Most children need a calm and secure home life in order to thrive. Children who have extra challenges such as being highly sensitive, higher needs, AD/HD, etc really need this. The main question parents ask me in relation to this idea is:
How do I get this? I want it but I don’t seem to be able to get it!
There are easy steps you can take toward taming chaos in the family.
- Find the triggers for everyone in the family. Sometimes we can readily identify what our children’s triggers are, from clothes to routine changes to foods to light and sound, but we also need to think about the triggers of the adults in the house. If we understand what all of the triggers in the family are, we can more easily all live in peace together.
- If the child is out of control, we don’t add fuel to the fire and ramp it up – we provide a calm response. Be the calm. Inner work of any form – prayer, meditation, yoga, physical exercise/walking meditation, being in nature – all helps us be the calm.
- We don’t blame the other adults in the house. We enlist each other’s strengths, we give each other outs if things are getting intense, and we work as a team. Some families need counseling to really grasp this as a technique.
- We provide a home environment that is calming and secure: we take care of addictions and baggage, we provide balance, we provide a clean environment that is reasonably orderly, we provide routine and boundaries. We provide love and connection and listening.
- We take care of the basic levels of calm by providing adequate hours for sleep, healthy meals, and really monitoring the effects of sleep and different kinds of foods on our children.
- Lastly, if our child is school-aged, we do our best to find educational settings that match what our children need.
- If we are drowning, we get help. It can be a trusted family member or friend to help you organize, it can be that you ask for help with meals, it can be that you take time off of homeschooling and deal with the physical space in your home. Ask for help and be open to receiving it.
I would love to hear how you tamed your own chaos!
Blessings and love,