How we as mothers hold our feelings steady impacts our family….Feelings can be like waves of emotion, but positive feelings can also have a quality of raying out to envelop those around us…
An action such as the meditative drawing of running forms before bed can help demonstrate joy and positivity, ever moving from us toward our families…
Ever striving, always working on our own attitudes…
Many Blessings this Holy Week,
Carrie
It is the most wonderful time of the year! No, Virginia, it is not Christmas, but it is planning time as all the boxes start to arrive in the mail. There are lists to be made, supplies to be ordered, rhythms to be tackled, and prayers to be made regarding what to be involved in outside the home.
Sounds like a lot doesn’t it? It can be for me too!
A few simple steps always help me… Continue reading
This chapter begins with the premise that healthy marriages have two people who are emotionally intelligent. By this, the authors mean that each person in the marriage stores important information about their spouse: they remember important history, know who their spouse’s friends are, their spouse’s fears, likes, dislikes, anxieties, quirks, joys, passions. The authors call this having a detailed “love map”.
The authors cite one of the major causes of marital divorce is actually the birth of the first child. “Sixty-seven percent of couples in our newlywed study underwent a precipitous drop in marital satisfaction the first time they became parents. But the remaining 33 percent did not experience this drop – in fact, about half of them saw their marriage improve……What separated these two groups? You guessed it: The couples whose marriages thrived after the birth had detailed love maps from the get-go….” Continue reading
I found some interesting links to share with you all this week.
First, I found this free 58 paged document that describes all the how’s and why’s of chalkboard drawing in Waldorf Education and provides samples of chalkboard drawings for grades one through eight here: http://www.antiochne.edu/ed/waldorf/projectJohnsonCatie.pdf Continue reading
Originally, this post was about positivity. I wanted to update this with a bit about meeting ourselves, those around us, and especially our children with love and with delight, pleasure and humor, and yes, with a certain positivity.
Kim John Payne writes eloquently about the “soul fever” the children of today are experiencing. HIs recent article published by The Huffington Post about “soul fever” is here: http://www.runyt.com/2012/03/12/kim-john-payne-why-the-ritalin-debate-is-asking-the-wrong-question-healing-our-kids-soul-fever-with-simplicity/
I was thinking about us, as adults, and the concept of “soul fever.” Continue reading
If you are coming in late to Waldorf homeschooling or feel overwhelmed and overrun by dogma, I have a solution for you! Please read the lectures given by Rudolf Steiner compiled in “The Renewal of Education.” This set of lectures, given to a group of Swiss public educators only eight months after the first Waldorf school formed, is so accessible. The foreword is written by a favorite Waldorf educator of mine, Eugene Schwartz, in which he compares and contrasts Waldorf Education to John Dewey and Maria Montessori’s work and sheds light on the hallmarks of Waldorf Education: the self –renewal and self-development of the teacher, the balance that feeling provides in education, and the approach of Waldorf education to the holistic child.
Waldorf education approaches the child from four different avenues. Continue reading
Forgiveness is part of the human journey; I meet so many people who are so upset that they might be wrong and that they might not be perfect.
Yet, making mistakes, asking forgiveness from others and forgiving ourselves is what shapes our souls.
It changes us and leaves marks on us.
It exposes our flaws for what they are….
And hopefully leads us to balance; not perfection and not “doing it right.”
Changing forms in clay is an exercise in the will, just as living life often is. I have made a lot of mistakes in life. This used to upset me, but the older I get the more I can see the mistakes for what they are, the help that they are, the learning I obtain from those mistakes.
I am grateful.
Many blessings in your modeling work,
Carrie
(Photograph courtesy of Samantha Fogg of work+play positive dog training at http://workplaydogs.com/)
I love this photograph because it reminds me that beautiful things are still happening in some of nature’s most quiet and dark seasons; just as sometimes we personally have to go through dark periods to come out into new growth. Part of the process of creating your family often leads to acknowledging things you would like to do differently; things you would like to be better, and opportunities for a positive and beautiful new beginning.
