Are you in a dark place? Divorce, death of a parent or spouse, lack of employment or other financial woes, older teens into things that are just plain challenging, something else?
Yes. I have been there. It can be tough. It can be dark. It can be lonely, especially if people really haven’t been through what you are going through.
And it will be okay. Life is beautiful and life is messy. They just go hand in hand.
Lean into it. Sometimes there are no quick fixes. It just takes time. It just takes healing.
Shelter your younger children as you see fit, but certainly teens deserve to know that life is messy, people struggle, and yes, you can come out on the other side. This is called resilience. Life is not the the perfect spot in the home that people post on social media. It is more like the picture of all the dirty dishes piled in the sink that were never posted.
Lean into each other. When darkness and depression fall, lean into family and the friends you can who are understanding and compassionate.
Take care of yourself in whatever capacity that means to you. For some, that means drawing the wagons in and becoming insulated with just immediate family and the closest of friends. For others, that means reaching out and getting help with the children, getting counseling, or getting a physical workup to help support the stress that they are experiencing. I don’t know what it looks like for you, but take care of yourself. If you feel like you are having thoughts of taking your own life, or that people would be better off without you and that you are a burden, or if you just need to talk to someone about what is going on in your life, text TALK to 741741.
Keep things simple. You may only be able to get one thing done a day. And that’s okay. This phase will not last forever and forever.
It will pass. It will be better. Sometimes life is just about hanging in and hanging on.
Blessings and love,
i hardly ever sit quietly and read through blogs i love, but today i did and this is the first thing i’ve read. im a mess lately, a lot of personal struggle i need to get through, and a lot of turmoil. reading this made me realize that taking time for self-care is OK. i will be OK.
Love to you, pinetree. The work is always hard, but always worth it in the end. Transforming is challenging, but we all go through it. Sending you love and prayers for comfort and peace. Blessings, Carrie
Thank you for this post, Carrie. A few years ago I was going thru a dark place, and yes, my husband, parents and siblings were critical in helping me get through. I also want to say that I discovered your blog during that time, and it GREATLY helped me reconnect to the light in myself and in life. Many of my evenings prayers of gratitude included, “Thank you God for Carrie. Keep blessing her & her blog in every way.” I have since discovered many more people, companies and movements who are bringing positive, life affirming, love centered impulses and resources into the world. This reconnection to what is good & awesome in the world was key in helping me rise back up. Thank you and your readers for shining light.
I am so happy to hear your story of coming out of the dark places.. And thank you so much for your kind words! Blessings and love, Carrie
Carrie, I have been reading your blog for around 4 yrs now. This post is so real. Its the dirty dishes and the messiness of life that can be just as beautiful as the perfect light shining on the perfect children in the perfect spot in the perfect house. I have learned that life is beautiful in all aspects of darkness and light. Your devotion to your family, your teaching, your inner work, and this blog have been nothing short of extraordinary. Im so grateful every time I see you pop into my inbox. Sometimes they are super relevant, and other times not (our kids are 10 and 7), but I always feel brought back to the simplicity of all things through your words and I so resonate with that. Thank you for being so REAL and helping some of us to focus on the important things that seem to be lost in todays world. You are a treasure, and Im so grateful for each and every post. Thank you
Karen Hughes Field
Thank you so much for your kind words, Karen! Many blessings and much love to you, Carrie