Comparing yourself to others often causes the disappearance of your own happiness. This can be such a challenging path, this mindful mothering, this homeschooling, this Waldorf view of life, that to start to look around it is easy to either feel smug about it all, or more likely, insecure and questioning of oneself.
I just want to remind you today that you are on the right path for your family. It is okay if you don’t have all the answers when your oldest child is four. You don’t have to defend yourself or your choices. It is okay when people make different choices than you do for their families. Each and every parent and family are on their own paths and we all have our own lessons to learn. Each and every family is different.
I know personally it is much easier for me to respect someone else’s choices much better if I feel like there was some thought to that choice! LOL! However, at the same time, parents cannot always think about every single thing that is new to them or they feel insane! And we all have priorities of things and issues and causes that are important to us that may not be as important to someone else. I try to remember that.
Please, please, please do not let your causes, your beliefs, (uh, your obsessions?) be the wedge between you and your partner, you and your family, you and your friends if you can help it. Maybe you will be able to show something to the people in your life just by being who you are and doing what you do; maybe those people actually have something to teach you today! Please be open to that! Open your hearts and look for the things where we have common ground instead of being so quick to jump to the differences.
It is so hard when our oldest one is very little. We have such a protective (and sometimes tight) gesture around that child. We have such a need for things to be “right”. And to be sure, there is essential and non essential, and not everything people do with their children is “ right” by a longshot. I think we live in a society where many mothers are striving so hard to be mindful and think things through but then we also have so many parents who seem to view their tiny children as inconveniences to their busy lives. However, sometimes the “mindful” parents need to let go a little bit. Your child, whilst developing under your etheric cloak, doesn’t need your baggage, and doesn’t need you to “control” their behavior or every single thing that happens in their existence. Your child doesn’t need this unattainably perfect childhood with unattainably perfect parents.
What your child needs is your warmth and your love even when they are in a rougher stage of development;
What your child needs is your laughter, authentic and real;
What your child needs today is a big hug and a whole lotta love;
What your child needs is a stable rhythm but also enough spontaneity to make life fun; nothing crazy, but go splash in some puddles! Get dirty! Play in the mud!
What your child needs is music and stories and being outside and playing;
What your child needs is a COMMUNITY of people who love them besides just their mother;
What your child needs is for you to have a vital, positive, wonderful marriage that they can look up to (even if they think it is disgusting when you kiss each other )
What your child needs is for you to understand child development and to have realistic expectations and for you to quit trying to fix them, to change them into someone else, and to control every single thing that goes on
What your child needs is for you to get real, give some things up for them so they can develop in the right way, but to also have FUN whilst you are doing it.
What your child needs is for you to see how real and precious and messy and wonderful parenting and family life is today.
Life is too short to not live with joy and love and warmth.
Blessings today to you and your precious children,