I thought I posted this yesterday (Saturday) and I didn’t! Yikes! You can tell pregnancy brain is setting in around here, LOL…..At any rate, I posted the first post in the series that Melisa Nielsen of A Little Garden Flower is starting. These are posts regarding developing your own will for homeschooling.
Here is the introduction post from Friday:
http://waldorfjourney.typepad.com/a_journey_through_waldorf/2009/09/developing-the-will-now.html
Let’s all follow along together!
Carrie
This series by Melisa Nielsen is all about developing your inner work and your own will. A must read!
Blessings on this day to you and your family,
Carrie
Getting children outside is a key part of daily rhythm. In a few of the previous posts, I mentioned that I bank on a extraordinary amount of outside time for small children under the age of 7. Young children need these sensory experiences of being in their bodies, pushing, pulling, tugging, lugging, digging, moving, rolling in order to establish their lower 12 senses in the proper foundation for later academic experiences.
Since pictures are worth a thousand words, here are a few of my children on a Playdate with Nature: (many thanks to my friend Samantha Fogg for taking these pictures!):
Here is a very, very popular post regarding connecting your child to nature:
https://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/24/connecting-your-children-to-nature/
Check it out if it has been awhile since you read it; it may spark some ideas anew.
We can start in infancy with our babies by letting them nap outside and getting them outside every day. Nokken in Denmark has a good model for this, see more here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/31/nokken-a-review-of-two-books-and-a-few-thoughts/
Toddlers and preschool-aged children need time outside every day with sand, water, mud, grass and sticks to just play and be in nature.
Here are my two favorite resources for children Kindergarten aged (age 5 through older) regarding nature exercises to heighten the senses:
and this resource by Donna Simmons of Christopherus Homeschool:
These two books will give you lots of fodder for nature. If this post sparks questions in your head regarding the Waldorf approach to Science, I am a Science person and have written about this topic numerous times on this blog for your reading pleasure.
Many blessings, and get your children outside!
Carrie
Hi fellow Waldorf mothers,
I am trying to gather some feedback. Typically when I recommend consultants to folks I use this list here:
and the three curriculum/guides I send folks to check out are Christopherus by Donna Simmons, A Little Garden Flower by Melisa Nielsen and Live Ed! (although I have to admit that Live Ed! is too pricey for me and I have never touched it in person). I also like to tell people about Marsha Johnson’s Yahoo!Group.
I know many people do use Seasons of Joy and A Little Acorn as well.
I guess what I would like to know from you all is, well, what you are looking for because it still seems like there is a lot of confusion out there regarding curriculum, implementing Waldorf in the home, at what age to start, etc.
What would be most helpful to you personally and other parents in terms of curriculum? What baffles you about all the curriculum out on the market? What is most challenging when looking for curriculum? What would you like to see on the Waldorf homeschooling market that does not exist? I have had several mothers request a Waldorf homeschooling curriculum more tailored to the Christian family; are there other specific needs/wants that you all are searching for and just do not exist?
I am curious to hear what you all are thinking out there!
Many blessings and thank you for helping me understand!
Carrie
Melisa Nielsen has a Homeschool Planning Webinair available that may be of interest, and if you read this blog, you probably are already aware of Jodi Mesler’s products from HomeMusicMaking:
“While we have been busy getting settled into the new school year, the little gnomes have been tinkering in our shop. Take a peek at the goodies they have added:
Homeschool Planning Webinar – Join Melisa for nearly four hours of instruction as she details how to plan for and teach grades one through six of the Waldorf homeschool curriculum. Some important topics covered are working with multiple children, how to present a lesson on the board, and how to put her curriculum into action. Whether you are new to Waldorf or a veteran homeschooler, there are sure to be tips and tricks to help make teaching easier. The set comes packaged in a sturdy case, and will make an excellent addition to your resource library. Three DVD’s for just $15. Grab your copy today!
HomeMusicMaking Products – We’re happy to offer a full selection of products from music teacher, Jodie Mesler. With the traditional tin penny whistle, you can recreate the music on her CD or use it for soothing background music or take up her beginner’s music curriculum. The curriculum is geared towards the grade one parent and child, but can be used by anyone just learning to play an instrument. Jodie’s products are a cost-effective and simple solution to music instruction.
We’ll keep you posted on the gnomes’ work at A Little Garden Flower. Until next time, blessings on your journey.
