Elizabeth Foss is enjoying her first grandbaby, and I enjoyed her post regarding the days after birth here: http://www.elizabethfoss.com/reallearning/2014/05/in-praise-of-the-babymoon.html
I find it interesting if one looks on the Internet regarding “planning” a babymoon, most of the top posts have to do with planning some special time with a spouse prior to the arrival of a baby! This is baffling to me. Most attached parents, and parents who hold childbirth and the parenting of children in the most sacred terms, do not think of babymoon as a honeymoon getaway, but as a sacred time after a baby is born when life as a family with children begin.
Having a first baby, having multiples babies, all changes things. Nothing is or should be the same as it was, but perhaps not in the “inconvenienced” way general society assumes. I wrote some time ago about the joy of the first forty days after birth, and encouraged readers to slow down for an extended time after birth. Here is that original post: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/17/40-days-after-birth-and-beyond/.
There are many beautiful ways to prepare for the first forty days:
- Before you give birth, you could have a shower that is focused on receiving freezer meals so cooking can be kept to a minimum. There is a good list of meals that might be nourishing and replenishing to a post partum mother in the cookbooks published by La Leche League and some at this link: http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbsepoct06p220.html
- Plan to be home. Decide if you want guests to come over during these forty days or not.
- I believe I read in one of the Sears Family Library books the recommendation to stay in your pajamas or bathrobe so when people “drop by”, they will not stay as long because the subconscious message is that you are resting. For me, personally, I did that with our first child and found I didn’t want to do that with the subsequent children as well. For some reason, dressing that way made me feel isolated and depressed, but I have heard other mothers who love this!
- Arrange carefully selected help if you have older children. A post -partum doula can be a huge help.
- Get the health care that you deem helpful to you, which might include chiropractic care, massage, Maya Abdominal Massage (six weeks after a vaginal delivery or three months after a cesarean delivery), or help for post partum blues or depression
- Plan to focus on breastfeeding, sleep, and nourishing foods.
- Plan to limit computer and media consumption in general. Mothers who have just had an infant often report feeling “raw” emotionally when they hear traumatic things on the news, for example. Know your limits and what makes you feel peaceful.
- If you feel isolated, get support in the ways that make you feel best – this could be through family, friends, mental health professionals, your spiritual home, or through organizations that help parents adjust to life with children such as Attachment Parenting International or La Leche League.
Please share your favorite suggestions for a peaceful post-partum time.