Review: “The Roadmap To Literacy: A Guide To Teaching Language Arts in Waldorf Schools Grades 1-3”

I know many of you  who read my blog homeschool and have been patiently waiting for a review of this extensive book (606 pages in oversized paperback form) and wondering if it is worth your money to buy this as a literacy guide for your homeschool.  Others of you are wondering if it is only good for a school setting, and still others of you are wondering if it is true enough to anthroposophic education indications for you to want to use it.  I will attempt to share my perspective on this work, and hope it will help you in your discernment as the expert teacher in your homeschool or school setting.

The format, as mentioned above, is 606 pages in oversized paperback form.  It is heavy and not the easiest thing to carry around in a basket for portability and reading on the go, but it certainly has so much information to share.  The book is essentially divided into six sections and 15 appendices, along with a glossary and bibliography.  The bibliography includes some of the most up to date studies on the teaching of language arts, and cross references topics through varying mainstream and Waldorf literature.   One thing I appreciated about this was it is simple to find sections you want to read and not feel as if you have to read it from beginning to end (although that is what I did).  I think this book would be a great book study amongst homeschool teaching parents or among lower elementary faculty staff at a school.

The first section involves background information regarding teaching reading, and begins with an experience many of us can relate to in our own teaching – once the letters are introduced in first grade, the sounds mastered, CVC words tackled, and the silent (“wizard”) E who can change words — what does one teach?  The authors mention that in their experience, Waldorf Schools are losing students due to lack of concrete language arts teaching and that up to 30-50 percent of students are being recommended for remedial work in the language arts.    This section talks about the stages of learning the English language and its three layers, which is very different from Rudolf Steiner’s native German.  It also gives background as to the historical development of the English language and how students recapitulate this historical development as they learn to read and write in English through the development of writing, phonological awareness, the first alphabet, the development of written conventions, and the development of reading.  It also looks at “The Roadmap to Literacy” way of learning to write and read – the phases include emergent, phonemic awareness, pattern, syllable phase, Latin/Greek phase. These are not grade correlations, but phases students go through in learning and each phase is broken into thirds.  This may seem overly complicated to some of you who have children who just picked up writing, spelling, and reading effortlessly, but I can assure you as a homeschooling parent whose children may not be picking up these things so readily, these phases can help identify what you can and should be doing in academic practice in order to  help your child move forward with reading.

Section Two is regarding Waldorf methodologies in language arts instruction and includes sections on the teacher and student as authors, the developmental approach of hands, heart, and head; school readiness; teaching from the image; working with stories; the literature curriculum; inhale and exhale – the role of breathing in a lesson; from the whole to the parts; using the power of sleep; working with the temperaments; the four fold human being; eurythmy and form drawing; home visits and working with the spiritual world.  This is the section that really will help those worried that this book may be too much or not true enough to Steiner’s indications.  As a physical therapist, I would have liked a more extensive and remedial kind of section regarding school readiness, but I also feel this is covered in many separate available resources.  There is an introduction to the “Sacred Nothings” of Waldorf Education – did Steiner really say that, or is this a tradition that has been developed in the Waldorf Schools?  Does it serve the student in front of us? There is a section on main lesson blocks/main lessons versus practice blocks, which is something I feel nearly NO Waldorf curriculum on the market makes distinction or provides nearly enough in terms of WHAT specifically to practice, again, especially for those students really needing direct instruction.  As a homeschooling mother, when I first read this section about practice, I felt a little intimidated as I have a limited amount of time to work with each child after main lesson period, but  as I got past that feeling it also stirred in me once again this idea of combinbing main lessons and combining practice sessions. It helped ignite some ideas in me as to how I would want to structure something differently in my own homeschool and in general how to pay better attention to practice.