Melisa & Erik Nielsen”
Just to let you know what is out there currently,
Carrie
Sometimes I am on the Mothering Community Forums. What I see in some of the threads over there is that mothers who want to homeschool recognize that they have a “restless” toddler (ie, the 18 to 24 month-old) whom they think needs more stimulation – and then they try to channel that into a curriculum or some sort of head-oriented work.
Possibly another place to start is to consider a rhythm to your day.
The easiest way to start a rhythm is to work around waking up times, rest/nap times, bedtimes and meal times. After these things are down and consistent, then work towards regular times to be outside daily and what practical work one does on what day of the week. Then one can work toward festival preparation for whatever festivals speak to you and your family.
A rhythm is not a scheduled noose around your neck but rather an idea of what occurs when and a way to keep a balance in your day of in-breath and out-breath.
Many wee people under the age of 7, because they are or should be living in their bodies, do not get nearly enough outside time. I would say four hours a day is not in the least too much for the under 7 child! This time is out-breath, but there should also be time to have quiet time, listen to a story or other in-breath activities within the day. There needs to be a balance for the small child who often is prone to excess in either wanting all out-breath or all in-breath activities. You may need to look at yourself and see what you tend to model as well! Do you display a good balance of in- and out -breath?
There are two other issues that frequently come up with the subject of rhythm. One is that the mothers themselves who have irregular rhythms and perhaps have childhoods that were devoid of rhythms have difficulty with the whole concept. They truly feel it is like the noose around their neck! Remember, a rhythm is not a schedule with times – it is a flow of the day, of the week and of the month.
So, I would say to those mothers is that a rhythm is adjustable, but also a great opportunity to work on YOURSELF. Can you get to bed at the same time every night? Try it for ten days and work on your own self-discipline! Then work on your morning routine, your meal times and the whole notion of quiet time. Baby steps!
The second issue that comes up is “How Do I Fit Everything In?” Well, here is the rub. You cannot do it all! I still find mothers of children under the age of 7 are planning too many things within their homeschool, and also too many outside activities.
Can you run your errands for groceries once a week either on a weekend when your husband can keep the children? Or could you go at night after the children are asleep? Or could your husband do the grocery shopping? Can you have dry goods delivered to your door? Would a friend be willing to do part of your list at one store if you do part of their list at a different store if you feel you must go to two stores?
What about health-related errands? Many folks have chiropractic or homeopathic appointments or allergy shots or something that has to occur weekly. How will you fit those in?
How many things are you personally involved in? And how many things are your children involved in? Because let’s face it, whatever your children are involved in are also your activities (on top of the activities you feel are really your own!) Do you have anything for yourself at all? I think this is important as well; something to call your own!
What age do your children get to start activities in your family? Many mothers seem to sign their smaller children up for something because the older children are doing something. This is not a good reason to sign a four-year-old up for something! It may be better to say, “Yes Jimmy, and you will do something like that too when you are seven like your big brother!”
I have also written on this blog before about how a four-year-old, a five-year-old, etc can be very content with simple things as opposed to lots of outside “field trips”. They will get so much more out of excursions to places when they are over 7. When they are four, a whale shark at the aquarium may hold their interest for ten minutes and then the kid down the aisle who has a piece of gum, the woman’s red sweater and the whale shark all register about the same on the Awe Scale. Think about it carefully and watch and observe your child.
The caveat to all this is that children who are 7 and 8 years of age and older, while still needing protection from fatigue, DO need to start getting out and seeing some things. Every family will handle this need differently as they balance the needs of the younger children to be home, but it is worth thinking about!
There are many, many posts on this blog about rhythm and creating rhythm. Have a look under the rhythm tag in the tags box.
Many blessings,
Carrie
This comment came in from a reader of the blog and I wanted her to have some feedback regarding Quiet Time. She writes, “My 4 yr old has not napped since she was three and a half to four, but we continued having “rest time.” I had her stay in her own room to do this since she sometimes would fall asleep, but lately I have had her try doing her quiet time out in the den with me while the one yr old naps. Sometimes she tends to be less focused when I am there and wants to talk to me… I am interested in what parameters others set for quiet times for non-napping kids? Alone in room or out with mom in the den/living room? What kinds of activities – books only, quiet toys, does mom read to the child for part of the time or do they stay silent?
Also, I am curious how interruptions in sleep affect a four yr old… my daughter tends to wake at least once a night, sometimes twice, to use the toilet. And sometimes she just wants to be tucked back in and have one of us lay next to her for a couple minutes. I know at some point she’ll feel confident enough to just go to the bathroom on her own without waking us… But I wonder if this is disruptive to her quality of sleep?”
