Daily Archives: September 29, 2009

“Flow of the Day”

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Hi there all,

I had a mom request a posting of a “flow in the day” kind of scheme as she is working on rhythm.  Of course this totally depends on the ages of your children, but here are some back posts to help you all out:

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/09/flow-of-the-day-in-a-waldorf-home/

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/05/homeschooling-multiple-children-with-waldorf/  (this post was very well-liked!)

and this one:

https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/03/13/baby-steps-to-waldorf-rhythm/

We are still pretty much in the rhythm described in the first post at this point (uh, 38 weeks pregnant now, so I am sure it will change! LOL).  From that post here is our general  rhythm:

  • Up, air out beds while taking shower, cleaning up bathroom and getting dressed
  • Make all beds with children’s help
  • Breakfast with blessing, religious devotional;  clean-up after breakfast including wiping table and sweeping under table
  • Help children with dressing, hair brushing and teeth brushing
  • Throw in laundry
  • Go for walk with children and dog or gardening tasks   (SEE BELOW FOR CHANGES)
  • Snack
  • Call to school with Song of Month on pennywhistle and any festival songs we are learning, light candle, say morning verses  (we may school outside or inside)
  • Circle time or seasonal finger plays for Kindergartner
  • Story for Kindergartner/Activity after story – every week we include modeling of some type and kind.  We also use drama, puppets, drawing, and other things to bring the story alive over a period of two weeks to a month for each Kindy story.
  • Oral Active Math practice for older child if not in a Math Block or pennywhistle and more singing practice to “warm-up”
  • Main Lesson for Grades Child – three day rhythm here…… Remember, an hour is a long time here for a First Grader!   It is important also to realize Main Lesson involves a lot of movement, arts, etc.  Definitely not all seat work!  Not at all!
  • Foreign language two days a week (German on Mondays with arts and crafts for the younger child,  Wednesdays Spanish with free play inside for the youngest child) (And yes, amazingly, this time period may involve more eating and snacking :) )  We also try to work in some other activities, see below.   
  • Closing verses and outside play while I do some more cleaning, lunch preparation
  • Blessing, lunch; clean-up
  • Quiet time
  • Handwork alternated with arts and crafts or wet on wet painting is ideal  (OR OTHER THINGS DEPENDING ON BLOCK)

The afternoons we are home we  spend outside playing or just creating.  We usually bake on Tuesdays and Saturdays and garden on Thursdays for my little Kindergartner.    One thing that has changed from the above post is that we are not walking in the AM because I found it really just took over much of the morning by the time I rounded everyone up again, then everyone had to eat, etc….Just too long for us to get going.  So we are trying to jump into school earlier and get done by 10:30 or so for outside play with lunch at 11:15 or so.

One thing I am contemplating is our Head, Heart, Hands kind of rhythm.  I have  a rhythm with this outside of our Main Lesson Time – for example, for my second grader, we did  2 weeks of Form Drawing from Trickster Tales and 2 weeks of Math for Main Lesson Time followed by Wet on Wet Painting for one week daily and drama for 3 weeks; and for Hands we did introduction to Kinderlyre for two weeks and Arts and Crafts for two weeks.  This is mainly for the Second Grader, who needed some blocks of time to actually finish a project!  She is doing Handwork on Wednesdays with a trained Waldorf Handwork Teacher and knitting in the afternoons during her free time, which seems to be fine.  Her German and Spanish is included in her Main Lesson time currently.

But one thing I am contemplating after looking at many of the “schedules” from Waldorf schools is how to refine this more for my Second Grader and how not to lose the wee one.  So, some things are staying the same but I am going to try to round the troops up after lunch and quiet time for Eurythmy on Mondays (more drama than the gestures, I guess :)) ; wet on wet painting on Tuesdays, and Gardening on Thursdays, mainly for the benefit of my little one.  Just an extra half an hour to focus on the Kindy stuff, from about 1:30 to 2 or so.

We are going out on Wednesdays to Handwork Class, and Thursday afternoons we usually go to the park around 3 pm.  Every now and then we go out on a Friday for a health-related appointment.  Otherwise, we try to be home and have folks come to us in the afternoons or just be in our neighborhood.   I like to do adult handwork with some of our home time as well….. If I grocery shop it is on Wednesdays during Handwork Class or I do it by myself at night or on a weekend or my husband does it.  I try very hard to stay home!

Our weekends are plenty busy due to German School for my Second Grader on Saturday mornings and church on Sundays, so we stay home in the afternoons on the weekends.  My Kindergartener does not go to German School yet, so my husband usually does the driving to and from German School. for the Second Grader. 

Uh, probably clear as mud if you read this far??

It is a constant boundary battle to stay home more days than we are out and that is of importance.  To me, to really be an effective homeschooler, one has to be HOME.  It is impossible  to present a Main Lesson in the car!

Hope that helps stimulate some thoughts for those of you out there interested in this topic; I am a homeschooling mother just like you and I am constantly refining my own rhythm and what works best for my family.

