Humor: Day Fourteen Of Twenty Days Toward More Mindful Mothering

(For those of you new to this blog, we have gone/are going through the series “Twenty Days Toward More Mindful Mothering” for the second time; you can find the back posts under the “General Wisdom” tab in the header).

 

Humor is such an important tool in mothering and in generating positive outcomes in behavior that it had to have its own separate day! I think this is one place where many mothers, including myself, can fall short if we are not truly careful in cultivating this.

Is everything in parenting really that serious? So many times I think we see a behavior in a small child and feel we must somehow change it because otherwise our teenager will have this behavior. So many times I think the expectations we have for our children are so high for their age that it leads to joyless and humorless interaction with our children.

Using humor does not mean we never set clear boundaries. However, it does mean that we use warmth and love to set boundaries. We can say no gently, and stick to our “no” even through the persistence of a child. Boundaries are okay. Humor and playfulness does mean Continue reading

Day Thirteen: Twenty Days Toward More Mindful Mothering

One thing that many Waldorf teachers do at night is to meditate on the children in their

class. I think this practice is absolutely vital as a parent, and certainly as a homeschooling parent!

In the discussion /write-up following Dr. Helmut von Kugelgen’s article “How Can We Find A Connection to The World of the Angels?” in the blue paperback book, “A Deeper Understanding of the Waldorf Kindergarten,” the question arises: Continue reading

Day Twelve: Twenty Days Toward More Mindful Mothering

What lovely timing to have the first day of Advent beginning tomorrow, and to have our topic for Day Twelve be that of “warmth.”  I recently wrote about warmth on All Saints Day, one of my favorite days of the whole year, but today I really want to expand upon this concept of warmth as an inner quality that we hold for children.

I see many adults who do not seem to be convinced that the world is a good place, or that the people around them are good.  This can be particularly difficult to hold sometimes in this season of holidays and in gathering with relatives and perhaps even friends whom we might feel hold judgment against us or the way we are raising our own family.

Yet we must hold this warm and caring space for our children.  Our beliefs and our moods penetrate our children, and giving a child a “Christmas mood” year round is a fundamental foundation for the small child.  Our ability to cultivate and hold this mood should come back to the work we do in our religious and spiritual path.  Continue reading

Day Eleven: Twenty Days Towards Being A More Mindful Mother

This is a topic near and dear to my heart: making your home work for you. This whole Homemaking, and this notion of “What makes a home a home?” is profoundly interesting to me!

A house feeling like a home probably has more to do with the “intangibles” than the tangibles.  Many places have certain feel to them when you walk in.   Is there warmth, joy, laughter, playfulness – or is it all tense, anger, bitterness, misery?  Continue reading

Part Two of Day Ten: Twenty Days Toward Being A More Mindful Parent

When you know about realistic expectations, what do you do with it all?

Every child is different, every family culture is unique and onto itself in many ways.

There is this guidepost -realistic expectations – they are much like finding a trail marker in the forest.  However, then there is the trail in between the trail posts and only you and your child can blaze that together. This path is called loving guidance.

Guidance and connection are both very important, and  the ability to guide our children wonderfully requires a balanced approach that includes aspects of thinking, feeling, and willing. Continue reading

Part Three of Day Ten: Twenty Days Toward More Mindful Mothering

This is the third and final installment of “Day Number 10” of our series “Twenty Days Toward Being A More Mindful Mother”. I just wanted to briefly cover the seven and eight year olds. These are ages that are often seen as “older” in our society, and I am here to tell you these ages still need protection and also require appropriate developmental expectations that may be a bit different than the earlier years.

Here is a prior post to ponder: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/04/08/the-seven-and-eight-year-old-still-a-need-for-protection/

Realistic Expectations for the Seven-Year-Old: Continue reading

Part Two of Day Ten Of Twenty Days Toward Being A More Mindful Mother

AGE FIVE: Often referred to as a “Golden Age” in development with five-and-a-Continuing on with our look at realistic expectations for  the ages three through eight, we are up to age five.  Age five and a half is a traditional time of  developmental disequilibrium according to most childhood development texts.

 

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS FOR THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD: Continue reading