What Experienced Waldorf Homeschooling Mothers Would Tell You…

Posted on by
4

When I was part of a Waldorf-specific homeschooling group here in my home state, one thing we did every year (and often several times a year!) was  get together to discuss “hot topics” about HOW to homeschool.  How do you do it with a new baby and multiple children?  With multiple children spread out in ages?  How do you do circle time with an only child?   How do you learn to paint or draw or knit or sing with an only child, with multiple children, in the spring when everyone has spring fever, when you have four grades to fit in?  These are things you really can only learn from other homeschooling mothers who have been through it!

Many very experienced Waldorf homeschooling families are no longer blogging for reasons ranging from having their work stolen and sold as part of a curriculum to their children’s requests for privacy to just the difficulty of talking about how to teach writing an essay for literature versus the much more fun task of talking about festival preparations and fairies.  (yes, and by the way, gnomes, fairies and festivals get a lot more blog hits than the academic high points of the older grades!)  This is so sad, though, for the newest generation of Waldorf homeschooling parents because these experienced families have so much wisdom and so many stories and kernels of wisdom that could be shared.

If you could sit down with a group of experienced Waldorf homeschooling families,  I think what  you would hear from them is:

It absolutely is hard work.  Incredibly hard work.  Over so many, many years.

You can do this.

It will be okay.

Your homeschooling will not be like a Waldorf School.  There is only one of you.

Teaching in a Waldorf environment is an art.  We have many more things in our heads than we could possibly bring in any one particular lesson, and we look at the children in front of us on that particular day in that particular moment and bring it.  It is less of a “how-to” and more of an intuitive art and relationship.  So hard for the new Waldorf homeschooling mothers to hear, but so true.

You can let go of some things, and in fact, you may have to.   There may be some things that are impossible to bring in the home environment.  Conversely, there are advantages to the homeschooling environment that can never be replicated in a school environment.

You can homeschool through high school.  Waldorf homeschooling provides a beautiful, rigorous, artistic, practical education that culminates in the twelfth grade.

Be proud of all the hard work you are putting into your children and your family.  In this day and age, it is often under-valued and under-appreciated.

But don’t view that investment as a guarantee.  Children come with their own things, they go their own ways, they may reject what you brought to them the older they get.  This happens irrespective of schooling sometimes.

Never sacrifice yourself, your health, your marriage, for a “perfect” way of homeschooling or a “perfect” curriculum.  Far better to have a happy family life, an encouraging, supportive and cooperative environment than to attain perfection alone and broken. Take care of yourself and your relationships, and then your homeschooling.  It will all work out.

The housework, driving, cooking, etc needs to be simple and as delegated as possible.  The ability to show our children HOW to nourish a home and the people in it, along with the land we are on, is vitally important.  Practical work in the home is the cornerstone of Waldorf homeschooling.    Don’t take that away from our children by never having them learn, but also go easy on yourself if you have teens and older children where there are activities outside of the home, multiple long grades to teach and you need to have simpler routines and rhythms and meals than in the past.

Remember that Love is the root of all Waldorf homeschooling…. https://theparentingpassageway.com/2015/07/14/the-root-of-waldorf-homeschooling-is-love

In love,

Carrie

 

 

 

Weeks 21 and 22: Homeschooling Eighth, Fifth and Kindy

Posted on by
2

It almost feels like the verge of spring here, despite several days of very cold weather and flurries.  The skies are blue, and it feels lovely to be outside today.  I think we all are feeling a little spring fever already!

These past few weeks have flown by; if you would like to see what we were working on in weeks nineteen and twenty, please see here:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2016/02/04/weeks-nineteen-and-twenty-of-homeschooling-eighth-fifth-and-kindy/

Kindergarten:  Having a forest kindergarten program two days a week has been really wonderful for our extroverted little guy.  At home, we have been working with a winter/early spring circle at home, the story “The Quiltmaker’s Gift” and drawing, painting, bread baking and being outside hiking.