Section Three covers fifteen aspects of language arts, including teaching the alphabet and the sounds of the alphabet, long and short vowel sounds, points of articulation, the sound of the letter “a”, the archetypal vowels and the eurythmy gestures, and when and how to introduce lower case letters.  Then it goes through BLOCK by BLOCK for first grade as to what exactly to teach in terms of letters, images, when you can teach two consonants at a time, how to introduce vowels, and fun games for practice.  This will not be an open and go thing for those of you searching though – you will still need to pick the images and stories, but it will provide a scope and sequence for teaching.  There is a section on handwriting and include when to switch to pencils, whether or not to use lined paper, how to teach handwriting and how to practice (and how to help struggling students). The third  and fourth part of this section works on encoding and decoding, how to segment and manipulate phonemes, and therefore this covers a large part of Section Three. Many of the techniques employed here and in the spelling section are ones I see employed in Orton-Gillingham type programs, but I think that is actually a good thing for those students needing specific instruction.  Many homeschoolers have found themselves having to teach main lesson work and use an OG type program for their struggling student because none of the resources on the Waldorf  market were specific enough for instruction.

There are sub-sections on symbol imagery and sight words, along with ideas for benchmarks in a school classroom.  There is a section on concept imagery and how to work with comprehension, including steps to sequential retelling, factual recall, HOTS questions, free renderings, curriculum connections for those in third grade and up. I think these are things that many homeschooling parents do naturally, but again, are often in short supply in any Waldorf curriculum on the market.  The last sections involve spelling, diction, and grammar.  The grammar section is very extensive, including fifty-two pages or so. Vocabulary and “kid writing” (often seen in mainstream sources but I have never seen mentioned in Waldorf resources) is also covered. Composition writing for grades two and three are also covered.  The last section covers reading – everything from teaching reading  (choral, guided, class reading) in the different phases of language arts development, how to differentiate instruction for those in a classroom, how to create an independent reading program, when and how to do book reports, how to practice, and how to assess your student.

Section Four covers phonics rules, and includes a lot of information for students who are struggling and how to help them. Thirty three phonics rules are covered by the end of third grade, with the idea that prefixes and suffixes will be taughts in grades four through six.

Section Five is the planning section and covers how to create block rotations, how to select curriculum materials, how to make block plans, how to make daily lesson plans.  If I was just starting to plan, I might turn and read this section first.   Then the section is broken up by grade (grades 1-3_ and offers examples of main lesson blocks, daily lesson plans, how to create nature stories and more.   I personally find it hard to read and decipher other’s lesson plans, but I think this section could be very helpful to many homeschooling parents who would like to see a layout.

Section Six involves assessment and remediation.  This includes informal assessments (homeschoolers are very familiar with this!), progress monitoring assessments, outcome assessments, and diagnostic assessments. Interpreting percentiles and information about standardized tests are also included. There are benchmarks included in the book, which in general I think move faster than most of us do in a home environment, but I am not sure this pace or scope isn’t something to think about in our teaching.  This beauty of homeschooling is that we can look at the child in front of us and adjust as to what we feel is right for our student.

This section does talks about the student who is slow to learn to read and how many of these students need help in critical early learning skills.  This is a hard one for homeschoolers, as many of us have had children who read late and did fine (but many of us also had children who read late and were NOT doing fine and ended up with visual convergence issues that were unidentified, or dyslexia or other challenges that impacted learning).  It would be my hope that if a parent teacher was exploring this book due to a child having difficulties learning how to read, that this would provide them some basis as to when to intervene and how. There are assessments for first, second, and third grade printed right in this book. One of the last sections is working with remedial issues and includes such things as remediating environmental factors, reflexes, physical and psychological capabilities, sensory -cognitive functions and more. It also talks about the remedial therapies used in Waldorf Schools, including the extra lesson, therapeutic eurythmy, pedagogical stories, and child study.  There is an entire section on dyslexia and suggests if identified early, intensive work is needed to build phonemic awareness and intensive, structured daily phonic teaching is needed and that this instruction should begin as soon as possible.  It also talks about Irlen Syndrome.  This is so refreshing to read about in a text geared toward Waldorf Schools, considering the number of emails I field regarding the Waldorf School setting and how dyslexia is approached.  

The appendices provide block plan templates that are detailed down to what skills are typically practiced in each block of first through third grade, what days to tell a story and what work to follow, and suggestions for practice sessions that should be taking place outside of main lessons.  It also has an appendix of sight words and listings of books for each grade and resources for the teacher, including form drawing.

