Our 31 days to the inner rhythm of the heart, the root foundation of a house of peace, is in progress. In the vein of those who are setting a New Year’s intention with “one word”, I offer the word of today to you: reconciliation. Read on for more……
If we can be open and willing to dig under our times of yelling, what would we find?
What would be our biggest and most fearful thing to find out about ourselves?
Maybe our list would read something like this:
That I am not a good parent.
That I am not a good person.
That I don’t deal with stress well.
That maybe I shouldn’t have had children. I don’t do well with adding anything on top of that and now my life is limited in a way I never foresaw.
That maybe I shouldn’t have a life in this amount of chaos and therefore I am a horrible person because I can’t seem to do any better.
That maybe I am not worthy to be much of anything and I really don’t deserve any goodness.
I have seen parents on both sides of this: parents who just beat themselves up for the smallest slip out of perfection; parents who cannot stand to not be perfect in every minute and at all times and must have “the answer” of how to do it right….and I have also seen the parents who really don’t seem to care that they are disconnected from their children, that their yelling and generally chaotic and rushed approach to parenting is killing the spirit of their child.
The truth lies in balance between these two extremes, and it also lies in reconciliation.
If the Divine Spirit flows in us, is indeed within us, and is within our child as well, how can we better find that and connect to that in our moments of stress? How can we forgive ourselves, and yet strive to not do these harmful and ineffectual behaviors anymore?
Reconciliation is an important key. Forgiveness of ourselves, forgiveness of our spouses, forgiveness of our children being children. Reconcile. Talk as a family. Vow to do better with the tools you will learn in these thirty-one days.
Most of all, find a partner to whom you can be accountable. Find a person who can be sympathetic in one sense, but also hold you accountable to stop yelling in the same breath. Start a journal today and keep track of the next five days: how often do you yell, what was the situation? How did things get back on track? Start to identify patterns. We all have them, and now is time to change.
Beautifully put! This identifies exactly where I am just now. Thank you for sharing your words of encouragement and challenging us to take a small step in moving toward awareness.
MUCH NEEDED…thank you …great big heartfelt thank you!!
I genuinely connected with your point about the divine spirit being inside of us and our children–YES! How can we stop the rising frustration and come back to that beautiful reality? I’m always trying to practice “pauses” which are little stalls between reactions and if I can create that itty bitty space, a moment’s pause, I can often reconnect with my children. Having read your words on the spirit within us and them truly inspires me to do this inner work…Thank you! Sheila
Just coming out of a dark month. Post-pardum meets winter.
Pressing on in baby steps. Not yelling at our 3 sweet children but such a struggle to add the joy that is so needed, craved by them. Added “fun break” to our vocab and seeking to make myself laugh….even if I have to fake it….a few times a day.
Giving grace for this recovery time.
Replacing the lies of “this makes you a bad mama” with truth of scripture and strength of encouragement from friends.
Congratulations on the new baby! Yes, time for joy and the truth that we are enough. We are amazing.
Carrie, I am finding myself reading this for the first time. Thank you!
What are the words of the day? Somehow they did not make it to this copy of your post. There is a space where they must have been put in a different format or highlighted, but the word itself is not there.
Hi There Michele! Yup, It was italicized and for some reason not visible, so I fixed it. Thank you for alerting me! The word is reconciliation!
Blessings and thank you for being here – Carrie