What I have been contemplating a lot is this balance between the older children and what they need academically and socially and  what our littlest guy needs.   Our oldest will be 15 this summer…and that seems a long way from 6 right now… How do we resolve and balance those needs?  Is there even a way to do this?  I have spoken lately to quite a few mothers of completely extroverted third children who would do fabulously if the entire day could be structured around them, but what do you do if the whole day cannot be structured around them?  Still contemplating deeply.

Fifth Grade:  We finished Ancient China and have been fully immersed in Ancient Greece.  We have studied the land of Greece, wet on wet painted the land and wrote a summary, and drew some forms to decorate our main lesson book pages.  We have gone through all the major gods and goddesses of Greek mythology, and then our fifth grader picked one myth to re-write.  Our fifth grader chose to re-write the story of Dionysus and the pirates he changed into dolphins as our major summary.  We moved into the minor gods and goddesses toward the end of this week and next week will choose another myth to re-write.  For the drama component, we are lucky enough to be working on a play  with a group of homeschoolers about the myth of “The Labyrinth”, which is a good opportunity.  We will head through more mythology next week, including  the labors of Hercules, the Odyssey and more in the next few weeks.    We have also been tying geometry into each day and looking at geometry within the context of the Greeks.  We may not have time for a long geometry block, so I think to tie this into Ancient Greece may be a way to work a little more into our school year.   We are also working with all four processes, measurement, fractions and a preliminary look at decimals right now in math along with spelling and spelling rules.  We finished reading “Understood Betsy” with its focus on New England and are now reading “Strawberry Girl” by Lois Lenski with its focus on Florida.

Eighth Grade:  In the past two weeks, we have continued our Geography of Asia block.  We went back and focused a lot on modern Chinese history, especially Chairman Mao and Chaing Kai-Shek, the cultural revolution and more.  Our eighth grader made a timeline about Chinese Revolution along with a pencil drawing to practice drawing people.  Our eighth grader has been reading “The Good Earth” by Pearl Buck and we have used this to look at characters, theme, symbolism and more in a piece of literature and then as a read-aloud we are reading “Red Scarf Girl” which focuses on the Cultural Revolution of China.  In weeks 19 and 20 we had also covered Korea and Japan ; we also studied  Daruma dolls and their meaning and Japanese Buddhism.  We studied Vietnam and included a beautiful picture of a water buffalo to encapsulate our reading of the book  “Water Buffalo Days”; looked at Borneo; Oceania and its continental, high and low islands;  the continent of Australia; and compared and contrasted the Australian Aborigines and the New Zealand Maori.  Our main project for Australia is to complete a diorama and report of the Great Barrier Reef.    After this block our eighth grader really wants to move into World History, so we will be doing that as our next block.

In  math, we are still working on ratios and proportions – especially as they pertain to blueprints and scales for a map.   Spanish still continues to come along.  The 4-H District Project Achievement is  coming in the first weekend of April at the 4H center.  Our eighth grader is presenting a speech on the Get Outdoors Program and the Junior Ranger Badge Program in Outdoor Recreation.

I would love to hear what you are working on this week!  I am glad we are a little more than halfway through the school year.There were many points so far this year where I felt completely under water trying to juggle children of such vastly different ages so  although we still have quite a few weeks of school left, I am hoping it will be successful.

Blessings,

Carrie

 

 

 

 

 

The February Homeschool Rhythm Re-Check

Posted on by
9

February is such a great time to re-assess what is working and what is not.  I have had conversations these past few weeks with several different homeschooling families about when to “do school” during the day.  I don’t think there is a “right” answer; every family is different and we are not running Waldorf schools.  And, because we are also (usually) the chef, driver, housekeeper, keeper of the tone of the home, and hopefully taking care of ourselves (and many of us also hold down an  outside or from  the home job while homeschooling!), we have a lot to consider when crafting a rhythm that works for the family.  Because, really, the homeschooling rhythm cannot be separate from the home rhythm.  Homeschooling is part of that home rhythm, but if you get up and the house is a mess and you have no food in your house, then probably homeschooling is going to go by the wayside whilst you clean up and go get food.   (Okay, some homeschooling families live in remote areas and have well-stocked stores, so perhaps this is more of a suburban/urban challenge, but I am throwing it out there as an example!)