A homeschooling parent might love this book if he or she has a child struggling with writing and reading, or if the homeschooling parent would like more guidance with what to teach after the intital introduction of phonetic sounds, word families, and sight words.  It will challenge you on your Sacred Nothings; I don’t think it will contradict anything you have read of Rudolf Steiner’s educational works which is important to all of us as homeschoolers as many of us study Steiner directly.    I think this book is an important one that proves we can address the archtypal path of reading and writing within a Waldorf context, but also addresses some clear ideas about scope, sequence, and skill progression that is often missing from other resources and also includes up to date information regarding some of the challenges to reading and writing that might not be as typical.  

It is a lot to read and digest; however you can skip around in the book and refer to different sections.  There is a suggested “how to use this book” section in the beginning as well that may be helpful.    The ideas for skill development are there, but it still may not be what some homeschooling mothers want in terms of “use this story to teach this phonics rule.”  You will still have planning to do , just like a Waldorf teacher in a school setting in order to implement this book, but you should understand more about why and what you are doing and how to do it!  The bibliography of works and studies cited is fourteen pages long and many of the citations are current, which is encouraging to see.

I think as a Waldorf homeschooling community, if we would like to see more targeted resources regarding specific language arts and mathematics skill progression, we should support more works from our experienced teachers.  I suggest you get a copy of this book and look at it and think about ordering it for your own teacher library.

Blessings,
Carrie

 

 

Successful Waldorf Homeschool Planning

Successful Waldorf homeschool planning is a little like planning anything else….

Where are we doing this?

We are doing this at home and within our family unit, and perhaps within a broader homeschool community.  The where is important, because this makes it different than a school.

Why are we doing this?  Sometimes questions beginning are helpful discernment, and helps provide motivation.

  • Our idea of a wonderful homeschooling education is…
  • OUr idea  of a wonderful family life is..
  • Our idea of a healthy adult is…
  • Our children need…
  • Our family needs…

That should be a little motivation. To get specifically motivated  and discover “why” regarding the broader picture outside of our family about  Waldorf Education,  there are helpers such as…

  • Rudolf Steiner Audio
  • Rudolf Steiner Archives
  • Rudolf Steiner’s lectures about education
  • You Tube videos about Waldorf Education made by the schools and Waldorf-trained teachers
  • Articles and books that discuss why we are teaching for each grade the subjects we teach – this is the developmental piece that anthroposophical education hangs upon, so if you don’t understand this developmental approach, you will not understand why you are teaching what you are teaching!
  • Great books that are inspiring about Waldorf Education

Then we need the what –

  • what are we teaching?  This becomes the basis for the larger picture plan of blocks.  A list of the blocks by grade can be easily found; the pieces that often are missing is how that ties to your place in which you live, and how that ties to the child in front of you, or even your family culture.  Waldorf at home starts with the wholeness of the family at home.  This is different than a block outline by grade that has served schools, and yet is a template that we also cannot ignore as it fits so strongly into the archetypal development of the human being that is a centerpiece of Waldorf Education.

How are we teaching it?  These are the details that become important in the day to day planning.

  • Artistry – we need not only creative ideas, but HOW to teach these artistic techniques.
  • Academics – we need to know an academic progression and sequencing, which many curriculums honestly do not provide well.  We also need to know how to teach these skills.
  • Combining – HOW can we combine our children so we are not teaching 3-5 separate main lessons, which I highly doubt Rudolf Steiner would have recommended for the homeschooling mother.  I think the essence of combining comes with looking at field trips and experiential learning as the basis for the blocks and academic work – which goes back to looking at where your specific family lives and your specific family culture.

It seems like a super tall order!  I find many curriculums do well in providing the motivation, the why, even the “what” (although the blocks, cannot often fill in the approach of your family’s geographic place and culture), but often really lack details as to the art of teaching, the scope and sequence of academic and artistic progression, and definitely in the combining.  These pieces may need to be filled in by you, the teacher, as part of your approach to education.

Blessings,

Carrie

 

 

 

 

Book Study: “The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself

Today we are diving into Chapters Three and Four.  If you are just picking up this book from your bookstore or library, there are back posts on the Preface and on Chapters One and Two.

“Negativity is so common that it seems normal in our culture.  Like pollution, it creeps into our homes and under our skin.” – Author Dr. Louise Hart, Chapter 3.