Open to all comments below,

Carrie

More Realistic Expectations: Day Number Ten of 20 Days Toward Being A More Mindful Mother

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AGE FIVE:  Often referred to as a “Golden Age” in development with five-and-a-half being a time of disequilibrium according to traditional childhood development texts.

Five is the average age to be able to:

  • Carry an open container without spilling
  • Go to the toilet by themselves with no accidents
  • Use a towel to dry themselves after a bath
  • May be able to wash their own hair
  • Able to get dressed with reminders
  • May know left and right
  • Can cut out pictures following outlines
  • Will recognize missing or incongruous elements in pictures
  • Can walk down stairs carrying an object (no railing)
  • Can complete one sit-up and one push-up
  • Can adjust behavior to fit rules and routines of different situations
  • Can sacrifice immediate desires for a delayed reward
  • Act in accordance to social rules
  • Typically can control temper fairly well
  • Can play and work without disrupting others
  • Will comfort those in distress
  • Can cooperative in simple group games
  • Will protect other children and animals
  • Will offer to help
  • Will say “excuse me” when interrupting
  • Can wait to be acknowledged before speaking
  • Can answer telephone and carry on conversation
  • Can wait until designated time to leave table
  • Attends to task without supervision for 15 minutes
  • Can sing whole songs

AGE SIX:  Here are some pointers for age six:

  • Six-year-olds are DOERS.  They are not deep thinkers.  They do not need a lot of words.  With something you need done, it helps to walk them physically through what you need with movement and imagination.  Get the child moving before you speak, writes Nancy Blanning, a well-known Waldorf teacher.
  • Remember, a six-year-old can also have direct words to help them – but very short, to the point and POSITIVE.   Again, think of these “rules” as skills they are learning, not just something they must do or if they don’t do it they will fail and need to be punished.  Change your framework.
  • A six-year-old may be picky about what they asked to do, not wanting an activity that is “for babies”.  Think about what you are asking your child to do before you ask them and how your child might respond.
  • Go back to your rhythm. Six-year-olds need a strong rhythm.  They need to know the home for things, that every thing does have a place, so they can put things away for themselves.
  • Do not offer choices if there is really no choice. If it is time to leave or go to the bathroom, it is time to leave or go to the bathroom.  Maybe the choice is they can hold your hand to leave or hop like a bunny to leave, but it is still time to leave. 
  • Use stories to help your child do things, and help your child physically along as you tell that story.
  • Nancy Blanning also writes that from a Waldorf perspective, “Each adult responsibility you take care of for your child allows his or her energy to be available for growing.  We do a child a great service by pre-thinking and pre-planning how things will happen – by creating a “form”- which will support both the child and ourselves, so there is order and predictability.”   My personal  note to this is:  This does not in any way mean the child shouldn’t have to do things for themselves or help the family or help around the house, but it does mean that you, as the parent, have thought through how, when and where the child will take over their own routine or chore or whatever they are being asked to do, and that you have shown them step-by-step how it needs to happen.
  • Pick your battles.  The minute you engage in a struggle with your child, your battle is lost.  Help your child, and come up with ways both of you can win if it is possible.  Use matter-of –fact phrases and say what you need, and wait.
  • Think about warmth; how can you show your child warmth?  This is important when you are in one of those stages where you just are not liking your child’s behavior most of the time.  Try and find something you can say that they did that you actually did like, no matter how small.  Find time for smiles, hugs, kisses, being present to play a game, walks in an unhurried manner and just be there.  It will pay off in your relationship with your child!
  • Give as few direct commands as possible; this goes back to picking your battles and letting your rhythm and order carry things.  Think to yourself, if I ask them this, and they say, “NO!” do I have the time, the energy, the patience, to see this through at this moment and do I want to pick this as my focus today?  If it is very important to guiding your child’s life and future development as an adult, then by all means, go ahead. 
  • A six-year-old will take things that are not theirs and will often not tell the whole truth.  Help them. Ask them how something happened, not if they did that.  Put away those things that are tempting to them to take.  Remember that a six-year-old is restless, can be destructive, often can be at the height of sexual play and may need a bit more oversight than they did before if they are like that.  This is a developmental phase that will not last forever, and as a parent, it is still your job to keep your child safe and your property safe as well!
  • You may consider limiting time with friends, playdates and certainly the size and activities of a birthday party.  Six-year-olds are aggressive with friends, belligerent, go wild quickly and have strong emotions that often ends up with the child in tears.  Keep things easy, small and short.
  • Do not carry around baggage about your child saying “I hate you!” at this age or acting as if you are the most unfair mother in the whole world.  A six-year-old will do this, a six-year-old will take out things on their Mother, and it is not up to them to fill your cup.  Do things outside of your child to fill your own cup.  Be fair, be calm, hold the space and try to think compassionately even when they are not being nice.  You are the adult.
  • Do not get into verbal games – “You don’t love me, Mommy.”  Give them a hug and a smile and move on.  Likewise, you can listen to the drama of a six-year-old for so long, and then give them a hug and say.”I have heard you.  I am going to do the dishes now, and I know how sad you are.  I can listen more to you later. Come and have a snack.”  Be calm and limit your words!

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    Hope these tips will help you have realistic expectations for those five and six year olds!

    Carrie