I can only share with you what is working for me this month…it changes frequently!  Take what resonates with you, and works for you.  We are all different.   These are the things I try to examine each and every week:

    1.  Self-care.  I recently discovered my Vitamin D levels were at why-don’t-I-have-rickets- levels.  It was rather shocking, considering that we live in a Southern climate and are outside a lot, but it also explained a lot about how I was feeling.  So, I think if you are feeling as if everything is chaotic and awful and fatiguing, start with yourself and perhaps a trip to your medical professional.  Also, are there any medical trips you need to make each week?  Are there things you need to do each day for your own health?  Most homeschooling mothers I know run from sun-up to sun-down.  So seriously, where can your self-care go?  That takes thought and it may involve cutting back somewhere else.
    2. A schedule for meal planning, shopping for food and cleaning. Use of crock-pots, Instapots,etc are usually helpful.
    3. Knowing if there is anything “special” coming up in the week – festival celebrations, birthday parties, etc  It helps to plan ahead!
    4. Check your amount of running around outside of your home.
    5. Look ahead on what you are teaching! It really helps to have things planned ahead, for example, to have your watercolor painting done or an example of your modeling done or an idea of what the summary should say.  It is a lot easier to fly by the seat of your pants in the early grades than it is the upper grades!

For us, we have been trying to get up by 7 and  be ready to start school by 8:30 or 9. With having three children, it would be even better for me if we could start school by 8, but I find with breakfast, cleaning up the kitchen, starting laundry, pulling out food for dinner and the children doing chores with me, that is as early as it seems to get.

I usually work with our kindergartener first – circle, story, work of the day.  Our eighth grader is usually working on something independently at this time. Our fifth grader is still not a good independent worker, so she usually has to wait for me.   Depending upon the day, I might meet for fifteen or twenty minutes with our eighth grader to lay out work or answer any questions for her before I work with our kindergartener.  It just depends.

Then I work with our fifth grader – usually this is opening activities, spelling,  math if we are not doing a math block,  main lesson activities and a chapter or two of a read-aloud.  Our eighth grader is usually still working independently on Spanish, math, reading something for school, working on main lesson book pages, or helping with her little brother during this time.

Usually, our eighth grader gets in some time with me before lunch and then again right after lunch because everyone gets hungry by 11:30 or 12.  Our fifth grader usually is the main lunch helper and sometimes solely responsible for lunch for the family.   Our eighth grader’s school work with me usually consists of  opening activities, reviewing her math and looking ahead to the next day’s math so she will be able to do it fairly independently, main lesson activities and a read-aloud.  I don’t do a lot of formal spelling or grammar with her because that comes very naturally to my student, but we do spend time reviewing her Spanish vocabulary and grammar for her lesson for an outside class either when we meet in the morning or just on the fly.  Our fifth grader at this time is usually helping with her little brother or reading or gasp-playing.  If the weather is nice, they may be outside.

Some days go smoothly.  Some days we are still working at three o clock.  Some days I feel like someone gets short-changed, but that will even out and another day someone else will get short-changed in time with me.  That is how it goes when you are using a very teacher-intensive method such as Waldorf Education, and especially if you have children who have learning challenges and need more of you or an older grade compared to kindergarten or an early grade.

People always ask about where to put handwork, music, etc.  I try to incorporate music (and drama, speech and poetry) into main lesson activities and we do more formal music through our church’s program (which is part of the Royal Church School of Music ).  We try to do handwork two  afternoons a week, but fully admit I am thrilled when there is a handwork class with  Waldorf people we know in our area since I would rather do that.  I love fine arts, and I do like handwork, but I am not a handwork teacher by a long shot.  My thought for fall, when I have a high schooler and middle schooler is to schedule two afternoons a week to do fine arts or handwork depending upon what outside classes are available, and use that time for our first grader to do handwork or festival preparation.  And maybe in nice weather we will work outside and he can garden and such.