I love this chapter,  entitled, “Self- Esteem Protection Skills,” because it reinforces the rather constant battle I personally have with capturing negative thoughts or words or self-doubt myself, and also the outside exposure our children get regarding negative messages just from our culture.  This chapter points out that our self-esteem needs protection from all of these toxic things, and if we protect and nurture our children’s self-esteem, (I like the term self-confidence a lot and tend to use these two terms interchangeably as I read this book), then we end up spending less time putting ourselves back together after toxic events or emotions and can teach our chidren to do that, instead of learning adverse self-soothing behaviors such as using alcohol or drugs or food or avoidance.

Over two pages of strategies are listed in this chapter for dealing with negativity and toxicity.  I think what I am going to do is paint a little spot on our wall for “health and wellness” and go through some of these strategies each week with our children, who are now all (close to! next month!) nine and up. I feel nine is an age to start learning some of these strategies for life, and some of the strategies are ones that children aged nine could certainly learn and use, because they involve setting clear boundaries.

Chapter Four, entitled, “I Know They Love Me, But I Don’t Feel It,” and talks about the two parts to communicating:  to send the message and to have the message received.  Many of us “knew” we were loved by our parents but many of us also didn’t really “feel” we were loved.   Loving a child does not necessarily mean the child feels loved.   There was a passage about fathers in this chapter, and how many fathers never felt loved themselves and worked long hours and had little contact with their children. I think this has improved since the time this book was published, but it brings up the point of what did we want from our own parents, and did we get?

This chapter also brings up an entire list of what does not communicate love, which includes a lack of boundaries and overpermissiveness, martyrdom, overprotection, material possessions, quantity time but without quality, and conditions.

So what communicates love to a child? Memories built on fun!, being with our children not just in the times when we have to do something for them, taking them seriously, really listening, using positive words and respect.

There is a wonderful exercise in the chapter to list twenty things that you love to do and note when you last did them  and every day try to do one of these things.  As you take care of yourself, then you can take amazing care of your children. If you do something you love this week and follow me on IG, please take a pic and use the hashtags #theparentingpassageway #winningfamily so we can all encourage each other!

Blessings and love,
Carrie

 

The Things That Matter For Teens

I had a post with some of my favorite emotional intelligence books for 8-10 year olds on The Parenting Passageway IG not too long ago, and there was a question about resources for teens.  I think that’s tricky; many of the resources are either really babyish or really adult or honestly just try to be so hip any teen is just going to roll his or her eyes.  So one thing I have done lately is to just make a little list and plan to read through some articles as we put our own thing together.  This is my list; feel free to take it and adapt it for your teen.

Good Relationships:

  • Boundaries
  • Ways to Say No
  • Consent
  • When you judge others, you are judging yourself; acceptance as an essential ingredient in relationships
  • How to Apologize
  • Narcissist Gaslighting Checklist and other articles about narcissists

For Self:

  • Growth Mindset- Learning is a learned behavior
  • Recognizing Anxiety and What to Do About It
  • Recognizing Depression and What to Do About It
  • The Inner Critic and what to do about it
  • Common cognitive distortions
  • The Importance of Play and Rest
  • Being Present
  • The Importance of Wasting Time
  • Productivity Doesn’t Equal Self Worth
  • Self-care tips

Specific to Romantic Relationships/Marriage:

  • Things to Think about Before Marriage
  • Knowing yourself will help make the best relationship
  • Love Languages ( words of affirmation is most common love language)
  • Generosity
  • Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend?  ( do we expect too much from our spouses?  the importance of friends and couple friends)
  • Fighting fair
  • From bickering to listening
  • Turning Toward Instead of Away
  • The Good Enough Relationship

Parenting

  • Power of Gratitude
  • Teaching self-care to kids  through rhythm, sleep, rest, playing outside, nutrition, hydration, connection
  • The more we hug our kids, the more their brains develop
  • Post partum depression; new dads can get depressed as well
  • Benefits of raising children near family
  • Reflective listening skills and how not to use empathy and listening for self-serving purposes
  • The family meal
  • No punishments and no rewards

Blessings,

Carrie

 

 

 

