Renewal: Relationship With Your Spouse

Almost every month I write a post on this topic, but it is so important it bears repeating every month!  How are you and your spouse doing?  Are you strong and unified and having fun or are things tense and battle-like?

Here are some questions/ ideas for this month: 

  • What is the one little nice thing you do for your spouse each and every day in front of your children?
  • When is the time you and your spouse get to sit down and have a conversation?
  • How often are you intimate?
  • How often do you compliment your spouse?  I have read studies (who does these?) that men need an average of ten compliments a day.  Do you even come close to that?
  • How often do you laugh together?
  • How is the work around the house shared by both of you?
  • How often are you plain in asking your husband what you need?  My husband often says to me, ” Honey, just tell me what you need and I will help you!  Even after almost 18 years of marriage, I can’t read your mind!”  Yep, men are not generally mind-readers!
  • What do you and your spouse love to do together?
  • What does your family do spiritually together?  Does your husband say a blessing over your meal?  Is there some special way your children see both of you honor spirituality in your home?

I do not think it is necessary to leave your baby or a toddler who has separation anxiety at home whilst you go out to “have time together.”  Your children grow up so quickly, it really is a short time.  Have a date at home after you put the children to bed!  If your children are older and you have trusted family, how about a morning or afternoon date – many times that is much more successful than going out in the  evening until the children are older…

I think the other important thing to consider in the midst of this topic of renewal with your spouse is renewal with yourself!  If you are feeling close to burned out, this is important to consider.

Just a few thoughts tonight.

Many blessings,


13 thoughts on “Renewal: Relationship With Your Spouse

  1. Ahhh, thank you. I needed a post like that. My goal for this month is to reconnect with my friend, my husband. We have fallen very easily into a parenting, household functioning relationship. So common. Yours was the last post I’m checking before I went to go hang out with my husband.
    Thank you for your support and inspiration. I enjoy your blog so much. It always gives me encouragement to try harder each day, being the best mother I can be to my children. Oh, and lets not forget the husband……:)

  2. What a great post. I think we get so caught up in taking care of things around the house, with our kids, for the family… that we some times forget to take a break and recognize that without our wonderful spouse we wouldn’t have a family to care for. I know my husband has said he needs to feel appreciated, but I forget to make those 10 compliments a day. It’s not that I don’t think them; I just don’t always verbalize them.

    thanks for the reminder!

  3. I’m so glad to see this aspect of family life also taken into consideration. It’s so easy being preoccupied with family life – and forgetting to be partners, remembering that there is a special bond there.

  4. I am so glad that you post on this topic. Our adult relationships so often get pushed to the side and not considered as important or relevant to the health of the whole family.
    My parents were incredible as my siblings and I grew up. We always knew that their relationship with each other was just as important as their relationship with us. They were often affectionate and loving to each other around us, they talked freely about appropriate things, and even went to Marriage Encounter meetings and weekends. They impacted not just us, but our friends as well. Those friend who have been around us since childhood often compliment our parent’s relationship and comment on it being one they look to for their own lives.

  5. I love the study about men needing ten compliments a day, so do I!
    And as much as I enjoy a night out with my man, there is something so sweetly special about “sneaking out” downstairs to watch a movie snack after the kids fall asleep.

  6. Hi Carrie
    Thanks for this post.It seems as if I need reminding of this topic as I have read in my daily devotional today how one should change yourself and often your spouse will change because he/she response to a different you. (Instead of critisising or nagging your partner.) It makes so much sense. Treat others as you would like to be treated. I will try with the 10 compliments a day. Wow, poor guy he won’t know what hid him by tonight 😉

    • Hi Emma, At five weeks, both of you cut yourselves some well-deserved slack…:) It takes time to parent an infant, and your relationship is changing and growing with your spouse as a result of that..
      Be easy with yourself and mindful with each other..

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