Monthly Archives: April 2009

Help! My Child Doesn’t Seem to Know Right From Wrong!

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I have gotten several questions from local mothers lately regarding their (usually four year old) lying or stealing…..And the mothers are rather frantic about this, and are convinced their children are going to grow up to be juvenile delinquents.

First of all, let’s take a brief peek back at the four-year-old, (because it usually is a four-year old):  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/04/fantastic-four-year-old/

Secondly, let’s veer to what Steiner says for a moment.  In his lectures in the book, “Soul Economy”, he is very specific and clear that the child can only start to distinguish between right and wrong starting somewhere around five years of age.  Traditional childhood development resources such as The Gesell Institute states that a child will “blame” every one else for what happens when they do something “wrong” – ie, “You made me do that!”  In the Gesell Institute book “Your Seven-Year-Old” remarks, “Seven is definitely concerned about the wrongness of lying and cheating, especially in others.  He is somewhat less likely to blame others for his misdeeds than earlier, but is quick to tatttle about any breach of the ethical code on the part of his parents and friends.  If he himself missteps, he is very ready with an alibi:  “I didn’t mean to,”  “I forgot,”  “I was just going to do it,”  “That’s what I meant.”  So what are you asking of your four-year-old?

From  a Waldorf perspective we believe that the child under the age of 7 doesn’t have that individual consciousness yet, that a young child is in an imitative phase and that a young child is also in a phase of being physically in their bodies.  In an example to illustrate this, Steiner spoke in one of his lectures about distraught parents who came to him because their under seven child was “stealing” money from a place where they normally stored it in the house.  Steiner pointed out that the child had seen the mother take money from this place to pay for things, and that the child was simply imitating the mother.  The Gesell Institute points out that even a seven-year-old is likely to pick up and play with whatever catches their eye – yes, a seven-year-old!

So here we go back to the question I pose nearly every post:  Are you expecting your four-year-old to act like a ten-year-old?  You cannot parent an under 7 child with verbal directives from a chair.  Do not “ask” your four-year-old to do something, leave the room, come back and ask”, “Why didn’t you do why I asked?”  They are going to say, “I did!”  This is NORMAL from a developmental perspective.

The other issue is to know and understand when to make a BIG deal over things and when not to – yes, we need to guide behavior.  But, we probably need to guide less of this then you think, at least in words.   We tend as parents to be oh-so-serious about these issues in the three, four year –old.  If you “Head Talk” to your under six child about lying, stealing, etc it will not make much of an impact at all because of the above things we mentioned developmentally – if you are physically there to help your child follow through with what you ask, if you do not draw so much individual consciousness to them at such an early age, if you remember normal childhood development, then your physical presence will hold the space and decrease these behaviors.

Your child is learning how to be a moral person in their early childhood and needs your strong, and warm physical presence in the Early Years.  In Waldorf, we would work with this through less words, and more doing.   More physical presence, more being there with the child, more being present.  And knowing what to make a big deal of and knowing when to clean up the mess with the child and  not talk it to death!  

Please re-think your overly verbal and head-oriented approach to the child in the younger years as they develop their ethics and sense of morality.  Reassure your child they are loved no matter what behavior that they try on, but SHOW them that you are the adult in this situation, you have the control, and you can help them by being there.

In Peace,

Carrie

CDC’s Recommendations Regarding Swine Influenza A and Pregnancy and Breastfeeding

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You can get a look at the latest information we have here:

http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/clinician_pregnant.htm

Thanks,

Carrie

The Mini-Rant of Boundaries, Balancing and More

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My dear friend came over yesterday and while our children played we were just talking.  She mentioned some of her experiences whilst tutoring children in German, her native language,  and commented that some of the brightest, most academic, most verbal boys were also “the most difficult to work with”  within a tutoring situation.    When I queried her further, she said she felt that these boys, while often  very bright, were often VERY behind in other areas, including understanding of boundaries and personal space, manners, gross motor skills and fine motor skills.  (Oh, but they can read!  They have read since they were three!)

Donna Simmons just wrote this insanely good post about boundaries on her blog, have you all read it?  Here is the link in case you haven’t  yet:  http://christopherushomeschool.typepad.com/blog/2009/04/boundaries.html

This is an excellent reminder of what so many parents are doing with their children in our society (and not doing) and boundaries are there throughout all of our lives. 