Things such as woodworking, foreign languages, even things like blacksmithing and glassblowing and basketry , I try to find in the community, even if it is something like a summer activity.  For example, for high school , I feel grateful that we are within driving distance of a folk school that has a lot of blacksmithing, basketry, etc that we could do over the summer.   I cannot do it all and also bring my older children to activities, take care of myself, and take care of the house and cooking. And I don’t even have a job outside the home!

It can be a complete struggle to meet everyone’s needs.  People want to know what homeschooling is “really ” like, and I think with any teacher-driven method of homeschooling in what I described above would ring true for many families with multiple older children where you cannot really combine main lessons.  I understand why people drift to unschooling, or field trip/road trip schooling or something where you can combine more as opposed to Waldorf.  I have zero judgement about that.  I also understand why those who love Waldorf Education sometimes move to an area where they have a Waldorf school available.

Homeschooling this way is hard.  It takes planning. It takes perseverance. It takes organization. It also takes realizing you cannot do it all and that we homeschool hopefully for things such as family love and togetherness, fostering strong bonds between siblings, giving our children unhurried childhoods, having time to travel and experience life, spending time with extended family – whatever your reasons for homeschooling are, that these reasons are even “bigger” than each and every day’s highs and lows  If something about your homeschooling is bothering you, now is time to take stock and make changes.

Lots of love,
Carrie

 

 

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things: February

Posted on by
6

Generally, February is one of my most hated months of the year.  There.  I admitted it.  However, this year I am determined to change my own attitude and find all the beauty in this month of love and kindness!  Who is with me?

February starts out with the beauty of Epiphany , the fun of Carnival, the love of Valentine’s Day and then we go into the Lenten season of quiet and silence.  This should make for a beautiful month!

Here are some of my favorite things this month for our family:

  • The festivals!

Candlemas  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2016/01/31/beautiful-meditative-candlemas/

Chinese New Year:  https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/09/chinese-new-year-in-the-waldorf-home/

Valentine’s Day

Lent:   https://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/18/lent-in-the-waldorf-home/

  • Fostering Community.  We stayed at home more throughout the fall, but recently added in some Waldorf based classes two days a week for our smallest child.  I am looking forward to seeing beautiful people who love Waldorf homeschooling several times a week now!  We also joined a homeschool field trip group and we have not many field trips planned, but a few.  For us, this is a small miracle because I am not a very field trip oriented person as much  as I would like to be.  We have already been on several field trips this school year and have a few more planned.  Hopefully, the love of community will keep February looking bright!
  • Fostering health -keeping all of us moving and outside should help keep all of us happy.  We are having a little activity challenge to make movement one of the first things in our day after breakfast and chores.  We hope to instill a habit in our children to take care of themselves daily with movement that will stick as they grow older.
  • Kindness – in this month of love, I want to really emphasize kindness and manners. Manners are just a way we show kindness to one another.  In small children, this is done through modeling.  Middle schoolers and high schoolers  can receive more direct instruction.

Here are a few of my favorite things for small children:

  • Rest and sleep.  I think February is the perfect month to focus on rest and sleep and solitude.
  • Working with beeswax.  It is sweet to set up a little scene with natural objects, make a little something out of beeswax and add it to the scene, and then let your little one try!
  • Changing the nature table.  We changed ours this week to coincide with Candlemas and we have on it a picture of St. Offerus.
  • We also have a little bare tree, but with a few bees, to remind us of the gifts of the bees in our beeswax candles of Candlemas, a little wooden groundhog, a wooden angel to remind us of Lent, and some small winter animals.  During Lent, we most likely will add a bowl of mixed soil and ash that will remain empty until we plant some seed for an Easter garden, and a little vase of bare branches or pussy willows.
  • Focusing on ME modeling good manners and kindness, and clear thought by my clear speech.

Here are a few of my favorite things for older children:

  • Celebrating Lent by creating a mood of silence and quiet each day.  This can be getting up early to see the sunrise, it can be taking a few minutes before bed with a lit candle, it can be understanding more deeply what goes on in church during the Lenten services.  It can be learning new prayers or about a new Holy Man or Holy Woman.
  • Learning to cook simple meals that are in the spirit of Lent – more plant-based foods, less sweets, more simplicity.
  • Focusing on ME modeling really good manners and kindness, and clear thought by the way I structure my clear speech.
  • Vigorous exercise.  The children I have noticed lately ages 10 and up are fairly bouncing off the walls.  This is the age to have opportunities for the children to move!

