf education is also designed to preserve the health of the child for later seven-year cycles.

Next post we will talk about the age of 21-42, which is the development of the psychological or SOUL maturity.

Thanks,

Carrie

I am here amidst the Caribbean blue sea and skies rapidly devouring a wonderful book I received from my sister-in-law for Christmas called “Tapestries:  Weaving Life’s Journey” by Betty Staley.  If you have ever been intrigued by the Waldorf notion of “biography” ,  this is a very accessible resource to look at seven-year-cycles across the continuum of life.

“Tapestries” was inspired by Betty Staley’s interviews with women and men in Latvia.  The Forward to the book talks about how Betty Staley started this project, “As she listened to their life stories she realized that they illustrated  the seven-year life phases and revealed universal patterns:  a human tapestry which went beyond cultural, racial, gender and ethnic boundaries.”

Betty Staley writes in the Prologue, “We are born into a physical body with its magnificent design of skeletal structure, muscles, organs, hormones, senses, and nervous system.  We are received into a family with complex interrelationships of sisters, brothers, mother and father.  Our soul unfolds as we live in the world and meet other people.  Our lives are embedded in a process of time, so that we undergo change from one phase to another, experience soul struggles.”  She talks about how the human spirit can be our foundation to decide how we work to transform ourselves, and shape the opportunities we are given, how we change things about ourselves that we decide to change toward becoming the highest expression of ourselves.

This book looks at life cycles and human rhythms as influenced by the work of Rudolf Steiner and has eloquent and thought-provoking passages regarding relationships, aging, love and growth.

I will be sharing some thoughts with you over the next week or so as we explore the anthroposophical journey of the human being from ages 21 onward.

Please do join me,

Carrie