To me, this inability of children to deal with boundaries of which my friend was speaking, (which, by the way,  I see more and more of), is directly tied into the lack of rhythm of the early years in children under 7 where no boundaries are set. The Early Years are the foundation for the rest of life.  Bedtime is when the child is  over- tired.  Naptime may or may not happen.  Meals and snacks are a different time each day.  Caregivers may be different with the rotation of the small child from room to room in daycare as they mature and grow.  Instead of being firmly entrenched at home, the small child is more and more likely to be going to the mall, the play area at the mall, out to lunch, and on every errand.

Instead of placing importance of the small child learning boundaries, becoming rhythmical, being rested and fed whole foods, living in their bodies and experiencing things through their senses,  we place the emphasis on “Have they started preschool yet?  Do they know their numbers and letters?”  If this is so beneficial for the long run, why is the United States behind other countries in academic indicators as the grades progress?  I had a dear Dutch neighbor who was amazed at the things her daughter learned here in the United States in the second and third grade and remarked that some of the things her child was learning was not taught until much later, sometimes in the SEVENTH grade, in the Netherlands.  If our emphasis on academic prowess in the early years and the early grades is so wonderful, why do we have such a high rate of ADD/ADHD, why do we see so many school-aged children who are having health issues related to stress, why do we see so many teenagers who are battling that feeling of “I have already done it all, I know everything, I have seen it all”?

I feel the problems we are seeing in the areas of boundaries with small children who are oh –so -smart and who can chatter incessantly oh- so -well has to do with our direct inability as a society to set boundaries with our children. 

We seem to have lost as a whole in our society the ability to distinguish the need to set boundaries that will keep the child a small child.  Instead, a small child is enmeshed in an adult world, with adult ideas and explanations and adult hurrying. 

Instead of letting the child be a small child, and realizing that a first, second, and third grader is still small and there is time to learn certain advanced concepts when the child is ready, there is this notion that if we start early and we just practice enough and repeat it enough, the child will get it!  Yes, the child may memorize it –but does it feed the child’s soul? does it speak to the child and the level of experience the child has?  Does it relate to what is in the child’s everyday life that they know?  Oh, hang developmental and physiological maturation anyway, we must know better than Mother Nature and our Creator, right?

This is one of the absolute major hang-ups I have with The Well-Trained Mind for the Early Grades – and my problem with it is not the idea that the child won’t  enjoy the  stories of ancient history, because they probably will.  They will probably enjoy spending time with you and listening to whatever you have to say!   But they probably will enjoy fairy tales, legends, nature tales just as much and take these truths into their souls more than just the story of how someone said it was some time ago.   Again, I think that learning some of these concepts early is just a symptom of the “expose the child early enough, drill it through several different times through the educational process and it will eventually stick” that we are seeing everywhere…….But does this lead to creativity and problem-solving that the technical nature of our society requires now and will require even more in the future?  As a science person, these are the questions that keep me up at night.

I hear parents worry about the academic rigorousness of Waldorf.  Waldorf education IS academically rigorous, at least in my household, but it is RESPECTFUL of where the child is.  Who says first grade should be as academically rigorous as the tenth grade?  This makes no common sense at all.   The things that are laid out in the Waldorf curriculum will have more impact and more meaning on their lives  than other methods, and yes, Virginia, you can still get in all your academic concepts through the wonderful stories and art and movement  in the Waldorf curriculum.  There are still matters of grammar, punctuation, writing, math, learning to play music, art, and all those other skills in the early grades in Waldorf.  That perceived pink bubble of Waldorf kindergarten does not last forever!  But that to me, is more where a small child SHOULD be!

And maybe, if we focus on the whole picture, the whole child, the idea of what a child needs outside of academics to function in our society, then we will be on to something.

Spend some time thinking about boundaries in your family.  Are the boundaries of people respected in your house?  What is done for the good of the whole family?  If someone has a need for rest, is this respected?  How about the ability to finish a sentence without interruption? Is your child learning manners, learning reverence, learning gratitude, experiencing things through their bodies and their senses? Boundaries are things children are learning over time, with GENTLE and LOVING guidance – they don’t happen overnight!  But they are every bit as important, if not more so, than the whole notion of being able to decode a symbol on a page at an early age.