Here are a few of my favorite things for teens: 

  • To talk directly about sacrifice during Lent.  An idea of perhaps not just “giving up” in the traditional sense (“I am going to give up candy”) but this idea of what we really want to cultivate that is hard sometimes.  Cultivating kindess and inclusion, even when we don’t want to.  Cultivating perseverance.  Cultivating a good attitude when we just want to be snappish.
  • Vigorous exercise!
  • Creating things of beauty for the home during this time. I especially like rose windows and transparencies.  Teens are really able to do these well!

Here are a few of my favorite things for my own health:

  • Adaptogenic herbs.  I am not a herbalist, but I have been reading Susun Weed’s books and putting together some teas for my own usage.
  • Follow up from any doctor’s appointments from last month where the results need follow up.
  • Simple, clean meals for Lent.
  • Vigorous exercise!

Here are a few of my favorite things for homeschooling:

  • Double check materials if you didn’t order last month and get re-stocked.
  • If you don’t have your start and end dates, vacation dates, blocks and length of blocks planned – get moving!  Make a goal to plan at least two or three blocks this month, so order the resources you need to be able to do this.

Please share what is inspiring you this month!

Blessings,
Carrie

Block Layout Plan for Sixth Grade Waldorf Homeschooling

Posted on by
11

This fall will be my second time through sixth grade.  I have a plan made of our block layout and thought I would share for anyone else getting ready to start planning sixth grade.  This is only one way of many ways to do this, of course, but perhaps it will stimulate some of your own ideas as well.

This is what I am planning on doing:

Physics – 4 weeks

Geometry – 3 weeks

Business Math – 3 weeks

Roman History – 6 weeks

Christmas Break

Medieval History – 4 weeks

Astronomy – 3 weeks

Medieval Africa and Japan – 3 weeks ( an out of the box block!)

Mineralogy – 4 weeks

European Geography – 3 weeks

 

Update 10/2016:

We started with Astronomy

We are now in Mineralogy

We will do two to three weeks of European Geography and integrate ourselves into Rome and do Roman History

Winter Break

Medieval History (including Africa and Japan)

Business Math

Geometry

Physics

 

How is your planning coming along for fall?  If you get your start dates, end dates and vacation dates planned, you can start planning out your blocks and how long you think they may last.  Then you can start getting resources and digging in to the flow of a block!

Many blessings,

Carrie

 

Weeks Nineteen and Twenty of Homeschooling Eighth, Fifth and Kindy

Posted on by
6

This is the week of Candlemas, the halfway point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, and I find us just turning past the halfway point of our total number of school weeks this year.  If you want to know what we were doing in weeks seventeen and eighteen, try this back post https://theparentingpassageway.com/2016/01/21/weeks-seventeen-and-eighteen-of-homeschooling-eighth-grade-fifth-grade-and-kindy/.

Kindergarten –  I really cracked down on our rhythm in week nineteen and we have worked hard to stay on task with meaningful work and festival preparations for Candlemas.  One of our favorite activities for this week’s Candlemas festival was making little beeswax walnut boats with candles.  We also made earth candles at our homeschool classes, and rolled beeswax sheet candles at home.    This week was the beginning of our two day a week forest kindergarten program and our kindergartener was very happy to spend time with friends and be in the woods.  We feel extremely fortunate to have such a program available in our area.

