Our 31 days to the inner rhythm of the heart, the root foundation of a house of peace, is in progress. In the vein of those who are setting a New Year’s intention with “one word”, I offer the word of today to you: reconciliation. Read on for more……
If we can be open and willing to dig under our times of yelling, what would we find?
What would be our biggest and most fearful thing to find out about ourselves?
Maybe our list would read something like this:
That I am not a good parent.
That I am not a good person.
That I don’t deal with stress well.
That maybe I shouldn’t have had children. I don’t do well with adding anything on top of that and now my life is limited in a way I never foresaw.
That maybe I shouldn’t have a life in this amount of chaos and therefore I am a horrible person because I can’t seem to do any better.
That maybe I am not worthy to be much of anything and I really don’t deserve any goodness.
I have seen parents on both sides of this: parents who just beat themselves up for the smallest slip out of perfection; parents who cannot stand to not be perfect in every minute and at all times and must have “the answer” of how to do it right….and I have also seen the parents who really don’t seem to care that they are disconnected from their children, that their yelling and generally chaotic and rushed approach to parenting is killing the spirit of their child.
The truth lies in balance between these two extremes, and it also lies in reconciliation.
If the Divine Spirit flows in us, is indeed within us, and is within our child as well, how can we better find that and connect to that in our moments of stress? How can we forgive ourselves, and yet strive to not do these harmful and ineffectual behaviors anymore?
Reconciliation is an important key. Forgiveness of ourselves, forgiveness of our spouses, forgiveness of our children being children. Reconcile. Talk as a family. Vow to do better with the tools you will learn in these thirty-one days.
Most of all, find a partner to whom you can be accountable. Find a person who can be sympathetic in one sense, but also hold you accountable to stop yelling in the same breath. Start a journal today and keep track of the next five days: how often do you yell, what was the situation? How did things get back on track? Start to identify patterns. We all have them, and now is time to change.