So much for my rant of the day,

Carrie

More Inspirations from “Tapestries”: Ages 49-56

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Yes, we are going to finish going through the seven-year life cycles as they apply to adults ages 21 and older as seen through the eyes of Betty Staley in her wonderful book “Tapestries”.  If you missed the older posts on this and would like to read them, please do hit “seven year cycles” in the tags box and catch up!  There is also a post based on the cycles that occur in marriage and you can find that by hitting “Challenges in Marriage” in the tags box.

We are up to ages 49-56, a time Betty Staley labels as “Reassessing Our Priorities”.    She notes the following things about this stage:

  • We draw closer to our childhood experiences in this age and have a renewed interest in our roots and our family.  We question things such as “Why was I born into this particular family?  This particular culture?  This country?”
  • Through an understanding of our relationships, accomplishments, and struggles, we are able to bring wisdom to these experiences and also gratitude.
  • She remarks that, “By the time we enter this phase, middle-age is a fact of life.  Many of the strong emotions of earlier stages seem far away and even a bit silly.  In fact, it’s hard to remember some of the reasons for our disagreements with friends or partners.  We find ourselves forgiving those who caused us great pain.”
  • The strong urge to compete has diminished.  With it comes freedom to reform our own lives, ourselves, to live according to our own values. 
  • “Unwillingness to look at ourselves objectively and accept criticism will only block our further growth. “  We have to take responsibility for our behavior, and often flexibility decreased during this period of life.  “The big question during this period is whether we will have enough flexibility to learn from the past, or  become too rigid and replay past errors.”
  • Career change is common at this point of life.
  • Often men go through this stage and career change dramatically.  In the past, he may have been the provider and now savings may get used for daily living while he re-tools for a different career.  “It is a strong wife who can keep her family together at this time….”
  • If a woman has been mainly at home and now feels the need to make a career change while a child is still at home, her decision affects the entire family.    All the family is more on their own, and “the feeling of being nurtured is weakened.” 
  • If the woman has been mainly at home, a change will come when her children leave home.  Some women feel abandoned as their children leave the nest one by one, some cannot wait to have time for themselves again. 
  • Children leaving home can also be a challenge to a couple’s relationship.  “It can be a delightful experience to get to know each other again, to have time for each other; or it can spell the ruin of the marriage if a couple discovers that their relationship has deteriorated and was only held together by routine and concern for the children.” 
  • Betty Staley talks about how childhood trauma can cause problems during this period, that early traumatic experiences are woven into the body itself.  Fear of death can be intense during this time period. 
  • Men who come through what is called “the pivotal years” (40-50) are often in three groups – those who had unhappy childhoods and know how bad things can get and who are not frightened by much; those who have a strong sense of responsibility to other people; and then the third group composed of men who never had much ambition, optimism or confidence – since they didn’t set very high goals for themselves, not reaching these goals doesn’t seem so disappointing.  The men in the first two groups seem to come through this seven year phase much better than men in the third group. 
  • This seven year cycle is really about the balance between flexibility and rigidity, the balance of the soul with the art of living, the use of rhythm, the balance between stability and newness.

 

Happy pondering,

Carrie

Age for Waldorf First Grade

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If you are confused, well, join the rest of us!  Some Waldorf resources say the child is six in first grade, other sources say seven.  The general guideline I have used is that the child should be at least six and a half by the time the First Grade starts.  This means if your child has a summer birthday, they may be seven when first grade starts.  Most early six- year -olds are still in Waldorf Kindergarten (or should be). 

Do not rush, you can never get the Waldorf Kindergarten six –year- old year back!  And most children will benefit from the extra time to just “be” without having to focus on a main lesson for two hours.  No need to rush the end of that first seven-year cycle.

Hope that helps,

Carrie

Thoughts for Homeschooling Waldorf Grade Two

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I personally am very excited to prepare for Grade Two!  A Grade Two child should be close to eight years of age and the Waldorf curriculum for this age reflects the increasing separation (but not complete)  of the child from the dreamland of the first seven-year-cycle.  A second-grader should still be open and trusting about the world, although not nearly as dreamy as your First Grader should have been.  Second Grade is a  deepening of what has been taught in the First Grade, and we have the privilege of making sure our child really does know all their phonetic sounds of the letters, sight words, going deeper with our four math processes, increased and more realistic Science.  We have the opportunity to make sure the child is learning these things through movement, art, and music and rhythm instead of dry, mind-numbing workbooks and reading comprehension paragraphs.