These are a few of my personal thoughts, but I hope many mothers will leave comments below as to their own practices.
I feel that during Quiet Time, mothers should be resting. This may change as your children grow, but I feel if you are going about the house doing work, folding laundry, etc. and your child is younger than 7 and in that imitative phase, than they will want to be doing what you are doing. Also, as homeschooling mothers, I feel it is an important priority for us to have some true down time to think, evaluate in our heads what happened in the morning in our homeschool time and to prepare in our heads for the afternoon activities.
I personally don’t mind if my child wants to be our big bed with me, but I am laying down with my eyes closed! or if they want to be on their own bed. I also don’t mind when my four year old looks at (a few!) books (not the “ole giant stack!) and then rests, but I also feel many Waldorf mothers would feel this undermining to the point of Quiet Time – which would be the ability to be still and not have to be “entertained” by a book or by reading or by toys. I don’t know, I would love to hear the perspectives of some of the Waldorf mothers out there!
As far as the waking up in the night to go to the bathroom, it seems to me that many four-year-olds are not dry through the night, so this may be a real need. I think as long as she can really get up and go right back to sleep, then it is just where she is. However, if she is up and fully awake, perhaps you could investigate a bit further. Does she wake up at the same times every night to do this? Could you bring her to the bathroom before you go to sleep yourself and would that change these nighttime waking patterns? And then observe what goes on during the day…
C’mon mothers, please give your perspectives on Quiet Time and sleep. Leave your comments in the box below!
Many blessings,
Carrie
Sleep and rest are extremely important cornerstones of Waldorf parenting and education, and one area that it seems many attachment parents struggle with. Let’s take a closer look at sleep today and see if we can improve things for all members of the household!
First of all, a Waldorf perspective is that a small child may be born without much rhythm to their sleep and wake cycles. I think that those of us with what the Attachment Parenting’s movement terms “higher needs” infants, toddlers and children can attest to that many times the lack of rhythm seems to almost carry on through past the point where it is biologically protective. For example, we don’t want a small baby, or even a baby up until 10 months or so sleeping through the night. You say, wow, 10 months, really? Why 10 months? Because studies have shown that breastfeeding babies at 10 months are receiving ONE-QUARTER of their calories at night! Many people say their babies “self-weaned” under a year and I think this is due to a highly distractible baby in many cases who is completely wrapped up in gross motor movement during the day and not as interested in nursing – and if they are sleeping through the night, that really cuts down on their calories! Remember, human milk is the number one source of calories throughout the entire first year if not LONGER! So I don’t want to shortchange that. I also don’t want to have a 2 to 5 month old baby who sleeps through the whole night when the risk of SIDS is highest. However, do remember that many in the medical community do regard “sleeping through the night” as a five-hour stretch, not the seven to nine hour stretch many of us regard as a full night’s sleep!
However, there is something to be said regarding gently helping your child to establish sleep and wake cycles. A child who is very irregular and has no rhythm may really need your help in this area! For those of us attachment parenting with multiple older children along with babies, many of us have found it easier to have a napping child in a sling while we do things with older children as opposed to “getting the baby” to bed multiple times a day and then work toward that as the number of naps decreases. Even after a nap is “gone” (and I daresay in the olden days children did nap for longer than they seem to today!), we replace it with quiet time for the children and ourselves. Especially with homeschooling, one needs this break! And children need to learn the value of being quiet without someone or something electronic entertaining them!
Here are some posts regarding sleep from an attachment parenting perspective: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/03/16/co-sleeping-and-nighttime-parenting/ including parameters for safe co-sleeping and includes an interesting dialogue about what happens if co-sleeping doesn’t work for you!
And here are some posts from a Waldorf perspective:
https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/12/bringing-rhythm-to-your-baby/
https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/14/part-two-of-a-waldorf-inspired-view-of-sleep/
and here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/13/a-waldorf-inspired-view-of-sleep/
I would love to see a lot of dialogue on this topic; sleep becomes a crucial part of teaching with the Waldorf educational process with the three-day rhythm, so these are important issues to think about early on!
Blessings,
Carrie
A few of you have written to me and asked at what age to start doing devotions with small children. I have thought about this extensively. We did use “Leading Little Ones to God” (modified for our beliefs) in our family when one of my children was three and a half – but here is the big addendum: There was a seven-year-old as well (who felt this book was too “babyish”, by the way). But the point was that the older child was there to carry it for the younger child. So, if your oldest child is only three and a half you may have to think long and hard how you bring these things. It may be okay, it may not work. This is a situation every family must ponder and decide to do what works best for their family.