Fifth Grade – Last week we finished up Ancient Africa.  I mainly focused on Nubia, Kush, Meroe, the Mbuti and the San, with more to come in sixth and seventh grades.   Our fifth grader did a beautiful pastel picture of the African pharaohs that ruled Egypt and we talked about how there are actually more pyramids in Sudan than there are in Egypt.  Ancient African history is so fascinating!   We then  moved into Ancient China and talked about the geography of the land, and extensively about the Gobi Desert and the Bactrian camel  and camel caravans.   Our fifth grader wrote a little piece from the first person perspective about being a camel puller on a caravan and also modeled a camel in clay.  We reviewed some Chinese legends and learned about the biographies of  Confucius and Lao Tzu, and the Great Wall of China.  My original plan was to move into math and the Ancient Americas this week but my fifth grader is begging to start Greek Mythology, so we started at the end of this week with the land of Greece and introducing Mount Olympus and the battle of the Titans.  I don’t mind moving blocks around at all.  This year has just been like that, so I am just going with the flow of it.

We finished reading “The Golden Goblet”  for our Egyptian studies and now we are reading “Understood Betsy”, which to me is a rather regional New England book that was one of my favorites when I was a child.  A lot of the read-alouds I have chosen for this second half of the school year have to do with regions in the United States in preparation for our final block which will be North American Geography.  We are still working hard on math – all four processes, fractions, a little bit with decimals.  We are also working with spelling and spelling rules.  Our fifth grader is also doing some handwork in a class that meets the same time as our kindergartener is in forest kindergarten, and working hard in choir and for the church’s spring musical.  Our fifth grader will also be taking part in a play some homeschoolers are putting on for studies in Greek Mythology, and of course, the beloved barn shows are starting back this month as well.

Eighth Grade  – We wrapped up physics with making flying objects and learning about gravity, lift, thrust and drag, and about wings and rotors.  Great fun!  We studied many, many biographies of aviators, as I mentioned in the last post in this series, and our eighth grader completed a pencil drawing of Amelia Earhart that turned out well.

We started our Geography of Asia block with a review of the geography and some of the history of China, along with a pencil drawing;  then we mainly focused on the Chinese Cultural Revolution and a comparison and contrast of  Mao Zedong/Tse-Tung and Chiang Kai -Shek.  After that,  we moved into Korea and a discussion of the geography and history of Ancient Korea and more modern history including the division of North and South Korea, the DMZ,  and what life may be like in North Korea.  We are now talking about Japan and Japanese history.  We will have Vietnam, and Borneo to talk about and then we will move into Oceania.  After this block, we will jump into Oceanography, which my inner marine lover is heartily looking forward to!

We finished our read aloud, “The Brooklyn Bridge” by Karen Hesse (please, please pre-read for your eighth grader as it is a wonderful book but has some more mature themes and may not be wonderful for very sensitive children) and we are now reading “Water Buffalo Days:Growing Up in Vietnam” , obviously about Vietnam, which we will cover next week.  I also have the books “Red Scarf Girl” and “The Good Earth” tapped to read for this block.

We are also working hard on ratios, direct and inverse proportions for math, and high school Spanish.  Choir and preparing for the  church musical and now a fortunate turn to have a class in doll-making for our eighth grader, is  also keeping us busy.  Horse shows are starting up again this month, so we are also busy at the barn.

I would love to hear what you are working on.

Many blessings,
Carrie

Depletion and Hibernation

Posted on by
5

Today is Candlemas, also known to some as Groundhog Day.   I often think of that little groundhog this time of year, venturing out to see if winter will continue for another six weeks.  It made me think of the periods of winter in my life and how sometimes I felt ready to venture out of the hibernation hole to test the waters, and how sometimes I decided I needed longer in my hibernation hole or, conversely,  that yes indeed, now was the time to seize the day!

Have you ever gone through periods where you just felt so….shy? inward? … depleted?  like you needed a break from other mothers in real life or beautiful blog pictures that make you feel unworthy as a mother?  Periods where you needed a break even from extended family?  So much judging goes around mothering in our culture.  We are all like little isolated islands without much in the way of support so what should be a cooperative endeavor ends up as a competitive event! Sometimes we just need a break from anything outside of our families and our homes because we are plain burned out.  Have you ever been pulled that way and honored it for a season?

A little hibernation and shutting out of the outside world can be a way to lie fallow for awhile.  Pulling in allows a little of the pressure to slide off, a little pace of slowing down, and a release of not having to put oneself “out there” for anything but the most supportive listening of the closest and most intimate of family members or friends.