In the process of acknowledging what you would like to change or do differently, I hope you take the time to see all the things that you do right. I also hope you forgive yourself for any unrealistic expectations that you were harboring about parenting and family life or homeschooling. I hear from so many mother who seem to be disappointed in themselves.
I think forgiveness is a huge part of a mindful path in parenting and in homeschooling. I have written some posts on guilt and forgiveness in the past that I would like to share with you here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/27/forgiving-ourselves/ and here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/22/waldorf-guilt/ and here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/14/is-it-too-late/.
Self-forgiveness is often a process where one has to accept and forgive themselves for being HUMAN and not perfect. It is part of life to be “not perfect”, to be authentic and real, flaws and all. We keep striving, and most of all, we start doing and trying. It is not enough to read it in a book, or to gather and collect information..you must jump in and start in order to capture your own will and affect real and meaningful change.
So I ask you tonight……
What are your wounds that require self-forgiveness?
How do you acknowledge disappointment, loss?
How can your inner work help you in the journey of self-forgiveness?
Parenting is not perfection, it is a journey. Your child is not a psychological extension of you. I hear parents worry all the time that their child will grow up and resent the choices they have made; that Waldorf homeschooling will not be “enough” and that the child will blame them when they are in college and realize not every single thing was covered for them in their homeschooling education, etc.
Huh.
I don’t know about you, but I attended one of the best public school systems in New York. I have gone on to college to earn two degrees, and there were many subjects and ideas that were not covered in my public school career. If I knew everything coming out of high school, why would I need or want to go on to college? And then there were some things I learned in high school that made so much more sense in college –precalculus and physics come to mind!
There is always going to be some website or person who espouses the horrors of some parenting decision you have made –whether that is extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, homeschooling, Waldorf homeschooling. We are all different people, and I think it is okay that people have different views. Our views also change over time. Part of being human means that we continue to develop until the day we pass from this earth. We learn and we grow. I find comfort in that, and I hope you do as well. Sometimes knowing you are doing the very best you can Right Now In This Moment is plain powerful confidence!
We can still be confident even if we are not perfect. We still have more years of living than our children, we can still strive to be listeners, to be patient, to communicate without sarcasm or blame. We can exude a quiet confidence and strength in parenting even without perfection.
Forgive yourself, be easy with yourself, and most of all love yourself. I believe in a Creator, and in the Creator’s eyes, you are His Beloved!
Blessings and love,
Carrie
It takes time and space to develop; much like the time and space it takes to create a beautiful fluid painting. The possibilities are endless; mindful consideration is called for.
We look at all the elements that create family life and work in an effort to blend them together:
Roaring, racing red that gives us form:
Shy, quiet blue that moves outward and permeates the home and family:
Extroverted, excited yellow, spiraling ever outward bringing fun and joy, the polarities of different things bringing balance to the family:
Until a beautiful, mindful family culture is created where individuals can unfold and grow…including the adults of the family.
Take a few moments this week to bring some fluidity and creativity into your life, into this business of parenting and creating a family life. I can’t wait to see what you all come up with.
Much love,
Carrie
Many of you wonder about the discipline of small children from a Waldorf perspective. Here is an intriguing post by Rebecca who got to observe a Waldorf Kindergarten classroom and her observations on how fighting, tattling and not taking turns was handled by the seasoned teachers: http://bendingbirches2010.blogspot.com/2012/02/nursery-observation.html
Excellent.
The new book out by Master Waldorf Kindergarten teacher, Stephen Spitalny. Here is a link. The link also includes the many wonderful articles and stories he has written. http://chamakanda.com/. I am reading this book right now, and it is wonderful. More on that later. You can read an interview with Mr. Spitalny here: http://thewonderofchildhood.com/2012/02/spotlight-on-early-childhood-steve-spitalny/
Waldorf Student Art Calendars for sale from the Chicago Waldorf School: http://chicagowaldorf.org/bulletin/waldorf-student-art-calendars
An article about why attachment parenting is not permissive parenting: http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/09/23/its-not-called-permissive-parenting/
Enjoy!
Many blessings,
Carrie
The Parenting Passageway 