Teaching A Main Lesson

“A Teacher’s Thoughts for His Children”

You who descend out of heaven’s brightness

Now descend to earthly darkness

Thus through life’s resisting forces,

Spirit radiance to unfold

Spirit warmness to enkindle

Spirit forces to call forth-

Be you warmed through by my love

Radiant Thinking

Tranquil Feeling

Healing Willing —

That in Spirit’s heights will rooted

And in Earth’s foundations working

You may servants of the world become

Spirit illumining

Love evoking

Being strengthening

–Rudolf Steiner

Sometimes I get asked about main lessons, blocks, main lessons.  If you are new to Waldorf education, some of those terms and explanations can be found in back posts on this blog.

Teaching, in any methodology, should be an art.  It should be something living between the teacher and the student in front of that teacher.  It cannot be found in the pages of a textbook, nor really can it be found even in a plan made a few months ago in hopes that this particular block will hit the developmental mark.

Instead, I invite you to consider daily the goals of education before you, so beautifully written in this verse by Rudolf Steiner.  What are the goals for the student?  Radiant thinking, tranquil feeling, healing willing, that the student is an intermediatry between heaven and earth to become love.  What are our goals as a teacher?  To become that spirit of warmth and love that leads the student to these goals, that helps us all become the Spirit illuminated in the world, where love is sowed amongst humanity.

This is why, to me, Facebook groups about Waldorf Education are so problematic.  This is an education of a spiritual degree, which requires artistry and thought on the part of the teacher.  You cannot find that in any pages of curriculum.  Look at this verse; it has the secrets of what you need to know in order to teach.

That being said, many of the questions of a main lesson do center around the “HOW”?  How do I bring this, I need some pure mechanics and form to bring to this spirit.  Here are some thoughts about teaching the main lesson.

(Sleep)  This can be physical sleep, in meditating upon practice skills and capacities, or it can be a deeper sleep like letting a block with new concepts rest.

For the TEACHER, we need to set our meditation and intentions for the day. What are we going to accomplish today?  In physical therapy sessions, we often have a “mini-goal” for that session that contributes to a longer term goal – teaching is much the same way. What is the long-term goal with this block?  How is today helping us get there?

The Warm- Up – Usually this is the beautiful verse Steiner left for his students (there is one for grades 1-4 and one for grades 5-8).  Sometimes this leads into circle games, poetry,  singing, movement.  As of note, I  dislike turning this time into a music lesson for a breathing instrument (I think that should be a middle lesson), and I dislike turning it into a math lesson (I think that should be a practice session).

Recall – This is perhaps the most neglected part of the main lesson amongst Waldorf homeschoolers. I find the indications in most curriculums wholly lacking – retell the story or act it out and then move on.  This is extremely boring, and perhaps more applicable to the stories of the lower grades, but certainly not satisfactory for the upper grades.  One must dig into one’s creative well in order to come up with some better ideas for recall.  In history, games work well.  In science, I find building up an arc of concepts crystallized by not only the experiment we are recalling from yesterday but from several previous day’s experiments to be worthwhile.   Recall also takes the form of art – we are recalling as we model or draw or paint something from the story; we are materializing it before our own eyes and in our own ways.  Recall can also be things like dictation or  working with a math game with movement.

I think this is the part that you should be PLANNING out ahead of time and not just leaving to what strikes you when you are teaching. Come with some innovative plans and creative ideas!

Recall leading into practice/bookwork –  What are we doing with the story content as far as the capacities we wish to build?  This is not a strict practice session in terms of reviewing all the concepts we have built up over time, but we can work on work that really brings home what we have done in the recall.  This is usually what we think of as the “academic part” of the main lesson – the writing, the example math problems in the main lesson book.

Practice often can be made up on the spot (ie, more math problems in a similar vein as the recall, answering questions that lead into writing from the recall, but some teacher-parents may find it easiest to have ideas  and examples written down ahead of time. If you are not good at making up math problems or drawing main lesson book pages on the board whilst students watch, then you need to plan this out ahead of time!  In this vein, you can keep your own main lesson book that you complete one step ahead of your student!

New content – This is where we further what will become the work tomorrow by introducing a story or biography that the student can sleep on overnight.  Sometimes the new content can come after the warm-up as well, or it can be at the end.  Again, this is up to the creativity of the teacher and the student in front of the teacher.

