31 Days to the Inner Rhythm of the Heart: Day Twenty-One

Our 31 days to the inner rhythm of the heart, the root foundation of a house of peace, is in progress.  In the vein of those who are setting a New Year’s intention with “one word”, I offer the word of today to you:  expert.  Read on for more….

Yesterday I was doing a little light (LOL) reading in the book “Core Curriculum for Lactation Consultant Practice.”  I have to re-certify my IBCLC credentials this summer, and am trying to get  a jump start on a little review.  One of the sentences I came across was this one, “If research does not exist, expert opinion should guide practice.”

It really got me to thinking about another realm of my life – parenting, (and even homeschooling, too, but I will save that for later). When we feel as if things are amiss in our families, it is all too easy to assume someone else has the answer for us.  In this digital age of instant answer, it is easy to post a question and get instant responses.

But, perhaps the real deal is that if we really believed that we are the experts on our own families, if we really felt as if being the expert meant the key was within us, would we be so quick to post?  If we really had a guiding philosophy to our family and a way we wanted to approach things, wouldn’t we take a few moments and just meditate on what was going on in our lives for a few minutes each day?  Maybe if we did this for a week before firing off a question, we would have the answer within ourselves.

I am not disrespectful of the fact that mothers provide tremendous support to each other, and I am so very grateful for the mothers who have mentored me along the way.  Most of my mother mentors have come from La Leche League, but I also have had mentors that were dear friends and each brought a beautiful piece I needed in the season of life where I was.  Nearly all my mentoring has occurred in person, and I feel so extremely lucky that way.   There are some voices on the Internet that I have also learned an awful lot from, and am grateful for those women as well – Elizabeth Foss is one of my favorites, along with some of the wise mothers who have been in Waldorf homeschooling for a very long time.  But I am also grateful for my faith, for being quiet, and those moments where I really could discern the answer within myself.  I think we all need the time to hear the expert within us.

So, gather the information, but realize you must filter it through your own expert lens for your own family. If someone says something that completely grates on you, don’t immediately discount it.  Perhaps ask yourself why it is so.  Is this an area you need to explore, or is it so far away from your philosophy that you can discount it easily?

Believe that you are the expert, and feel empowered that you have the answers for your family.   Find your own voice.



4 thoughts on “31 Days to the Inner Rhythm of the Heart: Day Twenty-One

  1. I love what you’ve written in this post. My own parenting journey has followed a path of transformation – from at first believing that someone else knew better than I did how I should care for my child to later learning how to believe in my own inherent wisdom on the matter (which has so much to do with observation as opposed to analysis). Something about getting out of the head and into the heart more. Thanks for this to richly ponder.

  2. Thanks Carrie. Great post. I think for all the advantages of the Internet there are also the disadvantages of wanting instant answers rather than pondering about things and as you say, reaching one’s own philosophy. Also it is coming to the realisation that all children are different and parents are (or should be) the expert on their own children. I think this is a lovely post for the Lentern period. I know I am writing here but as part of Lent I am trying to give up my attachment to the virtual world and sit quietly more just to think or read a proper book to see what answers are within.

  3. Thanks for this post, very powerful deep thoughtful and complete…(took me only a week to read 😉 Begin forwarded message:

    > From: The Parenting Passageway > Subject: [New post] Stopping Societal Violence > Date: 2 July 2014 2:50:15 AM AWST > To: cathdalle@yahoo.com.au > Reply-To: “The Parenting Passageway” > >

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