When Your Children Are At Their Worst….

You need to be at your best.

You need to set the tone.  Quietly.

You need to calm down.

You need to use your hands gently to help.

You need to approach your child in a true manner that shows you actually want to help them.

You need to be able to pass this duty to someone else in your family if you cannot do it right this minute.  This does not mean you have failed, it means you are human.

You need to still be able to love your child, even if you don’t like them this minute.

You need to know this too shall pass.

You need to know life is full of these moments.

You need to know there is no perfect peaceful house.

You need to know that your child is not doing this on purpose.

You need to know your child loves you and wants to connect with you more than anything.

You need to know you are doing your best.

Many blessings today and every day,


36 thoughts on “When Your Children Are At Their Worst….

  1. this arrived in my inbox at the perfect time. this morning my 4 yr old decided most adamantly not to get up for school. I remembered that he stayed up late and just couldn’t face a battle of wills with him. so I let him choose between going to school or staying home without watching TV all day. he is happily playing with his toys on the floor. I must admit I am nervous about him being home all day w/out the “TV pill” when I need it. so I wrote this post down and will be referring to it all day! thank you

  2. Thank you thank you for this post.. It was exactly what I need to read. I am printing and putting it on the fridge…going through a challenging time with my 3.5 year old and oh, I need these reminders….

  3. Thank you so much for this post. It is a sign from above! My toddler and I had a less than ideal morning yesterday. If I had this reminder in my face I would’ve reacted in a more peaceful way. We reconnected, but I felt horrible afterwards.

  4. YES!! thank you that was lovely I have been wondering how to react when I need a break or wonder what the heck is going on??? Thank you!

  5. Dear Carrie,

    Thanks so much for this. I will put this reminder in a very visible place. I read it after I had one of those tiring battles with my three year old over on her refusal to eat dinner. I wish I would have read it before then, I got so frustrated and angry! I certainly needed it.

    Thanks again,


  6. Thank you Carrie!! I really needed to read this tonight–my day started & ended w/full-blown meltdowns by my overtired 3.5 year old. I will print this & promise myself to go to the “list” the next time. Your guidance is greatly appreciated & models the mother the strive to be. It’s funny how we know these principles but can lose sight of them while “in the moment” Having them visible & accessible will be valuable.

  7. Oh Carrie! This was/is an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, timely post!!!! Every mom needs to have this taped up in every single room in their home. Seriously. This post is the perfect tool to help us when we struggle to get through “those” minutes, hours, and days. This post also gives us moms permission to be human beings and less than perfect ones at that. I think so many moms out there feel like they have completely failed if they have a less than perfectly peaceful day. As you said, peaceful cannot happen all of the time. Life, emotions, developmental stages, and unexpected bumps in the road will get in the way. Your list is a real lighthouse to help guide us moms! Thank you again!

  8. Carrie,

    This is something I am going to print and post somewhere in the house so I can read it daily as a reminder of the kind of parent I want to be. Thanks so much!!!


  9. And, yet another affirmation that the timing of this post was perfect… It arrived in my inbox last evening. After I read it, I asked him if he had seen it yet. He just smiled, nodded, and said (full of meaning), “Yes.”

  10. If I only had these amazing words last evening. They will be with me, in my wallet, on the fridge and in my husband’s hand before the day is out. As I will need to refer to them again and again and again……thank you, Carrie.

  11. I just had my 3rd child a week ago and our 3-year old is having a really hard time right now. I just started crying so much when I read this, and even typing this is hard. Thank you so much, Carrie. And if I may I’d like to say that I would really appreciate hearing more about your thoughts, experience and knowledge on siblings – I’ve always agreed with what I’ve seen you write here, that siblings are among the greatest gifts we can give our children… But seeing my 3-year old feeling so hurt I’m tempted to agree with Naomi Aldort when she says siblings should be spaced at least 7 years apart, my 8-year old is completely infatuated with his sister, not that I expect 3-year old to be but I didn’t expect him to feel this sad and hurt, it’s almost like he’s grieving – grieving his old life maybe (he’s at home full time)… It’s just really really hard.

  12. Hi Carrie,
    My second follow up post about electronics and our eldest son is due to be published this evening 5.00pm NZST; also a post explaining the set of exercises which helped our son’s behaviour. The second post is aimed at helping children with Reading difficulties, but the exercises also improved his ability to manage to assess a situation before reacting. The flight/fight parts of his brain are not so quick to fire any more.
    Best wishes,

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