In the home environment, other parts of the day might include a rotating middle lesson like in a school (handwork, music, gardening, etc), practice lessons for skills in language arts and math, and time for read-alouds.  It is up to you to make the schedule fit your family, not to make your family try to fit a schedule of a Waldorf School.

The last part of the main lesson for the TEACHER only is to ask oneself – did I provide warmth and love?  Did we laugh?  Did we do something new?  Did I promote radiant thinking, tranquil feeling, healing willing?   And off we go, bringing our ideas and meditations to the spirit world for a new day of teaching tomorrow.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Toolbox of Tips For Communicating With 9-12 Year Olds

This is second in a three-part series of discipline, communication, and development for 9-12 year olds so we can all be more effective parents!  The first part to this series can be found here and got a warm reception from readers as it tackled discipline, responsibility, protection, sports, emotional intelligence, and more.

One thing I love about this age is that I think we have a chance to make a big impact on how we resolve conflict and communicate with one another.  The home is really the first and most major place in which children learn this!

So, the first thing to be aware of is what is your communication style?  I find many adults have a really hard time helping 9-12 year olds with conflict and communication within the family because they themselves were never taught communication skills or conflict resolution?   So, I think we need to think of things such as:

  • How do we deal with things and other people when things are not flowing smoothly? How do we react? What do we say?
  • Do we accommodate conflict by being a people pleaser and backing down on our boundary?  Do we avoid conflict and run away?  Do we become competitive and try to win over why we are right?
  • How good are we a collaborating during times of conflict?
  • Are we direct?  Can we say and use “I ” statements directly when we communicate – “I am frustrated!”  “I am angry!”  But……
  •  What do we do with those feelings then, though?  Take it out on everyone around us?  Yell, scream, shut people out, cry?
  • Do we put people down when we are frustrated or irritated at the situation?  What do we perceive as “disrespect”, why, and what do we do about it?
  • Do we use steps in resolving conflicts?  Only then can we really model.

For younger children, we often think of things such as using our bodies to walk over to the child, connecting with the child and getting the child’s attention, using a calm voice with a simple request, helping the child follow-through in the request.  If conflict ensues, it often is just a matter of hungry/tired/exhausted/needing connection, helping the child calm down, following through or making restitution.  Attacking, lecturing in a long tirade, blaming doesn’t do anything to teach a child how to communicate or solve conflict.

For older children, things become infinitively more complex however.  There is often less of a “working together” model in place developmentally, which is normal, but it can also impact communication and openness.  Here are some suggestions to lay a good baseline:

What are the ESSENTIAL family rules (boundaries)?  Not like pick your socks up off the floor, but the really essential things. What specifically triggers the adults in the family, and the 9-12 year olds and makes the house less peaceful?  What is so essential it can’t be avoided, but what is not essential and could be discarded?  Pick and choose the ESSENTIAL.

In our family, this does include respect and good manners for one another.  Manners are how we show we care about one another, and we should have respect for the fact that we are all different people with different temperaments, personalities, and interests living in the same house together.

If there are things like doing homework or completing chores causing conflict in the family how could you break it down into an action plan that garners cooperation?

Make the family a place of POSITIVENESS and SUPPORT.  One of my favorite phrases to use with my children is, “I am here to help you.  Tell me what you would like to see happen.”  That opening often sets up a much better conversation.

Make the family a place of TEAMWORK.  This is often set in ages birth-9, but it is never too late to start!

EMPOWER.  Children ages 9-12 are not going to do things the way you do them as an adult, but the more empowerment you can give them within the rules of the house and what needs to happen. What will happen if responsibilities are not done?  If poor words are chosen?  If the child becomes completely angry?  Figure these things out in a time of quiet and calm, and have it ready to go and draw upon.

START TEACHING. Responding to what other people say in a defensive way is not an effective way to communicate, and just like learning to walk or throw a baseball, learning how to communicate takes PRACTICE.  A few hints:

Everyone must be calm. This step often takes much, much longer than everyone would like.  Take the time to calm down. Come back later.  There are few things that have to be solved in a split second.

