Daily Archives: April 1, 2010

Talking In Pictures To Small Children

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A small child under the age of seven needs to hear you paint a picture with your words instead of a direct command.  This can really be a very difficult thing for us to do as adults, and as such we find ourselves barking commands (politely, of course :)) at our small children all day long.  “Come to breakfast!”  “Use the potty!”  “Get your shoes on!” “Now please!”  “Stop doing that!”  Even if we frame things positively and say what we do want, the point is that a million times a day we are asking our child to do something.  And when we only use a command, we are essentially giving the small child a chance to think, a chance to decide their behavior, and then we get angry when they don’t do what we want when we want it.  How funny how that goes.

Small children are often in a fantasy, imaginative world much of the day as they play and create games.  They are not adults, they do not view time as adults do, they do not have the sense of urgency that you do.  And nor should they.

A small child lives in the physical realm and in their bodies.  So, to most effectively parent, we must reach to that for the small child as often as possible instead of playing commander, or worse yet, trying to drive the car with our horn by yelling at the small child. 

Here are some examples:

  • Think of animals that involve what you need.  Can the child hop like a bunny, run as fast as a roadrunner bird, swim like a fish?  Can they open their big  crocodile mouths to have all those teeth brushed?  Can you be a bear that needs a big winter coat ?  (And as you say this, you help put the child’s arm into the coat)….It is the imaginative movement plus the physical piece that gets it all done.
  • Can you involve their dolls or their imaginary friends?   Quietly take their favorite doll and start to get it ready for bed and sing to the doll. “ You and Tim (the imaginary friend) can sit right for dinner “( and lead the child by the hand to the table).
  • Can you employ gnomes, fairies, giants, leprechuans?  Today a four- year- old and I looked for leprechuan shoes by my back door….  Oh, look at these leprechuan shoes sitting here, do these fit YOU?  Oh my, look at the turned up toes on your shoes, I wonder if those shoes will lead you to a pot of gold!  How about gnomes exploring the mouth cave for teeth brushing?  Big giant steps to settle into a big giant bed?

You do not have to do this to the point where it is tiring to you, but do try here and there, because I find most parents employ very little imagination with their children during the day and the children really do respond to it well and do just what needs to happen.

Your part though, is to plan enough time so things are NOT rushed.  Rushing is the death of imagination and the beginning of stress.  Please plan ahead! 

Also, rhythm is your friend.  It is in that space to help you and your child.  If you do something different every night to get ready for a meal, to get ready for bed, what cues does your child have for when things are going to happen?  Again, their sense of time and urgency is not that of an adult.  Also, please seriously evaluate how many places you are dragging a small child.  Are these places for them or errands and would your child just rather be home?   I am just asking you to consider this piece of the puzzle; only you know the answer for you and your family. 

The last piece is the physical end of it, DOING something with a child whilst using the imagination and movement goes much better!  Yes, it is tiring that that is what small children need.  But better to do that than to complain and moan and groan that your small child, who is perfectly  normal, is “not listening”. 🙂

Try it out, I think you will find life to be much easier. 

Many blessings,

Carrie

How To Make A Decision About Homeschooling

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It is that time of year…the time when parents start to think about homeschooling!  Contracts may be due back at private school, or you may be interested in not sending your child to school next year.  You have thought about homeschooling, read some things on the Internet, but you are still deciding.

I am very pro-homeschooling.  Specifically,  I am very pro Waldorf homeschooling, bur  this is directed toward anyone investigating homeschooling, no matter what method they intend to use (although you may see my leanings come out here and there, LOL!)

1.  Find out the laws in your state!  Many times parents are panicked about “homeschooling” their small children, only to find out the law in their state says that compulsory schooling starts at age six or something.  You need to know the laws, how to file for homeschooling, what the requirements are and if you really need to be doing anything other than living together at all!

2.  If you don’t know what method you are going to use to homeschool, you must investigate.  Go to your library, or on-line and look at ALL the options.   Really understand what drives some of these methods if their is an underlying philosophy, and look BEYOND the Kindergarten years if you only have small children.      Homeschool is NOT about re-creating a classroom in your house (although some people do!)…There are many, many advantages to homeschooling and using the home as a learning environment – things can be much more practical and hands-on than in a classroom.  You can involve a lot of cooking, gardening, building, hands-on science.  Please do, (and this is just  my basis coming out, so fair warning), think about more than just worksheets or “school in a box” or “a math program.”  Think about human development, think about a holistic approach.

3.  Understand that if your child is coming home from school OR if you are switching homeschooling methods, it can take six months (or some estimates say two months for every month your child was in school even!) to really relax into homeschooling.  So my advice is to start SIMPLE, and to plan to time around holidays, family trips, etc.

4.  If you have very small children, consider the approach you want to take carefully and how you feel  about when and how academics  should be introduced.  How do you feel about art, music, movement, nature?  Are these things integral to you and to your child’s development?  Is your approach regarding education more a “fill them up” or “it will unfold with support”? 

5.  Start with establishing a basic rhythm to your home with mealtimes, nap times, bedtimes, outside time, working together – part of schooling at home means helping with meals, cleaning up the house, etc.  Those things are part of school and of life. 

6.  Please, please do understand that the “pre-K” through second grade phase can be pretty relaxed. Look at the standards for your state or neighboring states; skills are just being developed.  I find many parents freak out a bit with their first child (or they have a little person in Kindergarten who thinks they need to keep up with big brothers and big sisters!) and are just not relaxed at all and are much too strict and moving too fast.  Develop depth and flexibility in your teaching.  Learning should be fun!

Please add your suggestions for parents, especially for those with very small children, in the comment box; I would love to hear from you!

Many blessings,

Carrie