We are coming up to Lent soon.  Perhaps during this Lenten season, you will take the time to pull in and hibernate, but not due to any outside pressure or insecurity.  Perhaps this time you will pull in and take this time to restore yourself.

Restore your confidence.

Restore your feelings that you worthy of love.

Restore your feelings that you matter.

Restore your feelings that you are just right the way you are.  If you want to improve or change something do it  because you feel illuminated and led to, not from any feelings of unworthiness or shame or guilt.

Restore your physical health.  Sleeping enough, exercising, eating healthy food, taking care of yourself are all things to be done so you can be a light for your family.  And your children notice.  You are modeling for them how to slow down, how to get enough rest and how to be healthy.  It is worthy.

Restore your positive attitude.  Life should be joyful; there should be joy in ordinary moments.

Restore your sense of fun!

Restore your faith in something much, much bigger, wider and deeper than yourself.  Where do you find light?  Seek out your light.

Restore your sense of love, compassion, empathy.

Restore your sense of the big picture.

Restore your vision, mission and priorities.

Don’t be afraid to hibernate, but do it to restore, renew, refresh yourself.  I will be hibernating with you, and refreshing myself and my deepest intentions and priorities.  Please share your hibernation journey with me.  What has helped you restore the most in your moments of hibernation? What helped you come out of your shell again?   What did you learn in the fallow periods?

Love,

Carrie

 

Beautiful, Meditative Candlemas

Posted on by
7

Candle candle burning bright

Winter’s halfway done tonight

With a-glowing we are knowing

Spring will come again

-Candlemas Verse, Unknown Author

Have you ever been just so weary?  So exhausted?  If you have tiny children you see those sweet little bodies to fill with warming foods and coaxing into rest and sleep; if you have elementary-aged children  you are helping to balance burgeoning minds with wonder and bodies with rest and exercise; if you have teenagers maybe you are dealing with restless energy heading toward an uncertain future…and in between all of this you are cooking, cleaning, nourishing a spouse or partner perhaps, and maybe trying to take care of your own physical, emotional and spiritual needs so you can be on your game to do it all again tomorrow.

I feel your weariness.  I feel your exhaustion .  I feel you trying to hold on in order to nourish everything and everyone in your life.

I think Candlemas (February 2nd) feels this too.  Candlemas is this beautiful, quiet, still pause to remind us of hope.  Spring will come again.  Light will come to the world.  Newness can grow out of old.  Growth can come out of weary.

Candlemas can be the most lovely day to start with a beautiful breakfast of sunny yellow pancakes or crepes.  Candle dipping is such a meditative activity for the day; a gesture of bringing light into the winter of the world and the winter of our souls.   Other ways to work with candles include making earth candles, floating candles, or rolling beeswax candles.  We can offer stories of our friends the bees who give us fragrant, smooth beeswax as their offering.  We can offer this as a time of the half-way between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox.  If you could have a bonfire, that could be a beautiful way to end the day.

If you are looking for some more ideas regarding this festival, here are a few back posts regarding the Feast of St. Brigid, Candlemas and Groundhog Day.

I have a few other suggestions for this day.  Perhaps this would be a beautiful half-way point to survey yourself.  What is your self-care?  Where are things between you and your spouse or partner?  How much sleep and exercise are you eating?  What can  you do to nourish yourself on this special day of light and love so you can shine light on and love your little corner of the world?

Love to you on Candlemas,

Carrie

 

 

 

Three Reasons I Need Rhythm…

Posted on by
11

I find many of us are still trying to get our rhythm back at this time of year.  I know I am!  Actually, in my world of the Anglican Communion, we are still in the season of Epiphany and now coming up to Lent, so there is this sense of still being in the middle of things in a way….and many of us find our children grow and change over the holidays, so whilst the work of the day may remain, perhaps meal times or outside times or bedtimes needs to shift around.  Never be afraid to make a rhythm that works for you!  I always start by looking at what pattern we are in, and then seeing if it needs to change…or maybe it is a real pattern that remains..