No defensiveness. No yelling. No name calling.  No accusations.  No physicality. If any of these things happen on the part of your 9 to 12 year old to you, stay calm.  Tell your child you would like to help them.  Most 9-12 year olds can still get really overwhelmed by emotions, and need space and time. Defensiveness, yelling, name calling, accusations only ramps up the whole thing and instead of problem solving it is just emotions spilling everywhere.

We can all disagree, but the reality is if we all live together, we have to come up with solutions that work for the family, and we have to agree upon boundaries and rules in order to  live together.  Nine to twelve year olds are often not really logical, so it is important to help guide the discussions.

Listen carefully, and talk about how things happened and what you would each like to see happen.  Come up with a plan.   Make restitution.

I would love to hear your experiences in communicating with your 9-12 year olds!  Let’s exchange ideas!

Blessings and love,
Carrie

 

 

 

Book Study: “The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself”

Chapters One and Two of this lovely book by Dr. Louise Hart is like a balm for the soul! The opening of chapter one talks about how the real work of parenting is often unsupported and undervalued.  Parenting is the most important job as what we do when our children are small often goes on to affect not only the child him or herself, but future generations.  The author points out we are influenced by our family, our culture, and the times we live in – but that the family can be the most important influence.

We have a choice as to what patterns we have learned and if we choose to repeat these patterns with our children.  We can rise above our old patterns, if only we can see them for what they are!  The author suggests taking a look at our own biographies – what made us feel loved or not loved, what was discipline like in the family in which you were raised, what helped you feel good or bad about yourself, how did the people in your family communicate? We can learn from our own biographies and heal our own woundedness.  We can do this in place of wounding our children.

Children imitate us, so let’s give them the models of how we think, how we love, what we value, how we problem- solve, how we resolve conflict.  We are teaching and modeling for our children all of the time!  If we don’t have new and productive patterns to give, then we must raise our own self-esteem in order to have this to give to our children.

In Chapter Two, the author talks about how we make healthy children from the inside out by valuing who the child is, what the child is, and accepting the child as they develop and grow.  We show them that we have self-worth and our own dignity.  We have the absolute right to be treated with self-respect, the right to be happy, the right to accept ourselves.   People with low self-esteem will try to prove themselves through what they do (possibly workaholics or bragging about accomplishments), what they have (materialism), what they know, how they perform in front of others, how they look, who they are friends with or married to.  These are external conditions!  People who seek approval or who are people pleasers are thinking of external value.  True self-esteem is based upon who we are.  We can cherish ourselves and who we are!

Children look up to us as adults and authority figures.  We reflect back to them what we “value” and see in them.  This becomes the basis for self-image for children, and influences their lives.  Children identify with labels given to them.  Our children are not broken; they don’t have deficits.  They are who they are, their strengths and their challenges.  Let us love them in joy. Self-esteem with children begins with bonding.  This early primary attachment through touching, rocking, cuddling, cooing, making eye contact, soothing, breastfeeding becomes the bonding for the future.  Love with complete acceptance is outside of daily behavior or “bad days”.

“Children have their own life force, their own opinions, dreams, and destinies.  The challenge of parenting is to allow and encourage children to be themselves while guiding, supporting, and celebrating their process of growth.  Successful parents not only love their children unconditionally, but also protect them, set limits, and assume as much responsibility as is necessary for the children’s age and developmental stage.” – page 13.  Such a great statement!  The limits and what we do for children should change with their age, and the letting go we do as children age into the upper teen years provides the basis for the older teenager’s self-confidence and self-worth.

There is a great self-esteem game to play at the end of Chapter Two – try it out!  This is such a tremendous book, please don’t miss out.  Grab a copy at your local library or through Amazon and follow along!

Blessings,

Carrie

Book Study: “The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem In Your Children and Yourself”

The book, “The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself,” by Dr. Louise Hart, is one of those older parenting books that is just a classic.  I have a copy from when I first started attending La Leche League meetings in 2001, and have kept this book around ever since.

The Preface to the book by the author presents the idea that children provide us opportunities to grow and that parenthood will stretch us, there are a variety and diversity of families – many forms, many sizes – but the best thing we can do is confront  and heal the issues from our own childhood.  This takes time and energy, but is so well worth it.