Blessings and prayers as part of your rhythm are effective, as are preparing for festivals in accordance with your religious traditions. We never “explain” a festival to small children, but we “do”.
Children also strongly imitate us, so if we show them how we maintain our own spiritual or religious practices, that is going to be absorbed more deeply than any words will be.
Irene Johanson’s “Stories For The Festivals of The Year” is a wonderful book for children ages 6- 9 that can be found through Bob and Nancy’s Bookshop and Rudolf Steiner College Bookstore and contains the perspective of the Christian Community. She writes:
“A question often asked is how families with children can celebrate Christian festivals in a way that relates to the events described in the Gospels? The contents of the Gospels can have an influence on our entire life. The story of the life of Christ Jesus on earth is like an archetype for our own biography. The destiny of each human being is a variation on a theme recorded in the Gospels. But young children do not experience themselves as individuals with their own destiny. Consequently, it is not yet appropriate to tell them Gospel stories as if they were part of a human biography, before they have developed a sense of what destiny is.
“In the religion lessons of the Christian Community these stories are not told until the children are about twelve years old. Before this age, children feel completely at one with their surroundings and stories best suited for them are fairy-tales, legends and stories in which creatures talk to each other.”
She goes on to write, “Since pictures for the events of the Christian festivals do exist in fairy-tales, children can be told stories that contain images of death and resurrection at Easter, stories about a change of consciousness at Midsummer- St. John’s Tide- and stories describing courage and conquest at Michaelmas.”
This is an interesting perspective and perhaps one also worth pondering.
Start slow with small expectations as you bring these things into existence for your small child who has no separate consciousness yet. One post that may be of interest to you is this one: ahttps://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/04/18/the-development-of-morality-versus-the-development-of-faith/ regarding the idea that the development of morality is different than the development of faith.
Happy pondering,
Carrie
Here we are already at Day Number Five! I can’t believe it!
Our focus today is to TAKE TIME FOR OURSELVES. Make yourself the priority you deserve to be!
I see so many mothers who are feeling burned out at best and miserable at worst. They are wearing so many hats (see this post here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/22/how-do-i-take-off-one-of-these-hats/ ) and feel isolated, alone, and many times unsupported by their spouse or significant other. I wrote a post with some suggestions about this some time ago: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/06/making-yourself-a-priority-in-the-parenting-equation/ It has many suggestions for overcoming burnout and dealing with depression. Please do read it if you have not read it before.
And now please pat yourselves on the back for being a mindful mother. Some mothers have a hard time hearing they are “good” mothers; but please be open to hearing it! If you are not open to hearing this, what are you feeling so badly about? What has shaken your confidence so? Could anyone else be more possibly invested in your children than you and your spouse or partner?
If you are reading this blog, I feel you are at least open to fostering or investigating possible positive changes in your mothering. Congratulate yourself for that! Congratulate yourself for searching for ways that may suit your family better for the long run from all the places you are seeking. Congratulate yourself for being mindful! Perfection is not a realistic goal, but being more mindful is. Learning how to forgive one-self, learning how to better hold the space in your own home as an Authentic Leader is possible!
The one thing I can suggest in addition to the suggestions made in the above posts is to find a mother who can mentor you. It doesn’t have to be an in-person relationship, although that can be wonderful. Maybe there is a mother from a Yahoo!Group or a forum you could contact off -list and see if she would be willing to provide her perspective on the things you are struggling with.
Perhaps there is someone in your local La Leche League group, your local Attachment Parenting Group or in your place of worship or other community place whose parenting you admire. Maybe you could ask them to meet with you, email with you or talk with you by phone. Some mothers use their mentoring relationship on a weekly or monthly basis.
And most of all, when your children are older and you are the wiser for the challenges you have faced and conquered, pass this wisdom on by becoming a mentor to a new mother. You have the ability to impact lives in ways you may never have dreamed possible!
I have several mothers who mentor me, and I am so very grateful for them. I wrote about a group of them here: https://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/02/the-brain-trust/ and urge you to find and connect with mothers who can also help you.
I recently had the great fortune of having a shower thrown for me for my third pregnancy and it was attended by the women whose parenting I admire the most in the world. They all have different and wonderful personalities and I enjoy hearing their perspectives on things. They always make me think! I urge you to form these kinds of relationships that will carry you through the challenging times of parenting.
Much love and many blessings,
Carrie
The Parenting Passageway 