Rhythm is this idea of a flow to the day; it is not a schedule because it is  flow -oriented and not as time-oriented perhaps as a schedule (although there may be times assigned to meals and bedtime).  It provides an order to the day and a sense of strength for the parent because it takes away some of the thinking involved with every single decision we have to make in a day.  If you know your errand day is on Friday, then you don’t need to go out on Tuesday, for example.  If you know you always put your boots after your walk in one spot as part of cleaning up from your nature walk each day, then you don’t have to round up boots that land in various places.  Rhythm just IS, like the tide coming in and going out or sun coming up and setting.

The three reasons I  particularly need rhythm are:

To continually remind me of the importance of the home. In a society that often does not seem to value being home except for short pit stops between activities (even for small children), rhythm in my home reminds me of the time and care it takes to create a nourishing environment and that there is value in that for the health of all of us in the family.  Ideally, in a home full of rhythm, a small child would be able to tell what day of the week it is by the meaningful work being done in the home on those days.  For example,  perhaps Tuesdays are always ironing days or Thursdays are always bread making days or Mondays are always the cleaning of the home from the weekend.  Traditionally, Waldorf Education has assigned different work to different days based upon more planetary influences (does that sound esoteric enough?!), so there are suggestions from Waldorf kindergartens for different activities for different days of the week.

It reminds me of the importance of what I call “soul hygiene” – that there should be a time and place in the day for inner work, for physical activity outside, for sleep and rest.  This helps remind me to pace myself and to honor these activities.  This helps me remember my main goal of parenting is to help my children be healthy adults – healthy physically, emotionally, in how they see light in others and how they communicate with others, spiritually.

We set up the environment with care, which teaches me attentiveness to activities and models this for my children.  We might have a song or verses to go with the activity.  We put things away  and clean up with care.  Again, it forces me to slow down and see the value of the activities we are doing for the physical, emotional and spiritual realms.

Lastly, (yes, I couldn’t resist sneaking in reason number four!) is that rhythm is your aid to discipline.  When we know when things will happen and how it will happen, it cuts down arguing.  This time of year, that can be valuable.  It is even valuable for teenagers and older children.

How is your rhythm valuable to you?

Blessings,
Carrie

 

Four Steps Toward Parenting Together

Posted on by
Reply

I have heard it said that parenting involves not just thinking alike, but thinking together.  Parenting in a relationship means that the needs and thoughts of both parties have to be considered and communicated and compromised upon.  It is hard work, but I encourage you to do the work.  If I have parents reading this who are in their 20s and early 30s, I really want to encourage you to do this work now.   I am in my 40s, and unfortunately there are many divorces going on amongst beautiful couples that we know – but most of the divorces had roots from when these couples were in their late twenties or early thirties.  So, I would like to share five tips for those working toward parenting (and unifying other aspects of their life as well!) together.

  1.  Parenting is just one aspect of how a couple communicates, respects and appreciates each other. I think “parenting” comes up as this hot button – whether it is breastfeeding, c0-sleeping, educational choices, discipline – but it really is a facet of: how do we communicate as a couple; does my spouse or partner respect me by listening to me and respecting my ideas and opinions as well; do we appreciate what each one of us brings to the table in this process?  What do we both really value most for our family life?
  2. If communication skills and compromise are difficult and you both feel as if you are just going over the same thing in a circular fashion with no compromise or resolution, get help from a third party (earlier rather than later!).  Many counselors work on a sliding scale, and many places of religious worship offer counseling as well. This chapter (https://theparentingpassageway.com/2012/08/26/overcome-gridlock-the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work/)  in Dr. Gottman’s book about overcoming gridlock could also be helpful to you as a process at home.
  3. Have a set time to address challenges that are coming up in family life.  When is actually a good time to talk through things that are important, where you can focus together without being interrupted?
  4. Cultivate some patience.  Not every issue in attempting to co-parent or be unified always works out in compromise; sometimes the differences are still there but they are livable differences.  Sometimes opinions change as one partner models things and shares with the other partner.

Many blessings,
Carrie