I love when the author writes, ” This book can be helpful for any person, from any type of family, who is ready to let go of dysfunctional patterns and reach for health, joy, and satisfaction; who believes that everyone can be a winner in his or her own right and that no one has to lose out.”

We can help our children with rules for family living, how we communicate, how we influence our children, how we set the tone in our family while yet acknowledging the vary different temperaments, personalities, and degrees of extroversion and introversion present.  We are the experts on our own family!

I invite you to grab a copy of this book and read through it with me.  You can find used copies on Amazon or another bookseller or through your local library. It is worth it to take the time to develop and begin anew.

Won’t  you join me?

Blessings and love,
Carrie

Free Lesson Block Plans and Ideas Grades 7-9

The ten year anniversary of The Parenting Passageway is coming up in October.  This blog has seen me through the days and years of when our oldest child was tiny, all the way through high school and three children homeschooling multiple times through the grades! Amazing all the different changes in ten years!

One thing that has been consistent about this blog is a love of developmental parenting and education.  I often felt Waldorf Education met the developmental needs of our children very well, and wrote about what we were doing in our homeschooling.  I extend an invitation to you to check out my thoughts regarding the different grades and what we did for certain blocks.

All of this information is free, and I hope you can use what you like out of it to put together developmental education for your own children.

Grade 7

Upper Grades: Getting To The Essence of A Block

Resources for Seventh Grade

Ideas for Teaching About Africa

Ideas for Teaching About Latin America

Seventh and Eighth Grade Chemistry

Guest Post: Seventh Grade Chemistry

Seventh Grade Physiology

Writing in the Middle School Grades

Charcoal Drawings

Drawing and Painting in Grades 6-8

Life Skills For Seventh and Eighth Graders

I went through seventh grade week by week , starting with Week One here

Grade 8

Block Rotation – second time through 8th grade

American History Blocks for Eighth Grade

Eighth Grade History

Eighth Grade Oceanography

Computers: A Waldorf Perspective

Emotional Health

Homeschooling Eighth Grade for High School Credit

Pondering Homeschooling High School

I went through eighth grade week by week for the entire school year starting with this post:  Week One Eighth Grade

Grade 9

Homeschooling Ninth Grade

Block Rotation for Ninth Grade

First Semester of Ninth Grade Wrap-Up

Homeschooling High School Biology

High School American History

Multicultural Literature Recommendations

Blessings,

Carrie

Free Lesson Block Plans and Ideas for Grades 4-6

The ten year anniversary of The Parenting Passageway is coming up in October.  This blog has seen me through the days and years of when our oldest child was tiny, all the way through high school and three children homeschooling multiple times through the grades! Amazing all the different changes in ten years!

One thing that has been consistent about this blog is a love of developmental parenting and education.  I often felt Waldorf Education met the developmental needs of our children very well, and wrote about what we were doing in our homeschooling.  I extend an invitation to you to check out my thoughts regarding the different grades and what we did for certain blocks.

All of this information is free, and I hope you can use what you like out of it to put together developmental education for your own children.

Grade 4:

Fourth Grade Handwork

Teaching Fourth Grade Norse Mythology

Norse Mythology

Local Geography

More Local Geography

I went through every week of fourth and seventh grade in 2014.  This is the Week One post

Fourth Grade Man and Animal Block

More Man and Animal suggestions

Switching To Colored Pencils

Grade 5:

Fifth Grade Block Rotation

Struggles with Preparing for Grade 5

Botany

Botany – second time through

Ancient Mythologies

Extending Africa Through The Curriculum

Greek Mythology and Ancient History

Using Mainstream Math Resources

I went through an entire year of  fifth and eighth grade week by week on the blog.  This is the Week One post

Grade 6:

Planning Grade Six

Block Rotation for Sixth Grade

Planning Sixth Grade Roman History

First Block of Ancient Rome

Ancient Rome

Ancient Rome – second time through sixth grade

Gallery of Work from Ancient Rome

Sixth Grade Medieval History

Medieval Block

Mineralogy Block -first time through

Mineralogy – second time through

Astronomy

Sixth Grade Geometry

 

Blessings,

Carrie