Stories of the Saints sometimes throw parents during this year.  The Saints are NOT taught within the context of the Catholic Church (although if you wanted to do that at home, I suppose you could!)  There are also  Hindu saints (see Hear the Voice of the Griot! by Betty Staley for suggestions) and Donna Simmons has some suggestions for Saints and Heroes from Russia, Native America, China and other places. Donna Simmons writes in her “The Christopherus Waldorf Curriculum Overview for Homeschoolers”:

“Stories of the Saints is a wonderful Main Lesson found in most Waldorf schools.  Here one is telling stories from the lives of people who were not quite of this world – whether this is Brendan braving the waves to sail to new lands,  Francis addressing the wolf at Gubbio or Bride traveling to another life via the well.  This is not a block on good people or people who have done good deeds.  This is about other-wordly people, messengers from the spiritual world – a place the eight year-old still relates to.”

Second Grade material also could include the Buddhist Jataka Tales from India, myths and legends of the world, Native American or African trickster tales, Robin Hood or King Arthur, Mungo.   The moral lesson of the tale, as far as trickster tales and fables,  is NOT directly said – the child will figure it out!  Remember what Steiner said about supplying the child of this age with conclusions (and if you forgot, see this post here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/04/17/inspirational-words-from-steiners-the-education-of-the-child-regarding-teaching-of-the-7-14-year-old/).

Language Arts is centered around starting to learn the types of speech (the four kinds of words – name words, doing words, how words and color words.  You can see Dorothy Harrer’s “An English Manual” by Dorothy Harrer), punctuation, writing paragraphs, more word families, sight words.  All of this is taught creatively through stories and movement, not through dry workbooks. 

Eric Fairman has many examples of how to tackle the four kinds of words in his book regarding second grade and is a good resource.

Math this year has the following goals, taken from Ron Jarman’s “Teaching Mathematics in Rudolf Steiner School for Classes I-VIII”:

a) Rhythmic learning by heart the rest of the multiplication tables (up to 12 times) and in many ways: 12 is three times 4, three 4s are 12, 4 into 12 goes three.  Rhythmic clapping, speaking, etc of sequences, both forwards and backwards, of sequences like 3  6 9  12

b)Intensive mental arithmetic, and practical problems where is has to be used.  Use of the familiar terms “a half of”, “a quarter of”, “the difference between”.  Playing store with money.

c)Written arithmetic in units, tens, hundreds and thousands – with addition, subtraction, short multiplication and short division; all involving carrying.

d)  Simple money sums

e) Development of symmetrical form drawing – using several shapes on the same piece of paper with one vertical axis of symmetry, extension to horizontal plus vertical axes, with horizontal axis alone.

f) freehand drawing of various symmetrical shapes – ovals, pentagons, pentagrams and interlacing figures

g) Experience of directions of space N, S, E and W

h)Factor multiplication and division

i)  Predicting the rough answer of a sum before doing it

j)  Translating large numbers into words and vice versa.

Science focuses on the characteristics of animals, taken from the Fables and Saint Stories as part of the three –day rhythm. If you are confused how to do this, I highly suggest you join Marsha Johnson’s Yahoo!group waldorfhomeedcuators and access her second grade files regarding how to do this.  Other blocks may include working with the four elements.  Gardening is a practical way to incorporate Science in second grade at home.  I have a complete post regarding the scope and sequence of Science throughout the years in the Waldorf curriculum:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/02/28/science-in-waldorf-homeschooling/

Form Drawing has been mentioned, with a focus of mirrored or symmetrical forms on a vertical axis, crossing the axis, working with a horizontal axis and then work with both axis lines toward the end of Second Grade.

Knitting in some schools included projects with purling now; some schools move into crochet.  Hand sewing can still be done as well.

Music should be continuing with singing and your blowing instrument and more songs.  Piano is not included in the Waldorf curriculum and a stringed instrument is introduced in the Third Grade, but some homeschooling parents do start piano lessons here.

Modeling, as taken from Arthur Auer’s wonderful book “Knowing About the World Through Modeling”, include wonderful ideas for working with the animals of many of the fable and Saint stories. 

Wet-on-wet painting lessons often link up with the stories of saints and fables.  Dick Bruin and Attie Lichthart write in their book “Painting in Waldorf Education”,  that in order to keep the painting from becoming a representation of something from the story instead of a color conversation, sometimes the painting exercises are done a few months after the stories are told.

