Tag Archives: children

Joy in the Home

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“We must make the mother happy, as the child thrives on joy!” – Michaela Glockler

In this time where I see parents more and more searching for right answers, (convinced there is a “right answer” in matters of parenting), increasingly time- pressed and pressured from the economic side of life, with perhaps less differentiation between children and adults, there often can be little joy in parenting.

The smallest interactions with your child have the potential to be joyful, if one slows down long enough to experience this. All children, but small children especially, need the gift of time. Some have labeled this “slow parenting”, but this wisdom used to not need such a label. This does not mean they are shut off in their rooms for long periods alone and with technology but instead of infusing into the life of the family through a continued call to come and be held by the warmth and joy in the house.

Early years children need just the smallest flexible rhythm around diapering/bathroom; eating; playing and working; rest and sleeping with warmth infused in a happy and stable rhythm. Middle years children need heartfelt guidance of what to do with emotions, how to participate in an expanded community life and with expanded rhythms and responsibilities. The adolescent needs to begin the work of discerning right judgment, right initiative, right independent thinking – among other things. Four years in high school goes by rather quickly.

The backdrop to the developmental tasks in hand of the parent is that of joy. How can you bring more joy into your homes and into your attitudes in parenting? How you nurturing your own path? This is important not only for tiny children who notice so many small details in their world, but even for the teenagers who will notice the home cooked meal, the flowers on the table, the smile when they enter the door and more. We can hold this space throughout the stages of development.

Our third child is now fourteen and entering ninth grade, the first year of high school in the States. We are embarking on this journey for the last time and I am thinking and meditating in regards to how to help guide him in the best possible way toward his future. At this point, we also have coaches, mentors, other parents of his friends, to also assist us and to love him. This is invaluable. Your community is so important and helpful in this time.

How are you planning your new parenting and homeschooling year to bring joy?

Love to all,

Carrie

Read Along With Me: “How The Future Can Save Us” – Growth

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The section of this book entitled “Growth” has three different sections to look at. The first section is entitled “Protection and Leadership” and begins with a poem from “Leaves of Grass” about how a child went forth and became the first object he looked upon….leaving author Stephen Sagarin to write that our children are being pressured to grow up too quickly. They become consumers from an early age and are being asked by advertisers to grow up faster, to buy products, and that without these products they should not be confident.

He writes, “….teens are in that in-between place, that nowhere land in which they have enough freedom, power, maturity, mobility, and intelligence to make choices, but not the developed judgment to always make wise or rational decisions.”

Side Note : I was talking to a high school sophomore and just newly graduated high schooler today and I was telling them that France passed a ban that bans smartphones and tablets for kids between 3 and 15 years of age (I believe just at school). They said they wished that was the case here. “It would have to be a law though,” they both said, “Because if some people have it (phones) and some don’t, that’s when there are problems. But it’s not good for your brain.” Even teenagers know that it isn’t great for them to consume, but they feel pressure to keep up with what other teens are watching. This conversation was interesting timing, considering reading this essay!

The author goes on to point out that America’s image around the world is essentially adolescence and youth, and perhaps this points the way toward our jobs (as teachers, as parents) should be to protect children from growing up too quickly. He points out that Rudolf Steiner spoke about this in “Balance in Teaching,” mentioning protection, enthusiasm, reverence as ways to provide good teaching for children.

But protection doesn’t last forever. At some point it our job to help children go through adolescence and go on to become thoughtful, ethical, creative adults (my paraphrase). Rudolf Steiner wanted education to help develop a “free human being.” Sagarin quotes a passage from “The Spiritual Ground of Education” and talks about how adolescents need freedom of their own intelligence and how without the assistance of adults, they may not only flounder or flail, but not survive. The ages between 12 and 16 are a “vulnerability gap” – named this by famed Master Waldorf teacher and author Betty Staley. This is the time to encourage freedom but ALSO responsibility.

Section 2 of “Growth” is “Growth and Learning in Three Easy Graphs!” “When you are very young, and most of your energy or life force is going into your physical growth, you don’t have as much energy available for intellectual growth. But, as your physical growth slows, you are increasingly capable of turning your mind to whatever you choose.” The last graph neatly shows how these areas intersect. While sometimes Waldorf students are seen as “behind” in the early years or early grades due to beginning academics around age 7, they typically catch up and surpass their peers around fourth grade and accelerate their learning in adolescence, where it should be accelerated. This puts the emphasis, in my opinion, upon the health of the whole child.

What did you think about this section?

Blessings,

Carrie