Part of the Collect for today, Easter Wednesday, invokes a prayer to “open the eyes of our faith.” In a parenting context, I could not help but think about all the parents out there who feel they really are not good enough; that they should be more, that their children deserve more, that their house is not calm enough or peaceful enough, that their house is not clean enough or that they should do a better job feeding their family.
I think there it is one thing to think about improving oneself; to have in progress and at work the desire to improve something that is challenging or a weaker area in oneself.
It is a whole other ball of wax to constantly berate oneself for not being a different person or for not being perfect. They need their eyes to be opened in order to have faith and belief and confidence in themselves as a parent.
I understand how easy it is to lose faith and confidence in oneself as a parent. I can look to the fact that we are having small families in isolation from past generations as part of the challenge, and I can see where the societal push toward “having it all” (whatever that means) and the use of technology and experts for “instant answers” has truly impacted parenting. Perfectionism is a much-tossed about buzz word in many arenas of life.
Have you ever felt less than perfect as a parent? Less than confident? I am sure we all have!
However, I think really the only thing that can counteract what is going on in the life of the parent at this point in American society is an uprising of the individual parent’s consciousness and confidence. There are so many mothers (and fathers) I see that berate themselves for not being it all, for not being able to do it all, and I wish that their eyes could be opened to having faith in themselves.
Good enough is okay. Children and life with small children is noisy, messy, full of conflict and growth and strife and frogs and wet kisses and squishy chubby bellies and mud. (Okay, I threw some of those things in to see if you were actually reading. But the frogs and mud do co-exist with children quite nicely).
Your children only have you. Rise up and be the best you that you can be. Don’t get mucked down in the “would have, could have, should have’s” of life but put that game face back on and jump back in the game.
“Whew! Mommy got angry, but boy do I feel better! Let’s go have some fun now!”
“I can solve this problem and see it as a gift!”
“I can choose this course of action to help my child and if it is not the right course I will think about it and try something different.”
“This is working great for my family right now and it fits in with what I know about childhood development.”
“I can control myself with my children even if I am angry or upset because I want them to grow up to be a parent who can do this with my grandchildren.”
Keep striving in a confident way; you really can do this!
Live big and love your children,