Gardening, as mentioned before, should be an important part of your curriculum in the home environment.  Working with the four elements is also laying the foundation for later physics of the sixth grade, so do that work carefully.

All in all, a wonderful year with lots of material to choose from!

Carrie

Determining the Essential

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A lovely mom recently wrote in with a comment about how to handle establishing rhythm while working part-time. 

I think this boils down to sitting down with your partner and choosing the essential things for your family.  Some partners actually sit and write a family mission statement (if you have written one and are willing to share it as inspiration for others, please do write a comment in the comment box!)  Once you know what is absolutely essential for you and your family, it becomes easier to discern what to say “No” to and what to say “yes” to.  Also, the age of your children is important as older children can deal with a bit more flexibility in the routine than the younger child can.

So, my suggestion if you are a working -outside- the- home mother and you have children under the age of 7, is to get a piece of paper and a pen and really meditate on what is most important for you and your family?  Is it your family’s spiritual path?  Is it spending time in nature?  Is it health?  Is it serving others?  Is it creating and holding a steady, warm space at home for your little ones?

These are important questions and probably every family will have a bit of a different slant on things, but the other food for thought I can offer for determining what is essential is to determine the totally necessary things for your children. If you have children under the age of 7, you probably know from this blog some of those things – rhythm (which may dictate saying “No’” to activities that are at a bad time or whatever), bedtimes, warm foods that are not processed, outside time, play, stories and music. If you have children in the 7-14 year old range, you are going to start thinking about creating a trusted circle of adults and friends, spiritual life, protection from fatigue, forming good habits and memory, art and music.  If you have children over the age of 14, you will be thinking of even different things.  If you have children that span mixed age ranges, you will have to take into account all these different ages and what they need and figure out the best way to accommodate this in probably the most limited way so you don’t go crazy trying to be all things to all people.

The point is, though, that we all have things that are essential.  We cannot do everything, and nor can our children.  We must pick and choose.

Rhythm is essential in itself.  Some people profess that they are not rhythmical at all, yet we all breathe in a rhythmical manner, we all have hearts that hopefully beat in a rhythmical manner, women have menstrual cycles that are hopefully rhythmical.  If you are not rhythmical, I would suggest that you need rhythm even more than the average person.  If you find you cannot stick to a rhythm, you may be trying to make it so complex to start and trying to do everything without saying “No” to anything.  Rhythm without discernment of your most important priorities is difficult at best, if not impossible. 

Determine your essential things – whether this is through writing, journaling, meditating, praying, or drawing.  I would love to hear your progress, what is essential to you, and what you have had to say “No” to in order to fulfill the essential.

Please do share,

Carrie

Peaceful Living with Your Super Seven-Year-Old

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The seven-year-old is entering a new phase in life in many ways, and there are some specific ways that they need support from you as the parent:

  • A seven-year-old still needs PROTECTION of their senses and of how much they are doing in any one day.  A seven-year-old wants to do everything and anything, but as the Gesell Institute points out, a hallmark of the seven-year-old is fatigue.  They need you to establish good bedtimes (7:30 is not too early for a busy seven-year-old!) and they need you to help them limit their activities.
  • The Gesell Institute also mentions that many seven-year-olds with fall birthdays may not be ready for second grade at all.  This is not typically a problem in the Waldorf curriculum due to most second graders should be close to eight in second grade, but do take heed if school is not going well.
  • A seven-year-old needs PROTECTION from dry facts, boring teaching, and adult intellectualization.  A seven-year-old is still not in the realm of logical thought.  Steiner strongly felt this age should be taught through parables, stories, stories about great men and women (pretty forward thinking for that day and age, adding the “great women” in there!), and not providing dry conclusions of “this is the way it is”.  His thought was this really stifled the thought process and independent judgment making that a teenager of aged 14 and up would go through at that time.
  • Therefore, it goes without saying, your seven-year-old still does not need too much explanation about things.  Simples explanation, yes, but still needs stories and analogies about things in life.
  • Physical movement is still REALLY important, and I am not talking about organized sports.  I am talking about PLAYING and being outside in nature where they create the games themselves.  Seven-year-olds should still be playing!  The Gesell Institute mentions that adult supervision is still important when they play because sevens become excited and wild which can often end in “destruction of  material or personal altercation.”  Also, be aware many seven-year-olds are not too compassionate of those they deem “different” and while they thrive on group praise per Gesell Institute, most sevens also do not seem to “need” friends the way they did when they were six.
  • Steiner felt the most important things to provide this age outside of stories was showing the child through pictorial imagery that something exists above Man (his idea of showing the child the  “supersensible” ), community and having a circle of people the child can trust is important, beauty, art, music and rhythm, the formation of good habits and the development of memory.  If you would like more information on this, please refer to this post: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/04/17/inspirational-words-from-steiners-the-education-of-the-child-regarding-teaching-of-the-7-14-year-old/
  • Seven-year-olds are more contained, quiet, and tend to cry easily “at any, every, or even no provocation.”  Be careful becoming irritable or critical of the people a seven-year-old says is picking on them or hates them….Sevens rather like being gloomy and complaining.  Try not to take it too seriously, unless you really do think it is a bullying issue at school or something else more serious.  However, not taking it too seriously does not mean you do not treat the complaints that no one likes me, etc, etc as if they are real.  The feelings are real to your child!  So, don’t get dragged too far into it all, but also acknowledge how your child feels.
  • Seven-year-olds think about death, dying, killing, violence.  This is why the archetypal fairy tales found in the Waldorf curriculum are wonderful for this age.  Take all the wild talk calmly!  You can sometimes say something to the effect that children think these things, but add in that, “Of course we wouldn’t do that here in our house.”
  • If your child is rude, please do be calm.  Treat the rudeness in the  matter-of-fact manner as you would any other bad behavior.
  • A seven-year-old is likely to be fearful of many things; again, these feelings are real to the child so you can be sympathetic and compassionate without being completely dragged into it all.  Don’t YOU be frightened of your child’s fears; that provides the child no sense of security at all!
  • Know that a seven-year-old still will most likely touch, manipulate and play with anything that catches their eye.
  • Most sevens are procrastinators, have short memory spans per Gesell (which makes perfect sense to we Waldorf people that memory is forming and being placed into play as something important now); they have a tendency to get very distracted easily.  Sevens also try to be perfect and need reminding that no one is perfect or should be perfect.
  • Help your child take mistakes as calmly as possible, and if possible how to laugh at themselves a bit when they do make a mistake.  Help your child to work toward best effort as an achievement and not the whole win-lose thing.  Stories that involve these notions can be very helpful, also stories where the person has to work hard to get a result, since most sevens would like to do something perfectly right off the bat.
  • Your seven-year-old will argue with you in a sense, asking “Why?”  “Why?” over and over, more almost as a stalling technique for whatever you asked them to do.  Do NOT overtalk to them!  If you need help, see my post entitled, “Stop Talking!  (”https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/04/14/stop-talking/)  But do make sure your child has heard you- sometimes they really don’t hear you!
  • As always, pick your battles as to the things that are MOST important for your family.

 

Here is to peaceful and respectful living with our children,

Carrie

Your Super Seven-Year-Old: Traditional and Anthroposophical Views of Development, Part Two

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We took a peek at the seven-year old through a model of traditional childhood development with our friends at the Gesell Institute in their wonderful book, “Your Seven-Year-Old”.  Today we are going to look at the seven-year-old through an anthroposophical lens of Waldorf parenting and education.  Please take what resonates with you; if you are not familiar with Waldorf education some of these ideas may seem startling.  Some of these ideas may not mesh with your own religious beliefs or your viewpoint, so you must decide if these ideas even work for you.  I tend to view the child from more of a body/soul/spirit Judeo-Christian perspective, but I put this here so you can decide how you feel. 

The seven-year-old is beginning the second seven year cycle of their life.  The child is seen as still incarnating into the physical body, but now the etheric body is forming and developing.  If you have forgotten all about the notion of Steiner’s four-fold human being, here is the quick review of the four components from the book “The Physiology of Childhood” by Schoorel:

  • The physical body – the physical body takes and requires space.  The physical body is born into the inner world  during the first month of pregnancy, and is born into the outer world with the birth of the physical body of the infant.
  • The ether body – maintains all life in the human being, animal, or plant.  It encompasses such diverse things as breathing, biochemical processes.  When the ether body is gone from the physical body, the physical body is dead.  The ether body is not visible to the human eye (this makes sense, doesn’t it, if the ether body is all chemical reactions and such) but some of the ACTIONS of the ether body we CAN see, such as biorhythms, heartbeats, brainwaves, the menstrual cycle of the female.  The ether body is born into the inner world of the child when the child starts to take care of their own life processes outside of the mother – breathing, digestion, warmth, metabolism.  The ether body is seen being born into the outside world around the age of 7, as signaled by the appearance of the permanent teeth.
  • The astral body – the bearer of abilities: behavior, the ability to think, to feel, to will; sympathy, antipathy, the ability to have wishes, desires, passions.    In anthroposophy, the astral body cannot be seen, but some of the ACTIONS  of the astral body can be seen within the inner organs and the nervous system.  Schoorel goes on to write on page 26 that:

“The astral body is, among others, the carrier of desires, emotions, and egoism.  During the first years, the astral body does not work in the body of the child under the child’s direction.  During the first three years, children are not egoistic but innocent, neutral, and objective in their behavior and actions.  The first three years lay the physical foundation of the three main functions of the soul – willing, feeling, and thinking.  This foundation is laid through the fact that children learn to walk in their first year, learn to speak in their second year, and learn to  think in their third year.”

At about the age of three, the astral body is born into the inner world of the child; it is born into the outer world at the age of 14.

  • The I-organization- is a system of intentions, directions, goals.  The I-organization is the bodily foundation of the human I.  The human-I is a spiritual being where one learns how it can do good out of free choices.  Steiner believed that when the physical body died, the I would go toward further incarnation and leave the I-organization behind.  The I-organization activity is internalized around the age of 10 and is then born into the outer world around the age of 21.

So, the child is growing and changing and needing different things to support the etheric body as it forms and also to  consolidate the incarnation into the physical body.  In Kindergarten, the emphasis is on WILLING.  Now the emphasis is on FEELING.  In Kindergarten, the main goal included creating a sense of GRATITUDE.  Now the goals center around the child’s response to AUTHORITY (remember, not mean nasty authority, but a natural love for teacher, people they can trust).  This is the time to foster a sense of community, of LOVE, of beauty.

I have written many posts on the six/seven year transformation, and you can access those in the tags box.  That will provide needed background so you can understand what the seven year needs for peaceful living.

Peace,

Carrie

The Development of Morality Versus the Development of Faith

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(The post today is about morality and faith and big issues.  It is not meant to be inflammatory in any way, and if this topic does not interest you, or is upsetting to you, please do feel free to skip it and come back for a different post next time!  And, as always, please choose to take what resonates with you and your family and your personal faith and your own journey and leave the rest here!)

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I received a copy of Kenneth Taylor’s children’s book “Right Choices.”  I assumed this book would not bother me.

This book really bothered me.

The  book, I felt,  just really hit small children over the head with situations where the children make good and bad choices and then bible quotes.   It was so cut and dry, and so moralistic and so pointed and direct.   It bothered me for those reasons,  but I could not figure out why it bothered me so much more than that for several years now.  And now I just figured it out in the midst of reading another wonderful book called, “Helping Our Children Grow in Faith,” by Robert Keeley.  It is written from a Reformed Christian perspective, so it may not be of interest to everyone, but I found a bunch of things in it that made me go “A-HA!”

Keeley writes about the development of MORALITY and the development of FAITH and how these are not the same things at all. 

He writes about the development of faith as according to James Fowler.  There are six stages, and some of them overlap certain ages:

Stage 1 – Intuitive-Projective Faith (ages 2-6).  Filled with fantasy, powerful images, and imagination.  The child reflects the parents’ faith.

Stage 2 – Mythic-Literal Faith (ages 6-12).  The circle of influence widens to include other people besides the parents.  Faith at this stage is pretty straightforward and includes few “gray areas”

Stage 3- Synthetic-Conventional Faith (ages 12-???)  The importance of belonging to a group typifies this stage for adolescents; for adults in this stage belonging to a community of other people who have the same beliefs is important

Stage 4- Individuative-Reflective Faith (ages 18-???)  In this stage people take personal responsibility for their own faith, often questioning and exploring and figuring out what they truly believe.

Stage 5- Conjunctive Faith (ages 30-???) In this stage people find that many of the faith practices that they threw off or discarded during the previous period may be more valuable than they originally thought.  This is the stage where people “own their own faith.”

Stage 6- Universalizing Faith (ages?????)  Faith becomes a commitment, more than a set of beliefs.  Few people ever reach this stage.

