Investment: the act of devoting time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result.
I was thinking about this the other day – the way we invest in our children. Did you ever think of parenting in that way? What you spend your time on with your children matters, because you are investing in them.
Perhaps the harder part of parenting, though, is waiting for our investment to grow, and wondering along the way what constitutes a “worthwhile result.” Maybe a “worthwhile result” might not be seen until our children are off and on their own as functioning adults? Or, if our children and teens are having trouble does that mean our investment wasn’t worthy? Parenting is so hard in that way – so many years invested, so much time, and yet perhaps no clear idea of our impact on our children’s lives until they are out and on their own. It seems a long time to wait!
I want to encourage you today that everything you are doing for your children to guide them, model for them, teach them, talk to them with compassion and to show them how to be compassionate in the world are true success stories in every moment. Show them the wonder of life and its goodness. Show them where and how to make a difference in themselves and the world. Show them how to listen and be still and to learn to do what is right for them and how to respect others. We don’t have to wait until our children are grown to see the powerful impact we have as parents on our children’s lives. Instead, we live it every day and in the moments we are together!
So, keep on with all the beautiful things you do to teach and guide and listen. Your time is worth this investment! You get your child once, and while the days are long, the years are short.
You might be thinking, well, I don’t think I have invested my time well. I can’t get that time back, and I am so sad. Life got in the way or I didn’t know how to invest my time in my children or I was so wounded by my own life I couldn’t do much more than what I was doing to survive….. I want to encourage you as well. You can begin today. Sometimes starting with rhythms around your mealtimes and bedtimes is very helpful. You might think that sounds like a tiny place to start, but I find we cannot model and talk about the big things if we cannot follow through on the little things that make up an ordinary day. A meal prepared by all, eaten all together with a blessing or inspirational verse, can set the stage for the deepest of conversations and the most intimate gathering of hearts.
If you are wrestling with big teenagers with big issues, you have to start somewhere. If there are truly big issues, sometimes you might need a big change or large jolt to the system – my favorite vehicle for that is actually to change the environment and go tent camping and hiking. There is something about being out in the woods, away from the constant interrupting of modern life, and the hours in a nature landscape of chirping birds and buzzing insects that helps a teenager to connect and talk.
Don’t give up! It is a long but worthy road to travel! I would love to hear where you are at in your family life. Leave me a comment below!
Many blessings and much love,
Carrie
The Parenting Passageway 
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Beautiful words. Thank you. Parenting is a slow rewarding journey, sometimes we don’t see the results of our hard work as it gets lost in the busyness of life, but when we stop and look it is there in plain sight.
So true, sustainablemum! Thank you for your comment!!
Blessings, Carrie
Thank you. I really really needed to read this today. I have been parenting two very different children, one is extremely sensitive and spirited and holding space and guiding him can be really hard. I sometimes wonder how he will move through the world when he reaches his teen years and I wonder if what I have done will be enough to set him up for success. I have poured everything I have into these two, and still some days I feel that I fall short. But looking at it in this perspective gives me hope. I read all of your posts and I always take something away to ponder, work on or celebrate. I appreciate your time and gift of words… Karen
I am so glad you feel there is something to celebrate. Parenting is long and can be so hard. And the reality is that some children walk a harder and longer path than others seem to. You are doing a great job! Many blessings, Carrie
Hi Carrie,
I am a first-time dad of my now 20 month old and I am really grateful to have stumbled on your blog while Googling a Gabor Maté book. I look forward to getting the most out of your writings.
You mentioned the parents that might be feeling like they’ve missed opportunities with their kids and now it’s too late. I feel like I’m on the path to feeling that way because I don’t know what I should be doing to best engage with my son. My wife is a stay-at-home mom and is searching for the balance (if there is one yet) between doing things around the house and engaging our son in ways that will produce the best fruit. She does a much better job than me, but when I come home and relieve my wife to do things freely, I find that I’m just entertaining him pretty much the entire time. I know that’s a valuable thing and that it is building relationship, but I often wonder if there’s more I could be doing. If there is, I don’t know what. On evenings that it’s just me and my son, I attempt (albeit inconsistently) to segment our time into reading a book, play, walk around the neighborhood, more play, then fix dinner. What usually happens is play, more play, sneak a few minutes to veg on my phone while he is playing, then fix dinner.
Anyways, that’s where I’m at in a nutshell. Would love to hear any thoughts/feelings. Otherwise, I look forward to reading on!
Hi Jordan! So glad you are here! I love the idea of rhythm and segmenting your time and applaud you for thinking in that rhythmic way which is perfect for toddlers. One thing I think that really helps with toddlers is to think about what they can help with around the house, which I know sounds crazy, but they usually love it. Here is a post about meaningful work for toddlers: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/06/28/guest-post-meaningful-work-for-toddlers/ and here is the follow up post: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/06/29/more-about-how-to-create-meaningful-work-for-toddlers/. The other post you might find some ideas is this one: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/01/06/waldorf-in-the-home-with-the-one-and-two-year-old/. I think play is great, and I think Dads often bring a fantastic different type of play than moms bring, and adding in nursery rhymes and helping with dinner is fantastic! Sounds like you are doing a great job! Blessings, Carrie
Very nice article! I enjoyed a lot Reading it. Thanks for sharing with us!
This is so well written and so wonderful. Thank you so much for this! Look forward to more of your articles.