I think one of the most important things we can develop as a parent and model for our children is self-control. 

Self- control shines in so many areas of life:

  • In Our Words.  How can we use our words like the pearls they should be? 
  • In Our Actions.  Our actions reflect what we are louder than anything else and become the foundation of what our children think is right and wrong.
  • In Our Thoughts.  How do we expect our children to be positive when all we are thinking are grumpy, negative and complaining thoughts?
  • In Buying.  When we have the “gimmies” and nothing is ever enough, our children pick up on this attitude.
  • In Work.  How lazy are we?  How many hours a day do we spend on the computer compared to how many hours we do practical work with our hands?  What do our children see us doing all day long?
  • In Eating and Exercising and Taking Care of Our Bodies. 
  • In Being Home and Being Out.   Must we do everything, be everywhere, make sure our children experience everything before they are fifteen?  Is this healthy?
  • In Flexibility. Can we be flexible or do we fall apart when things don’t go as we planned?
  • With Boundaries.  Are we good boundary-setters for our children, and for ourselves with other adults?  It is one thing to be polite and kind  and it is quite another to just offer ourselves up to be torn apart by others.

In what other ways can you  think of issues of self-control impacting your life?

Many blessings,



3 thoughts on “Self-Control

  1. Ha. I was pondering the concept of self-control and thinking about how if it is difficult to maintain while parenting my 2.5 year old and 6 week old simultaneously, it may be even more difficult when parenting two teens, so now would be a great time to focus on it and really start to master it/master the process of beginning again with it whenever I falter.

    Right now, I think I am struggling most in terms of words, tone, and flexibility. In all the areas I see my (2.5 year old) son struggling to adjust to his new baby sister’s presence, I can see the ways I am struggling to adjust as well. His volume level is too high – well, I don’t normally yell but have done so in recent weeks. His tone is frequently demanding right now – yup, mine is, too. He is having an extra hard time managing unexpected developments. Um, me, too. All of his behaviors are, I realize, developmentally appropriate. But his ability to navigate them and my ability to support him in navigating are clearly hindered by the periodic loss of self-control I have been experiencing. On the upside, experiencing that loss is at the very least a good reminder of how overwhelmed our young children must feel when they are upset or engaged in certain challenging behaviors.

    Appreciated your recent post about adjusting to siblings. Would love to read more from you or others on the topic, and also about regaining self-control after more challenging periods of time.

  2. Thank you so much for this wonderful post. This is one of the most difficult aspects of parenting for me, and you have given me some wonderful questions on which to meditate as I strive to bring mindfulness to my parenting and life as a wife and mother.

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