Contrast this to Lawrence Kohlberg’s theory of moral development:

Stage 1-avoiding punishment (You make moral judgments based on if you will get “punished” or not)

Stage 2-reciprocity (You make moral judgments on the basis of satisfying your own needs and wants)

Stage 3-good boy/nice girls (People make moral judgments on the basis of wanting others to think they are nice people)

Stage 4- law and order (People make judgments based on the basis of external authority).

Stage 5- social contract and individual rights (People make more judgments based upon the principles behind the law, not so much the laws)

Stage 6 – universal ethical principles (People make moral judgments based on self-chosen ethical principles, such as human rights and the dignity of all people.

Until about age 7 or 8, the source of authority in making moral judgments is SELF-INTEREST.  There is so much going on these days with teaching small children about the environment, and homelessness and other social justice topics.  Many of you know I frequently meditate on social justice topics, but guess what?  A child is not going to make moral judgments based upon universal ethical principles at this point – they are going to make judgments of being in the moment, for self interest.  Even according to Piaget, children of this age, up to 7 or 8, really do not have the mental ability to put themselves in someone else’s perspective. 

(And you may say, well Carrie, my child can do this!   And I am here to tell you most likely that is a firstborn oldest girl whom you have probably talked a lot with!  I wrote in one of my other recent posts how we place, often unconsciously, a large amount of pressure on our eldest girls when they are six, seven and eight and really do expect them to be more mature than they are….So if your child can do this skill, that really, according to every expert out there, is not where a seven or eight year old should even be, then I suggest you make sure to give them plenty of opportunities to be a child!  Don’t expect them to be a ten year old in a six year old body, please!)

Anyway, Keeley goes on to write that to help children grow in faith, we cannot do this by  merely giving them a list of do’s and don’ts “masquerading as stories of real people” (ie, bible stories or stories from your faith tradition where we are knocked over the head with someone’s moral interpretation of it.)

He writes,

“It is important we do not reduce the Bible to a set of moral tales, while still helping our children grow up with a clear sense of right and wrong.

When we turn Bible stories into moral tales for small children, we realize, at best, we are hoping to influence their most basic instincts and convince them that it is in their best interest to be “good”.  Influencing moral behavior is not the same as building faith.  A church program that emphasizes moral behavior at the expense of the cognitive and relational aspects of faith is missing the point.

I think we tend to focus a lot of our teaching on moral behavior for a couple of reasons.  First of all, moral behavior is something we can see.  We know we’ve succeeded in teaching children how to be good if they behave themselves.  A [living faith] is a tougher thing to observe, but far more important.  Second despite being less important than [a living faith], moral behavior is important.  We want our children to behave because we want them to have successful lives, we want to enjoy being around them, and it’s the right thing to do.”

So, I think I figured out that that children’ book bothered me 1- because in my view it is not developmentally appropriate for the pre-school audience it was intended for 2 – sometimes just knowing the stories and events of your faith is enough for small children, there are places where the story  is just enough.  Some of the stories from your faith may have a moral, some may be history with meaning and direction for us in the present, some of it shows people’s faith – not all of it was written down to illustrate a clear moral tale in my view at least.  3- the development of faith and morality are not necessarily the same or are even mixed well.  4.  Moralizing a  story reduces it, to me, as Keeley says, “one “right” way of interpreting what happened.”  Whereas a lesson in faith is more a “reflection on the story that helps us think about who God is, who we are, or what our relationship with God is.”  He talks about the importance of WONDERING during these stories with small children – not a quiz to see if they were listening, but a true wondering where there really is no answer. He provides some examples in his book, and the book “Young Children and Worship” also has examples in it.

This book provided me with incredible food for thought on some of these tough issues.  I hope it will lead you to think as well how you are developing and treating issues of moral judgment with your small children and how you are looking toward developing your child’s faith life if that is important to you and your family.  Steiner felt religious development was extremely important in the ages of 7-14, not necessarily picking a religion, but that development of what he called the “supersensible.”  Melisa Nielsen of A Little Garden Flower has said she felt Steiner spent way more time thinking about God, the angels and such than such elemental beings as gnomes, which seems to be what he is associated with to some people.  She has a lot of wonderful things to say about this subject, do go check her website out! (http://www.alittlegardenflower.com/)

All food for thought with peace and joy,

Carrie